"Perfect" Moms...

Verlene - posted on 06/18/2009

do you notice not one of these post are from so called perfect moms. they are the ones who think I said think they have it all together so they don't need to come to places like this. I used to think I was a perfect mom with my first one and I screwed him up bad. he is doing better now and I can be the first one to admit I am not perfect and my kids are better for it

~Jennifer - posted on 06/18/2009

Everyone has their own way of doing things (which is usually 'perfect' for their lifestyle.) What works for me may or may not work for you / him/ her/ them. I try not to force my style on anyone, nor would I want anyone to be / act just like me. I like being unique. =)
I have standards that I set for my own household. I don't expect people outside of my house to live up to my standards, nor would I wish to live up to the standards of someone else. In our house we expect honesty, integrity and respect for ourselves and our home - if someone cannot abide by our expectations they are asked to leave.
This is what works for our family.
Do I consider myself perfect? No. Not even close. (actually, so far from perfect that the light from perfect hasn't reached me yet)

Do I believe in perfection in parenting? No. Parenting is trial and error, hopefully success in raising (a) well adjusted child(ren), and probably a lot of "why me?" / "now what?" 's in the middle. If everyone knew exactly what to do, all the time, well, no one would be on this forum, would they? If they claim they DO know what to do all the time, well.......show me that person and I'll be the first one to tell them that they're lying or completely deluded. At the very least, people that claim perfection give me something to chuckle at when they find that things didn't go by the book - like they 'should' have gone. Maybe in about 15 - 20 years, we can all meet back here, see whose kids are paying for therapy because they 'resent their mother' for one reason or another, and then we can discuss 'perfection' in parenting. Truthfully, you'll never really know if your way 'worked' until they're grown and completely on their own.

I think there's an old saying that goes something like : 'Better to be a diamond with a flaw, than a pebble without'.

Chrissy - posted on 06/18/2009

Quoting Julie:

Wait....I am a perfect mom!!!! Sometimes I screw up. Sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes I raise my voice at my kids. Sometimes I don't follow the advice of others, but instead rely on my instincts. See? I am the most perfect mom MY CHILDREN could have gotten! We are all the most perfect moms...for our own children. We, as women, should be here to help and support each other...but we need to keep in mind that what works for me may not work for you!

I love this!  We're each perfect in our own way, to our own child.  We're perfect because we make mistakes, and ask questions, and love with all our hearts.  No other mother is as perfect to our children as we are.  I love that way of looking at it.

I'd be the first person who'd tell you I'm not perfect.  But it really rubs me the wrong way when someone tries to tell me what do (unsolicited of course).  The attitude that they are "better than" me as a mom because they breastfed for 2 years, or co-slept.  Whatever.  Their idea of perfect and mine - not so much agreeing.

Christal - posted on 06/18/2009

I agree, no mom is perfect. maybe like Julie said, your perfect for your child. but DEFINATLY not perfect. all moms make mistakes, and even with each child, what may work for 1 may not work for another. so your constantly learning. If a mom thinks she is "perfect" she has soooo much to learn.

Julie - posted on 06/18/2009

Wait....I am a perfect mom!!!! Sometimes I screw up. Sometimes I am wrong. Sometimes I raise my voice at my kids. Sometimes I don't follow the advice of others, but instead rely on my instincts. See? I am the most perfect mom MY CHILDREN could have gotten! We are all the most perfect moms...for our own children. We, as women, should be here to help and support each other...but we need to keep in mind that what works for me may not work for you!

Marina - posted on 06/18/2009

In our children eyes we are perfect. Our children always say your the best mom ever. This goes the same for dads. Be true to your self in how you raise your children and it doesn't matter what others think. We all have different parent skills. It doesn't matter if you make homemade cookies or bake them out of a bag what counts is that you try.

~ While we try to teach our children all about life... Our children teach us what life is all about~

Great advice Rhionna Herbert! I am a firm believer of what you just said.

Andrea - posted on 06/18/2009

I don't like mom's like that. I hate when they tell me how to raise my child. I don't mind a little friendly advice but when they are pushing their parenting on me I get a little fired up.



Have you ever noticed that the ones who are so "perfect" are usually the ones with the kids who look like they just rolled in dirt, are loud and never listen. At least the ones I know have kids like that.

Jeannie - posted on 06/18/2009

Totally agree. It seems so phony when someone acts to perfect. I am a new mom and not afraid to ask questions and learn as I go.

Rhionna - posted on 06/18/2009

I totally agree, what works for one family may not for another. I like to read loads of advice and opinions and then decide what is right for me and my family. The more people that place posts the better because you've got more options to look at!