Please help my two and a half year old son wants nothing to do with his Dad - he won't let him bath him, feed him, push him in the buggy sometimes even come near him!!! He cries and kicks and shouts - It's tiring for me and frustrating for my husband!

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Angela - posted on 04/15/2009

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Great news - we had a break through this morning - my son actually asked for Daddy to dress him!  Would not let me do it but asked for Daddy to get him out of bed and into his playschool clothes!  Unbelievable!  Once again thanks for the tips perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Angela - posted on 04/15/2009

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Great news - we had a break through this morning - my son actually asked for Daddy to dress him!  Would not let me do it but asked for Daddy to get him out of bed and into his playschool clothes!  Unbelievable!  Once again thanks for the tips perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel!

Abbie - posted on 04/14/2009

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Our son does that also. What we do........ I schedule a day to be gone for a few hours, usually a saturday and I work. Our son does this because I am the one who cares for him 90% of the time. His Daddy works very hard, and sometimes is gone at night, but is normally home with us most nights. So i have found if I am around baby gets angry and upset much easier then if I am not. That is what I would do. Trust that Daddy with do the right job.!!

Pat - posted on 04/14/2009

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As hard as it is on your husband especially, it will pass. They are used to you doing so much for them, they trust you explicably. Try incorporating your husband in some fun time as well as duties. Being with the both of them will instill comfort in you child.

Angela - posted on 04/14/2009

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Thanks for all the replies there are some great tips in there  - my husband and I don't argue that much so can't be that.  I really like the idea of making it a game and at the moment I do spend more time with him than his Daddy so that's probably playing a big part - they already have  special Daddy and Son afternoons once a week and usually it's me that does all the disciplining but then he still looks at Daddy like it's him that told him off!!!  Hopefully just a phase and soon I'll be the one craving the attention but in the meantime we will try the things mentioned.  Once again many, many thanks.

Mel - posted on 04/13/2009

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yeah thats true i guess because my partner and i fight almost every day its prob a normal thing to her so i can see how a one off thing would scare a young child or baby. our daughter is always really happy and playful everyne comments on it so i guess we're lucky

Kimberly - posted on 04/13/2009

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I know this might sound odd, but try this. Make it a game. You play or do somehinng with your husband and if your seems interested you ask him if he wants to join in. Make sure it's something that you know he will want to do. If you can pretend to ignore him. Make him see that his daddy is fun to be with and likes the same things that he does. I'm not saying to make your son jealous but play this game, it does work. Also show your son that it's ok to like daddy. Make sure he is in the room when you show your husband any kind affection. He will want to join in. I hope I have helped. :)

Toni - posted on 04/13/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

i saw a comment about maybe her and the babys dad having a fight i must say my partner and i scream at each other all the time while holding brianna and he's so loud i often wonder if he's hurting her ears, yet she still loves her daddy so very much so i dont think this could be the cause. anyway i hope it gets better for you soon


My daughter gets very upset when me and her step daddy argue. It doesn't happen very often which is probably why she get's upset, she's nearly 7 but she's very sensitive.



Each child is different and if a child has grown up with shouting and arguments it can appear as normal. If it was a one off big barny, this could frighten a child. I'm not saying that this is definitely what the problem is but offering a suggestion.



 

Mel - posted on 04/13/2009

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i saw a comment about maybe her and the babys dad having a fight i must say my partner and i scream at each other all the time while holding brianna and he's so loud i often wonder if he's hurting her ears, yet she still loves her daddy so very much so i dont think this could be the cause. anyway i hope it gets better for you soon

Alison - posted on 04/13/2009

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hi angela, just wanted to tell you that this sounds just like what happened with my son. all my little man wanted to do was be with me and have everything done by me. we just hung in there. we started with going to bed. using our calender, we took turns on who was to put him to bed, one night my turn, the next would be dads. this helped. i have heard that it takes upto the age of 4, before boys realise they they are like their dads. my little boy is now 5, and loves to help dad outside with the garden, playing cricket in the hallway, boys stuff. we now have a 16 mth boy, who also wants me to do everything, but he likes to play sports, any sports, bat/ball! all i can say is hang in there, it will get better. just take baby steps, and get daddy to help\take turns with what you do. good luck.

Kerri - posted on 04/13/2009

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i was told a while back, that my daughter would choose sometimes to have favorites, i would start slowly with your child, and the father have him sit in with you while you read to him, or both of you start to play together, when or if he cries you are there to comfort, but also dad. if you were with your son 24/7 and his dad isnt able to be there much due from work or whatnot, that is probably the cause. but remember children naturally are going to pick favorites, and next month it could be his daddy he wants more or most.

i would reassure your husband its "our" child, and he will grow out of this, its got to be both of you playing and reading, so that way your child knows it can be mom or dad reading to him.

your son sounds as if maybe he "needs" his schedule, and clings to what is "Normal" for him. try to get dad in reading to him after a few days of you doing it with dad.

maybe that will help, i sure hope so.

Katrina - posted on 04/13/2009

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i have a 2 year old that dose that somedays he wont let his dad give him a kiss goodnight or take him to the toliet or dress him he kicks and screams he even hits him but these are all the things that i do while dads at work so he thinks only mum can do it(or mum dose it better lol )but what we have been doing is telling him that if dad can't do it then mums not and his been slowly letting him do it. my 2year old feeds his self and is learning to wash himself, try and let your boy do the same it helps when they can do it for themself and they fell bigger that they can do this and he might let dad teach him how to do this because my son loved it he always tells us I ate it all mummy its all finished and he was so proud of his self and when we go out for a walk i tell him he can walk as long as he holds onto dads hand and if he dont we dont go out so now everytime we go out he will hold his fathers hand.

just keep trying and dont give up dont know if i have help at all but good luck.

Toni - posted on 04/13/2009

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Quoting Monica:

I would start asking myself what has happened to cause this. Has some man done something to your son to make him start to dislike men or does your husband do all the diciplining, because that could also cause this. Becareful not to make your husband look like that bad guy the whole just wait till your father gets home thing.


I did wonder this too but I didn't want to make the poor woman paranoid and no matter how I wrote it it just didn't sound right.



It could be something such as his voice. Does he shout or is he naturally loud? Does he have a deep voice, is he a big guy? Have you guys had an argument and shouted at each other that your son may have heard or been in the same room as you at the time? It's funny things like these which can trigger funny behaviour. It may not have meant anything to you at the time, but it can upset a young child.



 



 

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I would start asking myself what has happened to cause this. Has some man done something to your son to make him start to dislike men or does your husband do all the diciplining, because that could also cause this. Becareful not to make your husband look like that bad guy the whole just wait till your father gets home thing.

Toni - posted on 04/13/2009

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Is your son a Mummy's boy (for want of a better expression) what I mean is, is he used to it being just you 2 who do everything together?



Have you tried going out for an hour every now and then and just leaving them alone for some boys time or let your husband take him out for the day for some fun stuff?



My sister went through something similar with my niece. She would freak out if my sister left the house without her, my sister would have to sneak out the back door. In the first 2 years of my nieces life her daddy worked very long hours and odd shifts so he hardly saw them other than holidays and the weekends, then he changed jobs and he ws there every morning and evening as well as the weekends and he had to bond with his DD properly by doing things for her that he was unable to do before. My niece would scream the house down for er mummy to feed her, bath her, brush her hair...etc. So my sister would sneak out so my niece had no one to help her but her daddy. Now she's nearly 5 and a real daddy's little girl and mummy can get her nose pushed out sometimes instead...lol.

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