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Amy - posted on 03/07/2013

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I would sit down with her immediately and let her know that the man who she calls "daddy" isn't her biological father. Explain that you got pregnant with someone else who wasn't ready to be a dad. Just reassure her that it doesn't change the relationship with her dad at all but you wanted to let her know because she has a 1/2 brother who wants to meet her. You can't go back and change things now so it's best to get it out in the open as soon as possible. She may not have questions at this time or she may have a lot. Your school probably has a psychologist that she can sit down with if you feel she needs someone one the outside to talk to.

Dove - posted on 03/07/2013

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My opinion is that you should have raised her with the truth, so there would BE no big sit down talk or stress about how she would handle it. It 'could' have just been normal life to her to know that she has a father out there that wasn't ready to be a parent, so her Daddy stepped in to take that role. You can't turn back time though, so....

I, unfortunately, do not have any ideas on how you would start that conversation now, but I do think it is best to get to it as soon as possible. Good luck!

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To be honest, this other lady is not part of your life, and her child is not part of your family.
I have a 7 yr old, and it would be grossly unfair if I was you to bring this innocent kid into a mess caused by adults.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but protect your daughter.

However, she does need to know that her "dad" is not her biological dad. Her "dad" is your spouse however. Do not call it the biological dad "real dad", as that is also unfair. He is just the person that helped "make her", nothing more. That love between your spouse and her is one of dad and daughter and that too must not be shaken.

Remember Family first". Please go to a child psychologist. This is a major thing that needs proffessional help. You dont want to damage your kid inside.
Hope this helps!

Jill - posted on 03/11/2013

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I would ask if she has any friends that "have a different dad". My husband was in the same situation as your spouse. She is my step daughter. HE raised her as his own and still continues to this day. ( she is now 18.) He told her when she was about 5 yrs old that he was her Daddy and not her Father. IT takes a special person to be a dad and that any man can be a father. I think she will understand and don't let her be afraid to ask questions about the father, just be careful how you would answer her question. Don't talk down about the father. Let her make some of the decision about meeting the brother. You don't want to force her into a relationship if she doesn't fully understand or she might no be ready for.

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