Please help, my baby hates her car seat!

[deleted account] ( 100 moms have responded )

First off I'd like to say thanks for taking the time to read my post. I need help figuring out what to do with my 9 week old baby girl who hates to be in her carseat. Everytime we go for a drive she cries and cries. If her dad isn't with me (so I can climb back and give her a bottle or comfort her) she cries so hard she can't breathe. I end up having to pull over, take her out of her seat and cuddle her until she starts to breathe normal again which sometimes takes 30 min or more. I feel so bad for her and I don't know what to do or why she is like this. Sometimes when I am in a hurry or have to be somewhere important at a certain time I end up driving with my arm reached in the back holding a bottle in her mouth. I think is dangerous but I have no choice what else can I do. I've tried letteing her cry but when she stops taking breaths I feel I have to help her. Has anyone experienced the same thing or know what I should do to help her like the car? I can only drive for 5 min before I have to stop, take her out of her carseat, cuddle her until she is calm, then put her back and start all over again. This is very inconvenient and makes me not even want to leave the house anymore so please if anyone has advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you

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Yupawadee(Bird) - posted on 07/12/2009

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some people have mentioned REFLUX and I thought I may add a little advice which has worked for many of the children I have cared for over the years, try cranial osteopathy. It seems that most babies born C-Section suffer bad colic and reflux moreso than natural born babies. I know this is irrelevant to this topic but thought it may help.

Michele - posted on 07/01/2011

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My daughter has a almost three week old, and we just took a trip to town and back and it was a nightmare. Poor little guy, freaks as soon as she buckles him in. We tried readjusting seat belts, stopping and nursing him, bottle, pacifier, everything. He screamed until he had trouble catching his breath. Finally she started bouncing him and he stopped, we happened to get a free can of formula and made a bottle en route and he finally allowed us to move forward and get home. Will try that putting him in the seat in the house and giving him a bottle and rocking him to sleep. She is blessed to have either me or her husband drive while she is in the back, but he still freaks each time he is in the seat. So, we do understand a bit of what you are going through and will pray for a solution for all of these precious ones. It is wonderful to know she is not alone.

Kelly - posted on 06/15/2009

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My son was the same way! If I was sitting in the back of the car he was fine. I think he was bored because after he was able to hold a toy he was fine. I seriously would be crying in the car with him. I remember being stuck on a freeway at a dead stop because Madonna was playing at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles. I could not move and I was singing, crying, talking, praying and stuck. I am sorry that you are facing this as it is a difficult situation. I wish I had magic words but the only thing that worked for us was time. He did this for about a month. Hang in there and I hope time works on your side too!

[deleted account]

we ended up having to buy a new carseat because the problem just kept getting worse. We tried a couple and the one that was shaped similar to the bucket seat (C shape) didn't work but the one that was way more upright (L shape) worked great. She still doesn't like the carseat but we can go for drives without having any meltdowns. The longer the trip the worse she gets but we can now do most things just fine. She has also started to play with toys and has descovered her hands so she does occupy herself more now. She can also see much better and will look through the mirror at me and smile/giggle so I think she is more aware that I am still in the car and not far away. Thanks for everyones help with this topic. I appreciated it so much and I am relieved I, for the most part, have found a solution.

Rocio - posted on 06/04/2009

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I have a 2 month old. He does nothing but cry when he's in his seat. So we ended up doing the same as we use to do with my daughter. We strap him in as usual. then we have a very thin blanket which we lay over him and tuck it in on the side and sort of under him ( his hands are also tucked in) this for us works wonders. We realized that when he was in his seat he would kinda startle himself ( if either he was bout to fall asleep or was just relaxing... Yah right) and his arms would fling up in the air. Then the minute we started to do this he started to calm down. He whines still in the beginning but then I start to drive n it stops. I hope this works for you. Please let me know:)

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Yupawadee(Bird) - posted on 07/12/2009

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also any luck? it's been over a month since the start of this thread, would be great for an update and anything you have learned in this time may help out another parent. thannks

Kylie - posted on 06/22/2009

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I had the same problem with my baby boy from 1-3 months..we worked out he hated the bright sunlight in his eyes that came through the back window so we bought some window socks and shades and we also took down the toys we had hanging around him so he didn't feel so closed in and it worked. He still cries on some long trips and we need to pull over and have a cuddle and a feed because i cannot stand sitting in the car listening to him scream for me..i get agitated and nervous.

Kylie - posted on 06/22/2009

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I had the same problem with my baby boy from 1-3 months..we worked out he hated the bright sunlight in his eyes that came through the back window so we bought some window socks and shades and we also took down the toys we had hanging around him so he didn't feel so closed in and it worked. He still cries on some long trips and we need to pull over and have a cuddle and a feed because i cannot stand sitting in the car listening to him scream for me..i get agitated and nervous.

Lisa - posted on 06/22/2009

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You have had alot of people respond to this so I hope you take the time to read this. My now 7 year old went through very trying time his first say 2 years. The day we brought him home from the hospital he cried. Not in the car seat but in a moving vehicle. You need to make the distinction is it the vehicle or the seat. He loved being in the car seat when in the house he could see everything going on in the house but put him in the car that was another story. Finally we got a doctor who agreed with us that he was getting car sick. We did some searching found a new vehicle with higher seats and got a new car seat so he could see out the windows and that helped but did not fully stop the problems. Eventually as he got older he just outgrew it. We made the best of it, tried to get him to sleep before in the car etc. etc. But finding out if it is the seat or the car will at least start you in the right direction for finding a cure for you both.

[deleted account]

My child had the same problem and, as another poster has said, she had reflux really bad. She gets car sick now really bad too so I wonder if it didn't make her belly hurt to ride in the car. Nobody told me about reflux being the reason why they would not want to ride in the car so I never made the connection and the poor kid had to suffer until she was able to ride in a forward facing seat (which seemed to solve the problem). I'd look into the anti-reflux meds with your doctor.

Tina - posted on 06/15/2009

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I had the same problem with my daughter. We would avoid long drives unless we were both in the car so my husband could drive and I sat in the back with her. We even took her out of her seat a few times. She was much better once she turned around but still doesn't like cars much. I think she gets car sick from the motion. I've found that giving her a snack or a cup of water for the car rides helps. Good luck!

Mel - posted on 06/13/2009

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Quoting Vanessa:



Quoting Kathleen:

Just to clarify, the original poster (Vanessa) never said she has no license! It was in someone else's post (Melissa) that said that, and it sounds as if it was a problem in the past, but not now. And Vanessa has already posted she will not be turning the baby around face-forward until the required age/weight. Relax, ladies.






Thanks for the support Kathleen, I am the origional poster and I live in Canada. It's the law here to leave your baby rear facing until at least 1year and 22lbs. I have absolutely no intention of  turning my baby around. And obviously I would not be driving the most precious piece of cargo arould illegally... Yes I do have a drivers licence. The only thing I was debating is weather or not to get a convertable seat but I would definetly keep it rear facing. In defence to one lady who said to turn baby around she also said in Australia they turn at 6-8kg so that would be the norm to them. But I don't support the no licence and can't believe someone would do that.





 



yes it is 6-8 kilos here in aus. with the no licence thing i respect that others may disagree with my decision but it was either that or let my baby starve when her NG tube came out and back when i was not putting it in myself i had to get 30 mins away to hospital which was lots of bus trips and hours of travel. so getting on the bus with a screaming hungry child who had not been fed since te night before wouldnt be very good and would have just made her drop weight by not driving her there and getting her fed asap. also her child health nurse appointments were about a 2 minute drive and there wanst a bus from mine tehre so of course it made mcuh more sense to drive there. i couldnt afford to get a licence, however after a program im involved in paid for it i went and got it

Tamara - posted on 06/13/2009

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Quoting Beth:

http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/articles/gen...

Train her to like it.


OP, please ignore this advice.  The Pearls are on par with the Ezzos for abusive childhood parenting techniques.  Please do not do anything in the aforementioned link as it can very well harm your child.

Briana - posted on 06/13/2009

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My son hated it sometimes, but when he got about 2 or 3 months, he would pass out after we would start moving. I think i have the same rainforest mirror u have, but i used his in his crib. Can he see himself in the mirror when u put it up? Also, do you have an infant headband for the carseat? At target they sell the headrest band thing in 2's, 1 when they are really small, and then 1 when they get a little bigger. I would put both of them together, so, it'll give her better comfort. Also, keep on trying the blanket thing (when she's in the carseat, wrap it around her so her arms aren't moving everywhere). This makes her more snug, and calms her. The same effect of you actually holding her. I would also put her in the carseat in the house while you're just about to leave, and have someone hold a bottle up and feed her before you leave, but IN her carseat. That way she'll fall asleep in her seat, so, when u take off, she won't be irritated. The carseat might be uncomfortable to her, but instead of buying a new carseat, you can take the cloth part off of it, and see the foam in there. What I did was change out the foam, so, it was thicker, and more comfortable for my son. It saves a lot of time and money. I know they say don't prop up bottles, but i would prop up his bottle sometimes when he was that young, because his arms aren't flapping everywhere trying to reach for it, it never gets knocked down. But yeaa... I think if you do these to try helping, it'll work.. My son will be 1 year old on Monday, and it's still a little fuss getting him in the carseat, but no more fussing while I drive. Hope this helps!

Brandy - posted on 06/12/2009

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Is it possible to borrow a different brand of seat to try it out? My son was the same way,but only with a certain seat! The graco snug ride ended up being the winner! Does her head tilt? Maybe when she is drinking the bottle it keeps her working to keep her head into a more comfortable position.

Unfortunately, you may have a baby that absolutely can not stand to be in a car. I know- not what you want to hear :(. A friend had a baby that was like that. I think he calmed down by the 12 week.

Catherine - posted on 06/12/2009

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I had the same issues and now he is 7 months and loves the car and carseat. It lasted for about 4 months...what worked for us was the Rockabye Baby - Lullaby Renditions of the Beatles. I still use it now if he's fussy and it calms him right down. Hope it helps!

Pauline - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.

By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.

Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)

You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.



But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.



Smile ladies.



These ladies are trying to help here,no need to criticise!



Have you ever dealt with a baby who has reflux? They scream almost 20hrs out the 24hr day!



Its worse when you are in the car because you are separated from them,and if they are in pain from reflux then they do need attention and care!



Obvously your very confident wht your opinions but unless you have dealt with the situation itself,do not comment!



 



To the lady who has the problem with the car seat(sorry,didnt catch your name)



My son had the same problem,he would scream the minute he was put in it!



He also suffered from reflux,and after he was perscribed infant gaviscon,he changed over night!



Maybe check the treatment you have her on is the right thing for her,apparantly there are loads to try!



Also,i got into the habit(mainly because he screamed almost the whole time we went anywhere) of feeding him before you leave the house,so that you have a window of time that allows you do what you need to do and still be able to help her if needed.I stopped feeding my son outside our house because he would litterly scream through it,and ia couldnt take the stares that poeple passing by geve me!



However,since he has been put on to infant gaviscon,he is SOOOOOOO much better,and is able to be happy at last.poor wee lamb.



 

Katrina - posted on 06/11/2009

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A lot of babies will start doing this when a parent is out of sight. Also some don't like the infant seat. As someone studying to be a car seat tech. Do not ever turn around early. Babies have been injured or killed. Their neck muscles and bones are not ready for such impact in a car accident.
My daughter hated the infant seat. But as soon as we bought the larger more roomy convertable she loves car rides.
This is a video of rear facing vs. Forward facing. look at what happens to the neck.



http://www.joelsjourney.org/index.html

Little boy who broke neck because he was FFing in the car seat.



Okay since I guess it won't let me put up Youtube video's look up Rear facing vs. Forward facing.

Debbii - posted on 06/11/2009

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i accidentally discovered this one when we moved the seat from car to car. bring the seat inside and place her in it. as you move from room to room take the seat with you always making sure she can see you or hear you. if/when she gets upset take her out and hug her talking all the time. then when she is calm put her back. it may take a few days for her to desensitise and that means you can't drive until she is. giving her a bottle is encouraging comfort eating as she gets older so while YOU feel better it's not good for her.

you may even find it is not the seat but the car!

Tiffany - posted on 06/11/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.

By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.

Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)

You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.



But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.



Smile ladies.


OH WOW!!  Babies this young are not capable of being that manipulative - they cry when they need something, whether it is food, diaper check, or just plain comfort from someone holding them. 



 



That being said, I am so sorry for your screaming baby problem!  I had the same issue with my daughter and it made car trips, even short ones, a nightmare.  I'm glad to see that you know not to put your little one forward facing until she's at least 1 and 20 lbs, and preferably even longer.  One thing I would like to point out about the toys on the carseat is that an infant seat handle should be ALL the way down when in the car, making toys there a moot point. 



 



I moved my daughter up to the Alpha Omega convertible seat you were asking about when she was about 6 months old.  It has been a great seat, but I would not recommend it for younger newborns.  You mentioned that your little girl is having problems with reflux and that is why you want to have her more upright, but at 3.5 gestational weeks, she's just not ready for beign THAT upright.  If a pacifier is working (when she keeps it in), that is your best option.  I used a nuk that had a little handle on it, and strung it onto the corner of a receiving blanket.  Then I tucked the blanket into the straps of the carrier so that the end of it was hanging out by her hands and the top part with the nuk on it was "stuck" by her mouth - even if she spit it out, it was right there :)  I also "swaddled" her by tucking blankets around her tightly, and that helped a great deal as well! 



I'm sorry to report that while she did grow out of it, it took several months and there were plenty of trips where we were both in tears.  As if travelling with little ones isn't hadr enough! :)  Good luck!!!

Tiffany - posted on 06/11/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.

By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.

Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)

You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.



But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.



Smile ladies.


OH WOW!!  Babies this young are not capable of being that manipulative - they cry when they need something, whether it is food, diaper check, or just plain comfort from someone holding them. 



 



That being said, I am so sorry for your screaming baby problem!  I had the same issue with my daughter and it made car trips, even short ones, a nightmare.  I'm glad to see that you know not to put your little one forward facing until she's at least 1 and 20 lbs, and preferably even longer.  One thing I would like to point out about the toys on the carseat is that an infant seat handle should be ALL the way down when in the car, making toys there a moot point. 



 



I moved my daughter up to the Alpha Omega convertible seat you were asking about when she was about 6 months old.  It has been a great seat, but I would not recommend it for younger newborns.  You mentioned that your little girl is having problems with reflux and that is why you want to have her more upright, but at 3.5 gestational weeks, she's just not ready for beign THAT upright.  If a pacifier is working (when she keeps it in), that is your best option.  I used a nuk that had a little handle on it, and strung it onto the corner of a receiving blanket.  Then I tucked the blanket into the straps of the carrier so that the end of it was hanging out by her hands and the top part with the nuk on it was "stuck" by her mouth - even if she spit it out, it was right there :)  I also "swaddled" her by tucking blankets around her tightly, and that helped a great deal as well! 



I'm sorry to report that while she did grow out of it, it took several months and there were plenty of trips where we were both in tears.  As if travelling with little ones isn't hadr enough! :)  Good luck!!!

Vicky - posted on 06/11/2009

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hi, my little lady did the same thing when she was new, she's now 6 months and totally ok with the car seat - for about 30 mins max, then she's had enough and lets you know. i think toys are a great idea, to distract, but also if your expecting her to kick off when you get in the car she'll know this and be stressed out before she gets in the seat. with a lot of things with babies if you can act as if everythings fine and breath deeply they will feel happier and perhaps get used to something they don't like. also try putting her in the car seat in ur home and play with her - make it a fun time, then she''s associate it differently. hope any of these tips work

F - posted on 06/11/2009

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My daughter could cry the entire ride home(1 hour at least!!!) On occasion I stopped and nursed her(i think that's what she really wanted). Otherwise, I found that if I put my hand on her thigh and patted her, she'd stop crying. I didnt even have to pat, once she felt the pressure of my hand she was fine.

Cathralynn - posted on 06/11/2009

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Quoting Vanessa:

To all the moms whos babies got better when they were forward facing, did you guys happen to try your babies in the convertable (3 in 1) carseats but still rear facing? I'm wondering if it's the carseat that makes these babies happy because they are more upright. I know it's safet in the bucket seat but if it helps her I will put her rear facing in a 3 in 1 carseat. It's an expense that I'd rather avoid right now if it's not going to help but I will definetly buy one if it will. Maybe I can find someone who can lend me one for an hour to see if it works. What are everyone's favorite convertable carseats for little babies? Thanks again everyone for all your help. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this nightmare.



Pop her in a rear facing convertable carseat in the store.  You know the display one?  See if you notice a change before you buy it.  My daughter only didn't like the strapping in part.  Once she hit a year, she was 20lbs before that, we switched to forward facing convertable and she loooved it.  I think it had to do with only being strapped in the car.  She hated to be strapped in the house and then transported.  Of course she loves looking around too.



Also I know my daughter hated the sun in her eyes and for the same reason hated nightime cause of the headlights.  We put a blanket up.  And they make these toys that hook on things that you tug and play music.  My daughter loved it and you can pull it for your baby that can't do it herself.

Natalie - posted on 06/11/2009

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hi hun have u tried toys rattle for your baby even your own voice sing it used to work for me or try and get a sounds of the womb cd i still have mine off when i had my son if u would like it email me your adress hun ill gladly send u it my adres is natalie29a@yuahoo.co.uk xx

Lucy - posted on 06/11/2009

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I've been really interested to read these posts, i live in the UK and here the only rear facing car seats are the ones for relatively new babies, upto around 6months of age. After this the only car seats you can buy are forward facing ones. How different things are across the ocean!

Lindsey - posted on 06/11/2009

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I HATE to tell you this but the worst thing you can do is pull over or climb in the back, give her a bottle etc....she will come to EXPECT this from you and in turn worsen your problem. I know it's SOOO hard but the best thing you can do in my opinion (as long as she is safe and nothing is hurting her), drive on....play some soothing music, hang toys, sing to her, talk to her in a calm tone...all those are things you can do to help her without altering your drive...TRUST me, as my son did the SAME thing, she WILL eventaully grow out of it and realize that no amount of fussing will get her out of a ride in the car...she'll leran to like it...you may consider your car seat...does it have good ratings in general? If so...I say again...DRIVE ON MY FRIEND! =) Good Luck

Keri - posted on 06/11/2009

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Quoting Maureen:

I'm a pediatric nurse practitioner. My child too cried every time I put him in the carseat. There's NO other option than to let her cry. If you keep stopping or giving her a bottle, you're rewarding the behavior and she'll keep crying. She can't harm herself breathing fast or even until her color turns pale because her body will instinctively protect her. She WILL stop crying eventually if she gets no reward from it. One thing that worked for me...was to start singing very loud and this sometimes startled my child to listen and stop crying. It sure looks funny though to other drivers watching you!


At 9 weeks old you aren't rewarding a baby for bad behaviore by picking it up.  You are reasuring the baby that you are still there and her world is safe.  If the child was a year old I would agree with you, but at 9 weeks the baby doens't know anything about rewards.  It just knows it is not happy for one reason or another.  We really need to find out why the baby is not happy and see what we can do about it.  I have tried readjusting my child straps and hanging toys from her car seat.  It works some, but not a lot.  Next I am going to try a different seat to see if it is more comfortable for her.  I am really surprised you are a nurse and you said that.



Keri

Keri - posted on 06/11/2009

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I feel your pain and frustration. My baby just turned 4 months and she screams in the car too. I also end up reaching into the back seat to hold a paci in her mouth. If I can, I take my husbands car, so I can put her in the front seat next to me. It doesn't have a passenger side air bag. I have found that hanging links from her seat helps some, but not a whole lot. Please don't turn her around until she is at least 12 months old and weighs 20 pounds. The longer she can remain facing backwards the better. I wish I had some great suggestions for you, but I really don't. Hang in there. I keep hoping my daughter will out grow the problem, but so far it hasn't happened.

Maureen - posted on 06/11/2009

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I'm a pediatric nurse practitioner. My child too cried every time I put him in the carseat. There's NO other option than to let her cry. If you keep stopping or giving her a bottle, you're rewarding the behavior and she'll keep crying. She can't harm herself breathing fast or even until her color turns pale because her body will instinctively protect her. She WILL stop crying eventually if she gets no reward from it. One thing that worked for me...was to start singing very loud and this sometimes startled my child to listen and stop crying. It sure looks funny though to other drivers watching you!

Yvonne - posted on 06/11/2009

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Althought my son was fine during the first 10 months or so, he hates the carseat now at 15 months. I've tried putting the carseat in the front passenger seat so that he sees me all the time and it worked. I also put on calming tunes to distract him. At 2 months they normally fall asleep of being in the car seat for 5 minutes. They also sense our energy of pannick or despair so if you are calm then it should ripple onto her. Try the fronmt seat and the tunes, good luck!

Jasmin - posted on 06/10/2009

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yes i know you weren't the one to say you didn't have a license, I was posting a comment to the lady from Australia.

[deleted account]

To everyone who's babies are freaking in the carseat and are still in the infant seat, I bought a convertable carseat for my daughter and she is cured. It's been two days and she has not freaked once. It is ovviously still rear facing but she is so much happier. I'm guessing it's the angle. Good luck to the other moms out there dealing with this.

Cathi - posted on 06/09/2009

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I had to position Gavin so I could reach back with one hand and rock the car seat. It wasn't the easiest but it did help most times...

[deleted account]

Quoting Kathleen:

Just to clarify, the original poster (Vanessa) never said she has no license! It was in someone else's post (Melissa) that said that, and it sounds as if it was a problem in the past, but not now. And Vanessa has already posted she will not be turning the baby around face-forward until the required age/weight. Relax, ladies.



Thanks for the support Kathleen, I am the origional poster and I live in Canada. It's the law here to leave your baby rear facing until at least 1year and 22lbs. I have absolutely no intention of  turning my baby around. And obviously I would not be driving the most precious piece of cargo arould illegally... Yes I do have a drivers licence. The only thing I was debating is weather or not to get a convertable seat but I would definetly keep it rear facing. In defence to one lady who said to turn baby around she also said in Australia they turn at 6-8kg so that would be the norm to them. But I don't support the no licence and can't believe someone would do that.

Debbie - posted on 06/08/2009

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have u checked to make sure you are not doing the seatbelt up to tight? i have heard of people thinking their child hates the seat,but they were just doing it up to tight.

Sarah - posted on 06/08/2009

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have you tried having someone sit in the back and just talk to her while you are driving? that might help my daughters both are okay with there car seats now that they are in forward facing ones. they just wanted to see everything but i can see how you are so troubled because your is way to young to turn around :(

Nicole - posted on 06/08/2009

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Hey, I had this problem just today with my eight month old. She acts like the seat is an iron maiden. In the back of the van, I had to dangle my breast so she could nurse in transit >:( It was an evil balancing act. I resorted to this because there was no satisfying her after 45 minutes of fit throwing. I would have given her a bottle of pumped breastmilk but if I am anywhere near she won't take it. Sorry I don't have any help, but I sympathize completely. My charming sister took a video of the madness. So charming siblings are...

Kathleen - posted on 06/08/2009

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Just to clarify, the original poster (Vanessa) never said she has no license! It was in someone else's post (Melissa) that said that, and it sounds as if it was a problem in the past, but not now. And Vanessa has already posted she will not be turning the baby around face-forward until the required age/weight. Relax, ladies.

Jasmin - posted on 06/08/2009

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lol good tip a 4 mnth old baby does not need to be facing forward, and especially if you have no license your asking to get pulled over. Not a very smart idea neither one of them at that.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/08/2009

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My son did the same thing! I dreaded going anywhere. Singing helped us. He liked music! When he was old enough to sit up and look out in a carseat it got much better! Hang in there!

Kim - posted on 06/08/2009

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You are not alone. My twelve year old daughter was the same way. She even started climbing out of the car seats after she learned how to get out. She even manged to climb out of the five star seat that people claim kids can't climb out of. Just hang in there, I use to have to drive with my arm reached back to. It is hard and frustrating. I wish I could give you good advice but I never got her to understand she needed to stay in a seat until she was around 6 or 7.

Natasha - posted on 06/08/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.

By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.

Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)

You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.



But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.



Smile ladies.


My other half is 38 years old and is perfectly able to soothe himself.  A 9 week old baby isn't.  Attending to a babies needs and soothing a baby when she is upset or in a state is NOT being a bad mommy.



 



There is some great advice here.  Don't feel like a bad mommy because you want to soothe and cuddle your baby when she cries.  That's what we're here for.   I am sorry I can't offer advice on the original problem but luckily for me my daughter doesn't mind her car seat.  We give her a pacifier and have some toys to keep her attention.  This is temporary...eventually she will settle down

Shyla - posted on 06/08/2009

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Hey I know what your going through. I have a suggestion. She is crying because she can't see you and she is scared that you aren't there. See she sees you at home and knows that she can always see you at home and when you get in the car she can't see you. At home just put her in her care seat and turn here around so she can here you but not see you and go about your dayley routine and she will eventually she will stop crying and you aren't being a bad mom for that. But that is a hard one. Hope you get it fingured out. Good luck.

Yupawadee(Bird) - posted on 06/08/2009

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I am wondering if she only dislikes the car seat? eg does she also dislike the high chair or being strapped into the stroller or pram? could it be that she is just more used to having you on call, I read from an earlier post that she was premature? I have found that with lots of prem babies parents are just that tiny bit more protective and anxious so any little whimper and the parent is there, I am not saying that you are like this. As a rule dont respond to her every cry unless it is a pain one otherwise you are teaching her that you are at her beck and call and if she fusses enough you'll give in. She needs to learn independance and will soon learn to occupy herself.
Does she had a dummy/pacifier?it may help, or something with your scent on like a comfy top that she can hold.

DO NOT GIVE UP!! this is for the safety of you and your child. She will learn that she has to sit in her car seat, my sister-in-law made her 4 month daughter have meals in her chair to get her used to it. But she was not a strict mum and I was disturbed to learn that my niece used to get herself out of the chair and not get reprimanded, they took back 6 car seats in a 18 month period as they kept blaming the car seat manufacturers as she was always able to get herself out.
Safety first and good luck, she is after all only 9 weeks old and this is a scary big world for her, imagine how you would feel.

Linzy - posted on 06/08/2009

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I have the same issue with my 3 month old. wow, i thought i was the only one.

we've always made sure to adjust the straps according to his growth and kept them a little bit loser that the suggested 2 fingers... i'm also careful to adjust his pant legs etc.

i recently bought a rear view mirror - so i can see his reactions... we can't always stop, so its ok to let your child cry for a while to get to your destination... i also try to put him in at the very last minute, when he's alseep. it seems to be working better now, with the mirror and the toy on the car seat.... good luck.

Kathleen - posted on 06/07/2009

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I also had an infant that hated the car seat, from the day we brought her home. Of course they are too young for toys or even voice soothing. The one thing I did that seemed to help the most was folding a thin (recieving) blanket and putting it underneath her. My guess was that her poor tiny body wasn't handling the bumps very well. It didn't make it stop altogether, but it sure did help. Also, getting her used to the seat at home and in the stroller helped too, but it wasn't until 3-4 months that she really started to get better in the car. I wasn't able to go farther than 20 minutes from home until then! Try putting something soft under her and see if it helps. And always remember, this is a short stage, and it will pass. It will seem like forever, but in the grand scheme of things, a few weeks is so short. Good luck!

Jacklynn - posted on 06/07/2009

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I'm so sorry to hear that, but I have to say it's oddly comforting to see that so many other moms have had this problem. My son has HATED his car seat from day one. (And I got so sick of hearing how everyone else's kid just loved the car seat!) For the first 5-6 months of his life he screamed every time we put him in and didn't stop until we got him out at our destination. No exceptions. So, needless to say we didn't go very far. Every once in awhile he would fall asleep, but if he woke up while he was still in the car, all hell would break loose. I tried toys, sitting with him, pacifiers, EVERYTHING....nothing worked. The max I'll let him scream in the car seat is about 15 minutes. If it's longer than that, I stop, calm him down, and then go on my way again.

He is now 9 months old. At about 7 months, I actually started leaning over the car set to nurse him when he gets really upset (of course someone else is driving). I still do that during desperate times and it always works. We also put a DVD player in the car (something I said I would never do!) with a Baby Einstein video and that helps at times. I also have a classics CD that sometimes really works to soothe him to sleep.

I would not recommend turning your daughter around yet. She's much too young and even when my son is screaming his safety still comes first. In my state, the law says 20 lbs. and 1 year. BUT my pediatrician says we should wait as long as possible for the best safety environment in the car, which is my primary concern. He kept his own son turned backward until he was 16 months.

I think you'll find that one thing won't work every time. Every child is different and always changing so just keep trying new things. I'm still dealing with this issue, but I keep reminding myself that this tough time will pass. Hang in there!!

Jessica - posted on 06/07/2009

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Hi,

I wanted to respond to this because I have had the same issue for months now. My daughter is now 5 months and has been doing the same thing since 8 weeks old. I so know how you feel! I couldn't understand what was going on, because before this started, the car was one of the only things she did like!

It has gotten A LOT better though. The screaming is now just a lighter cry/sobbing.

What I did was I went out and bought a portable DVD player for her. I just stick it in-between the car seat and the back of the car. I put on a Baby Einstein dvd and it has helped tremendously! Now, I don't know how you feel about babies and tv, so this may not be an option for you, but for us it was a saving grace! It doesn't always work though, I still get those trips where she cries for anywhere up to 1 hour! However, it does help her to fall asleep most of the time or just occupy her and things are much, much better with it!

I think this is just honestly something they will have to grow out of... the question is when?! lol

Good luck to you!! I hope it gets better!

Mary - posted on 06/07/2009

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Wow....what a variety of responses, and some are just downright scary!! My daughter, who was full term, and does not have reflux, hated the car seat as well. I was so envious of people whose babies would sleep for hours in theirs, or who could just pop them in & take them for a spin around the block to get them to nap. NOT my girl!! :( She hated being strapped in, & would scream bloody murder as soon as she was even placed in hers. There was no going to lunch with the girls while my angel snoozed peacefully...it was very limiting, and isolating. They only thing she didn't mind was when I took her for walks (my Graco safeseat snapped into my BOB stroller). For us, it was a question of time....eventually, at around 4 months, she got better about it. She will sit in the backseat now & babble away, or play with a toy. She may nap a little in the car, but never for very long like a lot of babies do. (she's 6.5 mo now). Hopefully, your LO will eventually outgrow this too...it may be aquestion of waiting it out until she is old enough to self-entertain with toys. I do think you should consult your ped about recommendations in case it is truly a physical problem. DO NOT turn her around!



I wish you all the best....these 1st few months are HARD, probably more so with a preemie, but they DO get better!!

Tamara - posted on 06/06/2009

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Quoting Cindy:

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.

By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.

Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)

You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.



But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.



Smile ladies.


Actually, yes, if my beloved is upset, I will run to him and do my best to meet his need for comfort, even if that means pulling over and stopping the car.  I see no problem with doing the same for my child.

Cathy - posted on 06/06/2009

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if she seems hungry while you are driving you can try giving her a full bottle before you leave and hopefully she will sleep.it could be that maybe she can't see you. my son does that now cried in the car if yo don;t look at him and when you look at him he stops. you can also try toys that you can have in the car.maybe a mirror to so she can look at herself.stay strong she won;t always be like that. you just need to find what makes her happy in car so you can run your errands

Tammy - posted on 06/06/2009

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the movie players worked wonders - good investment!! My kids are so intertained my movies now - especially the baby einstein's at that age...good luck - i know what you are going through! my first son was like that...also, may want to loosen the belts...and the little mirror/toys that strap to the back of the seat...

Casey - posted on 06/06/2009

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everyone seems to have great ideas, with some exceptions. you're baby as you said is premature. she more than likely just needs time to adapt.

loud radios are damaging to both your ears.

Swaddling baby may help.

Please don't turn her around.



Buy some ear plugs if it's a short trip it won't hurt baby to cry. maybe if she sees there's no affect she'll get used to it. No one will think you are a bad mom for letting your child cry.

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