only 1 respones for my sons birthday party

Michelle - posted on 12/03/2009 ( 71 moms have responded )

6

3

0

I have invited his entire day care class (22 kids) to his birthday party for next week.. I handed out the invitations with a 2 week RSVP date which was a week ago..Only 1 parent has responded.. He knows his party is coming up and keeps saying his friends will be there to have fun at his party.. I am worried no one else will respond since we only have 5 days left.. Another parent invited 16 of the kids and only 2 responded.. What do I say to him to ease this unfortunate scenario..

This conversation has been closed to further comments

71 Comments

View replies by

Carolyn - posted on 12/04/2009

208

25

11

Birthdays at daycare age hardly ever have a big turn out. The best advice I can give is to talk to the Center and ask if he can have a party at the Center. The parents are more likely to participate if it is easier for them to attend. Everyone is on such a demanding and tight schedule. I was a Day Care Provider for over 26+ yrs and we found that parties are more fun with friends. We planned games and safe play, it was always a fun and safe for all. Do not be disappointed that you did not get a large response, I do not think it is you or your child. I would ask the Center?, It would be a happy time for all. Hope things work in the best way!

Judy - posted on 12/04/2009

1

0

0

It's not just December, my son's birthday is in July and we've had the same problem many times (he's now 15). We'd invite 15 knowing only 5 would come. A few years ago he went to a friend's party in the Fall and he was the only person to show up. We felt so bad for his friend but he ended up staying overnight and they had a good time anyway.



For your son's party, try to follow up with the daycare parents when they pick up their kids. You could also ask the daycare provider to inquire on your behalf.



For future years, it really works best if you only invite kids from families you know. If there's a friend from daycare or school he really wants to come, get their phone number so you can send an invite then call and personally follow up in a few days. I gave my son a small address book many years ago and he's filled it with friends over the years. It was a big help to me in contacting his friends' families to arrange play days.

Leslie - posted on 12/04/2009

5

3

0

As far as a December birthday. Our daughter's is four days before Christmas - this year we moved her "friends" party up to the 6th to get it a little further away from the holiday. We will have her "family" party the Sunday before her birthday.

Peg - posted on 12/04/2009

1

18

0

People get busy, they forget ... they might have the best intensions...Personally call the parents of his special friends in his class. Offer to pick them up and deliver them back home. For your son, why not do a treasure hunt in and around your home. Make up funny paper tags that have a funny saying on it. EX: If you have a grandfather clock, write "Hickory Dickory Dock, The mouse ran up the ?" Paste a clue there...maybe even a baggie of small candies that can be shared at that particular site. If your son only has one friend show up, this will make it very special for him. Blessings.

Arlene - posted on 12/04/2009

1

1

0

Hi, I would make sure I talk to each mom. In the future I would only invite a few chosen friends from school and your family. It is quite annoying and I don't get why people can't take time out to RSVP. I like to know exactly how many kids i have, I personalize alot of the goody gifts( i don't do the bags), place mats, decor, etc. I need to know the exact amount of children ;So I grab moms outside school, call them etc... I hate to chase people,they are always apologetic, but if I want my party to turn out right I have to be proactive. It always works out in the end. Good luck with ur son. And If your party is to close to the holidays celebrate begining of Dec. 1st weekend. It doesn't have to be the exact b-day. On his actual b-day, just cut a cake with your immediate family.

[deleted account]

You could start calling and inquire, even though that is a lot of work. Have the party for who comes and have a great time! Also make this is a learning experience for YOU. In the future make it about your child and family and celebrate him. Maybe have a party in the summer time or another time of year (not for his birthday) but just to have fun with his friends. My brother has a Christmas birthday and he never never had a birthday party his entire life. I always felt bad for him. Also, have him celebrate true friendships and have those who are his friends come over all during the year, not just on "special occasions." We personally don't go to parties of people that are just acquantences (sp). We can't afford that many parties and it is shallow in my opinion. We are fortunate enough to home school so don't run into this "class" party thing anyway.

Sheryl - posted on 12/04/2009

1

22

0

Hi Michelle, This can be a problem anytime of year, but I do agree with Rebecca Dec is especially hard as people go away for the holidays and are not always around. But no excuse for bad manners they should let you know either way. Myself I would be proactive and as the other mums have said approach the parents to confirm. How do you know the child had even remembered to give the parent the invitation, and you would be suprised how many people dont check their kids bags. I lost a pair of my sons shoes for a week because someone took them home. As for Sharons comment about people just suck I feel really sad that you have such a dim view on the world we are not all like that as you probabley r not as well. As far as the thankyou notes god forbid if we had to resort to that they are not getting married. The kids come to your childs birthday party have a fat time heaps to eat a goodies bag and cake to take home. I feel this is an ample thankyou for a gift and if you feel you would like to do something extra I had some little cards to attach to the goodies bag with thankyou for sharing your childs special day This didnt take any time at all . As for getting thanks for helping out at a birthday party I do the same but dont expect to be thanked its just a mum thing that you do automatically to help the hosterss out. Anyway Michelle good luck and I am sure your son will have a blast as I hope mine does for his 7th on the 20 Dec.

[deleted account]

RSVP! Did you ask them to RSVP or did you just invite them? If not the only thing I can say is " If you build it they will come!" If you did ask for RSVP go ahead and get ready for the party, if no one shows up take him to the ZOO or something like that and he will forget about it. Good Luck and tell your son Happy Birthday!

Kylie - posted on 12/04/2009

131

44

29

I hope more than that show up on his big day, 1 thing u could do is write/type up a reminder note and ask 1 of his teachers to hand them to the parents, wiv ur no on them and hope it was just an oversight. Best of luck and i hope ur sone has a great day.

Tola - posted on 12/04/2009

5

29

0

Hi Michelle. If you have the parents numbers, you can call or send text messages as a reminder and let the parents know in your message or call to them that your son is looking forward to seeing his friends at his birthday party. Its an opportunity to actually make contact with the parents and possibly have a relationship. Because lets face it, the parents probably dont know you and may think you just invited their kids and that they are not actually expected. So again calling or texting is an opportunity to allay fears of the parents that their children are welcome at your son's party.

[deleted account]

Sometimes parents just don't respond and the kids show up anyway. I would call and confirm either way, sometimes people forget get busy. Ask him to ask his friends at school are you coming to my Birthday party? My son would say so and so is coming thouigh the parent didn't confirm. Usually that triggers the child to ask his or her parent. I have had many of B-day party (3 kids) now 19, 17 and 15 and never did just one kid show up but a phone call did help me organize the amount of food, cake, activities or goody bags (do they still do those, I hope not what a pain). Good luck

Deborah (Deb) - posted on 12/03/2009

14

21

1

Aren't people rude? There is no common courtesy these days. Rest assured, most will turn up regardless of the fact they have not replied.

Kellie - posted on 12/03/2009

7

4

0

Dont you just hate it when this happens. I find that I have to chase people a few days beforehand and just ask if they are coming or not. My daughter received an invite to a party that was booked at a playcentre where that parents had to pay beforehand for each child. At the bottem of the invite it said "If we dont receive a RSVP by....It will be assumed you will not be attending" Maybe be a bit harsh but I think fair enough.!!!

Patricia - posted on 12/03/2009

4

6

1

As a parent of 3 children in daycare...I'm very busy and sometimes forget about the parties. I dont suck, I just forget. Send a reminder...Call parents...ask for permission to hang a flyer in the classroom. Be proactive---do everything you can to make sure friends come. Parents dont mind.

Michelle - posted on 12/03/2009

6

3

0

Thank you all for your great responses, I appreciate it all... I will let you know what happens

Becky - posted on 12/03/2009

1

13

0

Definitely speak with the parents at the daycare as they are dropping off or picking up the kids. I have never invited my daughter's daycare friends to her birthday parties because I know they won't come. Unless you have some sort of relationship (friends) with the parents, it's highly unlikely they will show. Luckily, I have a great group of friends from college or mommies I have made friends with from daycare and my kids parties are always well attended. Good luck next time.

Katherine - posted on 12/03/2009

65,420

232

4877

I would talk to the parents!!! Just be polite, "hey are you coming on (whatever date) I need to plan accordingly. That is on THEM. You would think people had common courtesy these days, poor guy. I wouldn't say a thing until you know for sure. Let us know what happens :)

Sharon - posted on 12/03/2009

11,585

12

1314

Rebecca - it has NOTHING to with December birthdays.



It has to do with people having NO common decency these days.



It has to do with people who think having a baby shower is about getting "stuff" rather than the celebration of a well planned for baby.



It has to do with people who canNOT think about others, its the ME ME ME society.



When is the last time someone sent a thankyou card? half my kids friends don't send invitations, its word of mouth. Some invitations come with gift suggestions. Which is sort of helpful but kind of apalling too.



I always send a thank you card, barring once, when we left on vacation the next week and I forgot when we got back.



My oldest is fourteen we must have gone to 3 birthday parties a year at least for his school friends and NOT ONCE in 9 years have I gotten a thank you card for the gifts I sent. Or staying to help out when it was obvious the parent(s) were horribly outnumbered, or for the photographs i contributed to their childs party when they forgot their camera.



Nope, it hasn't got a got blamed thing to do with December or Christmas. People just suck.

Rabecca - posted on 12/03/2009

520

15

70

Been there which is funny I was just talking about this and the issues of having a child with a december bday and how hurt they can be over inattendence to there parties I dont think that parents of other kids fully understand how this can effect there self asteem of someone child becuase they just are thinking wow I cant take my child to that bday party we are tapped out from all the other people we need to think of during this time of year ( my sons bday is 4 days before christmas) and its not that they are trying to be hurtful or anything like that but they just might not understand that our kids deserve a bday too just because its so close to the holidays its not there fault last year we had a bad winter and the roads were bad and of course his birthday is on winter vacation so hes not at school to say hey see you at my party we lets just say we invited 30 kids hafd games movies cake the works and guess what no friends not even the ones that did rsvp or even the ones that lived 2 blokes away he was crushed and it took all my might to not cry right along with him I pulled it together and told him about the weather and that families go out of town and I was very thankful to celebrate with him we try to make his day very extra special because alot of people dont realize that they push his specail day under the rug knowingly or not and it hurts him beccause he gets invited to these huge parties and all these kid sare there and so many gifts he thinks why dont people care about my birthday like they do so and so which of course is not the case but to a litle kid it could feel that way I mean I try to care myself if people dont say happy birthday to me to a child that can sting alot when no one shows up

honeslty I was thinking about putting in a flyer saying no gift needed please just come and have fun maybe that would help at least that would ease the part of parents think that there kids cant go because of finaces being tight around christmas which I really think is the major issue with some parents this time of year but they dont think they are not the only ones that wont take there kid to the party and then no one does and our kids end up the ones being hurt which is not good and most parents who dont have December babies might not fully get .

Caidyn ( my son) was crushed last year when that happend and he kind of was acting this year like he didnt care if he had a bday or not which he does of course so this year we just made our plans with out a party invited just family because I dont think they need huge partiesd evry year anyway and next year it will be the big 1-0 so we will see how it goes but I woul djust really make plans to do instead of a party if no one does show like a special b-fast a movies in the after noon and maybe his fav dinner and playing together focused on his happiness that day

Michelle - posted on 12/03/2009

6

3

0

Thank you so much; I really appreciate your support and kind words.. I will warn him that only 1 of his friends from school will be there

Sharon - posted on 12/03/2009

11,585

12

1314

IT SUCKS.



We do this 3 times a year. It blows. One or two will RSVP and then half to 3/4 of the invitees will show up.



I've taken to chasing down the parents and asking them in the parking lot at the school. I get their phone numbers and call them the night before to confirm they WILL SHOW UP. I always have to much birthday cake.



Just warn him that only 1 child has RSVP'd. But won't that be fun? They'll have the party to themselves and if anyone else shows up that will just be gravy won't it? YAY!! Be perky & upbeat about it all even while you seeth(e) agrily inside.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms