* Please Read* Flagging and Posting etiquette

Kylie - posted on 11/05/2009 ( 43 moms have responded )

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Please be respectful of others' opinions, even when you disagree

If any of the following happen to you, then you may flag the offending post as inappropriate.



1. slurs, stereotyping, or hate speech.

2. threats or personal attacks.

3. others posting the same thing again and again within the same group or across multiple groups.

4.. advertisements and solicitations.



Please note: Moderators can now see who flags and their reason for doing so. Do not flag just because someone’s opinion differs to yours, in such a large forum not everyone will agree, we are here to share our experience and advice. We will not tolerate unnecessary and pointless flagging. Members who continue to flag gratuitously will be blocked from contributing to this community.



Threads will be locked if ....

Debate becomes argument

The thread has been up for a substantial amount of time and the original post has been answered or

The thread has gone completely off topic



Threads/ posts will be deleted if



They include auto-start videos. Members who want to post a youtube link must put 'video included’ in the header of the thread or it will be deleted.



They are new H1N1 threads- This topic has become too controversial and is causing fights on the main page. If you start a new conversation about it, it will be deleted



Flame Wars within threads will not be tolerated. If you have a problem with a member: keep it private do not splatter the welcome page with your disagreements.



If it continues after a warning you will be blocked for 24hrs, if it happens again you will be blocked indefinitely.

No questions



Also, please read the guidelines found in the folder at the top of the page for more information on the community policies.



And here is some more important info for all new members!



Internet etiquette or netiquette guides us in proper behavior on the Internet. There are widely accepted rules of behavior to follow when you're online. It is very important to learn and follow these rules.



As a newbie (someone new to the Internet) you do not want to venture into cyberspace until you are familiar with the acceptable rules of Internet behavior. There are a few tips that can help you feel more comfortable with the new situations cyberspace will throw at you. With a little practice you can become a responsible internet user.



Here are some things to remember anytime you are online:



*Do unto others, as you'd have others do unto you. Be polite and courteous at all times. Remember that you're not communicating with a computer screen, but with a human being who has thoughts and feelings just like you. So, always think of the person on the receiving end of your messages.



* Do not TYPE ALL IN CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING.



*Remember that the written word is hard to interpret. When you speak to someone, that person can hear the tone of your voice. If they can see you, they can take visual clues from your face and body to better understand your meaning. All of this is lost in text, and sometimes responses can come across as mean or rude, even when you did not intend them this way. This is the reason some people use emoticons (visual clues) in their e-mails, it saves a lot of confusion.





* Be universal. This is an international site with mothers from all over the planet with different , cultures and religions.



*Be brief whenever possible. No one wants to read through a lot of unnecessary information.



* Don't flame. Do not send rude or offensive postings. It's bad manners and can get seriously out of hand (flame wars). So don't flame others and if you are flamed, do not respond: .



* Make a good impression. Remember that the written word is the only way you can represent yourself online, so spelling and grammar count. If you are going to be writing a large amount of text for other people to see, make sure you break it up using paragraphs, it will make it easier on the eye for those that will read it.



*Be patient with newcomers. Once you have become an Internet expert, it is easy to forget that you started out as a newbie too. Learning the rules of cyberspace is much like learning a new language; it takes practice, and includes making mistakes. So if you come across someone else's mistakes on the net, don't put them down, just politely point them in the right direction for guidance.



* Be careful sharing to much personal information on the internet ,



* Please be aware of posting naked photo's of your children on circle of mums , this is an open site where anyone can enter and view your pictures .



Loureen Kelly

wtCoM Moderator



Enjoy Circle of mums !!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

~Jennifer - posted on 11/05/2009

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I'd like to add.....if you see pinned (red thumbtack) threads ...please read them!

=)



If they're pinned, they're important.



Welcome to, and please enjoy CoM!

Kate CP - posted on 12/31/2009

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We cannot delete every post that MAY come across as condescending or judgmental. First of all, what *I* may find to be judgmental may not be to another reader. Anything worded as a personal attack to another member of this community WILL be deleted post-haste. An opinion worded strongly may or may not be a personal attack. For example: "I think covering up while breastfeeding in public is stupid" is NOT a personal attack. However "Anyone who co-sleeps with their children are complete idiots" IS a personal attack. Just because you don't like a reply DOES NOT MEAN that it is a personal attack and should be flagged. As moderators we are only human and we do our best to determine as a group which posts should be removed. It's not just one person going through the flagged content and deciding what should or should not be removed. The 6 mods and the admin all discuss posts that are questionable and decide whether or not it should remain on the board.

Regarding profane language: I agree that it is inappropriate to use curse words while responding to a post on this forum. We do not condone the use of profanity and generally attempt to encourage users to modify their posts so as they don't contain crude language. In some cases things slip by or are allowed into the conversation. It is dealt with case by case. However, this is a sight for mothers. As mothers we do tend to deal with some things that may not be age appropriate for younger children such as sex, feminine issues, marital problems, and body functions (who here hasn't been peed and pooped on at least once?). So please be aware that some posts may offend some people and use your best judgment when opening threads.

Thank you ladies for your comments and input!
Sincerely,
Kate Capehart
CoM Moderator

Stephanie - posted on 01/22/2010

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Well put. It is for sharing experience. I like what you say Loureen, it's classy.

Krista - posted on 01/01/2010

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I have a question: would proselytizing fall under "solicitations"? Oftentimes on threads where someone asks for advice, I'll see multiple posters telling the OP to find God, etc. etc. For the most part, I find it inappropriate, but not flag-worthy. But there have been a couple of times that I've seen people go farther by posting links to religious websites, etc, which to my mind, starts crossing a line. But I could be wrong on this.

Where do the mods stand with regards to this?

Nicole - posted on 12/31/2009

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I am sorry if this strikes a nerve but I feel it needs to be said....I don't like profanity. I don't agree with it I think there are much better ways of expressing ourselves and on top of that, it goes to the golden rule...You wouldn't want anyone cussing you or your posts so why do it to theirs. In addition, my girls can all read, and we all use the same puter and I don't think they should be reading some of what i have seen on here (in another post) tonight. I just wanted people to remember that we are all moms and many of us do have children in the room when we are on the computer so it would be nice if what we were reading was not filled with profanity.

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43 Comments

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Jodi - posted on 09/26/2014

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Just to make the moderator's job easier, she's referring to me. LOL. Whatever.

Brandi, no-one can make you feel any way that you choose not to feel. I never called you stupid. I never even INFERRED you were stupid. I just disagreed with you and stated factual information. I'm not asking you to agree with me. I don't care whether you do or you don't. If you feel stupid because of it then maybe you need to check on your self-esteem.

And following you around? Seriously? I read through all the posts in those two groups where I have been a member for YEARS. If I was actually following you around I would have posted on every post you responded to. I responded to you TWICE and you get your panties in a wad? Grow up.

There, now you have rude (which I was NOT in other posts, you just chose to read them that way).

Brandi - posted on 09/26/2014

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There is a poster that is constantly following where I post and posting rude things after I put in my thoughts and opinions and she keeps making me look and feel stupid and she's making me feel like I can't contribute to this website because now I'm afraid she's just going to tear down what I say and make me keep looking stupid, what can I do?

Phyllis - posted on 04/08/2010

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One thing I find to be poor etiquette is when people fill their posts with abbreviations to the point where it is very difficult to read. things like ur, u, idk, I mean. I don't mind seeing them in general, its just that some people using nothing but, it seems! Anyone else bothered by that?!

Kylie - posted on 04/08/2010

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There is a delete option under your comment next to the reply option and above Was this post...?

Charlotte - posted on 03/27/2010

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Diane, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I'm a new granny and am loving it. My grandson will be 4 yrs old in July and is the apple of my eye.
Char

Melissa - posted on 02/19/2010

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Thank you for the info! I have never seen anything rude or innappropiate yet but i am a newbie myself.

SONYA - posted on 02/06/2010

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thank you for the info but sometime others do not read this i will next time actually i have read everything on here just like everyone else and its a ver helpful topic..but people are gonna opionate the way the feel espically when somethings get taget but this is very good i will pass it on to others that has refuse to be on here or right because of things that are said not only me but there are others.. so thank you for the info

Penney - posted on 01/23/2010

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I enjoy helpig themoms and reading about the kids. This helps me stay in touch with everyone.

Darlene - posted on 01/02/2010

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You would think people would be happy to get advise when they need help but there are bad apples on every tree.

Jodi - posted on 01/01/2010

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It could be construed to be violating other community guidelines if the said link leads to a website with any sort of hate speech or racial slur, or if the post itself is totally off topic and irrelevant :) I know I personally often check links if people add them to a post to make sure the links themselves don't violate guidelines too :) Otherwise, I'd say the posts telling the OP to find God, etc, are simply personal opinions, and treat them as you would any other opinion.

Krista - posted on 01/01/2010

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Thanks Jodi -- it seemed like a bit of a gray area, so I wasn't sure if I was just being oversensitive to it, or if it really was a violation.

Jodi - posted on 01/01/2010

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Krista, as long as someone is not personally "profiting" from a link they provide, they really are not violating the guidelines for ads and solicitation. If, however, you feel they violate other community guidelines, you can flag it as inappropriate.

Amy - posted on 12/11/2009

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That you all for these post. When I came to COM as a newbir, I posted a conversation. Some people where very helpful and somepeople were very judgemental and I asked the adin and moderators to delete the who converstion. Some people were indeed helpful. I could not stand people putting me down and my husband and that is who I was talking about. I was verbally and mentally abused all my life so I just could not deal with the remarks any more. Thanks again.

GUPPIE - posted on 12/08/2009

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Quoting Erin:

*Do unto others, as you'd have others do unto you. Be polite and courteous at all times. Remember that you're not communicating with a computer screen, but with a human being who has thoughts and feelings just like you. So, always think of the person on the receiving end of your messages.



do you ever pull ppl aside and discuss this ^^^ with them? one person particular on this site comes across as she is better than everyone and seems like she is always looking for a fight. thanks


Thank you so much to point  out  the Golden rule again, Erin.



Courtesy  &  a spirit of tolerance towards others are  so much more attractive....... It invites others to an exchange of ideas instead of a confrontation.  



I am a newcomer to Circle of Moms as well & for the very few comments I have read so far, I also found some that came across as extremely judgemental & even condescending.



I am glad that you have this system of flagging in place.  



 



 

GUPPIE - posted on 12/08/2009

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Quoting Erin:

*Do unto others, as you'd have others do unto you. Be polite and courteous at all times. Remember that you're not communicating with a computer screen, but with a human being who has thoughts and feelings just like you. So, always think of the person on the receiving end of your messages.



do you ever pull ppl aside and discuss this ^^^ with them? one person particular on this site comes across as she is better than everyone and seems like she is always looking for a fight. thanks


 

Robin - posted on 11/21/2009

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Thanks for the helpful insight. I am new to COM and am enjoying all that I've come by.

Erin - posted on 11/21/2009

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*Do unto others, as you'd have others do unto you. Be polite and courteous at all times. Remember that you're not communicating with a computer screen, but with a human being who has thoughts and feelings just like you. So, always think of the person on the receiving end of your messages.



do you ever pull ppl aside and discuss this ^^^ with them? one person particular on this site comes across as she is better than everyone and seems like she is always looking for a fight. thanks

Diana - posted on 11/13/2009

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p.s. can you point me in the direction of a group or groups for grandmas? I have 3 grown sons and 5 grandchildren. I'd like to be of some help to moms of minor age children but also connect with some grandmas. We don't stop being moms when our kids leave home and start their own families!! Being a mom is a lifelong commitment !!!
My grandkids call me Gigi, (short for gorgeous grandma !) :)
Diana

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