Potty training an uninterested boy

Jade - posted on 07/25/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Ok, I am at my wits end. My daughter nearly self potty trained at 20 months. She could not stand to ne wet or dirty. My son is now nearly three. He is not interested in potty training at all. He would sit in a dirty diaper all day if we let him. I have tried treats, I have tried time outs, I have even made up songs. PLEASE any help you can give would be appreciated.

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My son was the same way. So after making sure that he was old enough to be physically able to be potty trained we started a new rule. If he wasn't "old enough" to be potty trained he wasn't "old enough" to do big boy things. For instance...go to McDonalds or to the park or go to a play date with older kids. I stopped carrying the diaper bag, and we would pull up somewhere, but before we got out of the car, or went in, I would check his diaper. If he was wet or dirty...back home we went. All of this was of course with proper encouragement and opportunity to use the bathroom. It was disruptive for a few days, but I too was at my wits end. And it truely only took a few days and a few missed opportunities to participate in something, and he finally got the point. It was tough, you have to absolutely stick to your guns, but it worked, and quickly. Good luck!

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Belinda - posted on 07/25/2009

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My son is 3 1/2 and he just did it in his own time. We tried sticker charts, reward puzzles, going to the shops and letting him buy his big boy undies ect just after his thrid birthday, but it made no difference. He just wouldn't go.



A few motnhs ago he and my husband were playing around with his big boy undies and daddy put them on his head. Nana asked if he wanted to ear them and he said yes. He hasn't looked back. We accidents initially, and still have now and again, but hey. He is still not quiet night dry, but I am sure he will get there.



I guess what I am saying is they will do it when they are ready, not when we want them to be. Girls are generally eaiser as the neuro pathways from the bladder to the brain are a lot stronger then boys, so it getting them to recongise this.



Oh one thing that worked well was aking him if his tummy felt full, and if it was full to go to the toilet. this helped him to recognise the need to go.



Hope that helps

Mary - posted on 07/25/2009

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I know this is hard to believe, but until they are ready, it won't happen. It was a topic of conversation since the beginning. When my son was 3 he started to ask about changing his diaper. I would make it take as long as possible and tell him that going on the potty was so much easier. If he got ouchies from a diaper I told him that he wouldn't have them if he went on the potty. At 3 1/2 when he was in underwear around home and would ask for a diaper (so he could go) I told him no, he needed to use the potty. One day after he hadn't gone for a few hours, I took the opportunity to go with him in the bathroom ( I blocked the door by sitting in front of it) and we played in the sink, drank lots of water. He got a little mad when I wouldn't let him out to get a diaper, so when he started to go I aimed it for the toilet and he was amazed how easy it was. Immediately went to Pullups. For the first week, we yelled "READY AIM FIRE" every time we went. He had to go 3 times to get a special ice cream trip to Dairy Queen (I had a sticker chart on his wall) 5 more times to get a train, and by then he was going by himself. Underwear at home and pullups away from home for about a month. Stinkies were harder, but he would hide when he had to go. I would watch him closely and follow him and told him that hiding in the bathroom was more fun. He had always talked about a trophy and I printed him a picture of the $30 trophy he would get for going 3 times in a row stinkies. He got his trophy about 1 month later. Then it was strictly underwear. I cleaned a fair share of messes, but he is potty trained. Total time about 5 months. He is still wet sometimes overnight, but he is in underwear all the time. Every success was big deal (the potty happy dance was done, grandparents called) and true accidents weren't punished. The accidents caused by laziness or stubborness were talked about. He did his share of rinsing out undies in the toilet (which he found disgusting as much as I did).

[deleted account]

I feel for you. My son was exactly the same way. He could care less if his underpants were soiled and wet. He was nearly in kindergarten when he fully became trained. The Cheerio aim worked when he felt like it, using stickers and rewards and lots of praise did work when he was finally ready. lol Patience, encouragement and praise are your best bet. He'll get it eventually. Peer pressure may help a little too, "if sister can do it then maybe I can too". Good luck.

Tina - posted on 07/25/2009

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When he's ready, it will happen. Try putting some hand toys or special gifts in the bathroom and when he sits on the pot, let him play with them or open one. I raised twins and when my son was ready, it was a done deal! But not a second before that. I wish I hadn't stressed so much about it. I compared my kids to everyone elses and now that they are almost 20 years old, I know they were unique and I should have treasured every moment more than I did! Time flies! Don't stress! It will happen.

Ginger - posted on 07/25/2009

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My son showed no interest. One thing I did learn though was punishment made it worse and he would rebel then and that pullups are a waste of money. However, we did take him out of diapers at about 3 and 2 months and then just watched closely and ran him to the bathroom. At about 3 and 3 months it clicked and he just started going on his own. It took a little longer at night.

Suzanne - posted on 07/25/2009

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Skip the pull-ups as they just absorb the wetness. We got the thicker training underpants in the infant section and the plastics that can go over to help contain messes. Our pediatrician reccomended this as well. Otherwise I would just put him on the toilet every 30-60 minutes and then when accidents decreased, I let more time go between potty breaks and ALWAYS always, always encouraged him to tell me when he had to go. His biggest problem was pooping in the toilet. So I created this sticker chart and once he was accident free for 3 days we went to the dollar tree for his own special prize, then once 7 days, then 14 days he got a bigger prize. He understood that it was special and ended there after explaining it to him and he has been completely trained since he was two. Good Luck

Liz - posted on 07/25/2009

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my son was 3 this past June, and I had tried just about everything. He is very stubborn. I just kept talking to him about it. I let him be naked in the house for a couple of hours at a time and he realized he had no diaper to pee in and started running for the potty. Once I thought he was understanding feeling I would praise him and give him an M&M. I never pressured him. Just last week, it was like it started to come together for him and he just started going all the time. Still no poop though we are working on that....

Crystal - posted on 07/25/2009

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I have three girls and what i did with them is take them shopping for new underwears and let them pick them out. I would tell them we have to wear those new cuz we are a big girl now. I would never push the potty training on them and i would not get mad if they wet them self. It only makes them not want to go or makes them scared. After a week or mth they will hat the feeling of being wet or dirted. I did that only cuz they new if they have a pull-up on that it was ok to pee or poo in it. I also work at a day care and tell the mom's and dad's to do that. Just make sure that u take them every 30 mins and dont get upset it takes some time.

Angela - posted on 07/25/2009

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my son is 4 years old and is the same way.......I have 3 different potties, and he will not use any of them, he stands to pee......he is still not fully trained......but, we finally got him wearing "big boy underwear", but he still refuses to poop in the potty. He wears underwear at night and during the day at all times without any pee accidents, but he tells me he needs a diaper when he has to poop. I know it's crazy, but when we were trying really hard, he held his poop for 4 days and got soooooo constipated, that he would just cry because he had to go, but couldn't, it was AWFUL, and I felt like I had done this to him over such a stupid thing like potty training. The pediatrician told me that a child can hold their bowel movements indefinitely, which can lead to a major issue that may require surgery, so keep that in mind. Just have patience, it will happen!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!

Shaina - posted on 07/25/2009

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Have you tried putting cheerios in the toilet and telling him to aim for them? My nephew learned that way and he loved doing it. Then they would give him a treat for going in the potty. Lots of positive reinforcment.

Victoria - posted on 07/25/2009

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I think if u try big boy underwear it should at least help him pay attention to his urges to use the bathroom. I would even bribe with TV shows that he usually get to watch. Tantrums may happen, but usually if they have an accident, its a once time deal.... at least it was for this kid I babysat for. I dont think pullups help in the long run b/c its esentially a diaper. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Jessie - posted on 07/25/2009

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I gave my son a potty chart with stickers of his choice, when he went pee he got a small piece of candy ( m&ms ) and when he went #2 we would go to the dollar store and he got pick out a toy. it only took maybe 3 trips to the dollar store for him to see how much nicer it was without a diaper

Mandee - posted on 07/25/2009

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We used elmo potty time stickers! And m'ms! You can get the elmo potty training book with the stickers in it at the dollar store! They really helped us out!

Rebecca - posted on 07/25/2009

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My son was difficult as well and it is hard, but sometimes the more you push the worse it gets. If everything is ok medically, he will "get it" eventually. My husband and I used to fight constantly over it----He felt our son should be trained, but I was more relaxed. Once he started pre-school and saw the other boys doing it, he wanted to as well. My friend Em trained her son by putting a few Cheerios in the toilet and let him "shoot" them... Just try to be patient and not too pushy.... avoid bribes and punishment and let him take control of this one issue, sometimes they just have to be ready. Good luck.

Jodi - posted on 07/25/2009

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And ping pong balls. Apparently they are great. But being a single mum when I was training my son, I didn't know this, it was only when I was helping train my step son that I found that one out. When the boys pee on them, they bob up and down in the toilet, but they don't flush.

Cecilia - posted on 07/25/2009

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Hi Jade, my little sister trained her son using cheerios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it sounds crazy, but she would take a small ( small being the key word!) handful & throw them in the toilet and make a game out of it, and in the process he learned how to aim, lord knows how much thst helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give it a try, let me know if it helps

Jodi - posted on 07/25/2009

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My son was exactly the same. He didn't train until he was nearly in pre-school, he was impossible. What we did was told him he couldn't go to pre-school with his friends unless no more nappies. He trained in 2 weeks, nightime dry and all!!



With my daughter, I just told her we're not buying any more nappies. She could either wear underwear and wet herself or choose to go to the potty. While she did have her occasional accidents, she knew there were no nappies in the house, so she did use the potty!! She hated wetting her underpants :)



Every child is different, but find their currency :) I found with both of them it was about asserting control for themselves - "I will use the potty when I am good and ready, not when you tell me". But there comes a point at which you need to take a stand, LOL. But if you do, don't give in. Whatever you decide to do, don't give in on it because it is too hard. I was fully prepared to put up with my daughter peeing all over the place when I put my foot down. I just made sure I did it at a time I knew I could manage it without getting flustered, and I knew I didn't have too many commitments outside the home.

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