pre teen

Tina - posted on 08/07/2009

As we should not have to buy their love. I see too many parents giving in to their kids just to shut them up and that is really sad, what are they really learning in life. As a parent we have to be the perfect role models. When we were growing up life was hard but these days it is even harder. We do a lot of talking to our kids and we are always asking questions, we also monitor who our kids are with. There is an old saying in my home....Show me your friends and I will show you your future.

Brandi - posted on 08/07/2009

Tina, Amen!!! My soon to be 16 had the nerves to ask me for her b-day if we both go get a tattoo? My respond when you get old enough to sign that waiver by yourself I will be happy to go get one with you. Then she tried to throw the "everyone else got one" My respond was I'm not everyone else parents. The diff from me being your parent and them is that I love you I care whats going on your life and I'm not fake trying to out do everyone else. I'm old school. I don't and will never "buy" your love.

Tina - posted on 08/07/2009

I know Brandi, when my kids say that and my reply usually is, well I am not their mother I am yours and you are my responsibility followed with I love you. Someday they will understand. I remember at dinner one night at the dining room table my oldest boy was so angry with me because I would not let him do something his friends were doing. I looked at him and said you will hate me now but when you are older you will thank me. My husband looked at me then him and said no your mother does not really mean that, I looked at my son and just responded yes I do. We are mothers first then friend.

Brandi - posted on 08/07/2009

I have a daughter who will soon be 16. Hate to say it but pre-teen is just the tip of the iceburg. It will get worst. I have raised all 3 of my girls open comunication, open door for comunication. When she got older the more she shut me out and thought I was just the dumbest person on earth. She fail to remember I was there once and not that long ago. I wish you luck!!! Have faith in God and a lot of prayers.
And don't you all love their favorite phrase "everyone else has it or is doing it"????

Kara - posted on 08/07/2009

I think preteens are worse than teens. When my daughter first started puberty she she let the hormones get the best of her. Now that we have talked about this part of life and she understands the ups and downs, I think she deals with it better.

Shona - posted on 08/07/2009

Sometimes. I have four girls 17,16, 14, 13 and all have a variety of personalities, plus I'm a PO for youth. Middle school age is an adjusting period and re-defining moment for them. Independence is starting to form but the common sense have not...lol. Plus the hormones are outrageous!

Carol - posted on 08/05/2009

So there is no magic pill. It's the mouthy and angst that gets me. I know this too shall pass but in the heat of the moment, it seems forever.

Regina - posted on 08/05/2009

Yes, I've raised four teens who are now young adults. 12 & 13 are the toughest as far as mood & attitude. Some of them even out after that, but other you will get some of in the teen years too!

Judi - posted on 08/05/2009

Well as a mom that has gone thru six preteens, then teens, then adults, I will say that each and every child is different. I have my 11 yr old now that is going thru puberty all ready, he is really mouthy and a pain in the behind, but he is not sure what is happening to him either. So we talk and talk and talk. I do bite my tounge a lot I am a yeller by nature, so it sucks for my kids. I think that there are wonderful books out there to help with what your child maybe feeling. The most important thing I have learned is that sometimes they are unsure and feel like they are alone in what they are going thru, keep those lines of communication open....and remember they do move out someday lol...just kidding....but talking and REALLY listening is the most important step.

Rose - posted on 08/05/2009

You are just getting started. Just try to keep talking to her and even if you think she is not listening, she is. It just might stick. Good Luck.

Tina - posted on 08/05/2009

I am sorry but I need to add one more thing, It takes a strong hand and a loving heart, they want to do things as if they are adults, they may resent us or even hate us at times but in the long run they will appreciate us as parents, believe me I have been threw much with mine but they are overall good kids and I intend to keep it that way.

Tina - posted on 08/05/2009

preteen or teen there is no difference. It all depends on the hormones. I have 4 kids, A lot of talking to makes the difference and biting your tongue. I am 40 yrs old with many grays....want to know where they came from.

Kourtney - posted on 08/05/2009

It feels like it to me too because my preteen wants to do things like she is a teen. I have to constantly remind her that she is not.

Tina - posted on 08/05/2009

Just depends what your going threw, I thing that as soon as they are hitting that age to where their hormones are raging any thing is possible. I have 2 teenagers and 2 preteen. Mother hood is never easy. I went threw a lot with my 2 oldest kids going threw preteen and it took a lot of talking to.