Please help, my baby hates her car seat!

Tamara - posted on 06/06/2009

Quoting Cindy:

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.

By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.

Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)

You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.



But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.



Smile ladies.

Actually, yes, if my beloved is upset, I will run to him and do my best to meet his need for comfort, even if that means pulling over and stopping the car.  I see no problem with doing the same for my child.

Cathy - posted on 06/06/2009

if she seems hungry while you are driving you can try giving her a full bottle before you leave and hopefully she will sleep.it could be that maybe she can't see you. my son does that now cried in the car if yo don;t look at him and when you look at him he stops. you can also try toys that you can have in the car.maybe a mirror to so she can look at herself.stay strong she won;t always be like that. you just need to find what makes her happy in car so you can run your errands

Tammy - posted on 06/06/2009

the movie players worked wonders - good investment!! My kids are so intertained my movies now - especially the baby einstein's at that age...good luck - i know what you are going through! my first son was like that...also, may want to loosen the belts...and the little mirror/toys that strap to the back of the seat...

Casey - posted on 06/06/2009

everyone seems to have great ideas, with some exceptions. you're baby as you said is premature. she more than likely just needs time to adapt.

loud radios are damaging to both your ears.

Swaddling baby may help.

Please don't turn her around.



Buy some ear plugs if it's a short trip it won't hurt baby to cry. maybe if she sees there's no affect she'll get used to it. No one will think you are a bad mom for letting your child cry.

Vanessa - posted on 06/06/2009

ya she did have the carseat test before she went home and she had no problems with it.

Andrea - posted on 06/06/2009

One more thing I forgot to add... did her NICU do a carseat breathing test? The test should be done for at least a hour or double the amount of time that it takes to drive home (if longer than a hour away), it is proformed to make sure that your child can breath normally and doesn't have problems in the seat. If the test wasn't proformed at all or for that long it is something you diffently want to bring up to you Peds.

Andrea - posted on 06/06/2009

My daughter was a preemie too (10 weeks) and she used to cry all the time when we would go anywhere. We had a mirror up so I could see her and she can look at it too. I also noticed with my DD is that she likes her harness a little bit snug, not really tight but snug and will get mad if it is just a little bit loss (she craves pressure). Preemies sometimes feel things differently because the immaturity of the nervous system (mine has Sensory Intergration Disorder which is common among preemies and usually goes away by about 2 years old). Try getting a slightly course or very soft blanket for her to be able to touch. Is your daughter sensitive to touch? If she is sensitive to touch if might also be that the pressure of the harness is to much for her to deal with... you could try those harness covers that are for the shoulders to make it easier for her to feel. If she really likes to be held tight ( sensory seekers) try something called Hand Hugs, that is were you go up and down the arms and legs by gently applying pressure by squeezing. It would make my DD go to sleep while we were driving. Good luck.

Cindy - posted on 06/06/2009

I'm sorry ladies. But I look at all the posts and all I see is BABY GOT YOU TRAINED. BABY cries you run to the rescue. Bad mommies.


By all means bring car seat in the house and put baby in it. But leave her there. If you are going for a walk put baby in car seat and walk. You are the boss, not baby.


Sure, acid reflux, you scream hard enough, you'll puke too. Give her drugs for the reflux and keep her in the seat. Heck put watered down pablum in the bottle and go (not my idea, it was a post earlier this week)


You might want to check for motion sickness, you never know.





But honestly Ladies, you are being played by your babies. If your "better half" cries do you run to them and cuddle, do you stop the car? nope.





Smile ladies.

Claire - posted on 06/06/2009

HI

I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM IT WAS CAUSED BY ACID REFLUX. ACID IN THE STOMACHE CANT SETTLE WHILE BABY IS IN THAT POSSITION IN THE CAR SEAT. SEVERE BURNING FEELING CAUSING THE CRYING. I USED INFANT GAVISCON IT WORKED A TREAT

XXXXXX

Kelli - posted on 06/06/2009

My daughter is just over 8 weeks and has the same issue. She also has really bad reflux, so once she starts crying, it triggers her reflux and makes it worse.

I've been trying to make the carseat a more positive association by playing with her in it for a few minutes every day...putting her in it for a short nap...things like that. I also give her a pacifier because that helps with her reflux while she's in it. We had the same problem with EVERYTHING (her swing, bouncer chair, carseat, etc.) and it has worked so far with her swing. We're still working on the bouncer and carseat. I can guarantee you that a lot of it IS her reflux and will likely get better with time or a convertible carseat when she's older.

Yvette - posted on 06/06/2009

Hi I have had children not liking their car seats. I don't know what possibililty you have to move the car seat up in the front. It is much safer to place the car seat in the back, but it could be that your baby feels abandon. For a baby you don't exist unless she actually can see you. They can't keep that memory. So when you are driving alone, try moving the car seat in the passanger seat. If you have an air bag for that seat you have to disable it while the car seat is in place.

Vannessa - posted on 06/06/2009

Hi i actually never had this problem with my daughter but i do have some ideas. If you have toys it the car your baby can see or hear maybe take them away cause maybe your baby doesn't like them. If you don't already have window socks on the car maybe put some on, I know babys eye sight isn't that good at that age, but maybe if your baby is "looking" out the window, while driving, what she can see might be going to fast for her and that maybe upsetting her. Maybe if you have a c.d player you could but some nice soft music on.

Brooke - posted on 06/06/2009

Quoting Mandie:

Actually Facing back is far better 4 months is way to early to forward face. Would you prefer a baby to cry or a baby to not make it in an accident. Gee I think its an easy decision Also I would not suggest driving babies around with out a licence

I know it can be dangerous but the thing is I know how frustrating it is to have a crying baby, it takes your mind off driving. When my baby girl is screaming her little lungs out and im trying to drive I usually swerve, stall or bunny hop... hmmmm so I think I would prefer to be a safe driver.

Anyway you are supposed to be helping not judging!

Brooke - posted on 06/06/2009

Quoting Mandie:

Actually Facing back is far better 4 months is way to early to forward face. Would you prefer a baby to cry or a baby to not make it in an accident. Gee I think its an easy decision Also I would not suggest driving babies around with out a licence

I know it can be dangerous but the thing is I know how frustrating it is to have a crying baby, it takes your mind off driving. When my baby girl is screaming her little lungs out and im trying to drive I usually swerve, stall or bunny hop... hmmmm so I think I would prefer to be a safe driver.

Anyway you are supposed to be helping not judging!

Vanessa - posted on 06/06/2009

Julie do you have any ideas on how I can fix it or am I going to need to get a new carseat

Julie - posted on 06/06/2009

I am thinking that maybe it is the position your baby is sitting/lying in.

Vanessa - posted on 06/06/2009

Quoting Rachelle:

Take the car seat in the house let them sit in it in the house. Let them get comfortable with it and if they are able to buckle it them self let them. Once they are comfortable with it say lets take it to the car and go for a ride...if they can understand you.

Rachelle, thanks for the advice but my baby is 9.5 weeks old with a corrected age of 3.5 weeks. If she is still freaking when she can underdstand me and buckle her own carseat then I will try your suggestions but I really hope this isn't the case!

Allison - posted on 06/05/2009

I'm not sure if this would work or not... but I guess anything is worth a shot! Why don't you make the sounds and everything in the house the same as the car, for example go turn the car on with a CD or radio on and have the same CD or radio playing in the house... buckler her in the seat and get her nice and comfortable, make sure she's clean and fed and not having a meltdown... then when she's nice and calm put the handle of the car seat up and drape a very very large blanket over the entire seat and take her out to the car with as little movement as possible. So keep the car door open and when you take her out don't use the handle and set the car seat in the base as slowly as possible. It could possibly be that she is way too overstimulated and the one thing that calms her is the bottle as she's learned that's a comfort item. My baby used to get so overstimulated when she was about 6 weeks old and it lasted til she was about 14 weeks and too many lights, people, movement and such is too much for her so maybe if you limit the amount of activity your LO sees she might feel more comfortable. If she needs her soother or some comfort put your hand in the car seat under the blanket and give her the soother and some calm and comforting words without causing too much of a commotion and not taking the blanket off so that she's in her calm place with only you she sees. :)



Oh and please please please do NOT forward face your child until she is at the bare minimum 20lbs and 1 yr!! It's so dangerous and it scares me when people give advice such as that, their little necks are not strong enough to withstand a crash forward facing... We plan on rear facing our princess until she's 2. As for a rear facing car seat this one is on the more expensive side but they have fantastic reviews and one of the safest rated car seats, we have a Britax Marathon and she fits in it fantastic! IT is rated for RF to 35 lbs and FF to 65 so your child can use it right til she doesn't need a seat or booster anymore.



I know it's not much but I hope you find something that happens to work for you and your LO... she is absolutely gorgeous!

Rachelle - posted on 06/05/2009

Take the car seat in the house let them sit in it in the house. Let them get comfortable with it and if they are able to buckle it them self let them. Once they are comfortable with it say lets take it to the car and go for a ride...if they can understand you.

Jodie - posted on 06/05/2009

My daughter was the same until she was about one. She is 4yrs now and getting better. She had travel sickness. I just had to keep the trip short. Music helped a bit and definately her dummy.

Vanessa - posted on 06/05/2009

First off she is only 9 weeks old and was 6 weeks early so she doesn't play or stare at toys yet but I do have a toy hanging on the carseat and I have a fp rainforest mirror that plays music and soothing sounds and has lights but she could care less about them. I have a graco safeseat but because it is so common I doubt it's the carseat. I'm thinking I should try a convertable seat to see if she likes that better. She does have bad reflux so maybe the bucket seat makes it worse or uncomfortable. We do still have to plan on leaving after she has eaten because she still is in the routine of waking up, eating, up for about 30min, back to sleep, repeat. Today I adjusted the base of the carseat to be more upright and tucked a blanket on either side of her to kind of restrain her and we made our 10 min trip without a total meltdown but there was still whining unless I was holding her soother in her mouth. If I don't hold it in the little monkey spits it out over and over even tho she is capable of holding it in her mouth. If I do go to the convertable I am thinking the first years tru fit or the safety 1st alpha sport 3 phase convertable, any reviews?

Christine - posted on 06/05/2009

well have you tired the car seat toys??.. and if you can tell me what kind of carseat you have that would be lovely because i used to work at babies r us for years and i worked in the baby gear department which dealt with carseats, highchairs, strollers, etc. So if you tell me the kind of car seat i will probably be able to tell you whether or not she "should" be crying because of the carseat... If its not the carseat and the toys dont work, then she might not like the movement or the sounds the car makes, if thats the case then she will just have to get used to the fact. I know its hard but she will not stop herself from breathing, its only natural for her to breathe, so she wont stop herself no worries...

Jeanie - posted on 06/05/2009

I still face the same issue and my son is now 11 months. He fussy and arches his back when he knows he's going into his car seat. Sometimes I put him in the car seat in the house before putting in the car depending on his moods. Give them a toy or teether to keep them occupied during your drive. If I can't sit in the back with him, I sing or talk to my son while I drive to ensure that I'm still there. I also have this toy from Baby Einstein that lights up, it also has a mirror so you can see your baby face since his seat faces backwards. Always reassure your baby that you're there to comfort and sooth him when your baby is in distressed. They just want to make sure you're around especially when they can't see you.

Take small frequent trips in the car to experiment what works and what doesn't.

Staci - posted on 06/05/2009

I had the same problem with my first. I think that sometimes it's the fit of the carseat and maybe trying a different one would help. Also some toys maybe she's just bored mine somewhat calmed down with a toy, but a new seat worked the best for him. With my second he loved the car seat that my first hated.

Jen - posted on 06/05/2009

my son hated his car seat at first too.... he wouldnt sit in it in the house unless you lifted it and swung it (merely rocking it wasnt enogh). he never cried enough to stop breathing but enough to drive us crazy... sometimes cranking the radio to anything with a beat or opening his window a bit seemed to help. Now at 6 months he's usually pretty good in the car! I recently bought a 3 in one car sear but haven;t installed it yet... good luck!

Sarah - posted on 06/05/2009

Definitely no on the Nautilus, as you said it does not RF. It'll be several years before you would be ready for a Nautilus. I'd actually suggest avoiding anything listed as a "3-in-1". ("Convertible" is fine, but those "3-in-1"s are not the best available, especially for the price and the fact that you'll probably still end up needing another seat eventually anyway.) Those are just generally not the best seats, period. For one so young, I'd look at either the First Years TrueFit, Evenflo Triumph Advance, Graco MyRide 65, Sunshine Kids Radian 80, or Cosco Scenera. All of those are seats that tend to fit better for really young ones.

The cheapest option there would be the Cosco Scenera (RF to 35lbs, FF to 40lbs; $45-50), but it also has a lower FF weight limit and short shell so you would definitely need to buy another harnessed seat before your little one was ready for a booster. The Evenflo Triumph Advance (RF to 35lbs, FF to 50 lbs) is a nice seat with a harness that you don't have to rethread to change the height. I have a First Years TrueFit (RF to 35lbs, FF to 65lbs) and love it. It's a little more expensive, but has one of the tallest shells on the market so it'll almost certainly last until we're ready for a harnessed booster. The Sunshine Kids Radian (RF to 35lbs, FF to 65 or 80 depending on the model) also has a tall shell and is the narrowest seat available, so it's a good investment if you're going to need to do multiple child seats in a car. However, it is more expensive. The Graco MyRide 65 is a new seat on the market and has the benefit of having a pretty tall shell combined with the highest RF weight limit currently available in the US (RF to 40 lbs, FF to 65).

At only 9 weeks old, she'd still have to be installed pretty reclined in a RF convertible. You can't start to put them too much more upright until they have good head control, so you'd be installing at the maximum recline for the seat you purchased. However, the full recline on a convertible does tend too be a little more upright than in an infant bucket. A properly used convertible seat, that fits your daughter correctly and is installed right, can be as safe for your daughter as the infant seat.

Vanessa - posted on 06/05/2009

She does have a swing but when I first would put her in there she hated it and she wasn't even buckled in. I have the fisher price rainforest swing that goes forward and back or side to side and have tried her with both settings, many times, with no luck. I read something that said a woman whos baby had reflux loved to swing on her tummy so I gave it a try and she loves it. I'm sure if she could ride in the carseat on her tummy she would be fine but obviously this isn't possible. One more thing, the graco nautilus 3in1 doesn't go rear facing. Thanks everyone!

Jessica - posted on 06/05/2009

I recommend trying the Graco Nautilus. It comes in a very pretty pink/light gray pattern, and it's the last car seat you'll ever need. It's under $200 and can go rear facing, front facing and booster.

The fact that your having to give her a bottle every time in the car is probably not the best, but I completely understand just trying to calm her. That's the most important.
At the same time, if she gets to expect that the feeling of motion is feeding time, when whatever she IS scared of/upset about goes away, she'll still be unhappy without that bottle.

I think the best thing I can recommend is making sure she gets lots of time in motion. Does she have a swing? One that has a 5pt buckle that is similar to a carseat buckle? Maybe try putting her in that more, and seeing if the motion of that too bothers her. If so, she might have an inner ear issue.

And if she gets upset about just being IN her car seat, try putting her in it during the day more often. Maybe if your sitting beside her, leave her unbuckled for a little while so it's just a seat. Then [of course!] if you have to step away, loosen the buckles a bunch and buckle her in. I actually was a single mom from the get-go and I had a hard time trying to get a shower in without worrying about my son. So I would buckle him in his car seat and sit him on the floor of the bathroom while I talked to him. :)

I hope that you get it figured out. It can be very stressful but at the same time, if you know she's okay, nothing is hurting her and there are no medical issues that are causing this, then you just kinda have to hold on for the ride. If she does hold her breath long enough [I hate to be the one to point this out!] but she'll start breathing again when she blacks out. Note: I am not suggesting that you let her get to that point! LOL Just pointing out that it is stressful but it will be okay!

Good luck and if you ever need to talk, I'd be glad to listen!

Vanessa - posted on 06/05/2009

To all the moms whos babies got better when they were forward facing, did you guys happen to try your babies in the convertable (3 in 1) carseats but still rear facing? I'm wondering if it's the carseat that makes these babies happy because they are more upright. I know it's safet in the bucket seat but if it helps her I will put her rear facing in a 3 in 1 carseat. It's an expense that I'd rather avoid right now if it's not going to help but I will definetly buy one if it will. Maybe I can find someone who can lend me one for an hour to see if it works. What are everyone's favorite convertable carseats for little babies? Thanks again everyone for all your help. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this nightmare.

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2009

If everything is good with the seat, then I'd probably still suggest asking her doctor about it...just to make sure there's nothing with the ears or the reflux that's contributing. Otherwise, you may just have to try some of the other things suggested (toys, etc.) and just try to wait it out. My son went through a period of a couple of weeks when he was around 3 months old where he screamed every time we went anywhere in the car. He was mad about being restrained and just didn't like it. We pretty much just had to wait it out. I know it's hard, frustrating, and scary...but she may just have to grow out of this. Avoiding the car is unlikely to help. Maybe try short trips at first?

Vanessa - posted on 06/04/2009

My daughter will fuss a bit when she is first put in the car seat but I can usually get her to calm down before we get into the car. My daughter does have reflux and I'm not sure if this is contributing to her car seat issues but I took her to the chiropractor and now the reflux is pretty much in control. Everything about her car seat is good. It is installed properly, no straps digging in, straps aren't too tight and so on. She also has a mirror so she can see herself and me too. If I am in the back with her she won't cry at first if I distract her but it's only a matter of time before she does. The only thing that stops the crying is a bottle but as I mentioned before I don't like to do this because I'm worried she will end up never riding without a bottle. I just don't know what else to do anymore but it is really hard to cope with a baby who cries so hard she chokes herself and doesn't breathe. It pretty much forces us to be couped up in the house all the time because I fear the car ride. It's hard not to have any adult interaction day after day that I need to find a way to get out of the house before I go insane. She also deserves to interact with other babies and people.

Jeanne - posted on 06/04/2009

My daughter used to do the same thing when she was about three months of age. It was more that she didn't like being restrained and not be able to see everything that was going on. You can buy toys that attach to the car seat and sometimes the bright colors are enough to distract them long enough to get you where you are going. Have you check to see if there isn't any buckles that are jabbing her or if the straps are to tight - I know I freak when my seat belt is too tight. Good luck.

Tamara - posted on 06/04/2009

Quoting Kate:

hi there, i certainly had the same problem and sorta still do and he is 7 months now. sometimes i just had to keep driving as well with the radio up as load as i could to get me to a safe section on the freeway. (and of coarse for the sanity reason) i found i changed his toys alot near him or i found his favourite toy and it now rides everywhere with us, but mind you will still have the fight every so often. he has figured out if he sticks his chest out i cannot put the belt on grrr lil buggers. lol
as soon as you can turn the seat around. we turned it early and we found it to be a huge difference as he can now see outside or us in the front but as i say we still have a fight from time to time. good luck hope she settles for you soon

Forward facing before the MINIMUM of 12 months AND 20lbs is dangerous and illegal in every state in the US.  The AAP now recommends to rearface to the limits of your child's carseat due to the fact that a child is 5x safer rearfacing than forward facing.

OP, please disregard this extremely dangerous advice.  I'm very sorry your child is a screamer.  Can you make the majority of your errands on foot or on the bus to minimize the screaming?

Sarah - posted on 06/04/2009

Does she cry when she's just in the seat at home (like as soon as she's fastened in) or is it just when she's in the car or only when the car's in motion? How about when someone is back there with her...does she still cry or only if she's not getting a bottle?

I guess I'm wondering about several things. First off, at your next ped appointment, you might have them check her ears. If the problem is with the motion, then she might have some sort of ear problem. Sometimes kids with EI's have a hard time being in the car, especially as reclined as they are in an infant seat.

You might also try messing with the positioning on your air conditioner vents. Sometimes, a vent can be blowing too much air into the back onto your little one, which can be really be uncomfortable for them since they can't reposition to escape it. I know my son gets really upset if too much air is blowing on him.

You also might have your car seat installation checked. She might be too far reclined and uncomfortable because of that. As an infant, you want her reclined since she probably doesn't have terrific head control yet, but you want to make sure that the recline is not further than it should be. Also, is she fastened in correctly? Snug but not too tight, nothing poking her, no extra car seat add on's? You could try a different seat...most convertible seats are not good fits for infants. If you end up going that direction, you would have to be very picky about which convertible you chose (would be happy to talk about that if you think it's something you are considering).

If she's not playing with toys yet, another option would be to give her other things to look at. You can get some of those sticky window decals to put up. Or even find a way to fasten pics of you and DH to the back seat so she had those to look at. With car seat toys, you do want to be careful that anything you put back there is soft...otherwise it could become a projectile in an accident and hurt someone.

Vanessa - posted on 06/04/2009

She does use a soother all the time and that can sometimes help but not always. I have heard so many good ideas that I will definetly try. Thanks

Mel - posted on 06/04/2009

sorry Vanessa! i didnt mean to offend in australia its 6-8 kilos we were are able to turn our babies forward facing over here alot sooner then 12 months in most cases. mine only hit the weight mark when she was about 12 months but i know thats unusual. giving her a dummy sounds good if she doesnt already use one x

Kirsten - posted on 06/04/2009

I agree with some of the other posters try a pacifier. Also one thing that works for my son is to turn the radio to a station that just gets static and turn it up. The white noise seems to calm him down. I also think the blanket trick is a good one, this always helped my son fall asleep in the car. Finally, if you have to go somewhere by yourself try putting her in the carseat in the house and giving her a bottle in the seat and then rocking the seat until she falls asleep and then leave. Maybe she'll just stay asleep. Goodluck!

Rocio - posted on 06/04/2009

I have a 2 month old. He does nothing but cry when he's in his seat. So we ended up doing the same as we use to do with my daughter. We strap him in as usual. then we have a very thin blanket which we lay over him and tuck it in on the side and sort of under him ( his hands are also tucked in) this for us works wonders. We realized that when he was in his seat he would kinda startle himself ( if either he was bout to fall asleep or was just relaxing... Yah right) and his arms would fling up in the air. Then the minute we started to do this he started to calm down. He whines still in the beginning but then I start to drive n it stops. I hope this works for you. Please let me know:)

Jessica - posted on 06/04/2009

Do you have some one else that can drive so you can sit in the back with her. Maybe she doesnt like to be away from you. Once she realises that your not far away you might b able to get back in the drivers seat. It would be pretty daunting not knowing where mummy is and not been able to see anything...

Cricket - posted on 06/04/2009

wanted to add....one song that helped the best, was mercades bendz by janis joplin, it's easy to memorize and easily repeats, he would useually calm down a bit w/ that and good ol' abc's..lol...good luck dear. glad to see you know the carseat rules for your state, i think the one who turned her child around at 4 months was crazy!!!!!

Cricket - posted on 06/04/2009

good idea when your out of options but you are not supose to leave the carseat bar up in the car.

Cricket - posted on 06/04/2009

I did have the same problem w/ my son, he hated his carseat!! But I am sorry i have no help for you, he didn't get better untill he turned a year old and was able to be turned around. I use to try everything, i would stop a breastfeed for a bit, that didn't always help. I i would keep my hand reached in the back, and rub his little hand, or just rest my hand on his chest for comfort, that seemed to work the best, but didn't always work. I would put him to sleep then put him in the seat and carry it to the car when i was ready to go, sometimes he would stay a sleep for a lil' bit, others times it didn't take much time at all. Also tried one of those light and sound mirrors, that sort-of helped, on occasion, was good for night time w/ the lights. I would sing a familiar song, and when he got louder i would too.

All these things helped at times, but not always, maybe one will work for you. However, i would stop feeding her while the car is in motion, she will start to think she needs to eat everytime she gets in the car, plus it could make her stomach very upset, and then you will have a VERY upset baby.

Good Luck!!!!

Rebecca - posted on 06/04/2009

I agree with Gemma! Try a dummy, my daughter calmed down alot when we gave her a dummy in the car! Also this might sound strange but we would play heavy metal music to her in the car and she would instantly stop crying! It may help to play some music that she is used to and calms well to! Hope this helps! xoxo

Gemma - posted on 06/04/2009

Have you tried giving her a dummy. You may not want her to have a dummy but if it helps just in the car it may be worth it. Your daughter is really cute by the way.

Vanessa - posted on 06/04/2009

:thanks everyone for your advice but I guess I should mention that she was 6 weeks premature so she does not play with toys yet and just started focusing on things in the last couple days. I do have a mirror that plays sounds and lights up that has a remote and it hasn't helped yet. She has a toy hanging rrom the handle and she will sometimes look at it but never reaches or plays with it yet. I have fisher price baby cd's I play and it doesn't help. I try talking to her assuring her everything is ok and to calm down and that doesn't help. The only thing that does help is a bottle but it's not always time for her to eat and it's hard to give it to her when I'm alone not to mention what I'm getting her into the habbit of if every time we're in the car she has a bottle. Another thing I wanted to mention is everything I have read states babies need to be rear facing until at least a year and 20lbs but as long as possible on top of that because it is safest way for babies to be in an accident. It is also the law where I live to have babies rear facing up to one year and 20lbs. I wonder if a convertable carseat still rear facing would help. Please keep the advice comming I am finding it very helpful. Thanks everyone.

Mandie - posted on 06/04/2009

Actually Facing back is far better 4 months is way to early to forward face. Would you prefer a baby to cry or a baby to not make it in an accident. Gee I think its an easy decision Also I would not suggest driving babies around with out a licence

Mel - posted on 06/04/2009

i agree turn the seat around as soon as you can ours has been forward facing from about 4 months also i cant give you much advice but mine was the exact same way! she would cry so much she would choke herself and make herself throw up. id be driving and id have to keep pulling over as well which is damned annoying. especially when i didnt have a licence and had to drive places i didnt need a crying baby in the back stressing me out. now at 14 months she still whinges in the car every time even on a 5 minute trip but as they get older its so much easier because you can just ignore it, i tend to try and give her things to entertain her something she doesnt play with every day like my sunnies or whatever. my in home carer often drives to play group with me and sees me telling her to be quiet and she says oh i have 4 im just used to ignoring it so dont worry about it lol. hang in there

Kate - posted on 06/04/2009

hi there, i certainly had the same problem and sorta still do and he is 7 months now. sometimes i just had to keep driving as well with the radio up as load as i could to get me to a safe section on the freeway. (and of coarse for the sanity reason) i found i changed his toys alot near him or i found his favourite toy and it now rides everywhere with us, but mind you will still have the fight every so often. he has figured out if he sticks his chest out i cannot put the belt on grrr lil buggers. lol

as soon as you can turn the seat around. we turned it early and we found it to be a huge difference as he can now see outside or us in the front but as i say we still have a fight from time to time. good luck hope she settles for you soon

Amber - posted on 06/04/2009

Have you tried rocking her? My 4 month old get's fussy at first but then we rock her in it and walk around the house a bit and that calms her down. Maybe try putting her in it in the house first to get her used to it. I hope this helps

Wendy - posted on 06/04/2009

I have the same issue with my 3 month old. I got this toy by fisher price, it sits on her lap ( or i rest mine up against the seat facing her) she can kick it and turn it on, it lights up and plays music, or it also comes with a remote which you controll from the front seat. She really likes it, I dont think she feels so alone back there. or hang something on the handle for her to stare at, try something to keep her busy I know your little girl is younger but it may help. Good luck! I know what your going through.