Potty training advice/tips/method for my boy?

Ellie - posted on 08/06/2012 ( 45 moms have responded )

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Dear Moms,



I desperately need a help and some informations, advice or sharing a success stories for potty training. My first child is about 2-year-old now, a boy and recently i've been trying to potty train him.

He could tell me that he did 'papaw (pooo-poo)', or pee, but he would tell me after he did it in his pants :(



I've been trying not putting any pull-ups during the day ( i just put him on his regular loose-pants), set the timer every 15 minutes, then take him to the bathroom, encouraged him to use his potty train chair but nothing happened. He refused to pee (saying 'no-no') and even refused to use his potty chair (didn't want to sit on it, but he will use it for playing). So I've tried teach him pee by standing..but again even though I set the timer every 15 minutes, he still won't pee. He'll pee in between those time! Overall, he still pee or poo in his pants now. Like today he probably had more than 10 accidents (both pee and poo-poo). And cleaning up not fun at all. I'm so getting frustrated.



Has anyone experience something like this? I need guidance/tips/etc what the best method I should use to teach my boy to use his potty train.What should I do?

Thanks so much for the help!



Note : I have additional question though : bare bottom method vs underpants method... Which one is more effective?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amber - posted on 08/08/2012

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my son was closer to 3 before he could really control going potty,but once he got the hang of it, he trained pretty fast! My son also was scared to pee standing up( not sure why) so I had him sit and he liked doing it that way. He liked using the big potty too, so I bought just a potty seat for the big potty. Maybe have him look at books when he sits down to try and praise him for just trying it. We had a sticker chart also. I hate to say but poop was a bit harder to get him to do, and I ended up using a M&M as a reward when he would poop LOL. Now he is 5 and just finally will stand up to pee. It will happen, It just takes time Good Luck :)

Mandy - posted on 08/08/2012

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My son is now 3 years 4 months and has been using the toilet independently for about 6 months. He was ready to go at that age and went from nappies to dry undies in 4 days. A few times prior we had tried but he used to have massive tantrums about not sitting on the potty or toilet and then wet his pants straight afterwards. I ended up using a method outlined in a book called "Potty Training 1,2,3" by Gary Ezzo. I highly recommend you get this book!

Dove - posted on 08/07/2012

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At just or about 2 I wouldn't be putting any effort into it at all unless HE is taking the lead and needing assistance. At this point my 'effort' would be having an open door bathroom policy, letting him come with you to the bathroom, talking about what you are doing and what he will be doing when he is a big boy and ready, and having him spend some time with friend or family members who are in the potty learning process.

In another 6 months or so if he hasn't started taking the lead then I'd probably step up the encouragement in the process a bit.

My son was fully day and night trained at 2.75 years with me using this method. He started with a potty seat and did not learn to stand while peeing until he was 3.5. I never set a potty schedule for him or anything like that as that boy has better bladder control than I do. ;) He pees 6 times MAX in 12-14 hours... usually it's less.

Sherri - posted on 08/22/2012

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#1 He is still most likely too young yet. He may be able to tell you after he has gone but may not have the sensation yet before he needs to go. Honestly I would hold off until at least 2 1/2.



However, if you are still insisting that it must be now all diapers must be used for bed time only and underwear 100% of the time no matter how many accidents he has. You need to place him on the potty every 20mins for 1-5mins or until something happens (at this age they usually can't tell you they need to go and get there by themselves).



Good luck!!

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Rowena - posted on 09/18/2013

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i have an 8 yrs old son and he always had poo poo on her pants , and he di not know that he had

Lynn - posted on 06/28/2013

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my son will be turning 4 the end of july he knows when he goes will tell me or my husband he has to poop or that he had peed or peed and needs a change. i do the whole wait twenty minutes after he drinks to try to get him to use potty and even did target practice..he goes into the potty and takes the cherrios or cereal out and throws them away because they are yucky..i keep telling him if we can get you out of diapers we can get you big boy underwear like thomas still no success...i want to get him trained sooner than later and i know i can't force it and it's a patience game but i also want to get him into preschool soon because i know he will benefit from it greatly with being around other kids and getting some routine and structure down..any ideas

Keri - posted on 09/16/2012

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Don't pressure him. Boys almost ALWAYS take longer than girls. My son didn't have a grasp on daytime wetting until after he was 3, while my daughter was fully potty trained before she was 2.

Dana - posted on 09/15/2012

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My daughter potty trained a little over 2 and she pretty much did it herself. I would place her potty in eye sight (I would show her where I put it) of where ever she was playing and let her run around with out pants on. She had some accidents but not as many as I expected. Gradually I moved the potty further and further away until it was in the normal bathroom. I didn't mind if she used a potty vs. the normal toilet. I think I was lucky though and we did not have many accidents either at home, school or out and about however she was eager to use the potty. I actually had bought her little potty when she was 18 mos and left it in my bathroom. She would sit on the potty even at 18mos and pee a little here and there before bath time or if she saw me doing it. I will however tease her until she's old and gray about the day she climbed on the couch back and peed behind it yelling fountain mommy fountain. I made sure to keep everything light and funny. If there was accident either then or now I'd just tell her it happens to us all. At bedtime though we still use a diaper even at 4. Most of the time the diaper is dry but I've learned, the hard way, it's better to change a diaper in the morning than the bedding at 3am. Bottom line, let him guide you, he'll do it when he's ready and you rarely see a 6 yr old in a diaper.

Leah - posted on 09/09/2012

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To each his own it worked for us...every kid is different and needs different methods potty training doesnt stop just because we are in bed...

Rebecca Christine - posted on 09/09/2012

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Lots of briefs. Daddy needs to show him how it's done and a simple swat to a bottom didn't hurt all three of my sons trained by one with minimal accidents until two. Most were my fault; as traveling made potty stops very hard :(

Sarah - posted on 09/07/2012

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Probably no one will agree with me but my son took forever to toilet train. I struggled for a while and tried every trick I could find. Bottom line - his body just developed much more slowly than other boys in getting that nerve connection between bladder and brain. So I stopped fighting it and used a technique I got from a doctor at Children's Hospital in Denver. He advised us when he was 5 to take away a priviledge from him until he peed in toilet, then give it back. But if he wet is pants/diaper pull-up, we took it away again. It took about a week and he was trained in the day time. Nighttime training wasn't complete until he was about 7 years old and could hold it through the night. Poop took forever! He could only poop in his pull-up for a very long time because of some fear of the toilet that he couldn't verbalize. So we just waited until he was ready. His self control was amazing. He never had an accident at school, and finally, when his body and butt were bigger managed to poop on the toilet. Maybe that was 3rd grade. But with each stage, when it was time he mastered it quickly. So I guess it was when his body was ready. Remember, no one goes to high school not potty trained. And the person needing to be trained is the child, not the parent. The parent getting a couple times a night and putting the sleepy child on the toilet isn't toilet training. Its parent training. Good luck and know it will all come together when his boy is ready.

Ronette Michelle - posted on 09/05/2012

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I have been potty training my son brandon at 2 years old he is now almost 3 years old! Milestones. I make this part of his daily routine by regularly explaining/communicating and showing him how and why he has to sit on his potty routinely. Enouragement is definitely key. Good luck!

Dove - posted on 08/09/2012

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I didn't notice your additional question until now. My older kids potty trained bare bottom (pull ups for sleeping and out of the house) and my youngest potty trained himself while still in diapers.

Some people are highly anti-pull ups, but I really think it depends on the kid for what method is most effective.

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Please listen to my advice and try it, it's so simple! Forget pull ups,they're still a diaper,they're not real underwear...stop confusing the kid! I have four kids, all trained the day they turned two and only one accident between them! To toilet train give them their favourite candy or chocolate every time they go. Just a Hershey kiss or a skittle...something small! They will pee every five minutes to get a candy, I would too! It will drive you crazy all those trips but, suddenly they'll go and forget to ask for a candy then you'll realize they're trained lol!..and they'll get sick of the candy quick enough so no worries there!! Trust me it works well. I've trained my own, and some nieces and nephews, this works!

Carol - posted on 08/09/2012

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No real reason he has to be potty trained right now. Give him a little more time. I waited with my boys until 2.5 it was much easier. I did bribe them. Few 3-4 m&m's when they were successful. They were trained in no time.

Dove - posted on 08/09/2012

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Waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning to wake a not quite 3 year old to go pee?! Do both of you a favor and let the poor kid sleep!

Leah - posted on 08/09/2012

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I think if he can understand that he poo pooed or pee peed in his pants and can come and tell you, then he is capable of going to the potty by himself or coming to tell you he has to go...My son will be three next month and he is not fully trained because he is lazy in the mornings lol and he is just used to being able to go in his pamper or pullups...I noticed the difference between my method when I first started and my method when I was fed up/ In the beginning I wasn't consistent because of my schedule and just not up to it (tired after working)/ Now I'm waking up at 3 and 4 in the morning getting him up going to the bathroom it just takes total commitment. Your doing good with the 15 min method but that'll just aggravate you in my opinion. I choose different times like first thing in the morning (almost all children have to pee when they wake) right after breakfast(they should sit on the potty for poo poo after their food has digested in about 15 min but i still recommend they go stand and pee right after every meal then 15 or 20 min send them to poo poo sitting there for about 15 min) during the day(asking do u have to go potty and walking them there to see if they will go) and before bed of course. Make it exciting for them praise them when they do go like with a treat not necessarily the sweetest thing you can find but something they like :) (Say Good Job) they like that :) During the day keep some loose shorts on so its easily accessible for them. And Im sorry but he does not have the option of saying "no no" make him sit there even if you gotta sit on the floor and read a potty book lol whatever works Whatever you do dont give up! And one more thing if Dad is at home let him go in the bathroom with him when he has to use the bathroom and say see daddy go potty that actually is what taught my son to go to the potty standing up (of course he didnt get that from me lol)

May - posted on 08/08/2012

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I have a nephew who did everything early (walking, talking, potty etc) and than encountered difficulties later on. He peed the bed until 9, he stuttered etc., but there was also many changes at once in his life (divorce, many adjustment problems with single mom and finances etc.). Just saying, it's doable, of course at early ages (he was potty trained at 1yrs) but be gentle...there is already so much on their plates, especially those who are facing other changes.
My son's potty training was rushed by the "the family; aunts, grandma etc" on my son's milestone "potty training" I wasn't in a hurry and to be honest read on it but still felt I didn't have a full grasp on how to best proceed. So, I was inconsistent, insecure, you name it. He did really well early on, he loved his potty, we would bring it in the livingroom and he'd sit there and read a book and watched TV etc., but it was more of a fun thing. When he peed, he'd be happy and we'd all celebrate it really was fun, but it didn't create progress. It was great to get him going at the beginning, that's all. We tried treats, stickers, so many different things. People told me NEVER to use pull ups, as it will delay progress. Well, of course I used them, for my convenience - I live in an apartment, what am I going to do keep him indoors all the time until he learns to go potty - no way!. People told me never to push it, he would do it when he was ready. I did notice that he was more than ready, but I didn't know how to get him to the "next step". One day, he was with dad in the washroom and he asked dad to put him on the big boy potty....well, that was it. He started only using the big boy potty! Never looked back. He liked going #2 and he liked peeing like dad! That's it. Only advise I have is keep trying different things, when he's ready, he'll tell you. If you need him trained due to daycare or something than you'll just have to make it "your work" with him - consistency. I personally find my son has been a late starter at many things, but he's quite advanced in other areas for his age group. Good luck, it will happen have patience and don't get frustrated, he's doing great!

Jenna - posted on 08/08/2012

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Hi! My son is 2 1/2 and he gets a small treat for going potty. Just two skittles. Lol. It works for now. When we started he got skittles for just sitting on the potty. Now he actually has to go potty to get skittle. I only take him if he wants to and he's starting to ask pretty frequently. I'm not pushing him too hard and hoping everything will just progressively work out but I will do more the closer he gets to 3. I figured by 3 1/2 at the latest he should be done :) good luck I'm sure he will do fine when hes ready

Melissa - posted on 08/08/2012

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Bare bottom method worked for us, but most boys aren't ready to train until about 3 years.

Cathy - posted on 08/08/2012

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Dear Ellie, i had almost same problem with my first born son. He is now 18,see picture. I tried everything,bribes,cherios in the toilet. He was not interested, i think I even spanked him once or twice...it was a long time ago. I was very frustrated, his sister came when he was 2 years old and he was potty trained at about 3 and a half on his own time schedule....he would ask for a diaper then go behind the recliner and then come tell me "all done mommy" so my advice is provide the help and support but it willeventually happen. Just in time for another milestone......

Brittany - posted on 08/08/2012

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He might not be ready, they say it takes boys longer and its usually around 36 months. My son just turned 3 last week and has been potty trained since about April. I let him go without pants all day while we were home. If he had pants on he would just go in his pants, especially #2, he would bring me a diaper when he had to poop and try to get me to put it on. He caught on pretty quickly. I also made a big deal that he went on the potty by clapping, singing, dancing and giving him high fives. Good Luck!! :)

Jeannie - posted on 08/08/2012

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Sorry about my spelling earlier, gotta live auto correct. Lol. I have to disagree with these lovely ladies. My son potty trained at at 2 and I started as son as he could tell me he went in his diaper. I feel like he was pretty self aware at that point. To answer your other question, stick with the underwear...you may get tired of washing them pretty quickly, but pull ups are exactly like diapers. I only used those at night.

Elizabeth - posted on 08/08/2012

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I think 2 is simply too young for boys. Girls seem to be much more fastidious and don't like the feeling of an uncomfortable wet diaper and much easier to transition to panties. My daughter potty-trained in an easy week and shortly thereafter made it through the night. I have twin 3.5 yr. old boys and the process has been incredibly challenging. They could care less about an uncomfortable, smelly diaper and taking time out from playing is like pulling teeth. One twin is much farther along than the other...who is incredibly stubborn regardless. What I've found somewhat productive is keeping them outside nearly ALL day. Shockingly a little boy will tinkle on a tree but not in a toilet. Throw a gummy bear in for positive reenforcement and it's a pretty good recipe for success. I'd recommend shelving the idea for a few month. Ten accidents in a day speaks to an unprepared kiddo and is somewhat setting him up for failure. Good luck!

Andrea - posted on 08/08/2012

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I tried my son at 2 years and 5 months when he was always telling me after he'd already wet his nappy. After a week of accidents I realised he just wasn't ready so we started using pull ups and having a potty to hand incase he asked to go, by the age of 3 he would tell us early all the time when in the house' but we had to be quick to get him to the potty because he couldn't hold it long. He was 3 and a half before he finally got the hang of it properly and could tell in enough time to go to the toilet (he'd decided by this age that he only wanted to use the big toilet) and it was only after this that he would use other peoples toilets, or the ones at nursery! It was then another couple of months before he was out of pull ups at night.
It was so much less stressfull for both of us to let him decide when he was ready, I would ask him if he wanted to go, but wouldn't push it if he said no. We also set up a sticker chart on the bathroom door, he picked a sticker every time he went on the toilet properly.

Donette - posted on 08/08/2012

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Do NOT force it. He will regress. Just relax and let him do it when he is psychologically ready. Potty training is so much more then the act of doing. I did not "potty train" any of my children besides showing them the basics. My dtr fully trained including nights at 3, both boys @ 3 1/2.

Jacqueline - posted on 08/08/2012

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I would say he is not ready.

We started our son when we thought he was ready - at about 2, but he wasn't.

We tried again when we noticed he was regularly dry throughout the day - and did a 3-day method of only wearing underwear.

He is now 3 and is fully trained - at nights too.

Maybe try again when he is more ready

Melissa - posted on 08/08/2012

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I would say he is definitely not ready. Don't stress it. My son is 3 & 1/2, smart as can be..and he is just now being potty trained. We are on day 3 and he is already going to the bathroom on his own. I use the regular toilet, with a step stool. We took him to the store and he picked out his new cool underwear, and I told him..ok let's not make a mess in your new underwears!! And he says ok. The first day I took him every 2 hours, and made him sit (for pee and pooping..just easier for him to get). Now that it's day 3..I still remind him, but he frequently goes to the bathroom just by himself.

Definitely wait till they're ready, it will make it so much easier!

Jeannie - posted on 08/08/2012

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My kids never used a potty chair. I bought a step stool and seat that gotta on tip of the potty. I would let my son stand like Daddy to pee. I would reward him everytime he would go with stickers.my sin was crazy about them. With my daughter it was quarters. Lol. Not cheap. If you live in the country, little boys get really exited about peeing outside. When my son went to my parents he would "water" a tree.



Just remember, stick with it and it WILL happen. Good luck.

Claire - posted on 08/08/2012

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Going thru the same thing with my two year old. The moment I say potty he protests. However with lots of hugs and cheers, he pees in the adult toilet but wont tell me when he needs to go so I set the timer for 30 mins. I appreciate the advice here and I am considering holding on until later.

Angela - posted on 08/08/2012

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My son responded the exact same way yours responds. On Beechnut.com they have some great indicators as to whether a child is ready. My so. Just turned 2 1/2 years old and still isn't ready. Every child is different and develops at different ages. Don't pressure him or it can be traumatic. The suggestions of talking about, open door policy and books and movies about going to the potty have all helped my son make progress. I believe childre. Will be ready at their own time. My little brother is now 4 and he barely learned to poop and not have per accidents during play right before his 4th birthday. Be patient, he'll come around!

Ellie - posted on 08/08/2012

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@ Mandy : thank you for the book info, I will look for that! He did throw tantrums as well, as I put him on the potty he started to cry and said no. I know he wanted to poo-poo (he was grunt and said 'papaw') but he held it. Then I put on his pull-up, he pooped straight away. Oh, geez.. :p



@ Christine : I know it's not supposed to be a stressful process, but I guess I started to stress out :) today he peed on my husband's expensive stereo..(speaking of I do really want to cry...lol). I think i will take a break from it for awhile.. Thanks.

Christine - posted on 08/08/2012

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He's probably not ready. Can't force these things on them, they should want it. People thought I was crazy because I waited til he was 3y/o but it took less than a week and only 1 accident.give him done time, and try again. Potty training shouldn't be stressful!

Ellie - posted on 08/08/2012

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Thank you Tabitha...yeah I think he might be not ready yet. Like yesterday he peed all over the house, like 13 times...I was clueless.. He loves being in the bathroom though, but all he did was playing with his potty chair, refused to sit in it, and he loves flushing the toilet. Well I might stop the training for the moment and give it a try again later.

Tabitha - posted on 08/08/2012

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I'd stop and began when he's almost 3 .. I started really early trying to potty train and it didn't work ...I always used to tell him to let me know but it never worked .. Stopped again . Finally the month of his 3rd birthday came and I told him that hhas to stop doing what he's doing and go to the potty and it just clicked with him . He started using it . Sometimes him being able to c other kids his age go to the potty also encourage him to go more . Also stories and book and movies about the potty until he's tired .. It sounds like he's not ready, but always talk to him about how/what to do when he has to go until he can repeat the steps to u.

Good luck tho !!

Carol - posted on 08/07/2012

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Give the whole idea a break for at least two day. Unless he asks to go potty then praise, but don't even suggest it. When you start again start with a reward system. If he tries for one minute he gets a sticker in his sticker book, if he is successful he gets two or three. When a page of stickers if full he gets a toy or other reward. After he is good at trying, tell him he is too good for trying rewards and he will get success rewards. You can up the reward if he asks instead of being reminded and for #2. I love the cheerios idea too.

Ellie - posted on 08/07/2012

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Thank you Brittney and Carol .. I'm trying the bare bottom just now, and want to see the result. He still resistant using the potty though, when i took him to the bathroom, he used the foot stool and stood for about 5-10 seconds, said no no no and ran out. I wonder if he's actually not ready for potty training yet..? Or should I keep trying.. It's been a week and no progress or improvement at all.

Carol - posted on 08/06/2012

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Ease up! Potty training takes muscle control, real understanding and they will learn if you lighten up. The damage to a child who is traumatized by potty training is real. He will learn if you relax, praise him, keep him clean, make a game, use rewards and when he pushes back just cool the whole exercise for a day or two. He is really little for a boy. and #2 is much harder to learn. Be sure he is not at all constipated - lots of fruit - pain of having a bowl movement makes them really push back.

Brittney - posted on 08/06/2012

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try every 30 minutes and he is old enough to stand to pee, my mom used cheerios and made a game out of hitting them. The first few days are mostly accidents. My daughter knew what her potty was for but didn't recognize when she had to use it. After going on it repeatedly and having lots of accidents it finally clicked in 3 days. She has been potty trained for almost 10 months, it will be 10 months when she turns 2.



Edit-

I used bare bum and cloth trainers

Ellie - posted on 08/06/2012

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Thank you Christine. How long did it work for your boys using the potty successfully? And have you tried the bare-bottom method or just a underpants for them?

I was trying to teach my son to use the adult potty as well (and using the foot stool), but he just won't do either # 1 or 2 in there.

Christine - posted on 08/06/2012

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I have never used a potty chair, i always used a step stool so they could use the real thing, but what I did, i put cheerios in the toilet and it became a game of sinking the cereal. I have two boys, they are 18 and 15 now, but it always worked for me. As far as number two, I honestly do not remember how that went...lol, I hope that helps

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