Pregnant Smokers

Whitney - posted on 05/18/2009

I was a smoker and I tried for several weeks to quit while I was pregnant. Then the morning sickness kicked in one morning (I had it for WEEKS but this morning was against cigarettes) and I put them down and didn't pick one up for the rest of my pregnancy. I smoke again. But not around my daughter. We don't smoke in the car with her in it, and we go outside to smoke at home. People that know us that smoke in their own homes, when we walk in they start going outside. It's quite nice knowing that others feel it's ok to not smoke around her.

~Jennifer - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Emily:

Quoting Cat:

stupid people shouldn't breed.

Quoting Cat (Breastfeeding Moms group):

hi. from memory with my first baby i had a few too many drinks once and tried to feed him. he ended up throwing up all over me

 

So it is stupid to smoke while pregnant, but not stupid to drink and breastfeed? 

 

Everyone in the world does things others think are stupid, but everyone makes mistakes, right? What gives you the right to decide who should breed?...I hope you are perfect.

...and the moral of the story is:

" Never use your halo as a drink coaster."

Tara - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Hannah:

Quoting Mary:

I am a smoker but when I found out I was pregnant I wanted to quit but it is a very hard thing to do....The doctor said it was best to cut down gradualy untill I could kick the habit all together and that is what I did......all though after the baby was born I was so stressed out and tired I started again.....I am once again working to kick the habit...hopefully for good this time.

Jodi mentioned coffee and pop....I don't see anything wrong with having a little.....I even asked my doctor about it because I do love my pepsi, lol....and he told me as long as I didn't over do it a little was fine so I had a glass of pop a day and the rest of the time I drank water or milk and my doctor was fine with that.

I agree with Jodi that it isn't our place to judge but I do think mothers should at least make an effort to cut back and try and quit.

 

They way I see it, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, junk food, etc. Can all be lopped into the same catergory.  These things make you feel good, but they are bad for you and they are bad for your baby.

They are also the same in that (some things more than others) One, or "just a little bit" leads to more. Its like, "Well I smoked and the baby is still kicking, the sky didnt fall in on me, so its ok."

I was a heavy smoker and drinker. I found out I was pregnant and I quit, cold turkey. It was really hard, yeah. I cried I wanted to smoke so bad. But I thought about a healthy baby and it was worth it.

Im not a pristine example for THE RIGHT THING TO DO. I craved Wendys Spicy chicken burgers. And indulged in pickles, lots and lots of pickles. I had some wine on my birthday.

But I disagree that we dont have a "place" to judge other mothers on things that they are posting on here for the world to see. ASKING for opinions, then getting them and being SO insulted.

We are all raising up the future of our world. Its a big deal.

I'm sorry but I just find this so funny. Putting coffee and junk food into the same category as cigarettes and alcohol is a little over the top. I mean with the way this is going pretty soon pregnant women are gonna be living on celery and water to keep their baby "healthy".

While pregnant I enjoyed a cup of coffee every morning with my husband and even a Mountain Dew on occasion. My daughter is absolutely beautiful and perfectly healthy.

Junk food and coffee might not be right for some but don't just throw it into this pile of things not to touch while your pregnant. There is no reason why we should be making TTC moms out there feel like they are some hardened crimal if they drink a cup of coffee every once in awhile. 

Back to the subject at hand... I do think it is unfair for the baby when a mother smokes during pregnancy but I do understand how hard it is to quit. I quit cold turkey the moment I found out I was pregnant but with all the stress a new baby brings after she was born I immediately started smoking again. I choose never to smoke in my house or car or anywhere my baby is because I feel it would be unfair of me to force my second hand smoke upon her when she can't escape from it.

Kimberly - posted on 05/18/2009

I also smoked before I was pregnant. I tried to quit smoking so many times before and never could, but from the moment I found out I was going to be a mother I never touch another cigerette, I guess I was lucky. During my pregnancy it was easy for me not to smoke. I sometimes have cravings but I know how hard it was to walk away from the addiction so for me, I know it's something I'll never do again.

Emily - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Emily:

Quoting Cat:

stupid people shouldn't breed.

Quoting Cat (Breastfeeding Moms group):

hi. from memory with my first baby i had a few too many drinks once and tried to feed him. he ended up throwing up all over me

 

So it is stupid to smoke while pregnant, but not stupid to drink and breastfeed? 

 

Everyone in the world does things others think are stupid, but everyone makes mistakes, right? What gives you the right to decide who should breed?...I hope you are perfect.

hahahahahaha! that is so amazing.

Emily - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Cat:

stupid people shouldn't breed.

Quoting Cat (Breastfeeding Moms group):

hi. from memory with my first baby i had a few too many drinks once and tried to feed him. he ended up throwing up all over me

So it is stupid to smoke while pregnant, but not stupid to drink and breastfeed? 

Everyone in the world does things others think are stupid, but everyone makes mistakes, right? What gives you the right to decide who should breed?...I hope you are perfect.

ALICIA - posted on 05/18/2009

WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT BACK IN 2006 I QUICK SMOKING, SINCE THAN I HAVE NEVER TOUCHED THOSE NASTY THINGS IN MY LIFE.

Mary - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Cat:

stupid people shouldn't breed.

Neither should judgemantal people. 

YES I agree pregnant women shouldn't smoke but some people find it easier than others.  I love my child and wanted what was best for him but found it VERY HARD that is why I talked to my doctor and he helped me along with the rest of my family and friends.  I wasn't able to do it over night but I was able to do it eventualy.  instead of being judgemental and rude people should HELP others understand what can happen and be supportive....I think that works much better than telling them they are stupid and so on.

Cat - posted on 05/18/2009

stupid people shouldn't breed.

Casey - posted on 05/18/2009

i smoked a pack a day for 8 years, and quit as soon as i found out i was pregnant. if i could do it, anybody can! camels were my comfort thing!

Mandy - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Jodi:

I love how a lot of moms are talking about and focusing on the health of the baby while it's developing in moms belly & I agree - you change your life around for your child while you are pregnant - every mom wants to give their baby the best start..... BUT what about afterwards...?

Mom has 2 smokes a day and doesn't have any stress about having to quit. Baby is born naturally - healthy, beautiful lil child.

She breast feeds, she feeds solid food at 6 months, she spend the first YEAR of her childs life PROTECTING them against EVERYTHING under the sun that MAY possibly lead to this and that and the other... and then... babe gets a move on... starts walkin.. starts eatin whatever... starts learnin attitudes, behaviours, etc from their parents and the people around them.....

How can some moms think that it's ok to have these attitudes and mind frames that are so NARROW and judgemental - every child deserves the best and I wouldn't let my child spend any time with anyone that sits there and has the mind frame to be judgemental instead of supportive. That attitude definitely isn't the best for my child.

On top of that - how bout the enviromental issues that are A LOT more dangerous than having 2 smokes a day while being pregnant - like for instance, the ground that kiddos play in... there's more toxins in the ground, and you're stupid if you think your kid isn't going to eat dirt, grass and bugs than there is in the air but the air has more toxins in it than 1-2 smokes a day that she had during pregnancy.

So unless you're going to have your child live in a freakin bubble you have no right to being rude, disrespectful, mean, and act just plain ridiculous to a pregnant lady having a smoke.

I think a lot of the information today is a bunch of balony - this study and that study - blah blah blah - YES there are some studies that actually discover things, YES there are a lot of researchers that do a lot of good work and help a lot of people. And at the same time - there's a whole bunch of people completely trivializing REAL diseases and REAL problems by making a bunch of people "who want the best" for their baby think that if they (as a silly example) feed their child apples from the day they turn 6 months until they are 5, they will have less to worry about at the doctor than if they were only to feed their child apples every 3rd day. But people who focus on something like smoking - need to get over it. People have doctors for a reason - they don't need "Dr. Stranger Mom" on the mission to learn the world of all that's bad.

And YES - That Is My Opinion.

The last thing I'm going to say to the moms who are trying to quit - talk to your doctor - know yourself and if anyone gives you a hard time about it - tell them to go focus on their own child, kiddo might have a smear on their bubble :P

This is the best thing I've read in a long time! People have there options but ultimitly they need to stop worrying about others and start focasing on themselves! Thank you for making my day with your reply!

Kerry - posted on 05/18/2009

i smoked whilst i was pregnant.i stopped for the 1st 3 months but was stupid and took it up again.i never smoked heavily.some days i would go without but other days i would have 5 maximum.everyone has their opinion on the subject.some people drink whilst there pregnant.i never had a sip of alcohol whilst pregnant.Ruby was born a healthy 7lbs 2oz at 41 weeks.

Liana - posted on 05/18/2009

just cus you don't smoke while pregnant doesnt gaurentee you a healthy child I have 3 kids I struggled to quit the first time and wound up smoking all the way through just less than I was before. It had nothing to do with not loving my child enough I love him dearly and always did but its an addiction. He was a healthy baby and is a very healthy child who almost never gets sick.



I had quit by the time I had my 2nd and he was and is a sickly child despite the fact I did everything right. I quit smoking and ate the right things.



I had recently started smoking again when I found myself pregnant with my 3rd I was 3 months pregnant when I quit and she's perfectly healthy and happy.



All 3 were big babies but the 2nd one was the smallest of the 3 at just 7lbs 6ozs.



We all know it's best to quit if you can but I think people have to remember it's an addiction and a habit and no one should be judged for stuggling.

Katrina - posted on 05/18/2009

yes im a smoker and no im not going to give it up i've had 6 kids and all of them where full term and all 7lb to 8lb and all very healthy and i think it up to the person there self if they wont to choose to give it up and sorry but i dont. and we should be more worred about all the other mothers that choose to have kids that are on more harmful drugs that can harm the kids alot more then smokes can but it's up to the person themself so no one should judge anyone but there self

Kate - posted on 05/18/2009

Well said Sarah, I had to go back and find your comment as i had only read a few posts on the topic...enough to get annoyed anyway ;)

Sarah - posted on 05/18/2009

Quoting Kate:

What an insensitive topic!! There is no black and white and who are we to be the judge of anyone.
The only point to this topic has to be to make some think they're better and greater than others. For those who quit and did it by the book to think they're wonderful and for those who didnt to feel bad about themselves. And for those it still didnt work out for even though they did everything right, what do you say to them? That could so easily have been any of you and maybe it will be one day as punishment for all your airs and graces..don't tempt fate ladies and get over yourselves! I thought this group was intended to help and support each other as mothers, not to blow our own trumpets and put others down. We all know the rights and wrongs of smoking so why not post something useful...something helpful and constructive...some worthy advice or something?

my feelings exactly Kate!!!! as i said in my earlier post, this site shouldn't be about 'whose the best mum' it should be a supportive site, to help mum's not criticize them!! just because we're mum's doesn't make us perfect and any mum out that there that thinks they are perfect are sadly mistaken!!

Kate - posted on 05/18/2009

What an insensitive topic!! There is no black and white and who are we to be the judge of anyone.

The only point to this topic has to be to make some think they're better and greater than others. For those who quit and did it by the book to think they're wonderful and for those who didnt to feel bad about themselves. And for those it still didnt work out for even though they did everything right, what do you say to them? That could so easily have been any of you and maybe it will be one day as punishment for all your airs and graces..don't tempt fate ladies and get over yourselves! I thought this group was intended to help and support each other as mothers, not to blow our own trumpets and put others down. We all know the rights and wrongs of smoking so why not post something useful...something helpful and constructive...some worthy advice or something?

Jennie - posted on 05/18/2009

i dont agree with it either i gave up smoking when i fell pregnant with my daughter yes was hard but i had the will power to do it as its a proven fact that it does harm the baby! my children hardly gets colds compared to their cousins which their mother smoked at least 20 a day they get colds alot. i dont smoke now and i make every body that i know that smokes including my partner that they are not allowed to smoke near my children i want them to have the beat possible health they can have. i think its disguesting when people smoke in the car when their poor children are sat in the back and NO its doesnt make a differance if the window is open as the smoke still goes in the back!!!

Mel - posted on 05/17/2009

this is to Barbara, thanks for the info but i dont believe that formula is dangerous because if it wasnt for formula my daughter wouldnt be here today if she was she would be nothing but skin and bones, she is still in a weight range that is considered dangerous but thanks to formula she actually looks healthy and no too bad for her age. so ill never believe formula is anything but good and i will be formula feeding all mine to avoid problems in the future. x

Emily - posted on 05/17/2009

One more thing...for those of you out there who think it causes underweight babies...I was 11lbs 2ozs, my sisters...11lbs 4ozs & 9lbs 14ozs. Also, the others that I noted above were ALL healthy weights also.

Laura - posted on 05/17/2009

I agree with you, I do not understand it either. I was a smoker when I found out that I was pregnant with my 1st child, and I stopped immediately.

Emily - posted on 05/17/2009

Ok, we all know now that smoking is bad, there was a time when we didn't. My grandma gave birth to 6 healthy babies, not one of them had a single health issue nor do they now from it. I am not saying it was a good thing to do, what I am saying is that not everyone has had something horrible happen to them b/c their mom smoked while pregnant. My mom, her sisters & brothers, are in their 50s, 60s, and 70s (none with asthma or any developmental issues). My mom smoked through 3 pregnancies...same outcome, my husband's mom smoked through 4...same thing. I also have a great deal of friends who were born to smoking mothers & none of them have problems either. All I am trying to say is that there are generations of us over the years that were born to smoking moms, who grew up in homes where everyone smoked in the home and no one thought a thing of it back then. It just seems like now everyone is convinced that smoking while pregnant is ABSOLUTELY going to harm or kill your baby. I personally have never met anyone who was born to a smoking mother that has problems from it...and I know a ton of them. Once again I am NIOT in any way saying it is a good thing to do, all I am saying is that people used to do it ALL the time and if the odds were sooo bad then we should have way people in the world w/the problems everyone says it causes.

Lynne - posted on 05/17/2009

As an ex-smoker, I can only say that it seems to be either an educational issue or selfish issue. A woman who continues to smoke knowing that she is carrying a child is either uneducated about the associated risks or really, just doesn't care enough about herself or her unborn child to stop. I don't understand it either.



and the whole...oh my mom smoked during her pregnancy, and we're all fine. let's look at the long term effects that smoking during pregnancy can cause, such as respiratory issues like asthma, and allergies to start. it's all just a cop-out so they won't feel guilty that something they chose to do during the development of their child actually caused their baby some harm. all for the habit that they have chosen.

Tracy - posted on 05/17/2009

I have always believed that becoming a mum is such a special gift and that our bodies are sacred temples, while we are pregnant and breastfeeding. We all have bad habits but its important we do our best not to impact on our babies in such a vital time. I would never put drinking alcohol, smoking, drug taking in the same caterogory as formula feed babies. Formula does not contain toxic chemicals like cigrettes, if it did it would be banned. Yes, its not as good as breast milk but its the next best thing. A baby would be much better of on formula if the mother is heavy smoker, drug taker or a heavy drinker. All these chemicals go straight to baby. I come from a family full of smokers but back then they where not aware of all the risks involved like today. I hated being exposed to cigrettes all my life and I think this is why I hate cigrettes soo much. I hated when dad would drive around smoking in the car. My brother almost died as a baby from asthma. I believed it was made worse by his father and mother smoking in confined places all the time when he was around. Despite the attacks and doctors warnings they still smoked around him. Poor bubba had no choice in the matter. I was very strict with myself while I was pregnant as I wanted my baby to have the best possible chance. What helped me was changing my attitude about my body. I felt like it was nolonger mine and this made it easy to resist all those bad habits.

Rayna - posted on 05/17/2009

Because they're selfish. Putting their needs/wants before their unborn babies' needs. Nice, huh?

Casey - posted on 05/17/2009

Hey, glad to know that you are trying to quit smoking. I did it cold-turkey & find that to be the most effective way for me. I don't know how helpful is my advice, but I just keep thinking of my baby being trapped in an enclosed space filled with cigarette smoke & all choked up and that's what keeps me from lighting up during pregnancy. But I do end up snacking quite a lot due to the inability to smoke... so maybe you will like to stocked up on your favourtie snacks... Good luck!!!

Casey - posted on 05/17/2009

Quoting Shoshonna:

I used to smoke Marboro Reds. Then I found out i was pregnant. I went to marboro lights and cut down my intake by a pack and a half (I was smoking close to 2 packs a day). By the time my baby was born I was smoking only about 1-2 a day.
He is healthy and hale no asthma or other problems.

Now im pregnant again and im on Lights again. same thing... close to smoking a pack and a half a day. now im down to half a pack a day. and still going lower.

I was told by 2 out of 3 doctors to cut back gradually and to go to a lighter brand. I dont like that im still smoking, but i get so stressed out at work that I was told just to cut down slowly and then quit when i get to about 3 smokes. Im getting there but not quit there yet.

I'd like some advice on how i can handle this, if you have any.

V/R
Shonna

Casey - posted on 05/17/2009

I'm a smoker when I found out that I'm pregnant, then I quit cold-turkey straight away. Thank God that I'm lucky enough to be able to do this quite easily as I develop a severe dislike of cigarette smoke during my first pregnancy. But I continue smoking when my daughter was borned. But for my second pregnancy, it's much harder to keep away from cigarettes as I still craved for it, unlike in my first pregnancy. But I did it and again continue to smoke when my second daughter was borned. It's not easy but I think if you can concentrate on the reasons you are quitting smoking for (i.e. your precious baby inside you), maybe you will have the motivation to do it. My youngest child is 3 years old now, and I have totally quit smoking around 6 months ago because I want to be around for them for as long as possible.... Cheers to all mothers who's trying to quit smoking... it's not easy, but it can be done..... have trust in yourself...

Dianna - posted on 05/17/2009

no one is rubbing it in anyone's faces sweetie again these are moms OPINIONS on smoking were not asking for negative feedback on our OPINIONS, smoking is bad I personally do not think its a good idea my mom smoked with all three of us kids and my brother was born very tiny his body was no bigger than a dollar bill and he was in ICU for 3 months he almost died we say these things to try and make a valid point not to rub it in or hurt anyone and i never said DONT SMOKE..... now did I? its a moms choice you choose to smoke???? more power to you i personally would NEVER do anything to put my unborn baby in any danger.

Gemma - posted on 05/17/2009

ii think some of you ppl are so stuck up about smoking yes it bad for you when your pregnant but dont rub it in in ppls faces jeeezz!!!

Dianna - posted on 05/17/2009

I think this is something obviously the mom chooses to do, I have a girlfriend who refuses to quit smoking she has smoked her whole pregnancy and yet she thinks its OK because her doctor said it was fine too... but she wont eat certain things and when she has a serious headache she wont take Tylenol because shes afraid her baby will be born underweight...... HMMM a little extreme or what?

Barbara - posted on 05/17/2009

Quoting Melissa:

oh and i saw other posts about comparing smoking in pregnancy and formula feeding, and it is not even close to the same, smoking can be dangerous to babies health, formula feeding is not, infact it helps babies to meet their developmental milestones quicker and helps little babies to gain weight, so these two things are not the same at all

As I stated before, I don't believe that any of us can stand in judgement of another mother without knowing her personal situation.  I choose to operate under the assumption that women who feed formula (or smoke) have made the right decision for themselves and their families.  That being said,  there are risks involved with formula feeding, and like the risks involved with smoking they are potentially deadly risks.  If you want to check my source, this is the site.

http://www.naturalfamilyonline.com/artic...

Calculating Formula’s Final Impact

Infant Mortality Rates (IMR) are the number of infant deaths per 1,000 live births, from 0 to 12 months of age.

Mel - posted on 05/17/2009

oh and i saw other posts about comparing smoking in pregnancy and formula feeding, and it is not even close to the same, smoking can be dangerous to babies health, formula feeding is not, infact it helps babies to meet their developmental milestones quicker and helps little babies to gain weight, so these two things are not the same at all

Mel - posted on 05/17/2009

Quoting amanda:

have you smoked? its not as easy as you think to quit especially with two toddlers at home and another on the way. did you know that quitting smoking increases the risks of miscarriage with in the first trimester... after 5 miscarriages due to quitting i just kept smoking. oh and by the way....i do drink coffee too.... but my dr says its okay to have up to 5 cups of caffine per day, so if u can drink soda then i can have my coffee. i dont do anything else to hurt my baby. let me be!

interesting post Amanda. I have heard how much stress it puts on the baby to just up and quit smoking, i am only a social smoker so have never been addicted, i did smoke before i knew i was pregnant but only when i was drinking heavily. even had shots before i knew and my bub was just fine. it is fine to have caffeine just in moderation, as you have said, although some on here will make out like coffee is so terrible. chocolate is bad if you have too much as well but i had that in pregnancy and so do quit alot of people. honestly as long as you do not drink large amounts of alcohol during pregnancy, you do not have a high risk of having a disabled baby. even when you are smoking, although  i would not do it personally i also cant say i know what it feels like to be addicted or if i would continue smokign in pregnancy if i was addcited, and i am not about to judge others for doing so because that is wrong

Jinglebones - posted on 05/17/2009

I do not smoke and have never smoked but I have a lot of compassion for smokers - it is a tough tough addiction that has people hooked on many levels - physiologically, psychologically, behaviourally and socially. It may sound like a no-brainer to those of us looking at it from the outside, but it is not as easy as simply stopping. I would like to point out though, that there are more risks to baby than simply low birth weight - children of smokers are at much higher risk for SIDS than other babies, so if you are considering letting your baby tummy sleep, I would err on the side of caution and stick with the back to sleep program; also, babys lungs have been exposed to second hand smoke in utero and may be at risk for a number of things, particularly Reactive Airway Syndrome and possibly asthma. I know this is a loaded subject so I think the best way for those folks who have not been able to stop smoking while pregnant is to ensure they are well informed about all possible side effects to their baby - even if you have a seemingly healthy weight baby, there may be things you should be aware of that you cannot see.

Chloe - posted on 05/17/2009

i am a smoker and i understand how hard it is to give up. smoking is an addiction and just becuse your pregnant it doesnt make it any easier to give up, everyone knows how bad it is for you and your baby but its a physical addiction which is very hard to break. i cut down by half when i found out i was pregnant last year but did not fully give up until i was 7 months pregnant, however it has had no effect on my baby at all he was a healthy 8 lb 9 when he was born ,not underweight which people say is what happens when you smoke and your pregnant.

Lynsey - posted on 05/17/2009

look we all know its bad to smoke and i gave up for the first time in my smoking life as soon as i knew i was pregnant. Then my ex left me and i just went nuts i was suicidal not because he left but because i was so petrified of being a single mum, that might sound ridiculous to other people but it wasn't at the time, i begged my doctor for an abortion i was that petrified, that might sound harsh or whatever but no-one walks in my shoes do they except me.. anyway as i was saying my friend came over to me one night and said for gods sake have a fag i just gave in i wasn't coping too good so i did, did i hate doing it yes, did i feel guilt, yes, do i hate seeing women smoke during pregnancy yes, i totally agree with all your saying to a certain degree, but people critise others (and i know i can be like that also we are all human so im not having a dig at no-one in particular ok) please please remember to think we cant all be perfect (and again no dig here) we are human beings with our own lives. And if you come from america or china or india maybe you want to go to your polling stations next time and vote for the greenest party you can because its them countries who are the worse for pollution which in balance is ruining all our childrens lives, have you ever walked along the street with your child and a lorry comes past with all the fumes we are not living in a clean air environment. But i do not and will never agree with smoking in pregnancy if i could of felt better during (my) pregnancy i certainly would not of done. And again i hope i have not offended any1 it was not my intention you asked for peoples views.......

Danielle - posted on 05/17/2009

i would never advise any woman to smoke while pregnant, however it is your own choice, i am now 24, i was 18 when i feel pregnant with my 1st and had already been smoking for 5yrs. to list the main problems the drs tell u will happen when u smoke is; low birth weight : my kids were 9pd14oz, 8pd8oz and 10pd3oz!, premature birth, my kids were all born on there due date except my youngest who was 5 days late, complications during pregnancy and birth, i had perfect pregnancies and completely natural births, and serious illness in the 1st year of babies life, all my kids are perfectly healthy.

this does not mean i am advocating smoking in pregnancy, but it did not affect my children or me and i do not think women should be pressurised into more stress during pregnancy when we have enough to deal with, maybe concentration should be made on women who binge drink or take illegal drugs whilst pregnant!?!

Bobbie - posted on 05/16/2009

Quoting Julia:

I dont understand it either but its a habit that some people just cant break. I never smoked or let people smoke around me when I was pregnant and I still dont and dont allow it to be around my little boy. I stopped drinking soda and everything when I was pregnant.
Also, people should not be put down because of actions that they chose to do. Its their choice. I know people who have smoked while pregnant and smoked more then cigarettes (no I dont think its right) but their kids are perfectly healthy.

It all comes down to this: Yes, there are people who do things they shouldn't do which put their children at risk. I think everyone can agree on that. But, there are also people who do everything right and do everything they are supposed to do, and have children with problems. The fact of the matter is that anything can wrong at any time. People need to mind their own business and stop being so judgemental of others because they do not know the situation. I'm not saying you in particular, I actually agree with everything you are saying.

Rjeyna - posted on 05/16/2009

Well the topic is smoking while pregnant, and that is selfish. I don't need a reality check, I think perhaps you do.

Joy - posted on 05/16/2009

Quoting Esther:

Further to my post, Joy - I read your post on how you struggle to quit. And that's a post I get. You are not trying to minimize the possibly harmful effects of your smoking on your baby, but are saying it was just more powerful than you. I get that. I see that with my husband. Even though he smokes far less than my parents used to, those cigarettes have a FAR more powerful grip on him than they ever did on my parents. Whenever he tries to stop he turns into a completely different person from the one I know & love. I really truly get that. But it ticks me off when people try to make light of it by comparing it to nail polish or start questioning or minimizing the possible harmful repercussions of their addiction on their children by saying "such and so smoked" and their kids are now nobel price winners.

My aunt & uncle are in their 80's and raised me from the time I was 10.  They used to smoke for many years but they quit about 25 years ago, each cold turkey, and neither had much of a problem with it.  My aunt sees me struggle to quit and she said something to me about a month ago that actually made sense.  She thinks (and I'm sure she's right) that there are many more chemicals in cigarettes today than when she used to smoke.  For example, a Marlboro Red today is a completely different monster than it was in 1980.  She thinks that the chemicals they have in them today are what makes them harder to quit.  I don't know the exact chemical makeup of a cigarette so I'm not trying to pass what she said as fact, but I also don't trust the tobacco companies for one second and I wouldn't doubt that they would add another sinister toxin to a cigarette to keep people hooked. 

Good luck to your husband.  One thing I know and can relate to is what you said about him being a completely different person when he tries to quit.  That part doesn't last long though, and I think the key is finding something healthy to substitute the cigarette with....exercise is what I'm doing this time (along with the patch).  We're buying bicycles and once we start feeling better, we'll also start looking better (getting in better shape) and I think that may help.  Last time I substituted the smokes with carrotts and ended up with orange fingers lol  The time before that I drank water every time I wanted a smoke and I ended up losing weight.  Either way, thanks for the understanding and I'll keep my fingers crossed for me, my husband, your husband and all the others who are trying to quit.  It's a battle I intend to win one way or another and I don't care how many tries it takes. 

Amanda - posted on 05/16/2009

have you smoked? its not as easy as you think to quit especially with two toddlers at home and another on the way. did you know that quitting smoking increases the risks of miscarriage with in the first trimester... after 5 miscarriages due to quitting i just kept smoking. oh and by the way....i do drink coffee too.... but my dr says its okay to have up to 5 cups of caffine per day, so if u can drink soda then i can have my coffee. i dont do anything else to hurt my baby. let me be!

Esther - posted on 05/16/2009

Further to my post, Joy - I read your post on how you struggle to quit. And that's a post I get. You are not trying to minimize the possibly harmful effects of your smoking on your baby, but are saying it was just more powerful than you. I get that. I see that with my husband. Even though he smokes far less than my parents used to, those cigarettes have a FAR more powerful grip on him than they ever did on my parents. Whenever he tries to stop he turns into a completely different person from the one I know & love. I really truly get that. But it ticks me off when people try to make light of it by comparing it to nail polish or start questioning or minimizing the possible harmful repercussions of their addiction on their children by saying "such and so smoked" and their kids are now nobel price winners.

Kim - posted on 05/16/2009

I can not understand it. I actually smoked for 7 years prior to my first child I now have 4 kids. I quit with each pregnanycy. I did always go back to smoking after I gave birth except this last time. I have not still and can not stand it either. My last is 17 months so im going strong.

Esther - posted on 05/16/2009

Quoting Heather:

I was also told that cutting back was a better approach while pregnant, because the stresses that Mom feels, baby also feels. I smoked while pregnant with both my sons, who were 7 and 9 lbs at birth, and they are both healthy, smart and generally OK. By the time they were born, I had cut down to 2 or 3 smokes/day. And I also had 3 different obstetricians, and none of them were concerned with my smoking.
Now, no-one smokes in the house, no-one smokes in the car. I think it's law now, but we never have anyway.
Someone mentioned that they had 3 kids, and the only one she didn't smoke with was a straight A student in school? My Mom smoked with me, my brother, and my sister. I was the only one to turned out in the gifted program and skipping grades. So I think you're reading a little too deep into that. If smoking during pregnancy was The Only Thing that EVER caused learning disabilities, that would be some solid evidence. But it just isn't like that. There are many things that factor into the healthy development of babies and children.
I honestly think there are *risks*, there are risks for everything. Is anyone telling pregnant Moms to stop driving to work in rush-hour? Because all the exhaust from the other cars is hazardous as well. Is anyone else telling pregnant Moms to get rid of their cats? Because cleaning out the litter box releases ammonia fumes, and they are hazardous as well? Stop cleaning with bleach? Even nail-polish (and remover) fumes are dangerous.
If you are able to quit, congratulations. But we can't all do it. And since there are Moms out there right this minute cleaning cat litter boxes and breathing car exhaust while trying to get to work, don't panic. Unless you are living in a bubble, with pure oxygen being pumped into it, there are dangerous fumes EVERYWHERE.

Wow - you are really twisting yourself into a pretzel to try to justify smoking during pregnancy. I can't believe none of your doctors were concerned with your smoking. Maybe they didn't feel like getting into it with you, but any doctor who "has no problem" with a woman smoking while pregnant should have their license revoked.

On your comment re. the other mom reading too much into her kids learning disabilities - she may be, but I think you are reading WAAY to much into the fact that you were gifted despite your mother's smoking. Just because you & your mom got lucky, that doesn't mean that smoking cannot be very harmful. And that is definitely proven fact. Anecdotal "evidence" from moms who smoked (including my own) and had kids who were fine means nothing. It has been researched over and over and over and smoking increases the chances that your child will have health issues. Even if it only increases it by 1% (which it doesn't) why would you take that chance? On your comments re. the cat litter, the nail polish etc. - women ARE warned against those things and I DID avoid the nail salons and had I had a cat, I would have absolutely told my husband the cat litter was now his problem. You cannot avoid all dangerous fumes but you can sure as hell try to avoid those that can be avoided. Smoking being at the top of the list.

My husband is a smoker. So were my parents. My dad used to smoke 5 packs a day and my mom smoked about 3 packs. My parents were able to quit after about 40 years of smoking but my husband still hasn't managed to kick the habit. He is not allowed to smoke (and would never dream of smoking) anywhere near the house. He has to walk at least to the end of the street before he can light up. I don't want it blowing in the window, I don't want my son to ever be able to see it, and I still BADLY want him to quit altogether. And so does he. I really do appreciate how hard it is. I've seen my husband struggle with it many times and fail (he once quit for 2 years but after I had a miscarriage he started smoking again because of the stress around that). But don't blow smoke (pun intended) up your own ass or anyone elses to try to justify it.

Bobbie - posted on 05/16/2009

Quoting Sarah:

why do people keep starting threads like this??? it seems to me that it's just an excuse to cause controversy and get people all riled up! obviously it's wrong to smoke when you're pregnant, it's wrong to smoke at all, i'm a smoker and i know this, i'm not stupid! but i don't see the point in starting a thread to ask why people do it?? i mean isn't it obvious, it's an addictive drug and it's not always easy for people to quit no matter what the circumstances. i thought this site was about giving and receiving advice, not to start playing 'whose the best mum' or judging others for their way of life!

I totally agree with you. Instead of asking why, ask how? How can you help someone that is having a hard time WITHOUT being negative and judgemental. What did you do to quit? If you quit cold turkey with no problems, don't rub it in and make people feel bad. Give advice and support, not snobby, rude comments and criticism.

Julia - posted on 05/16/2009

Quoting Bobbie:

Ok, whoever said that smoking while pregnant is selfish needs a reality check. Yes, when you become a mother, your world revolves around your kids. You care for them 24/7, and then some. You stop doing everything for yourself and everything for them. So my question is, how can a mom care for her kids if she can't keep it together? If a woman chooses to smoke a couple times a day to relieve stress, then what's the problem? As long as it's not in the house or in the car, in direct contact of the kids, then who's place is it to tell her she is wrond? I'd rather see someone take a break and have a cigarette when they get stressed out than hit the kid or beat them to death because they are too stressed out! Mothers need to take care of themselves in order to take care of their children. There are a lot worse things a mom could do to relieve stress that are WAY more harmful, like drugs and alcohol.

AGREE 100%. They could be doing ALOT more then just cigarettes.

Bobbie - posted on 05/16/2009

Ok, whoever said that smoking while pregnant is selfish needs a reality check. Yes, when you become a mother, your world revolves around your kids. You care for them 24/7, and then some. You stop doing everything for yourself and everything for them. So my question is, how can a mom care for her kids if she can't keep it together? If a woman chooses to smoke a couple times a day to relieve stress, then what's the problem? As long as it's not in the house or in the car, in direct contact of the kids, then who's place is it to tell her she is wrond? I'd rather see someone take a break and have a cigarette when they get stressed out than hit the kid or beat them to death because they are too stressed out! Mothers need to take care of themselves in order to take care of their children. There are a lot worse things a mom could do to relieve stress that are WAY more harmful, like drugs and alcohol.

Julia - posted on 05/16/2009

I dont understand it either but its a habit that some people just cant break. I never smoked or let people smoke around me when I was pregnant and I still dont and dont allow it to be around my little boy. I stopped drinking soda and everything when I was pregnant.

Also, people should not be put down because of actions that they chose to do. Its their choice. I know people who have smoked while pregnant and smoked more then cigarettes (no I dont think its right) but their kids are perfectly healthy.

Bobbie - posted on 05/16/2009

I cut back as much as I could when I was pregnant with both my kids. I tried to quit, but I got very stressed out and my blood pressure started to skyrocket, so I would limit myself to 3 or 4 a day. My doctor told me to cut back until I could quit, but in reality trying to quit was more harmful than smoking.

I agree that it not ok to smoke while pregnant, but it is also not ok to judge someone if they do. I had a lady try to grab a cigarette out of my hand one time, and she's lucky I didn't knock her out! It's no ones business what I do or don't do, and no one knows exactly what someone's situation is, so instead of being al high and mighty and criticizing those who smoke, why don't people try to be helpful and talk to the people, give them ideas about other things they can try to relieve stress or break the habit. Just saying "I quit cold turkey and had no problems, so everyone that still smokes is a horrible mother" is very snobbish and rude.