Overactive 4 year old

Heather - posted on 12/05/2009 ( 23 moms have responded )

3

14

0

MY 4 year old son is having problems in Pre K. He attends 2 days a week and has a hard time focusing and calming his at school and at home. Teacher is thinking he may have ADD but Dr. thinks it is too early to tell. Any ideas on how to help him learn to slow down a bit. He kinda runs around like Tigger and should be more like Pooh :-)

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rita - posted on 12/16/2009

2

23

0

FYI it's not too early to test for ADHD. There's a great web-site called ADDitude.com that gives general descriptions of just about every "disorder" there is. Teacher's are not qualified to diagnose. Keep her/him on your side b/c they're the ones working w/your child and treating them good or bad. The teacher will fill out a "Conner's Teaching Rating Scale" given to you by your doctor b4 a diagnosis can be certain. The general rule is that the behavior has lasted more than 6 months and you've ruled out food allergies. Good luck!

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

23 Comments

View replies by

Sheny - posted on 08/30/2012

1

0

0

You may have heard of this by now, but I encourage you to look into Sensory Disorders. There is therapy available and it does help understand and manage the behaviors better...

Darlene - posted on 12/07/2009

19

12

0

Routine...children need a set routine and activities to occupy the mind. Also I would watch his diet see if anything triggers the overactiveness. Does his school have a behavior specialist? Sometimes they have simple ideas to help. Also 4 year olds are supposed to be active and don't always know how to express themselves. hope this helps

Cristi - posted on 12/06/2009

3

18

0

Heather - My 19 year old son was the same way. I did have him tested in kindergarten (the school told me I had no choice because he was in the principal's office at least once a week). We found he wasn't ADD/ADHD. In fact he wasn't even close. Turns out he's very intelligent and was really bored with what they were teaching him. Because they don't offer advanced placement in our district until 2nd grade, his K and 1st teacher gave him little jobs to do if he got restless. We also got him involved in sports and music, which really helped.

On the other hand, his lifelong best friend was also very active and tested positive for ADHD in 1st grade. As a teenager he once told me that when he went off his meds he couldn't focus on anything (he couldn't even sit still to play a video game) and he was glad his parents had him tested early on. So I say get him tested when you can but do it with a reputable psychologist (which is what we did) who specializes in ADHD (not a teacher!) and decide if you want to try diet or meds (or possibly both) if you find he is ADHD. If he's not, consider that you may have one smart little cookie on your hands who just needs to be challenged!

[deleted account]

Wow this is a very touchy and controversial topic.everyone has there own opinions p the whole add/adhd.no one should make you feel like their beliefs are better than others.you still have a lot of stuff to evaluate before you take anyones advise.I go by the facts not just what people think of assume.every child is different and developes at different rates.I have adhd and felt like I suffered big time growing up.now my son has it.I never believed in the whole add bullshit because I dealt with it my whole life w/o meds until I had a child.I paid over 4,000 dollars on a neurologist all the way in California to do a brain scan on me and my boy just to see myself if this crap was true.this is a brain disfunction and scanning machines don't lie.when I saw the images it all out it all in prospectives.its like not giving a cancer patient chemotherapy:you can't die from add but you live a much harder life for yourself.If my parents were involved in my life and paid attention to my studies and all the trouble I went thru I could've done so many other things.I refuse to make my son suffer like I did.the day my son asked me if he could have a new brain....I felt his pain.so we both tried medication together andCant believe our lives and how amazing it is!his colors came flying pot of him!his energy was channeled perfectly in school, sports and everything he applied himself to!he's still the same boy but now he can follow thru with games, projects and reading books!everyone has there own beliefs and because I have it and lived 32 years w/o meds?I wish I could go back and start over.I'm giving my boy the chance to do his best without too many struggles.its like breathing without air now:I read novels now and I am so active with no more fustration!

Stefanie - posted on 12/06/2009

364

13

43

I would question any Dr. who assumes ADD/ADHD at such a young age. Your child is too young to know that. All kids this age are hyper. It's more likely that he just learns differently from the majority of kids. Give him more hands off, interactive stuff. He'll like that.

[deleted account]

I believe most add/adhd diagnosis are B.S. Your 4 year old is probably perfectly normal. 4 year olds are not quiet and do not sit still. They are 4!! I would politely explain to his teacher that I was not medicating him and to drop it. It would be like suggesting to her that since screaming normal children bother her, that she get on medication for anxiety. It's the nature of the beast! Please be wary. Honestly I don't really believe in medication for either of these. I believe some teachers and parents set their standards a bit too high. Kids run and scream. Thats normal. My brother was diagnosed add and adhd and put on meds. He developed an extreme anger problem, until he came off the medication, and it stunted his growth. He fiinally refused to take them any longer, and started growing around 14. I was diagnosed adhd..I refused medication altogether. I cut off television, stopped trying to study on an empty stomach, and developed study techniques. In high school I would stand at the back of the classroom and pace. It was easier to pay attention if I was moving. I don't believe I'm sick or have a condition. I just have a high energy level. Up until here recently I was running 6 mi a week, working with weights 3 times weekly, while having a full time career and being a mom and wife..My "sickness" has helped me accomplish many things in life.

[deleted account]

Please please don't wait to have your son evaluated.my son has adhd and if I could go back when my motherly instinct or went with my gut feeling that I knew when he was 3 something wasn't rite.you will prevent many issues he and you yourself as his mother will have to endure.adhd is a self image destroyer.he is old enough to hear from everone around him constently hearing the word stop or why can't you sit still for one minute?he will eventually believe he is a bad boy and that that's just the way he use.when teachers get involved that just validates what you already know about your son.it is very difficult when they have add or adhd because they just can't.do some research of your own on the internet, read up on it before you go
And have him evaluated so your already informed on the disorder.its a disfunction of the right front side of the brain that controls impulse, focus, memory, concentration, motor skills and adrenaline.they do things to seek conflict like you telling at him or banging into things like running around all day, swinging his legs in his chair.they can't control they're impulses and don't know they're even doing it until you say something.when they get older they just assume they're trouble makers or mean.parent teacher confrences you will fear.don't ruin his opportunity to be who he's supposed to be if his berain functioned rite.its like IdA muscle in your arm didn't work...then your arm wouldn't work rite.the brain is also a muscle and part of it isn't working rite:that's what medication does, it wakes up that part of the brain that isn't functioning rite.I knew at 3 my son had it but was against meds so I tried every other option, diet, channeling his energy with sports and activities.it wasn't till I realized my son was slowly being eliminated from play dates because he was too rough or hard to watch.then came school.I cried everynight asking for help.I read books,researched the internet talk to other mothers and finally when he was 6 I couldn't Handel it anymore.I looked at the evaluation like just another option to try?so of course 4 out of 5 doctors diagnosed him with it.so I tested it myself by taking him to a coffee shop and we both got mochas.with in 25 miniutes he was the calmest if ever seen him?it was the coffee because coffee if a stimulant.I was stunned.try it?get him a mocha and see how he does?if he slows down, calms down or even fall asleep?then you know.I love my son more than anything and needed to do what was best for him not me.give him sometning to color and set a timer.see how long he stays engaged. Watch his attention span of tell him s short story and a few minutes later ask him to tell you the story back to you and see how much of it he actually remembers?does he go to bed ok?I could go on and on.I know how tired and overwhelming it can be mothering a boy with adhd.good luck and follow your gut.a mothers instinct is never wrong so don't fight again it.

Danielle - posted on 12/06/2009

3

0

0

Oh man, that's a rough spot. I do think that you should pursue help if the teacher is saying that he may be ADD. They will be able to refer you to counselors and psychologists who can help you with every-day kinds of things that will help him focus and make learning easier for him.

Even if he does have ADD, it is a great part of who he was made to be. A part of his story. He may not need to be like Pooh! And that's actually a really great thing! Find ways to encourage who he is, but still teach him how to participate without being a distraction.

For children with ADD, being able to count on a schedule is really important. The ability to predict what's next gives them security and helps calm a lot of that extra energy. Keep him moving when he's at home, doing constructive things, contributing to your family with little things like setting the table, folding towels, maybe raking leaves.

Best of luck! I have a learning disabled child in my home and as challenging as it's been, she's been such a blessing!

Becky - posted on 12/06/2009

9

1

4

There are a lot of REALLY good ideas here. My over active 4 year old also had trouble in pre-K. It was the first time he was in a care situation where there were scheduled sit down and work and sit down and listen activities. Very different from the home daycare he'd been in where he could play what he wanted when he wanted. Our solutions? Consistent discipline at school (time outs were used) and home, practicing sit and listen behavior at library storytimes and puppetshows, lots of praise from getting stuff right and exercise him 2x/day like a puppy. I also recommend cutting back on junk food (I'll admit we did use it as a reward!)

Here we are 1 year later and he's doing MUCH better in K! He is not perfect but in a quarter and half of school he's only had 3 time outs! In pre-K he might have 3 in a day! Be consistent, make sure he eats well, sleeps well and exercises. Good Luck!

Christy - posted on 12/06/2009

1

14

0

Heather, your post caught my eye because I too had a "very active" four year old...4 was a very hard year for our son and our family. If you get the diagnosis of ADHD dr.s will want to put him on meds. Even at 4 they will not blink and eye to suggest medication. I changed my son's diet and found unbelievable results. Enough that his PS teachers were asking what meds I had put him on! I first evaluated how much sugar I was putting in him and cut it back drastically. Then I experimented for 2 weeks with taking dairy out of his diet, then wheat. Once I took wheat out of his diet the "out of control"edness we had been experiencing disappeared. He is 9 now and still on the diet. I'm lucky because I started so early he is not bothered by the diet change. I make his own bread and cookies and we eat rice pasta. It's really easy once you try it, it's just the idea that can be overwhelming. Good luck!

Meigann - posted on 12/06/2009

5

3

2

Boys tend to have more energy than girls. I have a 6 year old boy and a five year old girl and there are significant differences between the energy levels. My son had a few issues sitting still the first two weeks of kindergarten. One thing I suggest is giving your son time to run off energy every day or getting him involved in sports. My son does both and has improved quite a bit. You can also limit sugar in his diet and teach him breathing techniques. For example I make my son take 3 deep breaths before walking into school every morning to reduce his anxiety and help him focus.

Jacinta - posted on 12/06/2009

15

22

0

Having a routine helps ,being calm yourself helps.I used a fish oil capsule which helped a bit .cutting out all the artificial colours, flavours and preservatives was the hardest but has had the most noticable effect. goood luck to you

Jessica - posted on 12/06/2009

621

25

79

Pre K may not be challenging enough for him. My son will be 4 in March and is a very active child. With my son I notice he just gets bored easily with things.

Daphne - posted on 12/06/2009

1

1

0

My 3 yr old use to be horrible all the time.. I did the autism diet for her strict for 2 months and now I just keep her off high fructose corn syrup and food color additives. I try to buy all natural foods now even for the whole family. It has been night and day.. once on the diet she showed results right away. She is so happy now, like a normal 3 yr old. I was totallly against putting her on drugs..I didnt want to take away all of the other great things that come with hyper active kids. Such as her creativity, funny playful nature, intelligence, goofy ideas..etc.

Jan - posted on 12/05/2009

1

1

0

He's 4 he should be "over" active. He needs to run,run,run. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at 9. I didn't accept that. So I just kept doing what I could to keep him focused and as it turns out "oops" at 15 it turns out it's a learning thing. Don't be quick to accept any diagnosis. Kids are too often labeled when they are just fine!

Cynthia - posted on 12/05/2009

29

2

1

Hi Dear your child may be bored, because he needs to be active try testing him what he like best may be he likes computer or a game give him rewards when he have a good day u don;t depend on the teacher also if he is not tested for Adhd she can't label him she has to find way's to help him don;t take no for an answer also avoid all sugar in his diet find a good vitamin and see a child specialist may be he is very active so he needs to be engage in a scheduel from minutes to 1/2 an hr. i work with 4 Adhd and some days is very differcult but u have to be gentle, loveing rewarding, and understanding they can control u the way they wan't u so be careful don't let the teacher dictate you have all rights, remember his diet is very important with his progress so cut all chocolate, sugar , and rewards untill the day ends good luck hope this is of help.

Cynthia - posted on 12/05/2009

29

2

1

Quoting heather:

Overactive 4 year old

MY 4 year old son is having problems in Pre K. He attends 2 days a week and has a hard time focusing and calming his at school and at home. Teacher is thinking he may have ADD but Dr. thinks it is too early to tell. Any ideas on how to help him learn to slow down a bit. He kinda runs around like Tigger and should be more like Pooh :-)


 

Daphne - posted on 12/05/2009

40

1

2

Most professionals believe it is too early to tell. You should wait till he enters school full time. For now, you could begin by ruling out any other issues, check vision and hearing, try to find a pattern of the behavior. 1. When does it happen?Where does it happen? What type of behavior modification(how do you and teacher deal with his behavior)??
Other things to think about:
1. Is there ADHD in the family. ADHD is very hereditary. It is more hereditary than hair or eye color.
2. Are there changes at home?
3. Most 4 year olds are very active? Look on internet on what is normal, you may find it is very normal behavior.
If you find in a year or two that it continues and it affects his learning, you can ask that he be tested by the school. They can do it at no charge to you as long as there is proof it gets in the way of his education. Take good notes and document teachers comments. You have lots of rights that you may not know about and the school will not likely educate you on them until you ask.
If it is ADHD, don't worry. You will need to make some modifications in the class and home that will help him succeed like the bright little kid he is. Don't be afraid of the "label". Many successful adults have ADHD. Make sure to read up on the topic from respected professionals in the field.

I hope my experience as a social worker and a mom helps you out. Let me know if you have any other questions!

Margaret - posted on 12/05/2009

3

1

0

There are biomedical treatments that can help. Treating kids with meds is a bad idea. You can check out a video on PBS that explains this. I would suggest seeing a ND or DAN doctor.

Heather - posted on 12/05/2009

1

15

0

I would get a second opinion. Not getting him diagnosed early can possible affect his learning and development. Teachers know what they are talking about they spend alot of time with all kinds of kids and they can see the signs.

Desiree - posted on 12/05/2009

22

52

12

My 4 year old is the same way and the doctors are wanting him tested for ADD/ADHD. They said that he is old enough to be tested. I would consider getting a second opinion.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms