Please help our yoing people Lord they need it bad

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012 ( 38 moms have responded )

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Do not respond to me I am tired of hearing your one sided viewpoint as you obviously cannot see the issue from both sides

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Wow! talk about utter and totaly dishonesty! Dorothy, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. You just changed the thread title and and the original post because rather than listen to anyone elses'e pov, you want to make yourself out to be a victim. Do you feel that the 10 Commandments only apply to OTHER people?

In case anyone's curious - Dorothy's origional post was asking what to do if adult children refuse to have contact with you and wont' let you see their children. When asked repeatedly for more info or when posters have given their opinions, Dorothy attacked us all to a man and said that we were all being taught by teachers to be disrespectful to our parents.

She then changed the title and op.

I think again, that the woman in your OP is you and I think we all have ample evidence as to why your kids may keep their distance.

[deleted account]

Your Lord also fully supported selling daughters into slavery so let's leave him out of this shall we?

Considering your reaction to some very kindly written posts, perhaps it's not that unreasonable that your children aren't speaking to you.

Neither myself nor LMCBW suggested you are a bad person, we just gave our opinion and I gave my personal story. And you attacked both of us. Is this how you treat your children.

Bible be damned, if you do not treat people with respect, they are NOT going to respect you.

[deleted account]

And for the record- there had to have been some major event that would require an adult child to make the decision to sever all ties with the mother/grandmother. Someone just doesn't wake up one day and say, "I think I'll stop talking to my mom, and my kids will have no contact with grandma." It doesn't happen that way. It's an emotional roller coaster that happens over time. Time and energy spent in fighting, trying to change people, nitpicking at a lifestyle, henpecking at parenting, derogatory comments about the children or the home, etc. To the OP, you need to reflect upon WHY your adult child(ren) would make the conscious decision as to why they are no longer a part of your life. From there, perhaps you can make ammends. If it is not meant to be, then perhaps over the passage of time.



Quoting Bible passages doesn't fix a damn thing!

Amy - posted on 05/20/2012

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"children today are taught to disrespect their and elders", didn't you raise your children? That doesn't say much for you. It sounds like you know why they have cut you out you obviously don't want to share.

If you truly want to be in your grand kids lives I suggest you respect the parents and their views unless they are neglecting or abusing their kids.

[deleted account]

I think it's hilarious when people try to shove religion down other throats. Honestly, sit back and THINK: Do ALL people follow YOUR God and Bible? Nope. Parents can easily raise their children to be respectful, polite, exhibit excellent manners, and of course, honor thy mother & father without a sense of faith. It's called parenting. You do not need organized religion in order to raise a morally well-rounded child. And when you post vague messages on a public message board forum, please be advised that you may not always like the responses you hear. Yes, put both sides of your issue out there for us, the readers, to provide an opinion. You are welcome to lock this thread at your disrection.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

38 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 05/20/2012

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OK, locked. Sorry, but 16 posts flagged by the OP is ridiculous. You can't flag posts just because you don't like them. You also cannot start a thread and then tell people not to respond when you don't like the responses.



Jodi

WtCoM Moderator

[deleted account]

Dorothy, you're only calling us one sided because we have not automatically agreed with either side. We've stated our perspectives which you took as an attack. That is very telling whether you wish to acknowledge that or not.



ETA: BTW, if god is tlling you that you're right, why are you bothering to ask us mere humans?

Sally - posted on 05/20/2012

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you put the 1st post. All everyone has done is to try and answer you with the very small amount of info you supplied. I don't see them as being unfair when all they are saying is that every story has to sides. You cannoyt not expect people to go, your completely right. You seem to be the one making judements. Do not ask for advice if you don't want to hear it.

[deleted account]

You sound that you have been emotionally hurt for your children and grandchildren not playing an active role as you would like in your life.

All I can suggest is talk to your children and see if there is a reason behind them (and/or you) creating this gap currently. By talking to them, then the wounds/injuries (on both sides) have the potential to be healed and for the whole family to move forward. It also requires give and take on both sides.

Respect comes from both sides. Yes respect your parents/elders is important, but also respecting children is equally as important. Children learn by watching the examples set by their parents and elders.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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Yes but maybe many of us have been the child. You have not been in our shoes either. Once again, I believe I told you how to lock the thread.

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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You all are one-sided and cannot be objective. Do not respond to me because you are all wrong you are judgmental when you don't know the truth but God does know that in am telling the truth; and He knows that it is not my fault my children have the right to decide even when they make this type of wrong decisions. Whoa unto you for judging me so unfairly. Not one person has been thru what I have. When you walk a mile in my shoes than you have a right to judge me

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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Not a troll, I think she was genuinely wanting advice. She has to lock it unless an admin/mod comes and does it.

Kaitlin - posted on 05/20/2012

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So, are we just assuming this is a troll at this point? Can we just block/delete the post?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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Oh BTW, your view point is also very one sided. You do not know the kids side on this. Hell, maybe they were horribly abused as kids and the parents are trying to buy their love back. You have no idea what happens behind closed doors.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I learned to be disrespectful from people like you that demand respect but do not show it. I think it is flipping hysterical that not only did you change the context of this thread, but also the name of it. You don't want people to respond?? here is how to LOCK it.....

See the pink option button above your picture??? Click it. I am sure you can figure it out from there.

Mabel - posted on 05/20/2012

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I think you are getting your bible twisted and your kids smartened up before you twisted their kids.Respect is taught and earned not demanded.Like I tell my son you need to open your ears and close your mouth to "see" both sides of an issue and not just what a damn book tells you.

Sally - posted on 05/20/2012

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Yes i have and thats when you respect your child young or grown, hold your hands up and say" i messed up " then talk about it. Your friends kids must feel that they have good reason. This is what your friend needs to address. I also have to add that i don't believe the bible teaches our children to be respectful we do as parents by example

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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Do not respond to me I am tired of hearing your one sided viewpoint as you obviously cannot see the issue from both sides

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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Do not respond to me I am tired of hearing your one sided viewpoint as you obviously cannot see the issue from both sides

[deleted account]

Dorothy, no one said anything of the sort. What has been said REPEATEDLY is that you have not sought to hear all sides of the discussion. Please make an attempt to understand that.

[deleted account]

That is one of the problems the young people in this country want to leave God and the Bible
--
Your bible endorses slavery. Why shouldn't one want to leave it?

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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It is obvious from all of you but one of you that you have learned to be disrespectful so you cannot possibly be objective as you see that all older people our wrong and only the young are right.

[deleted account]

Dorothy, I don't believe you at all. And I would point out , you being a Christian and all, that ommitting facts and speaking half-truths is the exact same thing as lying which is also a big no-no in the 10 Commandments. I think you are the mother involved but let's assume for sake of argument that you're not. Have you at any point spoken with this woman's children directly for ttheir side of the story - and listened without pre-judging the situation?

Kaitlin - posted on 05/20/2012

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Dorothy, I really don't understand how you can believe you know the whole truth. Obviously this person is a friend of yours and you care and support her- that's really awesome that she has someone she can turn to when things are tough. But you do not know the whole story. You can not. You are not directly involved, and you are being the support for your friend, who you of course believe and trust.
I'm sorry you think all young people these days behave in such a manner. I am a very religious person and have been taught to respect my elders, but I also know that no matter what age, people make mistakes that do and should have consequences. It is quite obvious that you're missing a part of this story. I hope that mother and her child and grandchildren are able to reconcile, but it isn't in your power or in your place- it is between the two of them, and whatever history they have.

Sally - posted on 05/20/2012

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I hate to see mums who demand respect but don't return it. They are not young children ,they are adults and have every right to expect you to show respect. You reap what you sow

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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I worked in schools before I retired and I literally heard other teachers tell the children to dishonor or disrespect their parents and that is what I meant when I said that children are taught to dishonor and disrespect their parents and elders today. What is happening to the person that I asked the question for could very well have to you.

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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That is one of the problems the young people in this country want to leave God and the Bible out of their lives and that is why they think it is okay to dishonor and disrespect their parents. I have always shown respect to my children and others and I am allowed to see all of my grandchildren. I was writing this question because I know someone who has been denied the right to see only 2 of hers or his grandchildren and I know the whole truth. This person has helped with the grandchildren financially when the parents wanted to go out and spend their money on things they really could have done without resulting in not being able to meet their rent sometimes, buy food and other necessities of life. The parent that I asked the question for did without some of hers or his necessities to give money to the adult offspring to be used to buy food for the grandchildren, pay the rent car payment for the adult offspring and the grandchildren and when she or he asked to see the grandchildren in the presence of the adult offspring and his wife they were denied even a few minutes to see and say I love you to their grandchildren.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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LOL, yup...you raised them, so maybe take a look at your own parenting skills before you point your bible thumping condemning fingers at others lady :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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Well, at least we got a bit of a clearer picture. There is some sort of disagreement. You can not be so hard headed to think just because the bible says something, that people follow it first of all, and second of all maybe you are wrong about the argument, and you need to step outside of yourself to see that and make an apology.

[deleted account]

My best friends' mother is in a nursing home. Her roommate hasn't seen her daughter in 20+years. Finally I started probing and it turns out the mom was a terribly violent alcoholic who beat her children whenever she had a drop. What's worse, she has never once tried to apologize or make amends yet she feels like she is the victim.

Firebird - posted on 05/20/2012

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Yea, this didn't just happen for no reason. My mother and I don't always get along well, but she would have to do something atrocious for me to cut her out of our lives. Find out what you did to upset them, it may have just been a misunderstanding, and do what needs to be done to rectify the situation.

Dorothy - posted on 05/20/2012

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Our Lord said that we our to honor our father and mother that things will go well with thee...The Lord did not say we were to stop honoring them because we disagreed with them or for any reason.

[deleted account]

I would try to honestly see it from their pov. I had to step away from my father in the months before he died because he was incredibly manipulative and verbally abusive. He told everyone that I was just mad over money (so very untrue - he had nothing to be mad over) and that he was dating a girl my age (she was a bona-fide crack addict who stole his last $10 from his coat pocket while he was comatose on a ventilator. - no really, that happened). He also told the nurses at the assisted living facility that I refused to let him see my son. Also not true. At one point, he lived in an apartment on the walking route home from my son's school. My son chose not to visit because he was manipulative, emotionally abusive and only wanted us there to clean up.

So things aren't always what they seem. Many people have tremendous anger towards me because I stepped away and refuse, adamently refuse to hear the truth (or see the truth which I have documented).

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/20/2012

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I am sorry to say this, but kids, adult or young do not just turn their backs on their parents for no reason. Especially when grand children are involved. If you do not know why, you should ask and find out.

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