Pacifier over 1

Jenny - posted on 08/17/2010

You are being too hard on yourself. Lots of babies are still attached to the paci after one. My son uses it some night to get to sleep. He is 13 months. I think your slow weaning sounds like a great way to do it.

Bridget - posted on 08/17/2010

I dont like seeing a child over 2 in public with a paci. The Doctors say that its fine til age 3 or 4. My son had one (my daughter has hers as well) and he was 2 1/2 when we broke him. With my daugther when she is a year old we will take it away for the most part expect for nap and bedtime. I hope by 1 she will be off it. My mother in law thinks it nasty and has always from day 1 gripped at me for letting my daugter have it..

Carla - posted on 08/17/2010

Mother as usual you will feel some sense of guilt when taking something away from you child however the truth is all of these things of comfort will have to go so he can continue on his path of growth and development. Certainly he will not take the paci to college but you mom may develop a close and personal relationship with an Orthodontist! My son named his paci. I now have assigned the same name to his orthodontic bill! Slow but be sure mom both must some how GO! Hugs for the two of you! C

Jennifer - posted on 08/17/2010

I think that sounds like a good plan. I think so often people try to make their kids grow up too quickly. My stepfather was saying my daughter should stop sucking her thumb before she was even 1yr. It is a fact that sucking a pacifier or thumb is a comfort technique. My daughter is almost 21 months and still sucking her thumb. I am not worried about it. She is still a baby and this comforts herself in this fashion. I figure sometime between age 2 and 3 she will understand enough that I can start to talk to her about it and hopefully have her quit by age 3. But I am not worried. I sucked my thumb until I was around 4 or so and quit before I was in school. I also had no issues with my teeth from doing so, so I don't believe it can cause issues. People need to stop expecting kids to be anything but what they are, kids. Yes, we need to guide them and teach them, but some things are ridiculous to make a huge issue of at such a young age. Best of luck with your decision and plan. :)

Jessie - posted on 08/17/2010

sounds like a plan to me! my son is 13 months and in theory he is only supposed to get the paci at nap and bedtime. but sometimes he just needs something to soothe him and I cant be stopping to nurse him ALL the time. if he isn't feeling well I let him have it whenever but like I said, it's mostly for sleeping. If he wants to sleep with it til he is 4 then so be it but I doubt that will happen. sometimes he doesnt even use it but its there if he wants.

Karen - posted on 08/17/2010

At 11months it is still ok, for a dummy ! they are still teething and need it in my opinion. As for the looks its your child and your rules !! ive seen some kids that look 4yrs old and still a dummy ! My 1st son was 2 and a half when he gave it up, and now with the second son he is 17mths and still one, and im not worried at all... i wouldnt recomend taking it off one child before another one comes, unless they do it them self, there is 2yrs and 3mths between my sons and some people told me to say to the older on , give it to to they baby !! WTF do you and him to resent him for taking his dummy !! its a process and takes time , lets not lie and great relief sometimes. hope this has helped you ... Karen

Erica - posted on 08/17/2010

I can't remember what I did with my son, but I do remember that he still had it during stressful times when he was 2. My daughter never used one but still chews on a blankie a night or when she gets hurt. It otherwise stays in her room unless I anticipate us having a long day away from home. She is almost 5 and I don't feel like a bad parent in anyway nor do I care if we get any looks. As with everything else, it will be uncool for her to go to college with a blankie hanging out of her mouth, so I'm not too worried. Do what is best for you and your child. Every parent is different and every kiddo is different. They are only this age once and some kids, like my daughter more than her brother, just need a little more comfort at this point in their lives. Hth

Lisa - posted on 08/17/2010

My daughter is 15m and I was dead set on taking the "binky" away when she was 9months as per the books I read. Needless to say she won that battle. Now that she's started to enjoy stuffed animals and more importantly her sippy straw cup she likes it and I am ready to be firm about the binky. Right now she only has it when it's nap time or she's fussing when we're out and about. My major issue is her DaDa giving it to her. They both need to learn as do I that we can all get by without it...she was binky free one night last week and "someone" gave it to her when she woke up!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhh. Oh well, try try again...

Danyell - posted on 08/17/2010

My oldest was 6 months old when she gave up her paci (on her own) she will need braces. My twins did not want to give them up. When they started pre school they were not allowed to have them in school. I put them in their back pack just in case. They left it in there most of the time, it just helped to know that it was their if they needed it. Eventually they realised they didn't need it. The dentist has not said anything about braces for them yet and they are 9 now.

Garen - posted on 08/17/2010

It sounds to me like you've got a great plan. My best advice is stick to your plan. My daughter just turned 4 and knows the paci fairy comes this week! ;) Just I wish I'd done it so much sooner. It gets more difficult as they get older I think. We'd almost phased it out when my husband deployed to Afghanistan for a year and we found ourselves at square one. But in hindsight I wish I'd stuck with it then. Sensing a theme here? LOL! ;) Oh one last thing though - do it for you and your son because you feel it's the right time. Don't feel pressured by others or their "dirty looks". It is your decision and only you know when its time. Be strong I'm sure you're a great mom. Just look at all the planning you're putting into making the best decision for your son. :)

Julie - posted on 08/17/2010

Let him have it

Claudia - posted on 08/17/2010

I have heard that their paci can actually be helpfull when ear infections are constantly there, I'm living proof of that, my daughter left her paci for about 3 months and during that time she had ear infection after ear infection. The pediatrician had already suggested the tubes as the next step, somehow she found an old pacifier from god knows where, and next thing you know she was hooked to it again like before, at the time, I did not worry that much, but as they days were passing by, I started wondering how we were going to wean her off the paci again, but I noticed that her ear infections started decreasing until she had none. Althought I never discussed this with her pediatrician, I can assure you if it was not the paci, it sure did feel like it was. Don't worry about what others have to say, it's your issue, it's your child, and you do whatever your heart tells you it's right, it never fails.

Kathy - posted on 08/17/2010

My oldest daughter was 3 before she gave up her pacifier, and it did not harm her psychologically or cause her to have buck teeth. (She is 10 now). Don't let people pressure you. Do what is right for your child and your family. With that said, we simply told our daughter she could pick out something at the store and we would trade in her paci for that item. She chose gold fish. We went to the store, picked out her fish and supplies, explained to the cashier what we were doing (she and I gave the cashier the bag of pacis and left her daddy behind to pay. Whenever she asked for her pace after that we could remind her that she had traded them in for her fish. There were no tears or tantrums. She accepted that she had made a decision and the paci was gone. It worked beautifully for us. Good luck!

Linda - posted on 08/17/2010

My daughter didnt have a pacifier but she sucked her thumb constantly till she was 3. Now the roof of her mouth is deformed permanently as well as her jaw.

Janice - posted on 08/17/2010

Each child is different. Neither of mine had one but I know of some who still have them at 5 years old. No one at school sees them though.

Brandy - posted on 08/17/2010

First of all I would like to tell you that you are definitely NOT a bad Mom at all b/c of this! Don't let anyone tell you that.

I have to say that I think you have a really good plan going. My daughter is almost 19 months old, and she still uses a paci. BUT ONLY in her crib at MY house. She is able to go spend the night someplace without it. For some reason she is attached to it and feel comfortable with it at home. She also knows very well that she is NOT allowed to take it out of her bed. So only if she goes to sleep in her bed does she get it. And she is totally fine with that. My next phase is to make it disappear the next time she has a sleep over. It won't be in her bed... and we'll see how that goes. You don't want you child to have it forever... but you also don't want to traumatize you child over her/his comfort item! AND my worst fear was always that she would want to suck her thumb. I can handle the paci way better than a thumg issue. You're doing great! :-)

Janis - posted on 08/17/2010

I never did use a pacifier on my daughter........30 years ago. I never did like them and she didn't either. Start weaing now.

Tara - posted on 08/17/2010

Hi, my daughter is 13 months and I asked her pediatrician at the 1 year check up what he thought about still using a pacifier. I should say that I highly respect her pediatrician...he rocks! ANYWAY, he suggested to keep it until 2 unless she wants to get rid of it. His reasoning was that it's terribly hard to get rid of thumb-sucking, and studies show that if kids still need to suck, they will turn to their thumbs or fingers until around age 2 if you take away the pacifier. After that point, they rarely do. (I'm sure there are many kids who don't, but it's still a risk). He also mentioned that it shouldn't harm her teeth until after age 3 or so. We've always kept it to the crib (or very long car trips). I've heard other moms mention that they stopped the pacifier by cutting off the end of it. That helped their kids not want it anymore because they don't get the suction from it. I might try that when it's time. Good luck!

Gloria - posted on 08/17/2010

A friend of mine, took her dgtr's away, before 15 mos. If that helps.

Emeline - posted on 08/17/2010

Maybe others have already said this, but: who cares what other people think?! You know your child best! Besides, on most things, it's good to let your child just grow out of things or transition on their own. My 19 month old son still has a paci, but mainly for night time sleeping. Funny enough, he used to be supremely obsessed with his paci, but now he likes to take it out on his own and hide it for safe keeping (like a dog hides a bone!) and then just forgets about it. We figure that when he's ready, he'll give it up on his own. Of course, if we need to, when he's more developmentally able to reason and understand us at around 2 years old, we'll try the negotiation method that others have used: "Give up your paci and share it with other babies that might need it more than you" ... then we pretend to ship it off to other babies and he's happier knowing that he helped another baby and he made the decision to give up his paci on his own. I don't think it hurts your child to have a paci and it certainly won't hurt you knowing that your child is happy.

Heather - posted on 08/17/2010

I am on child #3 with a paci. She is 7 mons. old now. When my other 2 turned one we started using it to sleep only. So it could leave the house if we would be somewhere during nap time or expected them to sleep in the car to or from somewhere. Other times I would not pick them up out of the crib until the paci was set in the bed. As the got older I told them to set it down and they learned quickly. My son was done with his by 2 maybe even 18 months. My daughter however, had her't till almost 4. If they are not walking around with it in there mouth all the time it is not going to effect speech and at night we would pull it out (if it had not fallen out already) before we went to bed and just left it near her so she could find it if she woke up. The dentist said her teeth were fine (Both my husband and I had braces so she is likely going to have them too either way) and that she is not going to take it to Kindgergarden with her so it was fine. Some kids need them more then others. My daughter used hers more when her molars came in, or she was sick. Don't rush it if he needs it. Just limit it. The final trick to get my daughter to give it up was we would buy her the big girl boster seat when she slept with out it. Good luck. It is much better then a thumb sucker, much harder to take away. :)

Erika - posted on 08/17/2010

becca is 15mo, she's had a binky since she was 3mo. and she is still very attached to it...it's a wubbanub (www.wubbanub.com); hers is a plush horse attached to a soothie pacifier. we/she calls it neigh. i am trying to limit its use to bedtime/naps/car rides (cuz she almost always falls asleep), and when she's sick or hurt, just to make her feel better temporarily, then he gets put away when she goes back to playing. she starts daycare next week, and i'm going to allow the staff to give her neigh when she naps and for soothing, whether it's separation at dropoff or if she gets hurt. i really don't see a problem with her using it for soothing, but i don't like her using it just because. with neigh in her mouth, she won't verbalize, and at this age when she's learning to say more words and how to express herself, i don't want neigh getting in the way. when she's ready to give it up, she will. i am not going to push it.

Nanette - posted on 08/17/2010

I let my 3 kids keep their paci til one then it was cold turkey and no more. They cried two nights and were fine after that. They have to know they aren't going to have it again so if you keep giving it to them and taking it away to me it is harder. I even weaned my day care kids from them which made it easier when the parents got home.

Tiffany - posted on 08/17/2010

When my daughter turned one, the day after her birthday we threw away her paci, both of them. She looked for it all day, no crying though, but she was looking hard. That night when she hadnt found it, she was still just fine. She went to bed in her toddler bed(we had already gotten rid of the crib) and woke up the next day happy as she was with the paci.

In my opinion, everyones kid is different. It depends on the importance you put on the use of the paci from the beginning. If you give them a paci for every little cry and to sleep, and to keep them quiet or for whatever else, they will have it longer. Especially if you are a sucker for crying. With our daughter we had a easy time just getting rid of it at 1years old. For us that is old enough. But again, everyones kid is different.

Judy - posted on 08/17/2010

no it does not...but when he is a year old tell him he can only have it at nap times....maybe help get him to take a nap...

Clarissa - posted on 08/17/2010

Our son had his till 3 but after 1 was only at bed/nap time or in the car... he had terrible problems with car seats... when he was about 18 months he started to like to through them out the car window at first we just replaced them but by two he was thinking it was funny. No mind you he is advanced for his age but we sat him down explained he only had about 6 pacis left and we were not buying any more that when they were gone that was it... it was about 2 months till he turned three he was starting to get fussy in the car and I explained that this was his last one if it went out the window there were not more gone gone...he held on to it for about an hour then out the window it went... the funny thing he never asked for it after that... :)

Alison - posted on 08/17/2010

I have 5 children (including a stepson) 4 of whom use(d) a paci. My stepson was almost 3 when my husband and I got married and not only was he still on the paci but a bottle too. He only seemed to want them both out of habit so we "lost" them when he was at our house and he did fine. My son however was a huge paci fanatic and due to me being pregnant again I took him off the paci the day he turned one. He screamed for hours for days on end and we were both miserable. Then at 18 mo when his sister was born he took her paci's and used them so we went thru all that for nothing. My 2nd daughter used them until she was 3 1/2 and the thing that convinced her was I told her she couldn't go to preschool while she had a paci. She finally decided on her own that preschool was more important then her paci (I tried taking it away but she did the screaming thing too and I WASN"T doing that again). My youngest is now 3 and still on the paci. A couple weeks ago I made it a bedtime naptime only thing and she is still having a hard time dealing with it but we don't have the screaming all the time like the others. Bottom line is it's your child and you can only do what you think is best for your child. I'm one of those people that I don't give a care what other people say or if they give me looks or whatever. No one is in my shoes raising MY children and what works for someone else's children doesn't mean it will work for mine. I think your plan sounds good for your family and that's what important

Becky - posted on 08/17/2010

I have 3 kids and both of my girls loved their binkies and I am not about to make the last on give hers up. She just turned 2 and she loves it. They will not have one when they are in kindergarden so don't listen to the other people that make you feel like a "bad mom". My first daughter was about 3 when she gave me her last binkie for a apple with some choc. sauce. Keep your chin up and believe that you are a good and loving mom!!!

Ria - posted on 08/17/2010

Agree! :)

Stacie - posted on 08/17/2010

Don't be so hard on yourself!!!! My oldest has a paci and my youngest sucks his thumb. I got the looks too, even from my own mom who, when he was 2 was embarrassed that he had it in public. My husband was concerned about his teeth... and all the comments and looks from people so we started then only letting him have it whenever he went to sleep (naps and night). Sometime around 3 1/2 both boys were really sick and and the pacis had to be sterilized we discovered that they had holes in them. Well, at that point we just told him that they were tired and had to go bye bye. He helped up throw them in the trash. We talked very lovingly and civil about it because he had a real emotional attachment to it. He too has a blankie so we reminded him that blankie was still around to keep him company. Sporadically he talked about his "Pacis" for months and we always reminded him that it was just tired and had to go. He's almost 5 now and we haven't heard about that in along time now. I agree that you should let your child lead it some because most children aren't just holding on to them for no reason. However, don't let stares be a reason that you make him stop. People shouldn't be so judgmental, they aren't you or your son.

Good luck!

Ria - posted on 08/17/2010

Ok, I have 4 children......8,7,5,3......For my sanity I don't care if they are 10 and still want a plug, so be it! My 1st daughter was almost 4, my son wasn't a paci person, my next son stopped taking it at 2 and my 4th daughter 3 and 1 month and still has it! My 3 year old has bitting all of them and she wont take them once that happens. I went straight to the store and brought home 10! My husband was like WHY? I said because she will tell me when he is ready, and that is how it goes! I could care LESS what people think, say or how they feel. That is just the type of person I am! I have pink, black and blonde hair and if people don't like it tough! Let people think whatever they want, you need to be comfortable with it and if your not then take it away. They cry for a couple days and if you can handle it then I say do it but a paci is god sent for me! Its a comfort thing for them. Your choice...

Laurie - posted on 08/17/2010

My daughter used her pacifier for what seemed like forever. After about 18 months, it was really easy to keep it in the crib. She was in a big bed at 22 months, and was content to leave it there most mornings. I did have to have a back up one in the car, because if she got tired, she'd just scream until we "plugged her". :-D
She would then leave it in the car, always pretty willingly.
On her third birthday, we told her that when the binky was gone she could have the little barbie scooter she had been asking for. I didn't have the wits about me to do some sort of pacifier fairy, that's cute...but we did cold turkey. She really only needed it to nap and at bedtime, and we just forced her to cry it out. She was not happy, but it took only 3 nights of tears and then it was over for good.
Good luck.
Oh, AND, her teeth are perfect. She's 11 1/2 now and the orthodontist says she likely won't need braces at all. :-)

Jaclynn - posted on 08/17/2010

leave him witht he paci if he accepted it to begin with he needed the security. He still has time at 1and a half start taking it during the day teach him to put it in the kitchen draw when he is awake and playing only give it to him during tired time.. But that is his securtiy right now. he will not sleep the same if you take it now.

Paula - posted on 08/17/2010

I don't think it makes you a bad mother at all. My Daughter was exactly the same and i followed a plan similar to yours, when she was 18 months she was only allowed to have the Paci for bed and then when she turned 2 i took it away and she was fine. I think you have to wait for a point when they are ready to give it up, rather than rushing it because of what other small minded people might say.

Susan - posted on 08/17/2010

I have two boys who both had soothers until they were 4. Only had them going to bed. On their 4th Christmas we hung them on the Christmas tree and santa took them and left an extra present for them. Don't worry about what other people think. You do whatever works for you and your children

Francetta - posted on 08/17/2010

Don't take his paci from him like that, I have a 9 yr old and a 14 month(who still has his paci) and taking my oldest off was easy, when she got tired of sucking it she gave it up on her own, she would only take it for bed then she stopped all together and she was 18 months old. My 14 month old loves his paci and sucks it just because he can and I don't care what anyone thinks they don't have to hear him fussing when he wants it, now there are time when he goes several hours without it and that's his choice. When your son is ready he will let you know.

Lynn - posted on 08/17/2010

Your plan sounds good, my now 18 year old had a very strong attachment to her paci, was nearly three and insisted on walking around with one in each hand and one in her mouth. We did the paci fairy thing, she really, really wanted a Barbie doll. One night we left all the pacis on the kitchen table and when she woke up in the morning it was magically replaced by the Barbie. She never brougth up the paci again. Had a similar problem with my now 10 year old and the baby bottles at two she was very hooked on the bottle. After an tantrum over an empty bottle in public (church), all bottles were simply thrown away. She missed them for one day then all was well.

Emily - posted on 08/17/2010

People (women) are so judgmental in this area! I talked to my son's doctor and she said the same thing. It should be gone by 2-3 yrs of age.
My son is 20 months and my goal is at his 2nd birthday it is gone! He only uses it at nap time and bed or I keep one in case of emergency breakdown. I tell him as we start to leave he needs to put it in my bag. Which he does.

I had two women say something loudly when I was in Hawaii on vacation at a luau because my son (15months at the time) had his. He was off schedule because of the time change and tired so I let him have it. I spoke up just as loud and said "would you rather my son cry and ruin the show??"
Women don't be so judgmental to your follow mothers!
Good luck!

Jamie - posted on 08/17/2010

I haven't read all the other posts, but it really is a parents' choice, and I think they should make it with the child. My daughter is 17 months old and still needs it at times, but a lot of times I will ask her for it and she gives it to me. My son is special needs, will be 5 tomorrow, and still uses his (he usually has one in his mouth and 2 in his hand). He has sensory issues. He talks just fine and doesn't have it all the time, just when he really needs it. Also, his dentist has said over and over again that the pacifier and bottle do not cause anything worse than what natural has already done. Pick your battles, nobody will care when he is getting married and going for job interviews if he had his paci past the age of 1. You set limits as a parent but also give kids some limited say and it will go a lot further. My oldest if 14 and getting ready to start high school. His friends don't know or care about his pacifier use!!!!

Joni Rae - posted on 08/17/2010

Yes, I agree, with Amanda, as long as they feel secure and loved they will eventually give it up. Nothing wrong with letting them reach the goal in their own time. And there is nothing wrong with gently helping them along.

Amanda - posted on 08/17/2010

sounds fine...my son had his till he was two and then i just got him to throw it away because it was "broken" he wined about it for a couple of nights but nothing serious, he also has a stuffie and blankey that he can not be seperated fromso i guess that helped...but sounds like your doing fine really...good luck :)

Joni Rae - posted on 08/17/2010

I agree about the special needs kids needing the paci longer. I adopted two special needs kids. A brother and sister sibling group. The oldest is 9 and still needs her paci and bottle during very stressful situations, her 6 year old brother didn't use either after 18 months. The counselors have all agreed that it is OK for her to use it, but with the stipulation that it stays in the house or car. She adheres to the rules and usually after a few minutes she puts it down and goes on. Please keep in mind before juding her or me that she is a special needs kid and probably will always have emotional problems.

Amie - posted on 08/17/2010

My daughter was a big dumie girl. She did have hers until she was 3. Don't expect him to just give it up it is usually harder than that. I also had the rule that she could only have hers for sleeping or if she was very upset because I didn't like her to be seen in public with it. When she was 3 (and 10 months) we left them under the christmas tree for the baby raindeers who left her a present in return. She was due to start pre-school the following February so we kept telling her she wasn't allowed to start if she still had a dumie.

Deneen - posted on 08/17/2010

Naptime and Bedtime paci at 1 to 2 years is fine. My son gave his up at 2 years of age on his own. He was only allowed to have it at nap or bedtime. I worry about 3 and 4 year olds still having them unless they are a Special needs child.

Jaci - posted on 08/17/2010

My husband and I just took it away one day from our little girl. I think she cried a little for one night and that was the end of it. My second though is 14 months and she points to where we keep the extras if she wants one. She only seems to want one around nap or bed time too. I think its just like putting them to bed with a bottle or a cup. They eventually don't notice and it's done with.

Joni Rae - posted on 08/17/2010

Sounds like you have given this a lot of thought. I commend you for not forcing the issue. It will happen when he is ready. You are a good Mom, keep up the good work!

Liz - posted on 08/17/2010

Well sounds like you have a good plan of action. All I would say is that when he starts talking you make sure he takes it out as it can make speech harder. But my son had one too. And he was seriously attached to it. WE had a few ideas of how to get rid of it. The Dummy fariy, cutting down, aslo he had a thing for losing them while out. So we had loads and we we thought that maybe when the last one was gone that would be it. It finally happened one day when out shopping. He was in the trolly and i turned round and he had lost it. I had not taken anymore with me, so he had to do with out. He was 20 months at the time. When we got home in his own little way he asked for it. And i just kept saying "sorry sweetie you lost it in the shop" and he would go off and play. That night it took a while to settle but after that night it got easier and easier. With him losing it he seemed to remember it and did not have blame for anyone else. But for us that was a spare of the moment thing, no planning it just happend.

What ever you decide will be just fine.x

Rebeca - posted on 08/17/2010

Sounds like you have a plan and that's great. You don't want the paci to be a crutch for your child which is important. Having to say goodbye to it is a great idea. When I was a baby my mum made me stand outside and wave goodbye to my dummy as the garbage man took it away. My sister told my nephews I took there dummy home with me when I visited once. Both times the children new it was gone, they said goodbye and they new it wasn't coming back. All important stages I think. Good luck with the weaning!

Bryndís - posted on 08/17/2010

2 of my sons used pacifiers and i did not take it away from them until they were 3 years old :) At 2 years the pacis did not leave the house except the boys were spending the night. And on their 3rd birthday i threw the pacis in the trash and that was that :) The first night there was a bit of whining but after that everything was fine :) So don't worry :) You have a good plan and i think you should stick to it :) Good luck.

Amber - posted on 08/17/2010

In my honest opinion I didn't let my kids use there pacifier the day of the birthdays is the day I said it went bye-bye.. Get him interested in using a big boys cup..After they turn 1 there teeth are coming in and pacifiers on good for the structure..It will make the teeth grow cricked and you don't want that to happen..So its best to say it went bye-bye the day of there birthday..I hope I am being helpful because that is all I am trying to be..and a Friend..