Pre-School 'Friends' being mean

Heather - posted on 09/11/2009

Wow, I am surprised at the way the Daycare/Pre K is dealing with this. I worked at a day care back in the day(before my sons). These situations are always on the complicated side because of the way that parents teach or don't teach their children. It is standard for these places to refer to everyone as friends. What I don't understand, is the children that are calling names and being mean, are more than likely being this way to everyone or at least most of the other children, the teacher should know who these children are and make a point to stick near them as much as possible to curb these inappropriate behaviors, and if necessary put the child in some sort of time out.

I have gone through these issues. You are teaching your child right, it is never too young. I am a very strict mother and have high standards for my sons. I have had to have sit downs with the teachers and director of such programs about these kinds of things. I would say if it doesn't straighten up within a month, of you talking to the teacher and director, I would look for something else for my child.

Stephanie - posted on 09/10/2009

Wow I am a little surprised that the teacher would send her to time out! I worked in a day care with ages 4 and up.
I would definatly have a talk with the teacher and director, their program might not be the right fit for your daughter or the might need a tweak in the 'friend' definition themselves.
I think it a wonderful that you are teacher your daughter what a true friend is, she will have the confidence later in life to recognize when someone is treating her badly and be able to walk away from it.
If I had a similar situation in my room, I would try and have the children talk with me one on one to figure out what their behavior is not so nice. Then i would bring them together to come up with a solution together. That way it is their decision and it makes it easier for them to stick to it.
If that fails them parents and the director would get involved to see what else could be changed.
Best of luck to you, follow you gut and keep listening to your daughter. You are giving her great self-worth and power by listening and reacting to her words in a positive way.

Tanya - posted on 09/10/2009

Hi there, I also have a girl 3 years old 4 in November, she also has the issue of not very nice children,they snatch and have a bad attitude, I have told her to walk away from those children when they act that way to you cause we are not like that in our family....



I agree with all of your thoughts and believe you can never start to young to intall these good morals and behaviours into our children...I also have 2 older kids 9 and 12 and I have been told by there teachers all the way through school that they are lovely people and are great to teach....



so i believe that if you start your good moral that you obvoiusly have at this age you baby will grow up to be a lovely person whom people like me would love my kids to be friends with....



also explain to your childs teacher or director that you have spoken to her and that if she responds in the way she has again its because you have sopken about it and thats the way you would prefer her to react rather then get andry back at them....i wish you all the luck which i also need...:-)