Possibly offensive topic

Julie - posted on 12/12/2009

I agree! I have been there done that. My younger sister went through a "I go to church" thing a few years ago. My husband and I don't go to church. But we believe in God and all that. We don't go to Church because of something that happend when we got married 26 years ago. Our children are now 25 and 24 years old. They are finding their own way with God. They are now asking quesions about what happened and we tell them the truth. Our minister said some very nasty things to us and my mom about me being in the "motherly way" when we got married. He and I had been dating for 2 years before we got married and going to that Church the entire time. Sunday was a kind of Date day. We would go to Church and go out to lunch. Then we would spend the day with either his grandparents or with my family. We were both very active in the Church we were both in Youth Group. When our minister said these things to us it made us rethink what we had been told our hole lives. That God is a forgiving God and he is. BUT not the people that work for him. Some of them are just mean and nastey people.

Jamie - posted on 12/12/2009

Our Church teaches babywise and growing kids God's way, neither of which we agree with or practice. I get rude comments sometimes, but here's the thing. The Bible is pretty open on how we should raise our children. Yes, we need to discipline them, but it's also big on responding to their needs, comforting them, etc.... And the rod verses are not written for small children, but instead older males. So much gets lost in translation and everyone puts their own two cents in to everything. It just makes me sad that people are so forceful and harsh with each other. Is that really how we should be treating each other? No.

Jamie - posted on 12/12/2009

Our Church teaches babywise and growing kids God's way, neither of which we agree with or practice. I get rude comments sometimes, but here's the thing. The Bible is pretty open on how we should raise our children. Yes, we need to discipline them, but it's also big on responding to their needs, comforting them, etc.... And the rod verses are not written for small children, but instead older males. So much gets lost in translation and everyone puts their own two cents in to everything. It just makes me sad that people are so forceful and harsh with each other. Is that really how we should be treating each other? No.

Keeley - posted on 12/12/2009

People like that deserve to be told exactly where to go, she should never of said anything like that to you, that is just bang out of order.

Do not take on board what this person has said to you, she obviously needs to take a step back an check herself. Nobdy suffers in Gods eyes.

You have to let children maket heir own decisions when they are old enough.

Bernice - posted on 12/12/2009

God so loved the world he gave His only Son, Jesus, to save us. We are all on a journey, each traveling in their own time. May the Love of our Father in heaven save each one of us, even though none of us is perfect.

Talya - posted on 12/12/2009

Personally, I have never been a victim of religious harassment, and I am sorry you have;however, it is your choice to do as you see fit for your child. I think the most important things are: does your child feel loved, are they happy, and is she safe? If you answer "yes" to all of those, then you are fine. As far as the "hater" is concerned, I don't know about her "God" or her "Church", but I am a Catholic Christian and the only person allowed to judge me, and decide if I am "good", is God Himself. No person here on Earth has that right or power! She is the one who will suffer from her judgments, not you!

Lisa - posted on 12/12/2009

Everyone is allowed to believe in whatever religion they choose to believe in. No one should judge another on who and what they believe in. My child is 20 years old and while growing up I took him to church. He is not baptized because it is his choice on what religion he chooses to worship. It is not for me to choose for him. If you believe in God, than thats the only one who should be able to judge you not someone else.

RenaFaye - posted on 12/12/2009

Hannah, it looks like you already have some great answers. I would be courteous towards the person (is she another control freak like the husband I read about earlier?). I could say "you are entitled to your opinion," or "Jesus loves sinners and died for them also," and, "I'll pray for you that your become more tolerant and loving towards fellow children of God." A few years ago, I read a book called "Games People Play." You probably could find a copy at the library. It explains many different situations where people seem to be trying to attack you or manipulate you. Maybe this woman is trying to bully you into coming to her church and adding money to the church's collections!

Coralie - posted on 12/12/2009

All you need to raise children is a great deal of love. People should not force their religeous beliefs on others. Your daughter can make her own mind up about religion when she is old enough. I suggest you avoid this person in future. x

Krista - posted on 12/12/2009

I posted this to another thread, but I think it bears repeating here: this woman was way over the top, but really, there are many of us who find ANY proselytizing seriously offensive, no matter how well-intentioned. Why? Because, if I wanted to be a Christian, I'd BE a Christian, and it's really irritating that so many Christians assume that we non-Christians are just so ignorant that the only reason we don't follow Christ is because we just don't know any better and that we poor dears need to be saved from ourselves.

Christine - posted on 12/12/2009

people are just so rude! when you have a child, some automatically feel that have a right to give their opinion on whatever you do or choose. The easiest you can deal without lowering yourself to their standards is to simply walk away and feel sorry for their lonely, bitter and shallow existence. That person is truly offensive.

Cheryl - posted on 12/11/2009

I'm sorry that someone was so harsh and unfeeling in the way they presented their beliefs. "They will know us by our love," is a very important scripture to me. I hope that you won't judge all Christians or the faith by this comment to you. I do hope that your daughter will have the opportunity to learn about Christ's love for her and why He came, however. She won't have the opportunity to accept His message for herself, or not, if she doesn't hear it. I'd like to encourage you to seek out loving Christians that can give you and her that message "in truth and in love." God's Blessings.

Carolee - posted on 12/11/2009

My own grandmother tells me that my son is going to go to Hell because I don't take him to church. Specifically HER kind of church. She's Seventh-Day-Adventist, which is what I was raised as... but got out of as soon as I could... too much judgement and "you're going to hell" for me!

Medic - posted on 12/11/2009

The funny thing about this thread is that I read it posted to it then was told today that I'm a bad mom for not going to church and after reading all these my response was the bible was written by man for man and to go to hell one first must believe but if I did I would make it fun

Bailey - posted on 12/11/2009

Unfortunately, yes. Welcome to the nasty world of religious extremists. There are a fair number; the ones that are most prominent in the news these day are usually there because their children have either blown themselves up in the name of their "god" or those moms have thrown their children on that same alter. You decide which is right... and which is an illusion...

Kristi - posted on 12/11/2009

I am not sure what kind of christian she believes that she is put from my experience is that the only person to judge you is god himself. I am not sure what religion she is but I don't recall ever being instructed by the church to ever condemn someone elses ways of living just because they do not live their life the way I believe that they should. I beleif she needs to re read the bible herself as you are suspose to welcome everyone regardless of religion, and to pray for those that need it... I guess she must have missed those lessons in church. You do not have to go to church ro belief in god. Just know that what is in your heart is all that matters

Shannon - posted on 12/11/2009

IGNORE IT....GOD does not work in that way....we are all children of GOD even tho I do not practice....and she needs to watch her mouth because KARMA is a real thing on EARTH where she is currently existing!

Wanda - posted on 12/11/2009

Not as far as child rearing is concerned. Someone like that is probably a pencil short of a whole box and I wouldn't let comments like that distress you. Do what you think is right and raise your child to be a good citizen. Don't worry about what the nut-bags say. My children are now grown and have left the nest, so I speak with experience.

Brittany - posted on 12/11/2009

if that lady says she is a christian then why is she tryin to tell you that you are doing wrong with your child. someone that lives toward the lord would not tell you that your daughter is gonna live a horrible fate! i am christia i go to church, maybe not as near as much as i prolly should but i know that that is so wrong! if it was me going through that i am pretty sure that i would tell her to kiss my inperfect @$$!....an then ask her how she thinks that she is god to decide that my daughter is gonna have a bad fate! what ever!

Shelby - posted on 12/11/2009

if this woman ever opened her bible she would see that it is not specific sins (especially not her pet peeve sins of certain childraising) that result in God's eternal punishment, but a general hatred toward God. therefore, her sin of telling you this will send her to hell just as much as any sin if she is not trusting in Christ to be sinless on her behalf. if you trust in Christ to be perfect on your behalf then His righteousness covers your sin, ALL and ANY sin, and you receive what He deserved; eternal life in heaven. she has NO concept of grace, which is what Christianity is all about. it is not about earning heaven by certain good deeds. believing that will send HER straight to hell! i'm sorry you had to put up with her comments. what a nasty lie!

Kelly - posted on 12/11/2009

Quoting Mandy:

Pray for her sweetheart. That's all I can say. As a Christian and a child of God it is our job to lead the lost to the Lord, and help those who need, pray for those who need, and be there for people- not criticize them. I am sorry that you encountered someone so hateful, but I would hope that you would look into your faith and say a prayer for her, be slow to anger, and quick to pray. Teach your daughter to do the same.

Thank You!  Totally agree!

Kelly - posted on 12/11/2009

No, I don't go to a church anymore because of these extremists, or the hypocrites. I'm not a thologian by any means but I do recall something about, "judge not..lest ye be judged." Its not right for another to judge you or your actions.I dont think that a humble and kind christian woman would be so harsh if she though you were missing an important message from God. I tell my daughter more and more that I know she will understand as she gets older.. There is so much corruption in most churches I keep my faith in good health much better at home. God Bless You and your Family,

Stephanie - posted on 12/11/2009

Don't worry about it hun. There will always be fanatics out there who wish to judge. Do you believe what she said? So long as you feel that you are doing what is best for your children then no one else's views matters accept of course the child's father. What my fiance and I (as well as his x-wife) decided is to take our kids to a UU church, because ours teaches the children about many different religions. This way they get a rounded and open minded view of ALL religions, so that when they are older, they can chose which path is right for them. Hope that helps and again, don't worry. That sounds like ravings from an insecure close minded fanatic.

Mandy - posted on 12/11/2009

Pray for her sweetheart. That's all I can say. As a Christian and a child of God it is our job to lead the lost to the Lord, and help those who need, pray for those who need, and be there for people- not criticize them. I am sorry that you encountered someone so hateful, but I would hope that you would look into your faith and say a prayer for her, be slow to anger, and quick to pray. Teach your daughter to do the same.

Jessica - posted on 12/11/2009

My husband and I do not go to church anymore because we belive in different things he is first christian and i am baptist and our son goes to a baptist church but we belive that you dont have to go to a church to belive in god he is with you always and for someone to say anything like this mother said to you will get her upcomings and she herself will be judged before god one day and she will have to explian why she cast judgement on others.. You just raise your daughter how you see fit noone elses opion matters.

Leanne - posted on 12/11/2009

oh yes many times. My children were not raised with church going or religion either, I let them make that choice them selves, that right i let THEM CHOOSE. Now my oldest son is 19 he is very very Catholic did the alter boy thing and still helps with Communion. My daughter tried it she was not thrilled and now she is 17 and her religious beleif is "spiritual" My youngest is almost 15 and he does not beleive in a God either but who knows that may change, My kids were raised to respect other peoples beliefs and all though the 2 youngest are not "religious" they do know the Lords Prayer and how to bow their head at a meal when they are at someone's house who requests it. Dont force religion on them but teach them respect for all people and their beliefs wether it be God, Ala, Buddah, whoever. And they will find their own path you may not always like the one they take but it is their soul and spirit. I myself beleive in God but other than my oldest son I am the only one in my house who does. But my family does not bother me about it and they respect my choice.

Debbie - posted on 12/11/2009

I was raised catholic and even went to catholic school...went to church 6 of 7 days a week. As I grew older I realized that I didn't always agree with everything that the nuns were teaching us. So after I got married and then had my daughter I taught her to believe in God but I left the choices to her as to what she wanted to do. Isn't that the most important thing...believe in him. I think this woman is missing the point entirely and I would just ignore her because she too will meet her maker someday and I don't think that he will be happy with her...God Bless

Rebecca - posted on 12/11/2009

So many people. So many beliefs. So many different ideas. And in most faiths or belief systems, you will have those who judge. Some are not judgeing. They are saying what they say out of concern. Cause they really believe what they were taught. They may be hoping to save you and your children from a horrible afterlife. Whether they are judging or genuinly concerned, don't let it get to you. I personally would not have let that bother me one bit. Neither should you.

Michelle - posted on 12/10/2009

Its your own decision and thats all that matters! You are the mom not her. Mt husbands grandmother tried to pull the same stuff on me. And i told point blank that he is my son not hers and i will raise him the way i feel is best. I have not baptized my son yet and i dont plan on it either. My husband and I feel that our children should be able to choose a religion that they want (if they want one that is) on there own. They are their own person and they need to make there own decisions!

Karen - posted on 12/10/2009

Well, she really sounds like someone you'd want as a friend...NOT!!!!! She doesn't sound very nice at all, apart from being extremely nasty, she's incredibly rude....does that seem like a Christian attitude to you?...it certainly doesn't to me!!! Best to stay away from her, she doesn't sound very nice at all.

Jade - posted on 12/10/2009

I bet your from the USA, there are so many crazy Chrisitans there its scary. If there is a God im sure he wouldn't be appreciative of these types of comments, and would appreciate that you are doing the best job with your daughter (what type of person would worship a god that sends kids to hell!?). Does this person think because they go to church tit justifies being a horrible person? Who cares what this moron thinks, im sure you are a lovely mum!

DEBORAH - posted on 12/10/2009

isnt none her damn business how you raise your child its not up to people to judge you you keep doing what your doing and it'll be fine between you and the god

Brenda Lee - posted on 12/10/2009

I am a Christian who rarely goes to church for some of the same idiosyncrasies this woman has imposed upon you. A Christian doesn't judge, we forgive. Some people feel they need to "spread the word" but there again, she wasn't really doing that either. I guess you might be feeling a slight bit insecure with some of your choices, or you wouldn't have felt the need to get other opinions. None-the-less, she probably won't find peace anytime soon with her own choices in life.

Morgan - posted on 12/10/2009

I heard a lot of this when I was preg with my first. I was only 17 and looked 12. People said really hurtful things and I was too young to know what to say. If I could go back I would say something like "shame on you for judging others! I believe that god is forgiving and kind...unlike yourself". I'm sorry you had to deal with a woman like that. If anything young mothers and single mothers need the support of strong women, not their judgement.

Gina - posted on 12/10/2009

I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.

John Lennon

nobody should ever judge some1 elses religion or belief...cant we just all get along an have peace...

Ruth - posted on 12/10/2009

Yes, Hannah, I have experienced this, by my own family! When our daughters were born, both my husband and I considered ourselves agnostic, and chose not to baptize our children, and instead let them learn and choose their own paths as they grew older, like I did very recently. No matter what you believe, or don't believe, it is your business and your right. I am also very turned off by those who feel the need to judge or push their beliefs, whatever they may be, on to others. It is disrespectful to say the least. I am a Wiccan, and I am currently dealing with scrutiny from all sorts of people. Ignorance breeds fear, and it is just something I have to deal with. I would, however, recommend that people who think they know about a religion or belief system other than their own, do a little reading and just maybe they will learn something. Sorry you had that happen to you. I do know how you feel. You are an expert on your daughter and your family so go with what works for you! Best of luck. - Ruth

Hannah - posted on 12/10/2009

Quoting Debbie:

I believe in God and it hurts my heart to read that sooooo many don't beilive. If you don't believe then why does it bother you. God has sent this lady to plant a seed of conviction in you. That is what is wrong with this world, too many people are not raising their children with good moral standards and the Bible gives us that direction. It is the oldest instruction manual we have to live by. There is no way to heaven but through God.

WHAT?! Jesus Christ! If Heaven is full of YOU people I refuse to go!

There is nothing I can say to you except I hope that you are not doing this same thing to other people. Other women who are supposed to be your peers. I find it pathetic and mis-led.

Krista - posted on 12/10/2009

Quoting Debbie:

I believe in God and it hurts my heart to read that sooooo many don't beilive. If you don't believe then why does it bother you. God has sent this lady to plant a seed of conviction in you. That is what is wrong with this world, too many people are not raising their children with good moral standards and the Bible gives us that direction. It is the oldest instruction manual we have to live by. There is no way to heaven but through God.

Debbie, whether you believe or not, nobody enjoys someone telling them they're a crappy parent, even if the accusation is completely baseless. 

And if this lady was sent by God to plant a seed of conviction, then God needs to review his HR policies, because that woman's tactics are more likely to drive people away from religion. I know you might not believe this, but my own husband was raised without religion, and he has better ethics and more integrity than anybody else I know, religious or not religious.

And frankly, it's really rather sad that you have so little faith in your own parenting skills, that you don't think you can teach your kids the difference between right and wrong without relying on a centuries-old book, written by fallible men, which has been translated and re-translated over the years. And as far as it being an instruction manual to live by -- so if I ever have an angry rabble at my door, I should offer them my kids, like Lot did (Genesis 19:8)? Or maybe I could go on a killing spree (Ezekiel 9:8)?  And while we're at it, according to your awesome "instruction manual", slavery is just nifty! (Colossians 3:22).  

Now, I'm not saying that the Bible is all bad. There ARE some good lessons to be learned from there. But for you to imply that anybody who rejects the Bible has no morals, and is raising their kids with no morals? That's just plain offensive. 

Monica - posted on 12/10/2009

i had a problem with my boyfriends mom that was kinda like this. i was 21 and he was 28 when i got preganet. and she would go on and on about how we now HAVE to get married. and I LOST IT on her. then she called my mother up and told her how how i reacted to what she had said ( i guess she was looking for agreement on her side) and my mother enformed her that we are adults and it is up to us what we do... then told her to mind her own business and enjoy the fact that a baby is on the way..... so let just say that after being ripped a new twice and 4 years later she no longer says marriage in my boyfriends and mine direction.

~Jennifer - posted on 12/10/2009

Quoting Debbie:

I believe in God and it hurts my heart to read that sooooo many don't beilive. If you don't believe then why does it bother you. God has sent this lady to plant a seed of conviction in you. That is what is wrong with this world, too many people are not raising their children with good moral standards and the Bible gives us that direction. It is the oldest instruction manual we have to live by. There is no way to heaven but through God.

You DO realize that you just acted in the same manner as the woman the OP was referring to in her original post, right?

Not everyone believes the same things!

Why is that SO hard to comprehend?

Debbie - posted on 12/10/2009

I believe in God and it hurts my heart to read that sooooo many don't beilive. If you don't believe then why does it bother you. God has sent this lady to plant a seed of conviction in you. That is what is wrong with this world, too many people are not raising their children with good moral standards and the Bible gives us that direction. It is the oldest instruction manual we have to live by. There is no way to heaven but through God.

Colleen - posted on 12/10/2009

I was raised as a Catholic, but I do not believe in "organized religion". When I would encounter people like this, I would look at them with all seriousness and tell them that I was a Satanist. They really have NO response prepared for THAT and really, it's not likely that anything you say will make them change their beliefs, so you might as well have a good laugh!!

Sharon - posted on 12/10/2009

I'm not a Christian or anything else, but if I'm not mistaken in the BIBLE it says that only God can judge - right? So perhaps shes "going to hell" with the rest of the psycho judgmental religious nuts.

Kori - posted on 12/10/2009

I think that some christians believe they have a duty to show you the "error of your ways"...often times coming across too strong. Unfortunately it reflects negitivity on christians and has the opposite effect they were really trying to achieve. Im a christian myself and I believe that everyone has there own road to follow. We should be an encouraging voice for God, not only for others but for ourselves. I hope that she takes a look at her own actions and realizes that what she is putting out really does not reflect what God's love and forgivness really means for us. God Bless.

Keri - posted on 12/10/2009

I think that is terrible that a person would say such a thing to you. Most Christians do not believe that way. And we certainly do not want to offend you. I am a Christian and I do strongly encourage you to get to know Jesus, but not because of your fate, because having Jesus in your life is so rewarding. I hope you do not let one crazy lady ruin how you feel about God and other Christians.

Amanda - posted on 12/09/2009

yes i have..... just look at them and tell them their God tells them not to judge. then walk away and know that they are being stupid

LATOYA - posted on 12/09/2009

Tell her your daughter was given to you for a reason. And let her know that God has planned her life before she proceeded to tell you how to do your job. Tell regardless of what she thinks, you know that GOd doesn't mke mistakes- paople do. And to go to hell- because GOd is forgiving and she has in the eye of the Lord, no rights to judge!!!!

Megan - posted on 12/09/2009

ok so i understand the whole deal about differing opinions but she didnt asket to be converted so stop the b****ing about eachothers religions. she just asked WHAT TO DO if pushy religious people get in her face. stop argueing about yalls religions and help the woman out.
as for me tell her to stick it where the sun dont shine. (crude but effective)

Sandi - posted on 12/09/2009

I think people who feel this way should keep their mouths shut. It's never wrong to tell them so. Little minds need to be corrected once in a while.

Tamilyn - posted on 12/09/2009

We let our child decide if he wanted to be christian or catholic since we both have different views on God from totally different religions. But I do not think it harmed him in fact I think it strengthened his beliefs in God and gave him a positive way to focus on things that made him feel badly. Do not believe for a second that You are Daming your child and she will reap what you sow God has a plan for everyone and when He is ready He will call on your child and yourself if it is His will! I have a giant problem with church settings and I firmly Believe that God works through us weather or not we participate in an organized religion or not! there are many ways to worship besides going to Church!