"Perfect" moms....

Jeanne - posted on 07/05/2009

Everyday....and as the kids get older and start developping a personnality it gets more difficult. My daughter is four going on forty and she's very strong willed. I know that I discipline her for her own good when she is not listening....but it makes me feel especially inadequate when she talks back and I don't know how to stop it....I will learn just like every other mother out there by trial and error. But rest assured that these so called perfect moms had their good and bad days whether they admit it or not.....so take heart after all we are only human after all.

Mel - posted on 07/05/2009

i like your comment Angela, i too have done things in public im not proud of. i think your right mums do get to the end of thier rope. and before you have your own children you look at them and think omg that is terrible how can they be that way to thier kids, then you have kdis yourself and your an exact copy of how that mother was. you tell them not to do something you yell and scream, and mine is not even grown up yet. no body is perfect :)

Angela - posted on 07/04/2009

Oh, darlin - if you had a nickle for every mom who thought she could raise your child better than you, you'd be rich. We all have a little of that in us - we see a mom in McDonalds at the end of her rope with a 2 year old toddler who's screaming at the top of her lungs, and finally snaps and storms out, or tells their baby to shut up. We're the first to say "OMG...what a mean mommy" because we forget what it was like, or we don't realize what WE look like when we lose our patience. We shouldn't be so critical of each other or ourselves...you love your children and do the very best you can...and learn as you go. NO MOMS ARE PERFECT... and none of us know, unless we've walked a mile in another mom's shoes, what it's like to raise their kids. Stop judging each other.

Johnny - posted on 07/04/2009

I'd like to hope that it is perhaps just outward confidence that they are displaying and not an actual belief that they are "perfect", since no one ever is. Most mothers (and parents) are just doing their best with the skills and knowledge that they have, and some days things go well, and some days not so much. If they do not think that they have any improvements to make in their life, they are sadly deluding themselves. We can all do better each & every day. That's part of the fun of parenting and they are missing out.

Mel - posted on 07/04/2009

yeah theres a few women on here like that. no one is perfect and the ones who think they are , are the ones who have screwed up kids because they are so damn uptight with their upbringing. those families where they can talk about anything because they know they are going to get in so much trouble my fiance never told his parents he tried pot once as a kid because they would disown him. my mother was a little the same way you could not talk to her about anything. i had a brilliant cousin in my life her daughter is the same age as me and she has 5 other kids and fostered so many and her rules are so simple and everyone loves her for them, shes takes anyone in but if they screw up they are in for severe punishment, if they bring drugs in the house she gets half of them, and if yu do something wrong tell her and she will be fine , dont tell her and she finds out and you cop it. lie to her and you cop it so always be unfront and honest about everything and always come to her when theres a problem. i think this is an excellent way of parenting

Lorraine - posted on 07/04/2009

very much i feel the same way. sometimes i don't have time for a shower cause i'm trying to do housework while my girl is sleeping. by the end of the day i just like watching my baby sleep and see how beautiful she is. who cares if i haven't had a chance to pluck my eyebrows cause my hubby doesn't seem to care. just relax!! you are a great mom and believe it!

Sapphire - posted on 07/04/2009

I should have probably included that comparing different parenting styles & philosophies is not just an 'on-line' thing of course, but with other moms in real life. I differ my parenting style greatly with my sister & some friends. But neither of us are perfect.

Sapphire - posted on 07/04/2009

No One is perfect. Everyone has different parenting styles. To them, they are perfect for their family situation. No 2 parents are alike. Many share the same parenting philosophies, and of course many are very out-spoken about their parenting beliefs. But no one is perfect. What I *think* you may be refering to (and I could be wrong) is when a group of parents who prescribe to the same parenting styles & philosophies degrade parents who do not share the same viewpoints on this public forum. There will always be very heated debates and issues, and sometimes emotions get the better of us. It's easy to perceive someone as a perfect mom, but I assure you that no one is perfect.

Cris - posted on 07/04/2009

I am not perfect at all and I have learnt the hard way somethimes. No-one is perfect and those that think they are, especially in the raising of children, always come a cropper at some point (hopefully when I am there!).

Carly - posted on 07/04/2009

Oh about working. I need to work, but I want to work too. Some women are not cut out to be sahm's. I love my kids dearly, but they drive me crazy and by monday I am ready to leave for work.

Emily - posted on 07/04/2009

Oh I certainly do. I was recently at a party where there were a bunch of families there. I had no idea what their status was (i.e. working mom, stay at home mom etc). We were all in a circle and the host of the darn party (who happens to be a long term family friend) said "and she works too". One of the Mom's then said, "How do you go to bed at night knowing someone else is raising your kids for you." I just about choked. My response was the high road and something along the lines of well if they want to eat, I have to work.

It turns out I was the only working mother. A long conversation then erupted where the topic of conversation was how terrible it was that mothers had to work. I felt as if I suddenly had bbeen judged and put down on all fronts. I first was feeling very inadequate but then the anger set in. I echoed the same statements of "you think you're perfect huh." You're not alone in your thoughts

Emily - posted on 07/04/2009

Oh I certainly do. I was recently at a party where there were a bunch of families there. I had no idea what their status was (i.e. working mom, stay at home mom etc). We were all in a circle and the host of the darn party (who happens to be a long term family friend) said "and she works too". One of the Mom's then said, "How do you go to bed at night knowing someone else is raising your kids for you." I just about choked. My response was the high road and something along the lines of well if they want to eat, I have to work.

It turns out I was the only working mother. A long conversation then erupted where the topic of conversation was how terrible it was that mothers had to work. I felt as if I suddenly had bbeen judged and put down on all fronts. I first was feeling very inadequate but then the anger set in. I echoed the same statements of "you think you're perfect huh." You're not alone in your thoughts

Abby - posted on 07/04/2009

I feel that way sometimes, but then I think about how awful those ladies must feel that they have no where to go. That's the fun in life.. learning and growing at a person (no matter how old you are) and those ladies are under an illusion if they believe they really do not need anything else in life!



My advice to you is just to brush them off - don't compare yourself to them! There is no way that they can be in your exact situation so there is no room for comparison! Plus, I'm sure you're a great mom!