Overreacting or legitimate

S - posted on 09/12/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Yesterday morning I had to go to work. Hubby was at work as well so we had to find a sitter. My daughter's nanny is amazing but expensive, I was telling a friend about it which resulted in his volunteering to watch her instead (paid). *this is a highly trusted family friend* He was supposed to watch her at my house but he wanted us to bring her to his house. I started to agree but then I had to think about it. My house is set up for an infant, her toys, bed, changing table, etc are readily available. I know it's clean here and I know she doesn't have to worry about rolling around in dog hair.



His children are all grown, he has two dogs and none of the things she would need during the day. He doesn't know about her development exercises, defrosting and heating her milk properly or how to put her down for a nap successfully. Due to his unwillingness to come here so I could show him how to care for her (she is a micropreemie, she's 10 months but only 13lbs) I cancelled.



I felt kind of bad but I would rather hurt his feelings than have her in a potentially bad situation. I ended up calling her nanny after all.



Was I wrong? Am I overreacting or are these legitimate concerns? I am aware that I acted too hastily in agreeing to let him watch her, that is a mistake I will not make again. I would rather her be with someone who already knows what she needs, and how to care for her rather than drop her off with someone I would have to give an impromptu tutorial.



Do you have any friends you would not let watch your children? How do you handle it when they keep volunteering to keep them? I have a neighbor whose really sweet who wants to keep her too but she smokes and considering her prematurity and lung disease, I think not.



What are your thoughts?

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10 Comments

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Julie - posted on 09/17/2010

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NO! you are not over reacting. end of discusion.

Jenny - posted on 09/17/2010

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Nope I don't think you over reacted at all. I would of done the same thing as you. There is nothing wrong with protecting your child.

S - posted on 09/17/2010

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bump

Lisa - posted on 09/12/2010

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I think you did what u feel is best. Just tell heim that u are greatful for his offer but u feel it will put a strain on ur friendship as u feel guilty as if u are taking advantage of him. Or something like that to make it feel like it's not him and u don't trust him.

JuLeah - posted on 09/12/2010

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This is your kid. She has special needs. He was showing you and her needs would not be addressed in his care. It was wise to back out. Better his feelings be hurt then your child be hurt.
I had friend who I love very much. I watched their kids, they didn't watch mine

Shannon - posted on 09/12/2010

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you didn't over react at all... maybe a thought could be he could come over one day and see/interact with how you care for her so that, like one of the other moms suggested, he could see it would be better there versus his house and also what things are different with your child versus how it was with his children...

Tracy - posted on 09/12/2010

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He's not set up for an infant at his house, you are. I think you did the right thing. You may want to invite him for dinner one night just for fun, but also so he can SEE that coming to your house would have made his very generous offer to watch her 10000x easier. When mine were tiny, I only allowed 2 people to watch them, at my house only. Now they're 8 and 3, you want 'em? Take them, PLEASE! LOL! Kidding, when they're with me, I miss everything that's not kid friendly. (their father and I share custody) You did what your mom instincts said to, trust that but do make sure your friend knows he's very appreciated.

Kelina - posted on 09/12/2010

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I think you're doing what you see is best for your daughter and i don't think it's an overreaction at all. I have friends and family i don't allow to watch my son for the same reasons and he has no health problems like your daughter does. It sounds like your making good decisions don't second guess yourself!

Pip - posted on 09/12/2010

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Sounds like your a thoughtful, responsible mother, you've covered all bases and chosen accordingly. Well done :)

Teresa - posted on 09/12/2010

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I think you reacted fine. Personally I think it's better for young children to be able to be watched in their own home whenever possible for the same concerns that you had/have. I wouldn't have a smoker watch my kids (except my ex, but that's not my choice), but none of my friends smoke anyway.