PLEASE HELP ME!!

Lisa - posted on 07/07/2009 ( 50 moms have responded )

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My son is 10 months old and we have always co-slept. for the past 2.5 months, I have been trying to put him in his crib for naps, in an attempt to get him used to it so when I transitioned him for good it would not be so hard. I am being diligent about it for the first 45 min or so of his nap, but every time he wakes up and is in the crib he cries...a lot! I can get him to sleep and lay him in a BED, however, and he is in heaven. Nights are horrible, and tonight I am at my wits end. I used to be able to nurse him to sleep and lay him in his crib for 30 min-1hr and get a break. now he doesn't even go to sleep nursing. I am afraid I have messed him up letting him sleep in my bed. Please tell me if anyone else has dealt with this, and that there is a better way to get him to sleep in his crib at night than to let him cry it out...I don't think I can do that. This is my fault, and he should not have to be traumatized in order to correct it..........

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Kylie - posted on 07/16/2009

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Quoting Helke:



Quoting Lisa:

PLEASE HELP ME!!

My son is 10 months old and we have always co-slept. for the past 2.5 months, I have been trying to put him in his crib for naps, in an attempt to get him used to it so when I transitioned him for good it would not be so hard. I am being diligent about it for the first 45 min or so of his nap, but every time he wakes up and is in the crib he cries...a lot! I can get him to sleep and lay him in a BED, however, and he is in heaven. Nights are horrible, and tonight I am at my wits end. I used to be able to nurse him to sleep and lay him in his crib for 30 min-1hr and get a break. now he doesn't even go to sleep nursing. I am afraid I have messed him up letting him sleep in my bed. Please tell me if anyone else has dealt with this, and that there is a better way to get him to sleep in his crib at night than to let him cry it out...I don't think I can do that. This is my fault, and he should not have to be traumatized in order to correct it..........






put him in his crib at certain time with his favorite toy shut the door and walk away. I no that sounds mean but u need to be strong, also spray some of your perfume on the favourite toy so he can still smell your cent.





 









When a mother is tuned into their child walking away and shutting the door is absolutely not an option. It’s cruel and unfair to expect her baby to just cry himself to sleep when he has had his mum there every night since he was born. In my experience if co-sleeping is working for you both don't try to transition him too early. With my daughter we waited until she was 2 and moved her into her own room quite easily with no tears. If you want to get him sleeping in his own room before 1 get a double mattress and put it on the nursery floor. Then you can lie down together at bed time and once he is a sleep you can get up. He will get used t his own room slowly and so the transition form nursing to sleep will be easier for him. He wont be sleeping in your bed forever so dont let poeple tell you what you have done is wrong. Just take it slow, go with your instincts, if leaving him to cry feels wrong to you then it is.

Emma - posted on 07/08/2009

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Just think...families all around the world that live in developing countries do not have the luxury of cots or seperate rooms...they sleep with their mummy and daddy and then with other children!!! If you are only doing it for your own needs then you will undoubtly have to go through your child being upset...Trust your instinct and don't listen to others or what Society says you should do. Just remember, Mother Nature designed us so that the bond between Mother and Child is intricate...(breastfeeding shows that closeness is the key to a happy confident child)....Good Luck and trust yourself!.

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Kylie - posted on 07/16/2009

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Quoting Helke:



Quoting Lisa:

PLEASE HELP ME!!

My son is 10 months old and we have always co-slept. for the past 2.5 months, I have been trying to put him in his crib for naps, in an attempt to get him used to it so when I transitioned him for good it would not be so hard. I am being diligent about it for the first 45 min or so of his nap, but every time he wakes up and is in the crib he cries...a lot! I can get him to sleep and lay him in a BED, however, and he is in heaven. Nights are horrible, and tonight I am at my wits end. I used to be able to nurse him to sleep and lay him in his crib for 30 min-1hr and get a break. now he doesn't even go to sleep nursing. I am afraid I have messed him up letting him sleep in my bed. Please tell me if anyone else has dealt with this, and that there is a better way to get him to sleep in his crib at night than to let him cry it out...I don't think I can do that. This is my fault, and he should not have to be traumatized in order to correct it..........






put him in his crib at certain time with his favorite toy shut the door and walk away. I no that sounds mean but u need to be strong, also spray some of your perfume on the favourite toy so he can still smell your cent.





 









When a mother is tuned into their child walking away and shutting the door is absolutely not an option. It’s cruel and unfair to expect her baby to just cry himself to sleep when he has had his mum there every night since he was born. In my experience if co-sleeping is working for you both don't try to transition him too early. With my daughter we waited until she was 2 and moved her into her own room quite easily with no tears. If you want to get him sleeping in his own room before 1 get a double mattress and put it on the nursery floor. Then you can lie down together at bed time and once he is a sleep you can get up. He will get used t his own room slowly and so the transition form nursing to sleep will be easier for him. He wont be sleeping in your bed forever so dont let poeple tell you what you have done is wrong. Just take it slow, go with your instincts, if leaving him to cry feels wrong to you then it is.

Heather - posted on 07/16/2009

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hi, i am a mother of 2 boys, to let a child cry it out is hard, but necessary. when he wakes up during his nap, dont go get him, or at least dont pick him up. when i transitioned both boys i had to hold and rock them until they were really sleepy (almost asleep) and then put them down. gradually hold them less and less time, he should eventually get used to his crib and sleeping alone. i think the key is not to pick him up if you do go in his room. good luck!!

Katie - posted on 07/12/2009

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I am So sorry it is very hard to back track like this in parenting. I have found if you get them something that comforts them, my niece has really fuzzy socks she has to have in her hand to fall asleep it is all about what comforts them. Good luck!!! Crying is ok they do need to learn to mellow themselves out cause you will not always be around and that right there i think is the hardest thing of all.

Mel - posted on 07/12/2009

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i think you really have to let him cry he will learn without a few weeks hopefully it is going to be rough but he has got to learn some time and if you do it now it will be easier on him. im glad you have realised how bad co sleeping is for babies as they get older you sound like a fantastic mother

Annette - posted on 07/12/2009

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Hi there

My daughter is still co sleeping with me at 17 and a half months we enjoy it and I get much more sleep with her there then having to get up and down and in and out of bed during the night. I wouldn't have it any other way for when she was teething she went through a stage of throwing up and I much preferred to be there for her to comfort and hold her through the night.

I believe it comes down to personal preference nobody should be judging you and the way you do things so long as it suits you, your lifestyle and your household. They are only youngsters still learning about themselves and their surroundings give them time it will all fall into place.

Debra - posted on 07/12/2009

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In my opinion you are going to traumatize if you don't do it now. I had to let my 11 month old cry, scream, and puke (and then sleep in it) to get him to go to sleep in his crib without rocking him to sleep. It was his doctors advise and it worked. Only had to do it once and it never happened again. Crying does not hurt your child, even adults need to cry sometimes. You will both be better off with him sleeping in his (her) own bed. It makes them more confident as they grow up, confidence is not something you suddenly try to teach when they are older. I have 3 children between the ages of 16-11 and they are very good kids, not over confident and yet they are very confident in themselves. The best advise my ped doctor gave was that they need to know how to put themselves to sleep. Neither of you get good healthy sleep when the child sleeps in your bed. They need to learn as a baby how to sleep the whole night or even as an adult they will not be good sleepers. I know the habit is hard to break but you can do it and you will be so happy you did, and the child will be happier too. Get support from everyone living under the same roof, go outside if you have too, and have your support person keep an ear out (DO NOT leave them in the house alone). You can go in the room and check them starting at five minutes, then extend the time each time, this way they know you are still there. IT WORKS!! And oh yes - consistency, consistency, consistency - don't give in! When my kids got sick we would give in for a few nights of course but then get right back on track. Consistency is another word for parent, ALWAYS BE CONSISTENT IN EVERYTHING, how would you like it if your wife or husband were not consistent in how they treated you.

Wendy - posted on 07/12/2009

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My son is 17 months old and is still in my bed. He slept in his crib (which was in my room) and when we got back from vacation last year, I moved his crib in his own room. He was 7 months old and was sleeping through the night, but woke up in a crib in a strange room and now he's horrified so he sleeps with me. Then I put his crib mattress on the floor in my room. He would sleep there 4-5 hours then walk over to the bed and I would pick him up and put him in the bed. Now I'm trying to put him back in crib. He will sleep there until about 2:00a.m. then scream, I go get him him, put him in my bed and falls right back to sleep. How do I get him to be not so afraid of his crib? I think it's the being locked up where he can't get out syndrome.

Jill - posted on 07/11/2009

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Wow, this brought back some memorys. I went thru this with my boy (over 5 years ago). I did the same thing you did for way to long. It was the hardest thing ever. I ended up buying him a really cool toddler bed and that made it easier. I used to have to lay on the floor and just give him my arm. I can say that it well get better. My boy has been sleeping in his own bed for over 4 1/2 years now. Don't know if that helps but I do feel your pain.

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2009

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I forgot to add my daughter has been sleeping by herself since she was 18 months old.

Jennifer - posted on 07/11/2009

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My son is 16 months old. I put him to sleep by layong down w/him and then i move him to his crib. When he wakes up I lay him in my bed till he goes to sleep and then I move him to his crib. He is slowly sleeping more and more in his crib. I did this with my daughter who is now three years old as well. There is nothing wrong with cosleeping. But if you want him to sleep in his crib you'll just have to ease him into it. Some nights he may still end up in bed with you especially if he is sick or teething ect.

Malia - posted on 07/10/2009

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I made a similar mistake with my first daughter. Now she is almost three and won't sleep in her own bed by herself. I'm fighting with her now trying to make it happen. With my second daughter, I read "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". The author makes several suggestions on how to "sleep train" babies. It has worked mostly for my youngest. We still have our moments, but more often than not she goes to bed and only cries for 5 minutes then sleeps through the night. She is also really good about taking naps (she's 18 months now). One of the most important things is a bedtime routine. There is no right or wrong way, but trust me, the sooner you can get him transitioned, the easier it will be! Good luck!

[deleted account]

I've been through this. I bought the book "Sleep Solutions" by Dr ?? Ferber. It is the Ferber Method. It is a crying method, it is hard to do, REALLY HARD! But you do go in and reassure them, you don't just abandon them. It is worth it in the end. If you can get a copy of the book, chapter 4 makes it a little easier to do it explains in ways sleep deprived parents can understand. My first one used to make herself throw up because she was so upset. She is now 3 and survived. However, she does still wake through the night. I guess she's just a light sleeper. The thing I look forward to each day is the kids going to bed between 8 and 8:30 (I have a one yr old too) so I can have a break. I am a stay at home mom so that's the only break I get. I hope this is helpful, if not just to let you know your not alone.

[deleted account]

My daughter is 8 months old and we are in a similar situation. She slept in a basinet for the first 6 months and then did not transition well to a crib in her own room. We put the crib matress on our floor and that worked great until she became mobile. We now have her pack and play in our room and it is working pretty well. I wish you luck.

Sarah - posted on 07/09/2009

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I also co-slept with my son.  He just turned 2 and sleeps through the night in his own crib in his room.  I am so glad that I chose to co-sleep and slowling transition him at his own pace to his crib and room.  I recieved so much negative feedback for my choice for so long, but looking back now I am proud that I did what I felt was best for my son and I, even if it didn't go along with all of the sleep techniques you typically hear about.  My advice is to slow it down and don't feel so pressured to make it happen right now.  I once read that you don't want to force naps in the crib b/c then they have a negative feeling about crib/room and it makes night time harder if it is an already difficult place for them to be.  My son has always taken naps in the living room.  I don't really know why, but that is how it started and that's what he still does for about 2.5 hours a day.  This is what I did at night....I co-slept completely at first, then had crib in our room, eventually starting him in crib once I rocked him to sleep, then bringing him in my bed when he woke, then moving crib to his room, with same routine, bringing him in when he woke.  It gradually worked and now he sleeps through the night his his crib in his room...sometimes comes in about 5am and goes back to sleep.  Do what you feel is best and don't feel it has to come right away.  I hated the idea of CIO and felt there had to be a less traumatic way.  I just thought our system was a nice gradual transition and it worked great over time. I also read the no-cry sleep solution book that has great tips.   Hope this helps.Good luck


 

Jessica - posted on 07/09/2009

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Does your son move around a lot when he wakes up? You might be able to add some extra rails and try a toddler bed. It might work if you lay with him in his own little bed and go from there. I'm sorry your having trouble. I would hate to let my son cry to.

Helke - posted on 07/09/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

PLEASE HELP ME!!

My son is 10 months old and we have always co-slept. for the past 2.5 months, I have been trying to put him in his crib for naps, in an attempt to get him used to it so when I transitioned him for good it would not be so hard. I am being diligent about it for the first 45 min or so of his nap, but every time he wakes up and is in the crib he cries...a lot! I can get him to sleep and lay him in a BED, however, and he is in heaven. Nights are horrible, and tonight I am at my wits end. I used to be able to nurse him to sleep and lay him in his crib for 30 min-1hr and get a break. now he doesn't even go to sleep nursing. I am afraid I have messed him up letting him sleep in my bed. Please tell me if anyone else has dealt with this, and that there is a better way to get him to sleep in his crib at night than to let him cry it out...I don't think I can do that. This is my fault, and he should not have to be traumatized in order to correct it..........



put him in his crib at certain time with his favorite toy shut the door and walk away. I no that sounds mean but u need to be strong, also spray some of your perfume on the favourite toy so he can still smell your cent.

Helke - posted on 07/09/2009

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put him in his crib at certain time with his favorite toy shut the door and walk away. I no that sounds mean but u need to be strong, also spray some of your perfume on the favourite toy so he can still smell your cent.

April - posted on 07/09/2009

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Don't worry about failing, it can be frustrating when you are both exhausted and you are doing what is best for your baby. There is lots of advice here you just have to find what works for you and baby. My little one co-slept with me until 5 months. Hated the crib because he refused to sleep on his back. I had to put him on his stomach to get him to sleep in his crib and I would sleep in his room by the crib to make sure he was ok (preemie and wasn't rolling back to stomach yet - but was stomach to back). But he is 8 months now and has been in his crib ever since! We had to find a way to work it out with him.

Manda - posted on 07/09/2009

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haha posted at the same time as Christine above! The Babywhisperers.com is Tracy Hogg's website. Give it a try there's a wealth of advise and support there.
Best of luck!

Manda - posted on 07/09/2009

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There's lots of great advice here. A number of people have suggested a tshirt or item of clothing you have worn, you could also introduce a blankie or 'lovie' that way. These then become like a best friend for them and offer a comfort for when they wake. My daughter still hasn't decided between a blankie and a soft teddy yet but it's really helped since I introduced them. May be worth a try. Also try Babywhisperers.com as they have loads of mums with the same problem. You can post your problem on there and get people to help you through. As someone said above the most important thing is consistency. Whatever you decide to do you and how you do it, you must stick to it or it becomes very confusing for the little one and you wont get anywhere.
Good luck and remember there is no 'fault' so don't beat yourself up. Its just a matter of changing a habit in order for him to feel confident enough to sleep on his own in his own environment. You'll get there!

Christine - posted on 07/09/2009

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Hi, I have had the same problem with both of my girls. My oldest settled down on her own and is now a great sleeper. My youngest who is 16 months old now has never slept through the night. I know how bad it is and how guilty you feel and that you just do anything to try and get your baby settled. Believe me, so many people do the same thing. Do not feel bad about co-sleeping. I have read every book out there on sleep settling but by far is one I have just discovered which is a great book by Tracy Hogg (U.K) called The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Teaching You How To Ask The Right Questions. Half the book is dedicated to sleep and routines. She does not believe in letting your child cry itself to sleep, in fact, the complete opposite. She says to pickup your child as soon as they start to cry but put them back in the cot as soon as they stop. You do have to stop co-sleeping, walking with your child and rocking and patting. But it does work with minimal stress on your child. I wish I knew about this book with my first child. Definitely worth getting to save your sanity ! Good Luck and stop blaming yourself. We all do what we can to get through.

[deleted account]

Quoting Alisa:

I will tell you what I did for my oldest (she is 20 now) When i had the exact problem, I was so frustrated that would break down crying! My mom told me to let her cry! I thought that was cruel, but did it anyway and she stopped.


I had to do the same thing. My mom came out a visited me and helped me through it. I still had the issue off and on till she was 10 but we are good and she is awesome

Elizabeth - posted on 07/08/2009

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Lisa, I am not a cosleeper myself, so I can't speak from experience, but I did read a wonderful book by Elizabeth Pantley called the No Cry Sleep Solution. She actually addresses the transition between mom and dad's bed to a crib. I think this is probably the only book to speak to this directly.
I wish I could give you a hug! My daughter had a tough time sleeping for quite a while, so I understand your frustration. You can become obsessed with finding a solution! I was not willing to let her cry it out, so we had many sleepless nights. Some thoughts that came to me about your problem have already been suggested here, like the toddler bed, and playing in the crib so your son feels comfortable in it. ( My midwife told me she had to put her son in a toddler bed when he was very young too, because he could climb out of his cribat 11 months, so as long as you have guardrails, I think he is safe. Just make sure his room is completely babyproofed too.) What about nursing for a while in bed then going into his room when he is sleepy? Or letting him fall almost asleep in your bed then moving him? The trick I think is not letting him fall completely asleep so he actually goes to sleep in his own bed. Pantley's book addresses some of these things. You will find what works for you.
I also want you to know that the hard times fade very quickly in your memory. I bearly remember my sleepless nights, although I know that they were very difficult. Keep reminding yourself that this won't last long...soon you'll turn around and he'll be off to college. Keeping perspective kept me from breaking down many times.

Alisa - posted on 07/08/2009

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I will tell you what I did for my oldest (she is 20 now) When i had the exact problem, I was so frustrated that would break down crying! My mom told me to let her cry! I thought that was cruel, but did it anyway and she stopped.

Debralee - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hi Lisa! I used to work at a Pediatric office for 8 years before I stayed at home with my baby. Our doctor suggested putting my t-shirt that I wore for the day in the crib with him so that way he would think I was there and comforting him. - It worked for me and sometimes he would cry for awhile but after about 30-45 mins. he would be asleep! The doctors would also say to not talk or turn on the lights in his room if you had to come in during the middle of the night! - Also give him a firm look - letting him know that you mean business! I know it is hard but keep it up - you will thank yourself later when you are resting peacefully in bed!!! :)

Desirea - posted on 07/08/2009

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I coslept with both of my boys and I used the same technique to transition both. You will get very little sleep for a couple of nights but after that you should be ok. I make sure there is a solid routine, eat, bath, nurse/bottle, whatever you guys do right before bed. Lay him down. When he cries let him cry for 10 minute increments. Keep doing that all night unless of course he needs a clean diaper or its time to eat again, but resume the 10 minute thing as soon as its done. You will be exsauhsted but stick to it. He has to know you are serious. No talking either. Just pick up, cuddle for a moment, maybe a hug or a quiet I love you then right back to bed. You will probobly cry and it will get worse before it gets better; but it worked for both of my boys. Good luck mama.

Alison - posted on 07/08/2009

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It took me two weeks to get my child to sleep by her self and sometimes i still have probplems. she crys alot as well. I sit in her room for tem min then i leave and listen to her cry, but no more then one hour. always cheking in every ten to 15 min. it dose work but takes time.

Vilma - posted on 07/08/2009

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make sure the bed is on the floor and has no frame.that way if he falls ,it will be very low to the ground. i kept the bed next to the wall, and he got used to sleeping on the inside ,next to the wall.

Jenny - posted on 07/08/2009

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Lisa, if you're worried about him falling out you could always just put the mattress on the floor or use safety bumpers to hold him in. My son's upside down and backwards when he sleeps so we would have to do that too.

Veronica - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hi Lisa, firstly let me say that you aren't doing anything wrong. No matter what, you have to go with what works for you and if him being in your bed means you all get some sleep then what is wrong with that? My son is just over 2yrs and even though he does go to sleep in his cot for about 6 hours, he still ends up in bed with me sometime between 3 and 5 am! It isn't ideal but it does mean that he, my husband and myself all get some sleep. I agree with what most people have said though, it is all about routine. The only other thing I'd say is, depending on how your home is laid out, is don't bother with a monitor - I found I was reacting to every little sound he made; if he is really upset or needs us, believe me, we hear him without the aid of a monitor! Ear-muffs are also good! You will get through this and even I have to console myself with the fact that he won't want to be sleeping with his Mommy at, say, 15!! Good Luck, you will be fine.

Alejandra - posted on 07/08/2009

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That is happening to me now,,, what I do is lay him in his crib again and give him my hand,,, he takes it very stron and goes to sleep again. After 2 minuts I take my hand out and continue sleeping.

Lisa - posted on 07/08/2009

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Quoting Vilma:

hello, my son slept with me until he was 1,then i tried the crib and never slept at all.he was up every ten or 15 minutes, then i let him sleep on the spare double bed we had,one night, and he has been sleeping 10 hrs a night since that night,not eating at night either, my nurse said that he just didnt like the small space in the crib, everytime he hit the sides, he was up.so in the bed, he had more room and noone next to him to wake him up. try it!!! everynight, same time, and lights off!!!! i hope it works.


You know, Vilma, I had thought about that.  It is a pretty valid point.  I think his crib turns into a todler bed.... but is it safe?

Lisa - posted on 07/08/2009

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Quoting Vilma:

hello, my son slept with me until he was 1,then i tried the crib and never slept at all.he was up every ten or 15 minutes, then i let him sleep on the spare double bed we had,one night, and he has been sleeping 10 hrs a night since that night,not eating at night either, my nurse said that he just didnt like the small space in the crib, everytime he hit the sides, he was up.so in the bed, he had more room and noone next to him to wake him up. try it!!! everynight, same time, and lights off!!!! i hope it works.


You know, Vilma, I had thought about that.  It is a pretty valid point.  I think his crib turns into a todler bed.... but is it safe?

Vilma - posted on 07/08/2009

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hello, my son slept with me until he was 1,then i tried the crib and never slept at all.he was up every ten or 15 minutes, then i let him sleep on the spare double bed we had,one night, and he has been sleeping 10 hrs a night since that night,not eating at night either, my nurse said that he just didnt like the small space in the crib, everytime he hit the sides, he was up.so in the bed, he had more room and noone next to him to wake him up. try it!!! everynight, same time, and lights off!!!! i hope it works.

Lynette - posted on 07/08/2009

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Been there, done that. The crying out thing didn't work. It was a nightmare.

I would see your Pedtrication to rule out anything medically. Also you haven't messed him up. don't be hard on yourself. Just love him & love him some more, their only little once. I finally had to quit listening to others (not that the advice here is bad, it is all good) & listen to my instinct & what my son needed. My son is much older now & still has nighttime problems, but his are due to other things.

MarieAntoinette - posted on 07/08/2009

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don't be so hard on yourself. you are doing the best you can and experimenting to see what works best for all of you. I have an 11 1/2 month old who has slept with us since day 1. He takes naps in the crib sometimes (which we placed in our bedroom). At other times, he naps on me in the Ergo carrier. At night, we try to start him in the crib; when he wakes up in the night he comes into our bed. he is currently teething and learning so much developmentally that i feel i want him to feel safe and nurtured while he is learning and experiencing a tremendous amount at this time. i am not sure exactly when i will officially transition him to his crib, but i know i will do so with his crib in our bedroom for a while before he transitions to his own room. i wish you the best of luck as you figure out what works for you, your baby and your husband.

Fiona - posted on 07/08/2009

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you are not failing anyone its not as if your child is going to keep score if worse come to the worse put him in his bed and move to the other end of the house and turn up the tv or radio it does get easier

Marie - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hy every one. For what I have learn from my boy (16 month) is that some time when you try to force something on them they feel it and it is a catastrophe. For months he was waking up at 5am and would only go back to sleep in my bed. We tried every thing and we gave up, always proposing him to stay in his bed but not imposing. And just like that one day he slept trow the night and ever since. One thing that helped, is when i stop nursing him. Now he gets to sleep with his bottle in his crib and I feel.

[deleted account]

all this advice is great the main thing is to be persistant and consistant.... you could also try having him in a toddler bed and lying with him for a while in his own bed till he falls asleep... (I would suggest a side barrier for the bed though and a safety gate for the door) this way your scent will be in bed with him and it may have more of a similar feel to your bed..... worth a shot if all else fails....

chin up.... just think he will eventually grow out of it... can't see him sharing your bed at age 15... LOL.. good luck...

Lisa - posted on 07/08/2009

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Thanks everyone! Last night was HELL but we got through it...in my bed. I have been doing the bath book bed routine for about 2 months now, but it just seems to stimulate him. Nursing was the only thing that would be a sure knock out, but now that won't even do it. He wants to put himself to sleep by pulling on the little hairs around my face and neck!! My husband works 2 jobs, so he is too busy to really play a role with this so it is all up to me and I feel like I am failing everyone

Fiona - posted on 07/08/2009

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most of these mums have good advice the only other thing i could suggest is put something of yours that has your smell on it in the crib. and start slowlywith the crib in your room then progress to having it in a different room. another idea is during the day put him in the crib in the lounge where he is familiar. in the end though it is just tough love and you won't traumatise him

Miranda - posted on 07/08/2009

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One thing that worked for my son when I transitioned him from the bassinet in my room to the crib in his own room was to let him play in the crib during the day,just to get used to the new environment. At night I read him the same book in his dimly lit room, then place him in his crib still awake. Then I play the same cd of lullabyes to fall asleep to. It did take a few days, but he got used to the new routine and now having a routine seems to help him sleep better at night.

Crystal - posted on 07/08/2009

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My daughter is 19 months, and we had her in the bed with us from the time we brought her home, until about two months ago. I started laying her down in her crib in her room. She cried for about 45 mins the first nite and went to sleep and would wake up crying, so when she did that about three times, I went and got her and put her in the bed with us, and so the second nite I layed her in her bed, and she cried for about 20 mins. and then went to sleep and slept all night and has been sleeping in her crib in her room ever since.

Heather - posted on 07/08/2009

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Hi, I co-slept with my little guy as well, I started out with some of the same problems you mention when I transitioned him to a crib. One of the things I did was play with him in and around his crib so that he associated with it positively. I had read that the crib shouldn't just be his bed but his haven, a place he can decompress and relax so I played with him (i.e. peekaboo jumping up and laughing and then would put him in it with an interesting toy etc...) it helped with him as he did not freak out waking up in the crib because it wasn't a different or scary place and it didn't represen the end of co-sleeping either. Every now and then he has a bad night where he just cannot get back to sleep in his crib and we bring him to bed with us. However, he goes back to sleeping in his crib just fine now. I hope this helps!

Liz - posted on 07/08/2009

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he might be freaking out because when he goes to sleep your there and might expect you to still be there when he wakes try putting him in the crib when hes still awake and let him fall asleep in it if that doesnt work sorry and hope all goes well

Rachel - posted on 07/08/2009

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you could always put him in a crib in your room so he doesn't feel like he is being removed from you completely. He might feel strange being in a different environment than what he is comfortable. Once he sleeps in his crib in your room, then you can shift it. You could always record yourself reading a story on tape and when you make the transition play the tape quietly so he feels you are nearby. Remember also, tough love does work. You just gotta be consistent. He WILL play on your emotions.

VICKI - posted on 07/08/2009

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hi lisa my name is vicki i understand where u r coming from although i did not put my kidz in my bed i held them 2 sleep u just have 2 b tough and not give up b consistent with ur routine and keep it up every nite there r several books u can use i have found save our sleep by tizzie hall 2 b a fantastic guide hope all gets betta soon!

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