Please Help with Sleep habits!! 2 yr. old and 9 mo. old share a room

Brook - posted on 10/23/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Please Help with Sleep habits!! my 2 yr. old and 9 mo. old have to share a room. The big issue is my 9 mo. old still waking up once a night. If I give her a bottle she will drink and go right back to sleep no problem... BUT at her 9 mo. appointment the doctor said she should be able to sleep through the night with no feedings. Here's where the issue comes in. I'm not feeding her so now when she wakes up she just fusses (not a hard core cry) until I pick her up. If I leave her fussing my son (2yr old) wakes up and then it's really bad b/c they both want me. Might I add my husband is more then willing to help but neither child wants him. They are attached to my hip at night time! So with this sad I need help on how to get my 9 mo. old to sleep through the night AND my 2 yr old to sleep through noise.

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Ariana - posted on 10/24/2012

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You could try to bring the 9month old into your room or the living room to sleep so you can leave her to fuss by herself (not sure if you're willing to do that). You can just let her cry it out and if she's been put into the living room she won't wake the 2 year old (hopefully).



Some people I know also walk into the room and tell the child it's time for bed but DO NOT pick them up. You could try this with the living room version or leave both children in bed and do this. It may be beneficial to have your husband do it at first because they are so attached to you. You could leave the 9 month old in the room and have you or your husband go in and just say it's time for bed and let her fuss, then if the 2 year old wakes up bring him back to bed and say time for bed (or nothing after the first time). It would probably be a hellish week or so but once they realized you are NOT going to pick them up or let them out of bed they'll probably go to sleep.

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This is what I am doing for my almost 3 year old girl and 10 month old boy. My 10 month old goes to bed first at about 6pm, my 3 year old goes to bed at about 7pm. My son likes the door closed, my daughter likes it open. My son likes the room dark, my daughter needs a nightlight. My son sleeps through the night, my daughter wakes up at least once a week due to a nightmare.



I keep the door closed after my son goes to sleep, when it is my daughter's turn the door stays open until she falls asleep. If she wakes up her brother than the door is closed until he calms down and goes back to sleep, than it is reopened. My daughter has a nightlight by the head of her bed hidden behind a chair, so it is only bright by her side of the room.



When she wakes up at night. I do sooth her. But if her brother wakes up, I repeat bedtime, the door closes until he falls asleep. Depending on how upset she is, I will either send her back to bed or keep her with me until he calms himself.



On the very rare occasion my son wakes up in the middle of the night, I monitor it from the door.



My husband sings a special song to our daughter, he is the only one that sings this song. It became special and their bonding time. A book might work as well.

Ariana - posted on 10/25/2012

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For the two year old I would just keep bringing him back. The main point of that would be to not give any attention and any time he leaves the room to just silently bring him back. You could do it one night and your husband the next. I found with my son I actually told him some things to do if he got scared (not sure if that would work, depends on language skills). Like I told him to take deep breaths and hug his animals. Not sure if that would help. A two year old would probably be harder, but consistancy is always the key.

Brook - posted on 10/25/2012

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Thanks Ariana, I'm glad someone gave me some input. We did the same route with our little boy but it was way easier just b/c it was only him in the room. Here is what we ended up doing this week.



Starting Sunday our little boy (2yrs) and my husband slept down stairs in guest bedrooms. I had read that the best way to sleep train a child is to make sure their in their own bed and bedroom.



So Sunday night when she started to fuss I gave her 15 min. the next night 25 min. the next night 30 and so on. Until last night, (Wednesday) she slept through the night. I heard her once just for like a min and that was it.



Another thing I learned is by 6 mo. a child should be able to sleep through the night without feedings. Since our little girl is 9 mo. I decided that I was no longer going to feed her in the middle of the night. I learned rather quickly by day two into this sleep training that she wasn't hungry in the middle of the night she was just using the bottle as a soother. So as of right now this process seems to be getting better but I'm going to give a good solid week to see if she's got this figured out.



I had never thought about having my husband go in the room to comfort her so that is something I'm going to have him do for a while. I'm a stay at home mom so I generally get up with them but my husband is really good about doing it if I ask him to.



Now my next step is trying to get my 2 year old to go to bed for my husband. He pitches a huge fit if it's not me. Any suggestions there?

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