our justice system?

Denise - posted on 08/11/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

33

22

3

have a step daughter who has a drunk for a mother. her step father is in jail for domestic violance. this child is a speacial needs child an my heart is breaking for her.mom moved a man in her house when her boyfriend went to jail an this so called man touched this little girl an her baby sister. her father an i called the police an child services came an talked to her an she told them what he did they removed her from her mother an said no contact with her an we had her here an she was safe. 3 days later children services decide she will be safe to go back home an gives her back to mom. this is the 5th time for different reasons they have been involved with mom so how can they put that little girl back after 3 days an say that mom can protect her.? all mom wants is child support an i am angry, hurt, sad , worried , ect......what kind of justice system do we have here? please help with any advice.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amy - posted on 08/11/2009

352

9

32

You will have to file for full custody. Now that you have these official reports of her inability to responsibly care for her child, you have a very good case. A lawyer that specializes in family law can help

This conversation has been closed to further comments

13 Comments

View replies by

Judy - posted on 05/02/2012

17

0

0

tell your husband her biological father to get a attorney and get custody of his child

Tina - posted on 08/15/2009

3

20

0

Just trying to make sure I understand your situation... You are married to the Father of this little girl, right? Any action taken will have to be taken by HIM... there is nothing legally that YOU can do on your own. And if he wants to improve his chances it helps one of two things is true: 1. If he was married to the child's mother when the child was conceived/born or 2. If he has legitimized himself before the probate court in the county where the child resides. If a DNA test was done for child support, he would still have to present that to the court along with a Petition for Legitimization.

One word of advice.... do NOT refuse to give the child back unless you have already alerted the authorities to these instances of "child abandonment". Otherwise, the mother can bring the police and the will make you give her back to the mother. Just wait until she drops the child off, after 24-36 hours you can call the police department, let them know the child is still with you and you haven't heard from her or have been unable to contact her and do not know when she plans to return. This will get CPS involved IMMEDIATELY! As far as "temporary guardianship" goes, it's handled by the probate court and this cannot be forced by either you or the child's father. The mother will have to sign, or else the "guardianship" will not be approved by the judge. If that is the case you would be going for "legal/full custody" which is handled by the juvenile court system. My advice is to get a lawyer and be prepared to fight your case against her. If you are awarded guardianship, or custody, then she will no longer be entitled to the child support. Also, no matter which one you get, the mother will be required to go to court, before a judge and present her case, proving that she is fit and able to care for the child, before she will ever have a chance of getting her back.



Sorry this is so long, but I am actually in the process of going through this myself. Right now I have "temporary guardianship" of my 2 nieces and 3 nephews. I have been raising them for 3-1/2 years now. But I had to go through all of the things you are facing now to get where I am today. And yes, several years ago my sister actually did bring the police to my home to collect one of the children when I "refused" to return him. But lucky for me, at a later time when everything was on the line, I was able to actually convince my sister to willingly sign the guardianship papers.

Good luck and God bless!

Heather - posted on 08/14/2009

3

14

0

Keep her. Refuse to give her back and file for emergency cuustody RIGHT NOW. You CAN do this, it is legal. The mom will have to fight YOU too get her back.

Kathy Jo - posted on 08/14/2009

3

4

0

Well I have read all the responses on this matter and let me tell you a little bit. The Judicial System as it is supposed to be, says they will protect children. Well that doesn't happen. I know of a woman in the Northern part of Indiana that was a step mother that got buy with murdering 2 of her step children. I also know of a woman that was a wife to a so called Dr. that was drunk on a ski doo that ran over 2 girls 9 years of age that got absolutely nothing on a sentence. I witnessed this murder of 1 of the 9 yr. old girls. Talk about PAY OFFS!!! I have no trust in the Judicial System at all! I also was involved with a family of a brother molesting his sisters & the judicial system stated they were lying, even though they were both over 16 when it was brought out into the courts. Sorry, but I'm angry at everything on that plus the Attorney's that are supposed to be there to help save the children. They are only there for statistics only!

[deleted account]

You guys should file for full custody! With all the issues she is having looks like you would have a good case and win!!! Good luck and I hope it works out for the best for you and that little girl!

Melanie - posted on 08/14/2009

11

12

0

it is not a good thing to place a child in a household with that kidn of parenting, i love my daughter and if anything ever happened to her i would go bulistic! me and my husband (her father) are so protective that she didnt have her first fall untill about 17 months, i get scared over a moskito bite! lol. but i know the abusive house hold style as i grew up in one myself, such as i havent talked to my father in 3 years since he pushed me down a staircase knowing i was pregnant, and tipped my chair backwards onto the floor, also years of being punched and hit, and kicked in the stomach and tortured to the point where i used to climb out a second story window, my dad was a very abusive man and now its been 3 years im married and he wasnt invited to my wedding and has never met my daughter, so i am glad to say take a child from a harmful sittation as quick as possible! we need more people to be responsible and to take action on these harmful situations

Tiffany - posted on 08/11/2009

194

1

24

i so agree with jenn m. above. keep very good records, and if possible have a witness present when on the phone. Get your butt to a lawyer asap, and dont wait for them to get back to you. set up an appt asap. Both kids need to be removed from that house/ parent PERIOD!

~Jennifer - posted on 08/11/2009

4,164

61

365

Keep records of when you speak to her, how long it takes her to come get the child, etc.



In the mean time, go to the local police station and explain the situation, or to the court house and explain it to someone there, or even call Social Services and explain to them what has happened and that the mother 'had things to do' and won't be picking her child up for 'a few days'. You may be able to be granted temporary custody in the best interests of the child, or to file a restraining order against the 'mom' on the child's behalf. Don't sit and wait for this 'mom' to come get her. Use the time you have to gain temporary custody of the child legally, and then that will give you what you need to file for permanent custody at a later date.

Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out in your favor!

Denise - posted on 08/11/2009

33

22

3

i called a lawyer an waiting for him to get back to me. the mother did not even call to tell me she could have her. the social worker lady did an after waiting 2 hrs. to hear from the mother i called her an she said she would get her in a couple of days she had things to do an then didn't even ask to speak to her daughter. the first thing i would have done would have been to get her but no not this mother.

Carline - posted on 08/11/2009

10

32

0

The justice system now just hire people straight from kindergarten with no training. The father needs to fight to get his daughter out of that situation. How can mom protect her when mom let it happen in the first place. Mom & new boyfriend should both be in jail. Hire a family lawyer & fight to get your stepdaughter back. I hope everything turns out fine for you. Hire a lawyer as soon as possible. Don't let anything else happen to the child. God knows what the mother will bring in next.

Carline

Diane - posted on 08/11/2009

21

6

1

If you have the means to care for the girl and are so worried have your husband file for full custody. After 5 times of involvement with social services this probably should have been already.

Lydia - posted on 08/11/2009

1,723

21

164

personally - I would be discussing this with any legal mind that would spare five minutes to give me my options and my chances of success. I would also be finding a police officer to find out what I could be doing to try and keep the girl safe. If she has been found to be repeatedly negligent in her duties as a mother and child services were returning her into her care after each incident I would also question whether I could legally challenge their decision to return her to the mother. Realistically there may be little else you can do to help her other than keeping an eye out for her welfare (document everything in case you need it in the future) and possibly find a way of providing child support without giving her cash (pay for clothing/schooling/extracurricular activities etc instead) without cash incentive she may let the girl move in with you permanently?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms