Pregnant Smokers

?? - posted on 05/16/2009

I love how a lot of moms are talking about and focusing on the health of the baby while it's developing in moms belly & I agree - you change your life around for your child while you are pregnant - every mom wants to give their baby the best start..... BUT what about afterwards...?



Mom has 2 smokes a day and doesn't have any stress about having to quit. Baby is born naturally - healthy, beautiful lil child.



She breast feeds, she feeds solid food at 6 months, she spend the first YEAR of her childs life PROTECTING them against EVERYTHING under the sun that MAY possibly lead to this and that and the other... and then... babe gets a move on... starts walkin.. starts eatin whatever... starts learnin attitudes, behaviours, etc from their parents and the people around them.....



How can some moms think that it's ok to have these attitudes and mind frames that are so NARROW and judgemental - every child deserves the best and I wouldn't let my child spend any time with anyone that sits there and has the mind frame to be judgemental instead of supportive. That attitude definitely isn't the best for my child.



On top of that - how bout the enviromental issues that are A LOT more dangerous than having 2 smokes a day while being pregnant - like for instance, the ground that kiddos play in... there's more toxins in the ground, and you're stupid if you think your kid isn't going to eat dirt, grass and bugs than there is in the air but the air has more toxins in it than 1-2 smokes a day that she had during pregnancy.



So unless you're going to have your child live in a freakin bubble you have no right to being rude, disrespectful, mean, and act just plain ridiculous to a pregnant lady having a smoke.



I think a lot of the information today is a bunch of balony - this study and that study - blah blah blah - YES there are some studies that actually discover things, YES there are a lot of researchers that do a lot of good work and help a lot of people. And at the same time - there's a whole bunch of people completely trivializing REAL diseases and REAL problems by making a bunch of people "who want the best" for their baby think that if they (as a silly example) feed their child apples from the day they turn 6 months until they are 5, they will have less to worry about at the doctor than if they were only to feed their child apples every 3rd day. But people who focus on something like smoking - need to get over it. People have doctors for a reason - they don't need "Dr. Stranger Mom" on the mission to learn the world of all that's bad.



And YES - That Is My Opinion.



The last thing I'm going to say to the moms who are trying to quit - talk to your doctor - know yourself and if anyone gives you a hard time about it - tell them to go focus on their own child, kiddo might have a smear on their bubble :P

Shoshonna - posted on 05/16/2009

I used to smoke Marboro Reds. Then I found out i was pregnant. I went to marboro lights and cut down my intake by a pack and a half (I was smoking close to 2 packs a day). By the time my baby was born I was smoking only about 1-2 a day.
He is healthy and hale no asthma or other problems.

Now im pregnant again and im on Lights again. same thing... close to smoking a pack and a half a day. now im down to half a pack a day. and still going lower.

I was told by 2 out of 3 doctors to cut back gradually and to go to a lighter brand. I dont like that im still smoking, but i get so stressed out at work that I was told just to cut down slowly and then quit when i get to about 3 smokes. Im getting there but not quit there yet.

I'd like some advice on how i can handle this, if you have any.

V/R
Shonna

Natalie - posted on 05/16/2009

I smoked since I was 14 years old, and I tried to quit many many times, I finally managed it when I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant, I quit the night i found out and I haven't smoked since (13 months) it was really really tough for the first month and for months after I would think about smoking but I knew i had to stick with it, and I am sooooo glad I did, i feel great about not smoking now, don't miss it at all.

I would, recommend Alan Carr's "how to stop smoking" book to anyone who wants to quit, it's a very intresting read on how smoking grips you.

it's an ugly habit and I'm glad I quit, but I fully feel for people trying to ! it's a tough addiction.

Rjeyna - posted on 05/16/2009

Smoking during pregnancy is selfish. When you decide to have kids, all revolves around them, not you and your bad habbits!

Christi - posted on 05/16/2009

I am 19 weeks pregnant and a smoker and as mentioned by Jodi MOST moms DO NOT think is is ok but rather can't do it at the drop of a hat. I quit when pregnant with my other two pregnancies. However in August we lost our little boy when he was 3 months old and I got pregnant very unexpectedly in January and immediatly stopped taking all of the medication I was on as a result of developing PTSD after losing our son. Smoking however was the only thing that I had from that point to help with my nerves at all. Now don't get me wrong I'm not sittin around smoking a pack a day or even a half a pack while pregnant. Maybe 5 a day... and its when I am at whits end. You have to understand that while smoking is a hazard while pregnant it is alot more safe than any prescription drug you could take for your nerves or a pill to quit smoking while you are pregnant.

Hannah - posted on 05/16/2009

yes i do. i hate it when mum and dad smoke around there children as well.

if they want to smoke let them but don't put your children through it as well they have not chosen to smoke it you.

think about to want you are doing to your children health.

Samantha - posted on 05/16/2009

When I was pregnant I did smoke, but I knew I shouldn't be smoking because it was bad for my health and for my unborn child's health. I cut back to a cigarette a day, and when my daughter was born I quit at that moment and I have never had the need for a cigarette again.

Hanna - posted on 05/16/2009

I am a child of a smoking/drug addicted mother. I have come to the conclusion we as humans do what is not best, but what is MOST COMFORTABLE TO US. My mother never gave up her habbits for me or any one else... she didnt do "what was best" she did what she felt most comfortable with at the detrament to others. When it was no longer most comfortable for her she quit smoking and drugs, both cold turkey. Selfishness has many ways of convincing us we are incapable of many things, it also is a great friend in seeking out excuses for bad behaviors.

Jessica - posted on 05/16/2009

I was a smoker and when my husband and I decided to start trying for a baby I cut back over a month while starting the pre-natal vitamins. I stopped completely when we started trying and even though I had cravings throughout my pregnancy I never once thought about touching a cigarette because it wasn't just my health and body I was putting at risk. I wanted to give my baby the best possible start at life, and yes some people can only cut back and that is better than what amount they were smoking before so good on them too!

The thing that saddened me most was sitting in the waiting room one time at the delivery suite waiting for my appointment, and seeing a few heavily pregnant mums going to smoke outside.

My friends sister in-law chained smoked through her first pregnancy, smokes in her home and is smoking through her second pregnancy. She never has tried to cut back and that is disheartening. I feel really sorry for her unborn child, and her son.

Sarah - posted on 05/16/2009

To quit smoking is very hard.....i think that when you crave for a cigarette you should think of your poor little baby inside you. I gave up smoking before i was pregnant as i always knew i never wanted to smoke whilst being pregnant, i was luckily to quit so easily but i know its not easy for everyone x

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2009

why do people keep starting threads like this??? it seems to me that it's just an excuse to cause controversy and get people all riled up! obviously it's wrong to smoke when you're pregnant, it's wrong to smoke at all, i'm a smoker and i know this, i'm not stupid! but i don't see the point in starting a thread to ask why people do it?? i mean isn't it obvious, it's an addictive drug and it's not always easy for people to quit no matter what the circumstances. i thought this site was about giving and receiving advice, not to start playing 'whose the best mum' or judging others for their way of life!

Heather - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Ashley:

my opinion...if you dont like the look of it...simply dont look! you didnt do it good for you thats amazing. but honestly people have been doing it for 100 years and whether you approve of it or not people will continue to do it for 100 years. these same threads are getting a little boring as it's always the same thing with the same people and their same answers. most people dont care what complete strangers think of them so what makes you think that people care what you think about them. honestly there comes a point where people need to stop worrying about what other people do and focus on themselves. i know i'm goin to get answers like "well it is my business because you pollute my air" ya well the car you drive pollutes my air, my sons air, and my unborn sons air. there are worse things in this wolrd that people need to concentrate on rather than pregnant woman smoking a damn cigarette.

I love it!

Heather - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Nadia:

Jodi I agree with you, quitting smoking isn't the easiest thing to do. I tried it with both my boys and it was stressing me out so my doctor advised me to have no more than 3 a day just to curb my cravings. Lots of people don't know that smoking during pregnancy doesn't harm the baby it affects their BIRTH WEIGHT ONLY!!!! Both of my boys are healthy and happy and I'm thankful for that, but women who judge smokers should look at moms who drink during pregnancy....that's worse!!!

Right on!

Joy - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Holly:

I understand and agree that parenting choices are individual rights yet there are some issues where people do have a right to stand up for the babies rights first. I understand the addiction of cigarettes but I'm sure not one mother on here would pick up her newborn and put a cigarette in his/her mouth. It is really no different than smoking when you are pregnant, just because you can't hold him/her in your arms doesn't mean they aren't smoking. They are doing everything that you are. It is hard to give up so many things we love for ten months but it is our responsibility to that. Perhaps, try to pick up a less hazardous stress relief, it may not be as instantaneous but there are other stress relief methods that in the long run may really work for you. I wish the absolute best of luck to everyone who is trying to quit, you CAN do it. But understand that when other people see a pregnant woman smoking, we see a baby smoking and that automatically triggers a negative response. Maybe not toward you but toward the decision.

Holly, Thank you for the way you worded your post.  I appreciate your advice and your opinion.  As a smoker, as a woman with fertility issues, I also used to scoff at seeing a woman swollen with pregnancy, standing outside a store, smoking a cigarette....because I knew that "I'd be different" if I ever got pregnant (I would think to myself as I exhaled a big cloud of smoke).  Of course, if IIIII ever got pregnant, I would quit...that would be THE reason I finally quit.  As a mother who smoked while pregnant, although I cut way back like the OP did, I felt exactly what you said.  I knew that with every puff of my cigarette I was not the only one smoking.  I really like how you worded it.   "Just because you can't hold him/ her in your arms doesn't mean they aren't smoking."  See, I felt that way the entire time I was pregnant, even though I went from 20 a day to maybe 3 or 4.  I still knew that those 3 or 4 were possibly harming my child.  So I would cut back even more, even quit for days at a time.  But I was high risk because of my age.  And because I had been smoking for so long, I'm one of "those women" whose doctors actually told me that it was better for me to smoke 2 a day than to quit cold turkey and stress myself into yet another miscarriage.  So I did the best I could.  What everyone needs to understand is that our situations are all different.  There are women out there who get pregnant and don't change their habits one bit.  They have healthy babies and think that it's "no harm, no foul...my baby is ok...whew..."    Then there are others who smoke but who are able to quit at the first positive and have no problem.  Those are the ones that I think have some of the biggest issues here, on this subject.  They quit, didn't want to but they did, for their babies.  And they think that just because THEY were able to make that saccrifice that the rest of us should be able to also...without question....without hesitation.  To me, it's kinda like how breastfeeding just comes naturally to some women and for others it's hard work.  Anyone ever see the original Blue Lagoon?  That's what I grew up thinking breast feeding would be like, but it was NO WHERE near that easy.  Same with smoking.  I always thought I'd quit when I got pregnant, but for me it turned out to be stronger than I was.  And what drives me nuts is to see how many women think that we don't love our babies or that we didn't want what's best for them because we couldn't kick our habits.  I'll be the first to admit that smoking is a weakness.  I'll be the first to admit that I am powerless against it sometimes.  I'll be the first to admit that while I was pregnant I agonized every day about each cigarette I lit.  Trust me, we smokers don't need facts spewed at us.  We need a shoulder to lean on, a hand to help us OUT, a friend to listen....even if it's a virtual friend. 

My quit date is June 1st.  I've heard that it takes an average smoker several tries to beat the habit.  Well, I consider myself an above average smoker and this is my at LEAST 10th attempt.  I've done it for so long that literally some days I don't know how to function without a smoke.  My brain quite literally won't work properly.  I'll try sometimes to just cold turkey it.....and an hour later I find myself standing in the middle of my living room crying, drowning in a sea of toys, tv blaring, my 18 month old sticking his hand down the wrong side of a diaper and I want to scream.  For those of you who never smoked or experienced an addiction, this is the torture part.  This is the moment when you decide to either be strong or to let something "beat you".  It's hard not to give in is all I'm saying. 

One last thing, Holly said that when a non smoker sees a pregnant woman smoking, she sees a baby smoking and it automatically triggers a negative response....I feel that too.  I cringe when I see it also.  But trust me, no one cringes on the inside more than the pregnant smoking woman.  We know that you think we are the scum of the earth.  We look in the mirror every night and can't quite look our own selves in the eye because we know you are right....all you people who preach at us....in the end...we know you're right.  But as right as you are, maybe all it would take to make even ONE of us quit is a little patience and understanding.  Maybe a little less "tough love' and a lot more compassion.  There are many ways to skin a horse.........and sometimes going at it head on isn't the best way.  Thanks for listening to me go on and on..... 

Barbara - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Kristin:

Quoting Barbara:

Quoting Aleeza:

oh and on the formula issue, i formula feed all my kids, i do not produce milk i went through hell trying but it doesn't happen, so for all those who see a moj feeding formua please note you do not know why that women made her choice and it makes no reflection on her parenting. other reasons are resentment toward a baby for feeling like a dairy farm, sex appeal- or lack their of to a partner or spouse, medical reasons, personal choice, working, medications for depression and on and on. personally my last one i didn't even try he was 3.11 and in the nicu for a long time, i had an emotional and long pregnancy and 2 kids under 3 at home, i was zonked and simply couldn't even try

See, I am applying this kind of logic to the smoking debate.  We shouldn't be calling women bad mothers for formula feeding because as you say we don't know why they made those choices, and the same thing goes for me when it comes to mothers who smoke.  We don't know their situation, and pretty much all of those potential reasons you listed above could be reasons for the smoking mothers as well. (resentment to baby, personal choice, partner support, medical reasons, etc.)  If we don't know, we can't judge.

Barbara, I understand where your coming from, but there is a HUGE difference BW formula feeding and smoking.  Can formula feeding cause irreputable harm to a childs health? 

Technically, yes it can cause ireparable harm.  (I'm assuming you meant irreparable, not irreputable.  Any harm to a child is irreputable, right?;) )  I'm sure you have read all about the potential risks of choosing formula over the breast, (increased risk of diabetes, certain cancers, cronic gastrointestinal problems, obesity, etc etc.) That's why any doctor will tell you that breast is best.  However, breastfeeding is just not an option for some families, and they don't deserve to be judged harshly for that by people who don't know their personal situations.  And neither do mothers who smoke in my opinion.

Kristin - posted on 05/15/2009

Thank you Holly...EXACTLY!!!!!

Holly - posted on 05/15/2009

This is a bit off of topic but alot of posts have been made about not judging others. My question is when does the concern over a childs welfare become dominant over the concern for a parent's rights? I have seen pregnant women getting wasted in a bar, a mother calling her child stupid repeatedly, a mother intentionally slam her childs leg in a car door. I am absolutely not comparing these instances to smoking but I'm just concerned that we are too worried about offending anyone to really see the big picture. Sometimes we do have a right to judge because sometimes people are just plain wrong. Smoking is starting to become one of those issues. We all know that it is extremely bad for your health whether you are the smoker or the second-hand smoker. Maybe seeing the harsher side of the judgement will make one more person think twice about doing it. Sometimes we continue bad habits because the are acceptable. That is fine for adults but children deserve someone to stand up and say that it is not fine if it could affect their health or their safety.

Kristin - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Barbara:

Quoting Aleeza:

oh and on the formula issue, i formula feed all my kids, i do not produce milk i went through hell trying but it doesn't happen, so for all those who see a moj feeding formua please note you do not know why that women made her choice and it makes no reflection on her parenting. other reasons are resentment toward a baby for feeling like a dairy farm, sex appeal- or lack their of to a partner or spouse, medical reasons, personal choice, working, medications for depression and on and on. personally my last one i didn't even try he was 3.11 and in the nicu for a long time, i had an emotional and long pregnancy and 2 kids under 3 at home, i was zonked and simply couldn't even try

See, I am applying this kind of logic to the smoking debate.  We shouldn't be calling women bad mothers for formula feeding because as you say we don't know why they made those choices, and the same thing goes for me when it comes to mothers who smoke.  We don't know their situation, and pretty much all of those potential reasons you listed above could be reasons for the smoking mothers as well. (resentment to baby, personal choice, partner support, medical reasons, etc.)  If we don't know, we can't judge.

Barbara, I understand where your coming from, but there is a HUGE difference BW formula feeding and smoking.  Can formula feeding cause irreputable harm to a childs health? 

Barbara - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Aleeza:

oh and on the formula issue, i formula feed all my kids, i do not produce milk i went through hell trying but it doesn't happen, so for all those who see a moj feeding formua please note you do not know why that women made her choice and it makes no reflection on her parenting. other reasons are resentment toward a baby for feeling like a dairy farm, sex appeal- or lack their of to a partner or spouse, medical reasons, personal choice, working, medications for depression and on and on. personally my last one i didn't even try he was 3.11 and in the nicu for a long time, i had an emotional and long pregnancy and 2 kids under 3 at home, i was zonked and simply couldn't even try

See, I am applying this kind of logic to the smoking debate.  We shouldn't be calling women bad mothers for formula feeding because as you say we don't know why they made those choices, and the same thing goes for me when it comes to mothers who smoke.  We don't know their situation, and pretty much all of those potential reasons you listed above could be reasons for the smoking mothers as well. (resentment to baby, personal choice, partner support, medical reasons, etc.)  If we don't know, we can't judge.

Brooke - posted on 05/15/2009

I dont quite understand these habbits... I smoked for about 6 months and one day just woke up and that was it.. I felt stupid for ever doing such a harmful thing to myself.. I do believe it must be hard for a lot to give up habbits such as smoking but try to think of your baby, its not there choice to smoke. I am not having a go at anyone who does smoke if thats what they choose to do then fine :-) but i do praise anyone who even tries even if quitting is not achieved.

Aleeza - posted on 05/15/2009

oh and on the formula issue, i formula feed all my kids, i do not produce milk i went through hell trying but it doesn't happen, so for all those who see a moj feeding formua please note you do not know why that women made her choice and it makes no reflection on her parenting. other reasons are resentment toward a baby for feeling like a dairy farm, sex appeal- or lack their of to a partner or spouse, medical reasons, personal choice, working, medications for depression and on and on. personally my last one i didn't even try he was 3.11 and in the nicu for a long time, i had an emotional and long pregnancy and 2 kids under 3 at home, i was zonked and simply couldn't even try

Aleeza - posted on 05/15/2009

im a smoker but the each time with my 3 pregnancies i stopped the day i got a positive test. i know really soon also when i am like 2 weeks in cause the nausea and sensitivity to smells kicks in,. i feel that its not about you, its not just you who is smoking at that point and u have no right to inflict your bad behavior on a child, or anyone else. so to me its an easy decision i just stop, it kills me but its not a choice in my mind

Holly - posted on 05/15/2009

I understand and agree that parenting choices are individual rights yet there are some issues where people do have a right to stand up for the babies rights first. I understand the addiction of cigarettes but I'm sure not one mother on here would pick up her newborn and put a cigarette in his/her mouth. It is really no different than smoking when you are pregnant, just because you can't hold him/her in your arms doesn't mean they aren't smoking. They are doing everything that you are. It is hard to give up so many things we love for ten months but it is our responsibility to that. Perhaps, try to pick up a less hazardous stress relief, it may not be as instantaneous but there are other stress relief methods that in the long run may really work for you. I wish the absolute best of luck to everyone who is trying to quit, you CAN do it. But understand that when other people see a pregnant woman smoking, we see a baby smoking and that automatically triggers a negative response. Maybe not toward you but toward the decision.

Patty - posted on 05/15/2009

I don;t understand the mom's that think it's ok to smoke while pregnant, and then after the baby is born smoke outside. I hate stupid people, lol

Michelle - posted on 05/15/2009

After seeing most of the comments made in this discussion, I personally am disgusted by the judgement being made, its totally wrong.I dont actually think that it is anyones business but your own as to what you do with your own body, such a topic shouldn't be getting discussed, unless it between Dr and patient.Not the sort of thing that I ever expected to be seeing on Circle of Moms!

Joy - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Sara:

Quoting Barbara:

Wow, this just illustrates for me one of the benefits of looking at Circle of Moms. I have been known to cringe when I've seen a smoking mother to be, or a baby on formula, or any number of other situations. It's very easy to judge someone else when you don't know the whole story. It's so nice to be shown another perspective besides my own. It shows me where I may have been too judgmental, and helps to develop my own opinion to one that includes a bigger picture. Thanks very much for the honesty, ladies.

Uhhh...in what universe is feeding a baby formula as bad as a pregnant woman smoking?  You're right, you need help with your judgements.

Ummm, I think Barbara's point was that she's learned to see the bigger picture on several issues mothers face (thanks to the Circle).  She wasn't being judgemental.  It sounds to me like this discussion (and probably others) have made her LESS judgemental...and that's a good thing, right? :)

Jenna-Lee - posted on 05/15/2009

i think all any mum can do when pregnant is at least try an give up all the bad things as soon as you find out your pregnant, when i found out i was pregnant i was 20 round at a mates getting drunk an i had been smoking since i was 14 one of my friends suggested i may be pregnant and as a mum herself she had a test in the cupboard i did it an i was from the mimute i saw the positive sign i never smoked or drank it was something i was dead against. Its up to each an evryone to decide what you do but its not nice seeing a pregnant woman smokin an im pretty sure there are tests that have been done that prove it is bad for baby. I just put me on hold for 9 months an gave my baby every bit of goodness i could ever give him. Good luck to any new mum who wants to give up smokin do it for your baby not yourself xx

Sara - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Barbara:

Wow, this just illustrates for me one of the benefits of looking at Circle of Moms. I have been known to cringe when I've seen a smoking mother to be, or a baby on formula, or any number of other situations. It's very easy to judge someone else when you don't know the whole story. It's so nice to be shown another perspective besides my own. It shows me where I may have been too judgmental, and helps to develop my own opinion to one that includes a bigger picture. Thanks very much for the honesty, ladies.

Uhhh...in what universe is feeding a baby formula as bad as a pregnant woman smoking?  You're right, you need help with your judgements.

Lyndsay - posted on 05/15/2009

I smoked during my pregnancy because I felt that it would be more difficult on myself (therefore baby too) to try and quit, and that it doesn't cause malformities or anything so it wasn't too bad. I did feel guilty though and so I did my very best to eat properly.. I had a checklist and I would check off each serving of every food group that the thing recommended, because I kind of thought I was making up for it that way.



They say that smoking can cause premature labour and low birth weight babies. My son was born at 36 weeks and he was just under 7lbs (6.14), and he's a very healthy and active little boy. He does tend to have respiratory difficulties though, so if I were to get pregnant a second time I would try to quit.



Just thought I'd share my story. :)

Mary - posted on 05/15/2009

Quoting Kristin:

Hannah...I agree with you 100%...I posted my opinion on another smoking thread and some people didn't care so much for my stance either...they think that stating facts and being blunt and not sugar coating it and passionate about something is being "bitchy"... Keep on being honest.... I am right there along side you.

There is nothing wrong with being honest Kristin and there is nothing wrong with being passionate about somthing but YES there is a point when it turns into "bitchy"....you can be honest without calling people disgusting or heartless and so on.   You have a right to your opinion and I have a right to my own......but you don't have to put others down to get your opinion out there or your point across. 

If I ask a question or I ask for some advice of course I want honest answers but I don't want to be bitched out either....there is a way to convay your thoughts without being rude or condesending to others. 

Barbara - posted on 05/15/2009

Wow, this just illustrates for me one of the benefits of looking at Circle of Moms. I have been known to cringe when I've seen a smoking mother to be, or a baby on formula, or any number of other situations. It's very easy to judge someone else when you don't know the whole story. It's so nice to be shown another perspective besides my own. It shows me where I may have been too judgmental, and helps to develop my own opinion to one that includes a bigger picture. Thanks very much for the honesty, ladies.

Kristin - posted on 05/15/2009

Hannah...I agree with you 100%...I posted my opinion on another smoking thread and some people didn't care so much for my stance either...they think that stating facts and being blunt and not sugar coating it and passionate about something is being "bitchy"... Keep on being honest.... I am right there along side you.

Ashley - posted on 05/15/2009

my opinion...if you dont like the look of it...simply dont look! you didnt do it good for you thats amazing. but honestly people have been doing it for 100 years and whether you approve of it or not people will continue to do it for 100 years. these same threads are getting a little boring as it's always the same thing with the same people and their same answers. most people dont care what complete strangers think of them so what makes you think that people care what you think about them. honestly there comes a point where people need to stop worrying about what other people do and focus on themselves. i know i'm goin to get answers like "well it is my business because you pollute my air" ya well the car you drive pollutes my air, my sons air, and my unborn sons air. there are worse things in this wolrd that people need to concentrate on rather than pregnant woman smoking a damn cigarette.

Lisa - posted on 05/15/2009

i think people who are pregnant should try to quit or cut down on smoking. but my friend has 4 kids. the first 3 pregnancies she smoked and her kids came out fine on the 4th child she didnt smoke and he was born with asthma. wierd.

Mary - posted on 05/15/2009

Hannah...I saw your other posts in the other smoking topic. While I understand your pasion I think you put it across totaly wrong. I also understand the fact that It is very frustrating to see a woman not care about the health of her unborn child but you don't know if that mother is smoking a pack a day or is cutting down and working towards quiting....so all we are saying is don't judge before hand untill you know the facts.



I also know that I responded better to people HELPING me and telling me I was doing good and to keep going. They told me I could do it and reminded my why I was doing it to help me along. The people critising and judging does nothing but hurt and make a person feel stupid and usless. It is far better to help a person then to beat them down.

Hannah - posted on 05/15/2009

Well, Enjoy!

Tina - posted on 05/15/2009

It is not that simple. Nicotine is the most addictive drug out there. To just simply lay them done is not an easy process. So to criticize a mother for smoking during pregnancy does not help. I tried to quit when I was pregnant and my doctor told me to just cut back. He said the stress of trying to quit would be more harmful to the baby then me continuing to smoke. You must realize it is an addiction like no other. My babies were not born premature or with low birth weights. My 1st I was not a smoker yet he is extremely asthmatic and allergic to everything. My two youngest, whom I did smoke with, are not.

Emily - posted on 05/15/2009

Thanks. Circle of Moms is slowly starting to turn back into the goldmine of stupidity that I once so cherished. Its about time.

Hannah - posted on 05/15/2009

Welcome back, Emily. ;)

Emily - posted on 05/15/2009

I saw your petty bitchy replies in the smokers thread, and I love how this post just screams "VALIDATE ME INTERNETS!" oh, classic hannah ;)

Francesca - posted on 05/15/2009

I have never smoked, so this is only my opinion. my mum was a smoker she had 5 children each time she tried for a baby she stopped smoking, yes she started again each time we were all born, she never smoked in front of us all. now she has been a none smoker for 4 years.

when i see a heavily pregnant women walkin down the street with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth it makes me soooooo angry. i've been tryin for a baby now for 2 years and still not pregnant.

Libby - posted on 05/15/2009

Ok, without reading all the other responses, I just wanna say this drives me crazy seeing a pregnant woman smoke. I hate it when women smoke around their children to begin with. But when you're pregnant?? Geesh!! Some nerve! Some women just have no idea how fragile a little life is!

Mary - posted on 05/15/2009

Ok I know everyone is entitled to their opinion and I agree with all of you for the most part. YES I think smoking is bad and a person SHOULD quit before trying to start a family but if the pregnancy is a suprise then they SHOULD quit as soon as they can.....That is what I did. I did it in a way that I could handle and a way that was quickest for me. I am not selfish and I LOVE my child and would never want to harm him in anyway. My doctor helped me and supported me.



All I am asking is that fellow mothers give that same support and help to other mothers instead of telling them they are selfish and disgusting tell them they are doing well and to keep up the good work...tell them to keep their baby in their mind and how much they love that child. I understand feeling confused and disgusted by a mother who continues to smoke a pack or two a day with no effort to cut back and eventuly quit....now that is wrong.

Emma - posted on 05/15/2009

I was a smoker, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant i stopped that day. I smoke again now, but nowhere near my children, and feel so much better knowing i didn't smoke while pregnant. I can just imgine this tiny baby surrounded by smoke, it actually makes me feel sick. My babys meant more to me than a crafty Cigarette. As for the dr's advise, I completely understand that its stressful quitting, but its not as bad as the effects smoking can have on your unborn baby!!!!!!

Mary - posted on 05/15/2009

I feel like I am being attacked, lol...I know I am not but I am a mother who smoked while pregnant.....NOW before you jump all over me when I found out I was pregnant I talked with my doctor because I was concerned and didn't want to harm the baby. He told me I should quit but it would prob do more harm to try and do it cold turkey.....because there is so much going on inside you and it can be very stressful and to have the added stress of trying to quit cold turkey wouldn't be good.



I smoked about a half pack a day.....So my doctor helped me set up a way to ween myself off them by cutting back each day....pretty soon I was down to 2-3 a day and then none. My doctor helped me so much because at every visit he gave me pep talks and made sure I knew baby was doing well.



I agree that mothers should do everything they can to kick the habit when they find out they are pregnant but I also think other moms shouldn't be so judgemental towards us. If you never smoked you don't know how hard it is to stop......and YES I love my baby and wanted to do everything I could to make sure he was ok. I don't think some of you realize what going cold turkey is like. I have tried it before when I wasn't pregnant and I was soooo stressed, and angry. I snaped at everyone and everything drove me nuts.....there is no way I could have done that while dealing with all the changes going on in my body...I had enough mood swings as it was, lol.



So please just remember try not to judge to quickly untill you know the whole story.

Amber - posted on 05/15/2009

I'm confused as well, I stopped drinking my 3 cups od tea a day as soon as i found out i was pregnant. If I know it's bad for my unborn baby, then don't you think it's a bit selfish to indulge in your own addictions? My conscience would get at me too much and I would never be able to do that. I also don't think that Dr.'s push the fact that they NEED to quit, I've heard a lot of them say to just cut down a bit. I think it's ridiculous, selfish and I feel like pregnant smokers aren't even giving their child a chance.

Heather - posted on 05/15/2009

I was also told that cutting back was a better approach while pregnant, because the stresses that Mom feels, baby also feels. I smoked while pregnant with both my sons, who were 7 and 9 lbs at birth, and they are both healthy, smart and generally OK. By the time they were born, I had cut down to 2 or 3 smokes/day. And I also had 3 different obstetricians, and none of them were concerned with my smoking.

Now, no-one smokes in the house, no-one smokes in the car. I think it's law now, but we never have anyway.

Someone mentioned that they had 3 kids, and the only one she didn't smoke with was a straight A student in school? My Mom smoked with me, my brother, and my sister. I was the only one to turned out in the gifted program and skipping grades. So I think you're reading a little too deep into that. If smoking during pregnancy was The Only Thing that EVER caused learning disabilities, that would be some solid evidence. But it just isn't like that. There are many things that factor into the healthy development of babies and children.

I honestly think there are *risks*, there are risks for everything. Is anyone telling pregnant Moms to stop driving to work in rush-hour? Because all the exhaust from the other cars is hazardous as well. Is anyone else telling pregnant Moms to get rid of their cats? Because cleaning out the litter box releases ammonia fumes, and they are hazardous as well? Stop cleaning with bleach? Even nail-polish (and remover) fumes are dangerous.

If you are able to quit, congratulations. But we can't all do it. And since there are Moms out there right this minute cleaning cat litter boxes and breathing car exhaust while trying to get to work, don't panic. Unless you are living in a bubble, with pure oxygen being pumped into it, there are dangerous fumes EVERYWHERE.

Cathelijn - posted on 05/15/2009

Smoking causes cancer this is a proven fact if it hurts a full grown adult. Who knows what it can do to a developing baby.. I used to be a smoker myself but never in my life would I try to justify smoking whilst pregnant. People say it is so hard to stop smoking but isnt having a healthy baby a great incentive to STOP smoking? And people who say ow I smoked ow my mother smoked ow we are all fine that is fantastic but what if you or your children werent you wouldn't be on here saying it is ok to smoke a few a day...

ME - posted on 05/15/2009

I had smoked for 11 years when I found out that I was pregnant...I haven't touched a cig since! It was easy for me because the smell of them made me want to vomit! It is VERY hard tho, and some days now (baby is 15 months) I feel the old cravings, but I am doing it for him! I want to be part of his life for as long as I can, and not burn up any of our precious time together. I am also trying to conceive again, and I know that it is easier to do if you are NOT a smoker!

Julia - posted on 05/15/2009

I think it absolutley think it's disgusting!! However, I did have a friend and her Dr told her that it was ok for her to smoke, but it had to be ultra lights and only 7 a day. Needless to say, I didn't go to the same OB!!