Please help me.. dont know the out come my mind is going crazy shes only 17 months ....

Jenny - posted on 02/17/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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You - posted 42 minutes ago ( no moms have responded yet ) 2
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i have a beutiful 17 month old daughter me and her father are going to court now he wants vistion i want sole cosdey and have a order protection on him n his mother . the thing is my whole pregancey he abused me verbaly he stated that he wanted me to abort her he would send me pics of abortion . he would tell me he should just kick me in the stomic throw me down stair pay me 5,000 to get ride of her .. when it came down to the last month we talked and he wanted to be there when she was born i believe children should have a father in there life so i also thought that him being 33 that he had a change of heart and wanted to be a father to his daughter .i called all night when i went into labor and called his mother . he was late and missed the birth of the baby because he was out drinking and gabbling . he signed the birth certifect and went on his was he went away 9 days after she was born he has not helped me suport her . he would come to my house drunk at 5 am waking her up . he also twice had us in the car while he made two drug deals which i got out of the car and toke a cab home . he wanted her to sleep at his house and all i asked was to just come up for coffee or just to drop her off to see that she was in a safe and clean place him and his mother never want me up there. i never told him he couldnt see her i just asked for him to show me he is responsable, reliable, and respectful to me and my daughter and he would be able to take her on his own and he just proved more why i shouldnt let him . we are now in court and he got arrested the police did not like how he has treated me in the passed and up to the date and took in there hands to arrest him now we are going to Integrated Domestic Violence court in new york where we live .. im just wondering him and his mother has gotten arrested for drugs in the past and i trully feel like they are not healthy for my daughter to be around .. what do you fellow mother think about this case please help me ease my mind .. I really love my daughter and only wants whats best just because her father is the way he is doesnt mean she should be brought up wrong ... i will never let her think or feel that she was a mistake ...

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Helen - posted on 02/18/2013

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from what you say here, if you can prove it, there isnt no way a court will allow him to have unsupervised custody. i thought my sons dad was bad :( im sorry your being put through this, but if the outcome is you get sole custody it will be worth it :)

Dove - posted on 02/17/2013

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Document everything, get a good lawyer, and keep the police involved getting reports and documenting every shred of abuse or drug use.

I'm so sorry. With enough evidence I wouldn't 'think' a decent judge would allow anything more than supervised visitations, but you NEED that evidence and a good lawyer. Good luck!!

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Jenny - posted on 02/18/2013

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well i stl want to look into a lawyer because i cant have this little girl in danger in anyway .. even tho i want her to have her father in her life i feel this is not the way to be in her life it can daage her more in her life then never being there at all .. theres some type of saying that goes what cry over someone you never knew and i feel like he will just be in and out of her life put gabbling girl and vactions befor her and i will have to be the one that whips her tears and try and make it up to her to get her mind off of it .. i see it already ..

Dove - posted on 02/18/2013

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They DO? Dang... wish I had gotten divorced in New York then.... would've saved several thousand dollars.

Jenny - posted on 02/18/2013

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i live in new york state they do give u one tho and i am looking into getting my own ..

Dove - posted on 02/18/2013

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Court won't give you a lawyer as it's not a criminal case.... You have to get your own lawyer. Take out a loan or borrow money or check Legal Aid in your area... something. Your daughter's future could be at stake here if you don't get a lawyer. It's 'possible' that you can do it on your own, but I wouldn't count on it when it's your child's well being at stake.

Jenny - posted on 02/18/2013

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well i kept my old phones where he has said why go one welfare when u have a drug dealer baby daddy and i put my self in this i have to put up with it on my own and he also talked about my mother canser and my dead father and how to take the baby and kick rocks but that number he had is off and it was prepaid under my phone his name is scum . but i also know he has gotton arrested for drugs and his mother and i know someone in the court house and said the judge will look it up once i say it i hope thats enough i have two police reporant from the passed month but nothing from then besides the phones.. but i have reported him to the drug force in my state and they are watchen him and just waitting toget enough on him to get him... i have my mom that can write a letter because she was hear one night that he rang the bell and didnt stop for 10 mins the baby was 9 months woke up crying and now everytime the bell rings she still jumps .. i dont know i am going to try and get as much as i can .. his mother always say how pu**y has no face in front of me and my daughter and one of the cops slipped and told me she was arrested also for prostation i cant have that around my daughter if both have no respect for woman n she see the was he treats not only me but other woman she will think its ok for her to be treated that way .. as for a lawyer i cant efford one i will have to get a court ordered one ..

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