Martha - posted on 12/08/2012 ( 276 moms have responded )
One year ago I had a 16 year old son that I could not be more proud of. I felt secure that my husband and I had done the right things and taught him right from wrong. We were a very happy family who enjoyed spending lots of time together, we loved vacations, and camping. My husband was involved in scouts with him and they spent time hunting together. He was a very good student, was responsible and hard working. He is a very talented musician and has many opportunities for college scholarships. He was active in church with our family, and has achieved the rank of Eagle Scout. My husband and I have been active and involved in supporting any sport or activity he has taken an interest in. I can't say enough about his father has always been there for him giving him love and support and time. We basically had a very happy family, and a child on his way to becoming a great man.
Then he met a girl......14 yrs old, not from a stable home, no goals. Very early in this relationship we noticed warning signs. She was very controlling and cut herself. She insisted on constant contact, mostly texting, even all throughout the school day, hundreds of texts. If he fell asleep before she was done talking there would be 25 or more angry and threatening ones waiting for him in the morning. We tried to talk to our son about this. We had always had a very open line of communication with him and thought we could give some good advice. We told him we were worried and that we loved him.
We saw his behavior change very quickly. He began lying to us and sneaking around. When we confronted him about this behavior he began to threaten to quit school and run away. On occasion becoming violent, he once broke my bedroom door down to get the keys to my car. Another time he hit his head against the floor until he cut himself. At first because of the drastic behavior changes we suspected drug use. We had him tested for drugs, actually many times now, but nothing has ever showed up and we have not found any physical evidence. We have taken him to counseling and to doctors. He has gone through intensive outpatient therapy. We are currently seeing a combination of therapists, family counselors, and doctors about once a week.He is on medication for depression.
He has always been a great student and school has been easy for him. He is in his senior year and seems to be out to sabatoge himself. We are not sure that this former 4.0 student will graduate from high school. It seems as though he has lost all communication skills he once had and only uses threats now. My son no longer has friends, all of his time is spent with his girlfriend, she demands it. he has become unbelievably disrespectful to my husband and i, and when my husband is not around it is not uncommon for him to bully me.
My husband and I are tired and sad. We feel like we have been fighting for our sons life over the past 10 months. We miss our son so much, we feel like he is gone. I feel like he has no sense of reality and something is very wrong. And now today we found out that his 15 yr old girlfriend is pregnant. I do not believe these two are able to function in any way as parents. I am very concerned that the future of an innocent child is in the hands of a very troubled child.
Edit: Just to clarify. The girlfriend is NOT pregnant it was a manipulative lie.