Potty training

Shelly - posted on 01/15/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My son will be 4 in May and he is NOT potty trained!! We've tried just about everything...I think. Any ideas?? He just won't tell us when he has to go. If we walk him in there he goes, but if we don't ask he will have a wet pull up!! I put "big boy undies" on him, didn't matter. He goes in those too!!!!

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Angela - posted on 01/16/2009

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#1 don't use pull ups. they are useless, other than to prevent a mess for you. get a plastic cover for his matress to prevent stinky stains. Positive reinforcement works wonders! I used a sticker chart and it worked almost spontainiously! also, you need to trick him mentally. Talk about school. if he wants to go to school let him know that "big boys who go to school, cant pee in their pants because it will make the teachers cry". Also, get him a little potty that ccan sit on the floor, and take him in with you every time you go, and daddy, or any other role modle too (big bro, grandparents, sitters, etc.) revolve his life around potty time, and eventually he will realise that it is yucky to wear diapers (also, maybe every time you change him, act really disgusted about having to change his potty. and, in a gentle way, make him feel bad for going in his pants. only after he is potty trained, is it ok to have accidents. but i would totally recomend letting him pick some really cool big boy underwear and get him into those ASAP.

Merry - posted on 01/16/2009

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I didn't do pull ups because in my son's mind it was still a diaper. Same thing with big boy underwear. He subconsiously knew that there was something on him. I tried leaving him naked in the house. He was more aware and would hold it. He didn't tell me at first that he had to go. I'd just notice him squirming and take him to the bathroom. You've probably tried this, but once Calvin would go in the toilet switched to giving him treats (our case popcorn) if he told us he had to go not just if he went. Hope that helps.

Valeria - posted on 01/16/2009

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You are not alone.  My son wasn't potty trained until he was almost 4 years old, and he had delayed speech, which made things even worse.  When I finally decided to put him in daycare, he chose go to the restroom because everyone else was going to the restroom.  Boys are more stubborn, so it takes more time to do everything with them.

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Quoting Shelly:



Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone.  It's much harder with boys! My daughter was potty trained just before her 2nd birthday.  I've done every "trick" in the book.  Like you I work 5 days a week and my husband is home with him right now.  He just doesn't work with him as hard as I think he needs it.  I know it will happen, it's just very stressful waiting for that time to come.  Thanks again!!



Been thiinking about this most of the night. Another thing we tried was to let our son see his daddy doing a wee in the toilet and saying "look i'm a big boy". You could try that.





 

Katy - posted on 01/15/2009

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Make the potty more fun for him. Add blue food coloring to the water and see if he can turn it green. Add bubble liquid to the water so he makes bubbles when he goes. Put stickers on the bottom of the toilet so he can aim. Let him earn tickets when he goes in the potty, then let him buy something he loves with the tickets. Let him pick the music in the bathroom only while he's trying to go. I bet you can think of other fun stuff that he'll like even better. I used to work with a class of 30 3 yr olds at a daycare, so we had lots of techniques we used to get the kids to go in the potty. Oh, and one other thing...enlist a family member (like Grandma) that he gets to call on the phone every time he goes in the potty. 4 yr olds LOVE to talk! Good luck:)

Monica - posted on 01/15/2009

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Thank goodness my boy isn't the only almost 4 year old that isn't totally potty trained. He has accidents here or there but peer pressure does help.

Erica - posted on 01/15/2009

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We had the same problem with our oldest who will be 4 next week.  He didn't get it until we put him in a school where they had to go another room to use the potty.  When he saw all the other kids going, he finally did.  He started there in early September, had a few accidents at the beginning but within a few weeks, he was fully trained.  I think peer pressure was the only thing that really worked for him. Even now, we have him in a pullup for bed and he's just starting to get up to go at night if he needs to. 

Danielle - posted on 01/15/2009

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We started potty training my son at 18mo., he's now almost 3. He got it down within a month or so. Here's what worked for us...a basic training potty (no fancy gadgets, we have the baby bjorn potty chair), be VERY consistent about asking him to go potty (we did every 45 min to 1 hour), and,like Melanie does, we would let him run around the house naked. Positive rewards were very helpful also. We used stickers or m&m's. Mostly it's consistency & patience on your part.

Melanie - posted on 01/15/2009

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Quoting Shelly:

Potty training

My son will be 4 in May and he is NOT potty trained!! We've tried just about everything...I think. Any ideas?? He just won't tell us when he has to go. If we walk him in there he goes, but if we don't ask he will have a wet pull up!! I put "big boy undies" on him, didn't matter. He goes in those too!!!!



Just a thought.  I co worker of my husbands said to let them run around at home with nothing on their bottoms.  I know that sounds drastic, but I've been doing it during the day with my 2 1/2 yr old son and so far it seems to be working.  It's worth a try.

Shelly - posted on 01/15/2009

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Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone.  It's much harder with boys! My daughter was potty trained just before her 2nd birthday.  I've done every "trick" in the book.  Like you I work 5 days a week and my husband is home with him right now.  He just doesn't work with him as hard as I think he needs it.  I know it will happen, it's just very stressful waiting for that time to come.  Thanks again!!

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I was very lucky with my son he was 3 and a half and in big boys pants. He had an accident at pre-school by doing a number 2 on the toilet floor as he didn't make it in time. He actually tried cleaning it up himself and didn't like it. From thereon he was dry.



Perhaps when your son has an accident ask him to help clean it up. It might work. Good luck.

Kerri - posted on 01/15/2009

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Hi, my son will be four in February and he is not potty trained either. I fell I am in the same boat as you. However my son had some mild set backs so he wasn't ready to potty train at 2 like my daughter was. Boys are definately more difficult to potty train than girls. I have a 2 year old girl who is starting to potty train. I am hoping that I can potty train them together but my daughter likes to go on the potty my son hates it. I have one potty chair for my daughter and a potty seat that goes on the toliet for my son. Everyone tells me not to push him it will come. I think Jennifer is right though they need consistency. I have a hard time with that because I work and their dad is home daytime with them and forgets about potty time and when they go to day care they don't take them unless they ask and my 2 don't ask yet. But stay strong and be consistent. Someone once told me that they put the potty chair in the living room because it was the only place their daughter would sit on it (in front of the TV) it seems odd but you might try it if he likes TV or try reading books and singing songs. Rewards work too. My son told me the other day that if he goes potty he will get a sticker and for the first time he sat on the potty which is a big step for him so we are working on that now - rewards. Hope these suggestions can help. Just remember you are not alone I know a few 4 year olds not potty trained. Good Luck!

Bobbi - posted on 01/15/2009

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Shelly, my son is 18 months and this is what has worked for him.  At 15 months we bought the training potty, and had it sitting in the bathroom, just so he could see it and we could talk about it casually for a few months(I got this idea from when I crate trained my puppy), so when you start using it, they are more comfortable with it because they have been around and they know it's not scary.



THEN, at the end of each bath I would ask him to go "peepee", and after a few times it worked, we would drain the water and say ok, time to go peepee.  Then, after he would go on command(so to speak) we moved him to the training potty and asked him to go peepee in there, and voila..he goes now everytime we place him on the toilet. 



Oh, yeah positive reward is HUGE! Everytime he went for us, we would praise him with 1 mini-marshmellow. Something that is yummy and that he doesn't get regularly.  Goldfish, or crackers wouldn't do the trick, you know what I mean.(rewards are another way we trained our puppy)



Now, we are working on him telling us he has a dirty diaper.  He is big on sign-language, so I think that may help, but who knows.  I guess the sign-language is good because he can't talk yet.  So, anyway, after he goes, he'll walk over to me and pat his bottom and say bum bum. I'm not sure if he is just telling me he went or if he is insinuating he wants to be changed, but it's a start.



What I've learned is that it takes lots of time and consistency on my part...



One, last thing...sorry this is so long.....a girlfriend of mine mentioned they have diapers that get cool after they urinate, I think to help them feel uncomfortable, and WANT to change into a clean diaper.



Good luck.

Bobbi - posted on 01/15/2009

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Shelly, my son is 18 months and this is what has worked for him.  At 15 months we bought the training potty, and had it sitting in the bathroom, just so he could see it and we could talk about it casually for a few months(I got this idea from when I crate trained my puppy), so when you start using it, they are more comfortable with it because they have been around and they know it's not scary.



THEN, at the end of each bath I would ask him to go "peepee", and after a few times it worked, we would drain the water and say ok, time to go peepee.  Then, after he would go on command(so to speak) we moved him to the training potty and asked him to go peepee in there, and voila..he goes now everytime we place him on the toilet. 



Oh, yeah positive reward is HUGE! Everytime he went for us, we would praise him with 1 mini-marshmellow. Something that is yummy and that he doesn't get regularly.  Goldfish, or crackers wouldn't do the trick, you know what I mean.(rewards are another way we trained our puppy)



Now, we are working on him telling us he has a dirty diaper.  He is big on sign-language, so I think that may help, but who knows.  I guess the sign-language is good because he can't talk yet.  So, anyway, after he goes, he'll walk over to me and pat his bottom and say bum bum. I'm not sure if he is just telling me he went or if he is insinuating he wants to be changed, but it's a start.



What I've learned is that it takes lots of time and consistency on my part...



One, last thing...sorry this is so long.....a girlfriend of mine mentioned they have diapers that get cool after they urinate, I think to help them feel uncomfortable, and WANT to change into a clean diaper.



Good luck.

Bobbi - posted on 01/15/2009

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Shelly, my son is 18 months and this is what has worked for him.  At 15 months we bought the training potty, and had it sitting in the bathroom, just so he could see it and we could talk about it casually for a few months(I got this idea from when I crate trained my puppy), so when you start using it, they are more comfortable with it because they have been around and they know it's not scary.



THEN, at the end of each bath I would ask him to go "peepee", and after a few times it worked, we would drain the water and say ok, time to go peepee.  Then, after he would go on command(so to speak) we moved him to the training potty and asked him to go peepee in there, and voila..he goes now everytime we place him on the toilet. 



Oh, yeah positive reward is HUGE! Everytime he went for us, we would praise him with 1 mini-marshmellow. Something that is yummy and that he doesn't get regularly.  Goldfish, or crackers wouldn't do the trick, you know what I mean.(rewards are another way we trained our puppy)



Now, we are working on him telling us he has a dirty diaper.  He is big on sign-language, so I think that may help, but who knows.  I guess the sign-language is good because he can't talk yet.  So, anyway, after he goes, he'll walk over to me and pat his bottom and say bum bum. I'm not sure if he is just telling me he went or if he is insinuating he wants to be changed, but it's a start.



What I've learned is that it takes lots of time and consistency on my part...



One, last thing...sorry this is so long.....a girlfriend of mine mentioned they have diapers that get cool after they urinate, I think to help them feel uncomfortable, and WANT to change into a clean diaper.



Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 01/15/2009

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We did the underwear along with tight jeans when potty training. Our two girls both decided really quickly that they didn't like how that felt. Girls may be different than boys though.

April - posted on 01/15/2009

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I also have a little boy that I potty trained around 2 years old he is 4 now. But one of the moms I talked with said there is a window with boys and if you miss it then they take a while to get going. She also told me not to push and that it will come. I'm sure your getting frustrated but keep it up and it will come. By the way have you tried putting cheerios in maybe that will make it more of a game for him.



 



Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 01/15/2009

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Hi...My son did the same thing for about 6 months but hes 2 1/2. He was just being stubbern.If you don't feel he has a medical reason for his not being potty trained its probably because he just donst want to and wants to do his own thing.What I did was I told my son (who wore pull ups) that this was the last pack of diapers I was buying. I told his that he has his potty chair insert (I personally like these over potty chairs then you are not training them twice..once in potty chair then again into toilet) and I told him he already picked out his big boy underwear so this is it we are doing this. DEFINATELY take away the pull ups ASAP. I like them and used them with both my kids but I think they just enable them to not want to be potty trained. Then pick a weekend where you will go NO WHERE. Give his your speach about it the changes that will come and be nice but make sure he knows you mean business. Then first thing when he wakes up put him on the potty. Leave him on there 15 minutes. If he dosnt go put him on there 30 minutes later until he goes. After he goes wait an hour or so then do it again. The mistake I made was I gave up and put his back on Pull Ups. It was about me and not wanting to go through it because I had done it before with my daughter and its a pain in the butt. If any of that sounds familiar (which it may not) but if it does then you just have to remind yourself it will be tough at first but after that it will make your life so much easier!! CONSISTANCY IS THE KEY...DO NOT QUIT THIS PROCESS UNTIL HE WILL GO ON HIS OWN WHEN HE NEEDS TO. This may take a few days but you have to keep at it. Dont under any circumstances give him the pull ups back. Remember, if hes not in preschool now...most preschools (at least in my area) will not accept a child into thier program who is of that age and has yet to be trained. Especially if they are in Kindergarten. Hope this helps.

Jennifer

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