Parent hiding child sexual abuse

Anna - posted on 01/16/2013 ( 33 moms have responded )

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What happens if in a child sexual abuse case - mom and maternal grandfather are involved in sexual abuse of 7 year old boy. Father is hiding sexual abuse happening to the child to save the ex wife and ex father in law from going to Jail. Every time there were signs of sexual abuse, father lied to the police that sexual abuse is not happening. If the father changes his mind and decides to save his child and admits to the police and CPS that he lied, will he go to jail too?

Would really apprecate advice on this.

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S. - posted on 01/17/2013

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I agree with loraine it's as much you responsibility to flag up this situation to the police too otherwise your just as bad as you brother.

I know if that was my kid the only person I'd be protecting is my child. The only message that boy has been given is that it is ok for family members to abuse him because everyone will know about it but no one will help him.

Jodi - posted on 01/16/2013

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The father has an absolute obligation to report it. I don't care if he ends up in jail, he shouldn't have lied in the first place. He has no right to protect himself and allow the abuse to continue. The absolute priority should be for that child. What sort of father stands by and allows this to happen? How can you say the father is not harming the child? He is harming him by knowing this is going on and doing nothing!

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Rachael - posted on 03/10/2014

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This boy has already received a lifetime sentence but all the adults are worried about themselves. Yes father can be charged with facilitating abuse, complacency or a number of things however it really bothers me that this is the question raised here instead of saving this boy from his abusers. I will pray for this poor boy.

Jessica - posted on 02/12/2014

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That mother's father abused her as a child and now she is helping him do it to her own son wtf. What's wrong with his dad for allowing it to happen. I'd he wasn't going to tell the cops he should just take the boy and go.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 06/12/2013

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Wow. Mom is a loser, first class, and really, honestly, should be shot. Grandfather, same deal.

Dad is BIG ass. Huge. How in the bloody hell do you ENABLE YOUR CHILD TO BE ABUSED AND LIE TO THE AUTHORITIES?

Sorry, whole family needs to have this blessing removed from their lives. THE ENTIRE FAMILY enables this abuse, and the OP is actually defending the enabling.

Lord help this child! Thank God that his physician and counselor finally took it upon themselves to do what a biological "father" and aunt should have done to begin with.

Nope, this is not an attack on the OP. I am completely enraged, however, and the lack of response to the situation by both the child's father AND the OP.

Jodie - posted on 06/12/2013

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Sounds like the whole family are a bunch of fucking losers, even the OP doesn't really give a shit about this kid. I hope the whole lot of them go to jail for willfully hiding sexual abuse of a child. Fucking degenerates.

Anna - posted on 02/01/2013

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Yes Angela, it's made out to be a custody case when it isn't. Rather the father was not even talking about it as he didn't want the mother to get into trouble. It took a lot of councelling from family and friends that he needs to protect the child regardless of who gets into trouble. In USA they do not remove the child from their home so the child is afraid to talk about the abuser with the fear of going back to him.

Angela - posted on 02/01/2013

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Anna, I'm afraid many warring couples use contrived allegations of sexual or physical abuse or neglect etc .... to keep their child away from their ex partner. The authorities are aware of this and sometimes it works against the child - because the authorities wrongly view those allegations as false when they're true. Is this what is happening in your nephew's case?

I'm glad the doctor is on this child's side. Someone with power and influence needs to be.

In the UK, children who are suspected of being abused are removed. The authorities know the child is unlikely to open up if they're still living at the home where they received the abuse. Sometimes the child has to be living in the new home, away from the abusers for quite a while before they'll open up.

Anna - posted on 02/01/2013

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Ok...here is the update - Child's doctor also suspects sexual abuse and he contacted his psychologist. Both are working on it together on how they can protect the child and are willing to do everything in their power. Thank you all for your prayers!!! I just hope that the little boy gets saved. I had stopped believing in God. I think I was wrong in doing that, God does exist. If my nephew gets saved, I promised myself that I will volunteer to work for abused and suffering children. In the mean time - please keep praying for the child and I will keep you updated.

Loraine - posted on 02/01/2013

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Can you get child refered to a pyscologist????
Tell doctors your concerned about his clingy nature, bad sleep pattrns etc... lie if you have to just get him refered.
They have a way of getting children to open up about such things.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/31/2013

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cant you get some proof of this drug abuse ect,anything,what state do you live in ,I know its not cali..

Anna - posted on 01/31/2013

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Moving away is not possible as the mother is actively involved in getting the child abused. Mother has been into drugs and a meth user and very violent. The mother has the child 5 days a week and she has manipulated the whole thing to look like a custody case.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/31/2013

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the father should no longer have the child be watched by them when at work,pay for a daycare,figure something else out ,or move away anything.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/31/2013

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omg you have pics then why dont you take this evidence to the hospital,school. teachers, your news channel so they can get an investigater on it,keep trying...

Anna - posted on 01/31/2013

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CPS is refusing to open the case even when we have pictures of the abuse. The child is not ready to talk and he is saying whatever he is being coached by the mother. Authorities would not make the child safe first before talking to the child about abuse, so it's obvious the child will not talk as he know he has to go back to the abuser. Our broken system would not protect the child. They protect the abusers. This was never a custody case and a very clear child sexual abuse case but the authorities along with the abuser have converted it to look like a custody case. The child is a hostage in his own house and no one can do anything about it. It's ridiculous - the law cannot even protect a child from sexual abuse.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/29/2013

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um no one is attacking anna smith ,its called lighting a fire under some ones ass to find out what the heck is going on....

Angela - posted on 01/29/2013

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Sometimes the authorities will not act on hearsay (unless it was heard from the victim). It's all very well attacking Anna Smith for not reporting the matter herself, but unless she has seen the abuse or seen good evidence of it, she only has her brother's word.

All your brother needs to do is approach the authorities and state his child is being abused. If he is questioned about what he said before, he only needs to state that he did not believe it was really happening before, or he was mistaken in how he assessed the situation when he spoke to them before. But he needs to be definite that it's happening now. The child's safety comes first.

Should the abusers be jailed then he will have to care for his child. Or maybe YOU can?

End that child's suffering as soon as you can.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/29/2013

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you say the child wont go to sleep at night until daddy come back from work,well theres a monster in his room at night trying to molest him ,id be afraid to go to sleep also....daddy picks him up takes him away from the monster then returns the child to the monster....poor child....

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/29/2013

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why is the father handing this child over on a silver pladder knowing this ???because of his job,screw the job ,his job is to defend his poor child from being hurt.....

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/29/2013

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keep the child away from the abuser first and for most.then the child cant be threatend any longer so the child feels safe enough to tell someone ...why are you people allowing this child to go where he or she is being hurt and giving the abuser acess to the child??no wonder this child is afraid to open up .....

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/28/2013

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Confront the people who are abusing him, talk to the father about his and how this child is never going to trust anyone again. Do SOMETHING!!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 01/28/2013

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Yes you can legally call the authorities and tell them that you know this is going on. You are enabling this child getting sexually abused along with the father. Call CPS, the cops, tell the principal and the counselors at the school. Someone has to stand up for this child. You are as involved as anyone at this point. Are you going to let it continue? Hell, call the kids doctor so they can look for signs of sexual abuse.

Anna - posted on 01/28/2013

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I really appreciate your concern Patricia. As an auntie, I cannot do anything legally but I am trying to get help from wherever I can. Also my brother is fighting the case in the court. It's very tough with the abuser making the child lie to authorities and it's unbelievable that the authorities fell for the lies abuser is telling them. If anybody here at "circle of Moms" knows someone who was able to protect a child from sexual abuse where the abuser made it very complicated for the authorities to see the truth, please share with me and help protect this little boy.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/27/2013

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well its the end of the month now have you done anything to protect this child or not ,please let us know you have done something will you...?

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/17/2013

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So your the childs auntie ,wow and you know about this and you are as bad as your brother,for not doing anything but protecting the child molesters instead of the child,what the hell is wrong with you monsters?????

Loraine - posted on 01/17/2013

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Oh & just for the record. If you know this is going on, does that not make you equally responcible?

If someone was abusing or had abused my nephew i'd be straight on to the police.

Please, please, no matter how difficult this is for you, step up & do something.

Do you have parents, what do they say?

This child needs help NOW. iTS GONNA EFECT HIM FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE

Loraine - posted on 01/17/2013

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How is this little boy gonna feel in a few years time, when old enough to understand what has happened?
He is gonna know his daddy knew about what was happening to him & that he protected the abusers. Is he gonna love his daddy then, knowing he let them get away with it?

He needs to deal with this now.

There is a saying "better late than never" At least he will be able to say he didn't let them get away with it, even if he did take his time sorting it

Dove - posted on 01/16/2013

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The boy will be upset, for sure, but in the long run will be MUCH better off getting this reported... even if the father goes to jail (as well he should).

Anna - posted on 01/16/2013

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The father is my brother and my nephew loves him so much that if he is late from work, the child doesn't even go to sleep no matter how late it is in the night. If he won't see his father around, the child will be miserable. The father is not harming the chld in any way but did try to save the abusers and not his son. I have lost respect for my brother for what he did. But for my nephews sake, I want that I report to the authorities to save the child without the little boy having to lose his father. If someone can advice - how it works legally.

Dove - posted on 01/16/2013

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I would suspect that he would potentially go to jail, but if he's a real man he will think more of saving his son than whether or not he will go to jail. By lying in the first place.... he's no better than the abusers and that boy would probably be safer in foster care.

Patricia Ann - posted on 01/16/2013

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Why dont you say something,poor kid,do something will you... oh yeah he should go to jail and burn,in hell for not helping that poor child...

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