piggy back pregnancy and scared

Heather - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 5 months old and im 2 months pregnant... im kinda scared because my doc told me not to get pregnant for another 2 years... will this effect the baby?? and how will this effect my body?? also, we can barely support one baby, but another one may break us... im scared and searching for some emotional support, im excited about the new baby growing inside me but afraid also... im only 19 and lifes getting hard really fast....

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Jennifer - posted on 01/15/2010

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First take a deep breath! It's going to be ok!!! I was married at 16, had my daughter a week after I turned 17 and found out I was pregnant again when she was 3 months old. I now have 5 lol. My first 2 are a year and 5 days apart. The good news is the baby should be ok but YOU need to take extra good care of yourself. I won't lie....it's going to be hard. Once the new baby gets here, It will feel like you have twins for a VERY long time. Your older child will be a year old and into EVERYTHING, you will be exhausted from caring for a newborn and your older one will revert back into a "baby". You're going to feel guilty for not having enough time with the older one, you will probably get frustrated more easily however, this too shall pass. It won't last forever and the best YOU can do is get down on the floor and play with your babies, even if it means you're taking a semi-nap while they climb all over you LOL. My kids are older now and the best of friends. Financially, the only thing you're really buying is more diapers because most everything else can be hand-me-downs. On the upside, this will make you more eager to potty train the first one sooner than you would have if you didn't have a 2nd one in diapers LOL. Even a 12 month old can be helpful. As a matter of fact, they thrive on helping. So when the new baby needs a diaper change, send the toddler to get you the diaper and praise praise praise them for a job well done. Toddlers also like helping with the feeding so they can "help" hold the bottle, or get you a blanket, pick up the dropped sock, etc etc etc. I think it's great that you're reaching out for support and I have nooooo doubt that you will be just fine babe!! Congrats and blessings to you and your little ones!!

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Thandiwe - posted on 01/31/2010

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Hi heather, U know GOD has a plan for every1. Hope you and your husband get some sort of financial assistance. Bring up that baby like it's the only thing you have to live for.

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sorry heather to read that you lost your baby and i cant imagine how you feel.its best to wait until you are both ready and able to afford it and that your health is in good condition.i wish you all the best take care.

April - posted on 01/30/2010

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my 2 daughters are 14 months apart ,they are now 10 and 11 and perfectly healthy ,happy kids.Most the time,dr.s tell you that because it is said to sometimes be high risk to the mother ,but as long as you take care of yourself,eat right,rest,you should be fine....God wouldnt allow it if it wasnt meant to be!
take care and good luck!

Heather - posted on 01/29/2010

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thank everyone for your help.. but i just got outta the hospital and i lost the baby, i was really starting to get excited about it but i guess its what god had in store for me. idk im kinda upset about the whole thing but i think in 2 years or so my husband and i may try to have a little boy. until then lets hope the birth control doesnt fail again... once again than you everyone for all of your input and support you have all been very helpful. :)

Felicia - posted on 01/18/2010

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Hi Heather. Don't be scared. I had my first at 20 and my second baby at 21. They are 10 months apart, yes I was busy. LOL! It can be hectic and very frustrating. I was going to school and working part time. These truly saved me when I had my girls so close together: 1-start potty training your 1st child soon (10-12 months) that will help with diapers/if they can walk they can be potty trained, 2-as soon as you can set up a schedule (do it with the 5 month old now and when the 2nd baby come just include the baby), 3-exercise now that will help you get your body back in shape (if doctor permits it), 4-eat healthy. Don't stress, just find what works and stick with it. My daughters are 16 and 17 years old and they still go to sleep around 9pm. :-) I hope this helps a little...

Iysha - posted on 01/18/2010

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I read that you both are unemployed. You can get help from the government welfare and if you are getting cash aid, which you will if you both don't have an income, you can apply for a program called Welfare To Work. I don't know how it is in the state you live in but, your husband can go to school for an "in demand job" and if is far enough away, he can get paid mileage to go to school.



My fiance is not working and started going to school to be an auto technician a couple months before we got accepted for welfare. I am working part time and he goes to school full time. He gets about $1000 a month for mileage since his school is far away, 126 miles. They will also pay for childcare if you are going to be working. You can get mileage on top of the welfare money and food stamps and WIC. We are using the misfortune of my Fiance losing his job to get a leg up. When he gets out of school, he will make a good amount of money and we won't need to be on welfare ever again!



As for having 2 young babies, a lot of women do it. My grandmother had 4 children all 11months apart and then 5 years later had another one....and 4 years later her husband died. she had 5 kids all by herself and took care of them. You will find a way....most people learn to manage. Like the others said, save all your baby stuff. I am and I am not pregnant and don't plan to be for a while, but I want to be more prepared than I was the next time around. If you don't have another girl, Yard Sales can make you a lot of money for baby clothes. I sold my daughters stuff and a few things I had double of from hand-me-downs from other people's kids and the stuff I didn't want and made out with $200. I got my daughter some things she needed with that money.

Gillian - posted on 01/18/2010

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I sort of understand where you are coming from. Although I am 36 yrs old, I was pregnant again with my second child (due any day now) when my son was 4 months old. They will be 13 months apart in age. I still am scared in some ways. How am I going to handle a newborn and a 1 yr old who may not understand I can give him all the attention any more ect.
I have not had any medical problems throughout my entire pregnancy so i hope the same goes for you. I was on high risk until I went to see a high risk OB specialist where they did a level II ultrasound and found this baby healthier and at less risk for medical problems than my first. That made me feel better since I was concerned about this baby's health. My biggest complaint really is that I feel like i have been pregnant forever more with this one than the first but then there was only about 4 months between the 2.
Financially, things are getting tight cause of the amount of time I have been out of work. What I have been doing is shopping at alot of thirt stores, fortunately alot of the things my son wore the new baby girl will be able to wear. So what if she's in blue or vise versa at home. I have also been shopping on craigs list for other things. I check it every day. ocassionally under the free stuff, I have found clothing and formula for free. I just check the formula containers for tampering and expriation dates.
Another thing I have seen posted is people looking for certain things in exchange for.......They may have what you need and you may have what they need.
Hope everything goes well for you and congratulations

Maria - posted on 01/17/2010

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Am 36 and mother of 4 children,..had my oldest son when i was just 18 and i can understand why you are scared, but have no fear and trust GOD that he will give you EVERY means to take care of your children!!! Things have a weird way of "JUST" working out....

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My sister and I were 15 months apart. My sister was 6 months old when my mom got pregnant with me. We use to hate each other sooooo much! she was so jealous that I was getting her precious mommy time! She's 29 now and she is my very best friend. I don't know what I would do without her! Maybe you too will have another girl and they will be best friends also! I know you must be so scared and that is way close (id probably lose my mind) But just let go. Do whatever works for you to get through your life at this time. Babies would come that close all the time back in the day and still here we are! Breastfeed!!!! It saves sooo much money! Best wishes!

Amanda - posted on 01/15/2010

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My son was 4 months old when I found out I was 13 weeks pregnant, I was taking birth control too. It was very rough at first but now we are very excited to have our kids 13 months apart. It will be hard at first but your kids will be so close to each other! Just stay positive and focus on adding to your family! You can definately get assistance from your state government, we are young parents too (22) and both doing what we can to make ends meet. Every little bit helps! Make sure you eat well and stay active and take your prenatals and give the rest to God and everything will be fine!

Rachael - posted on 01/14/2010

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I have a 3 yr old1 yr old and a 4 month old. The four month old was a surprise and I was very nervous about having two so close together. But we have all three that r very close together and it has been great... Hectic, but great. The one yr old loves the baby we have reused clothes and the car seat. It was really much easier having them close together because there wasn't time to forget all the baby stuff.

Kesia - posted on 01/14/2010

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think about it this way your five year old will get company and its easier to grow two than one save some of the old stuff that can be reused

Jan - posted on 01/13/2010

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I had the same due date 2 yrs in a row. My youngest 2 are 1yr and 1wk to the day, apart in age (both boys). It is scary but it all works out somehow. Like you, we were terrified on how we'd be able to afford another baby, time off work again, etc. I have to admit, I don't think I slept much for a good 2-3yrs but somehow survived. I actually potty trained them both a the same time. I started training the older at 2 1/2 yrs and the youngest just followed along and I had him trained by age 2 and the oldest at age 3. Hang in there!

Glenda - posted on 01/12/2010

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Good Luck to you! I wish I would have had mine closer together, but it always seems that it works out somehow. My Mom even felt the same way after 5 girls. Wow! Women are the strong ones and the nurturers of the planet. There's alot of great advice here. Check it all out and be the strong person (i'm sure your are!) Lot of Love!!! (c:

Carrie - posted on 01/12/2010

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I am a 30 old old mother of 3.... I had my first son when I was 17 and my daughter 11 months later. I was married to a horrible man also. I will tell you it is hard and your nerves will be shot most of the time however I do not regret having them so close together. I now have a 12 year old son, 11 year old daughter, and a 3 year old son. Life is full of surprises but we roll with them. You will be fine and just remember we always find a way to have just enough money. Don't panic and breath!!!! You are adding another member to your family. How exciting!!!!! You and husband will make it.

Lisa - posted on 01/12/2010

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Congratulations, keep positive i had my first at 19 and i had my second son 10 and a half months later. I was very scared because my first was 6months old and in hospital ill when i found out i was pregnant again but i was 17weeks which really was a shock. Dr's say wait but like Natasha said your daughter will have a play mate and they will grow up together.



You will need your rest but you can do that when your daughter has her rest especially if your partner works alot. (Sorry Krista but i dont agree with getting the partner to do evrything so you can rest). I had to do everything with my first while being so far gone, my partner worked full time i barely saw him and i had to move us into a new house.

Once you have them both you wont have time to ret unless they have naps at the same time.



It will be very unlikely that you will have any health problems. I am now 26 and still very healthy how i looked at it was that all the weight i put on i could lose and not worry about losing it after the first one and then 2 years later doing it all over again.



Try to stay calm which is easier with a young child because you haven't got to worry too much where they are (you leave them to do something they stay where they are)



Good luck and i hope that you have plenty of fun with your daughter til your little one arrives

Darla - posted on 01/12/2010

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hi heather, i can relate your stress and worries. my son was 7months when i found out i was 4 wks with my other son. we too were and still are having financial stress, i was a point where i really thought i could not have our son. but after thinking about it and talking to other moms i realized that creator blessed me with this baby and he is meant to be! so here we are, my first born is 27months on the 19th and my second born is 10 months on the 19. and financials just work out, we utilize the food bank if a month happens to get really bad, we utilize help from other community resources. the extra baby bonus and extra child tax help us alot. things just seem to manage and come together no matter how hard it gets and how much i start to lose faith. as for my boys they are only 17months apart and they play together, sleep in the same room, share toys, bath time everything and they are getting along great. at first my first born was a lil cranky about a new baby but he learned to help real fast and be a great big brother! i had both my boys by c-section, my first was emergency and my second was recommended because my doctor didnt think my uterus was healed from having my first son but my body could have had my second naturally im sure of it.
i just want to say that its okay to feel afraid, and worries will always be there, times are hard and life throws us curve balls, but im sure heather you will find this journey hard at first but rewarding in the end, so far my experience has only taught me to do my best and know there is always tomorrow to try again. i wish you the best of luck and know there is always support and if you need to chat you always have us here in this circle of mothers and friends:) in friendship, darla.

Heather - posted on 01/12/2010

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i am recently on wic and medicaid accually just stopped mine and my daughters medicaid so imma have to do that all over again. my husband is currently umemployed and i just lost my job last week because i hung up on an irate customer... but he was being a jerk.. anyways... with both of us unempoyed its gotten really really stresssful.. and i am really excited to have another baby because i always said i have 2 kids hopefully this one will be a boy.. but also scared because we are so behind on our mortgage that were gonna loose our house in feb if we dont pay something b4 then.. My doc said that the reason i shouldnt get pregnant again for two years is because i hemmoraged really bad during the birth of my daughter in august and he was scared that htis pregnancy would be rough and very harmful to me and the fetus.

Rosie - posted on 01/12/2010

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try getting on wic, and title 19, it helped me ALOT. pays for formula, and if you're breastfeeding it gets you some food, and title 19 takes care of all of your medical bills.

as for your body, you will be perfectly fine. having 2 years inbetween is a great idea, but i have never heard of it being bad for the baby. it just makes your recovery harder. get plenty of exercise, take your vitamins and eat right and you and your little one will be just fine.

Merry - posted on 01/12/2010

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if you are in the usa you should look into gov assistence and wic i am on both and i havent bought any food for my family since my son was born and all dr bills were covered for me my husband and our son.

also definately breastfeed because it is so much cheaper and also it releases oxytocin which calms you and your baby down and it is called the love hormone cuz it makes you feel good and this can help with the stress of being so young and having a family. take prenatal vitamins and try to eat your vegies as they will help this 2nd pregnancy not hurt your body.

tell us more of your situation and im sure we can all help more :)

Krista - posted on 01/11/2010

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Like Natasha said, make sure you are vigilant about eating properly and taking your vitamins. Make sure your husband helps out a lot with your daughter, as you're going to need your rest.

The second baby won't be as expensive as the first, as you already HAVE a lot of baby stuff. By the time your new baby is born, it'll be time to switch car seats, and you would have had to get a new one anyway. So you can use your existing one for the new baby. It'll be like that with most of your gear -- by the time your new baby needs it, your daughter will have outgrown it anyway. If you're worried about the crib situation, consider having your new baby in a bassinet until your daughter is old enough for a toddler bed. And don't be shy about getting second-hand stuff if you need to. A lot of it is barely (or never) used. We got some stuff second-hand and it was just like new!

Needless to say, when this new baby is born, go on birth control RIGHT AWAY. You can take the progestin-only pill and it won't affect breast-feeding, if you're planning on nursing.

You'll be very, very busy for a few years, but once they're a bit older, it'll be great. Oh, and be sure to look online to see if there are any tax breaks or government benefits for which you can qualify. Every penny helps, right?

Natasha - posted on 01/11/2010

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Congratulations! Think about the positives, your daughter is going to have a playmate and your having the baby stages together (only 1 baby bag). Just start making plans for when you have your new son/daughter. You will have hand me down clothes, even if you have a son, you can use all the pink stuff at home and just buy a few items for going out. If your worried about formula, try breastfeeding this time around, if you can. You already have bottles there to use, if you don't.



In regards to your health, I don't think it is ideal to have them so close, but I know of other Mother's that fell pregnant so close and they are all fine today. They have managed and the kids are happy and healthy. Just make sure you eat really rich in nutrition meals and maybe get a pregnancy supplement for the added boost.



Don't stress too much, it can really harm you and your baby. I was really stressed when I was pregnant, even having panic attacks and my son cried and cried non-stop for the first 6 months. Apparently stress during pregnancy can cause emotional and behavioural problems in your child. I really believe this is the reason for my son's excessive crying.

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