Potty Training Nightmare, Could it be something else?

User - posted on 01/17/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My son is 2 months away from being 4 years old, we have been potty training for almost 2 years it started because he for the first time lifted a leg over the toilet and peed I was excited that he seemed ready so early. I started by encouragement, and praise, then incorperated incintives for completeing the task at hand USING THE POTTY. After struggling with it for about 12 weeks and becoming frustrated because it just seemed like he wasnt getting it, I decided to stop and wait a little bit longer to insure he was in fact READY. Now I think that was a mistake and I shouldve stuck to my guns then but not wanting to be to hard on him I took advice of others at the time and gave him some space. We did pull ups we tried cold turkey (still doing this and tired of cleaning up) I figure the pullup give him the freedom of wearing his toilet so bye bye it went. Some days we have little to no pee accidents, some days its one after another. I know he knows how to use the toilet for peeing but in two years he has pooped once, and it was when he had the runs and it was lucky I got him onto the toilet in time. As an infant he had issues with constipation his dr at the time said likey an anal gland wasnt developed fully and he needed "stimulation" to help him to go poop. He said this would resolve itself in about a years time and not to worry about it, just keep "takin the tempature" After about 8 months he started going on his own without stimulation. I wondered if this infant issue maybe a factor to him not pooping today (most kids squat or hide when pooping, my child literally runs back and forth to stimulate himself so getting him to sit is a big problem.) Dr now says make sure his diet is high in fiber, lots of green veggies he'll grow out of this etc etc. IM EXAUSTED. I have literally tried everything I can think of but to no avail. Dr thinks we need behavioral evaulation, but I know my child, and I dont believe he is ADHD (my nephew DOES have it and there are very distinct differences in thier behavior) Anyone out there having or had same issues, what was the solution?

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Christy - posted on 01/17/2012

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Don't feel bad at all. Although we are the minority in terms of our kids' age and potty training, we are not alone. Some people claim that their 12-18 month old child is "fully trained" when they are not. I quit worrying what other ppl thought and just did what was right for us.



BTW the cereal thing wasn't suggested so much for aim, but just for a "fun" thing for your son. :)



Keep him in underwear during the day, take extra clothes and underwear when you go places (i had to do all this). I promise he will get the hang of it. I found if I kept my son in pull ups he just peed in them all the time. With the underwear he eventually hated me changing him in a public restroom to dry clothes, or going home b/c he had an accident. And the Pre K did not help with potty training and he could have cared less that he was not trained around his peers, either!



My husband got irritated, too. He would call my son a "HOBO" meaning he just peed himself all day long and didn't care. LOL.



The best advice I got was being consistent, putting his butt on the potty or taking hm there to stand over it every 30 minutes or so in his underwear.



And you are not a bad mom, and SHOULD NOT EVER feel ashamed!!!!!!! It's not like he will e going to college in pull ups. :)

User - posted on 01/17/2012

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I suppose I am just seeking some sort of reassurance that I am not alone in this difficult situation, Along with tips tricks and other methods that may or may not work, that I have already tried, and things I havnt heard of...No one wants to feel like they are failing at anything especially when it comes to being a parent. I do my best everyday, but I dont think its ever going to be something Im satisfied with, I will always try to find new ways to be a better mother. Im just tired of feeling shamed that my nearly 4 year old refuses to use the potty and I feel like its my fault.

User - posted on 01/17/2012

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He doesnt have a problem aiming, he knows very well how to pee into the toilet, he just gets busy and flat out refuses to stop and go before its too late, I try very hard not to get upset with him tho I am sure he can tell I am getting frustrated. Sometimes he does things that he knows are unaccetable seemingly out of spite. Ive tired telling him insted of asking. And I'll give the evaulation more consideration in about a year if we still have difficulties.(I see many people struggle with Drs, proper diagnosis and much time spent trying to find "right" medication for problems that are not revelant and Im not reayd to go thru that just yet, I want him to communicate more clearly before we take that road) Its difficult because I feel as if I am trying everything I can, and not getting anywhere. And Also I am a SAHM he is an only child and tho hes socialized with friends and family he doesnt have the benefit of "school experience" with other children...Daddy tries to help out but gets more frustrated then I do.

Christy - posted on 01/17/2012

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My son was 4 before he potty trained, too. Same thing you are describing, however he did poo on the potty before peeing on it. This past Christmas when he was out of Pre K for 2 weeks, I put his underwear on during the day and let the accidents happen. By the end of the break he had it down. (BTW at THAT point he was 4 1/2)!!!!!



I found that giving him apple juice with his lunch made him poo. Usually still the same time each day, right after lunch. I watch him carefully when he is here about 30-45 minutes after drinking fluids and prompt him to go to the bathroom at times. Most of the time now he will "recognize" the feeling of having to go and will go on his own w/o prompting.



Also this sounds corny but it might work, put a cheerio or some other cereal in the toilet and encourage him to "aim" for it. It becomes somewhat like a game, LOL.



I would consider the behavioral evaluation just to rule anything else out. It probably isn't ADHD but maybe something else (although I doubt it).

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