Pregnant with 3rd child after 14 year gap!

Ava - posted on 12/12/2012 ( 145 moms have responded )

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My husband and I just found out that we are pregnant with our 3rd child. This was totally unexpected, I was on the pill and never planned on having 3 children. I am 42 years old and already have 2 kids who are 14 and 16. I am a little nervous to have a baby again after such a long time. Any one else in this situation? My teens are surprising happy about the baby. We have considered having a 4th so this baby isn't alone while growing up!

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Gina - posted on 01/30/2013

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Just found out I am pregnant with baby #3. I am 42 years old as well and have a 13 year old and a 14 year old. I am quite nervous at the moment. It has been so long.

Char - posted on 12/12/2012

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Welcome to the older mom club! I have a 19 year old, an 11 year old, a 2 year old and am pregnant with Surprise #4. Don't worry it will all come back to you. Just pay good attention to your health and don't be afraid of words like Advanced Maternal Age and High Risk. Your OB will be taking special care with you to ensure everything is on track because you are an older mother.



Take time to relax and enjoy this preganancy. Then after it is over and you remember how labor feels, the joy of changing smelly diapes and not sleeping at night determine if you want another. In my case God made the decision for me.



Best of luck to you!

Sheila - posted on 12/13/2012

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Yes, there is a difference of 12 years with my last child. It is much easier with all the experience you already have. The other kids don't mind helping ever once in awhile. The only thing is, you are a little more tired since you're older.

Amy - posted on 01/18/2013

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I was 42 and my youngest was 10 when I had surprise baby #5. Basically he is an only child since the other kids are so much older. He is 8 now and all the other kids are out of the house (well, 18 year old is away at college). If my husband had gone for it I would have tried for #6 so he had a sibling close in age to play with. My children are now 23, 23, 21, 18 and 8.

Dawn - posted on 01/05/2013

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I'm a 38 year old with a 17 year old son and a newly 15 month old daughter a big change bu we are so happy yes a big age gap but couldn't be happier x enjoynx

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Jennifer - posted on 07/02/2014

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Just wondering how its going? I read your post because my husband and I are contemplating a 3rd and our first 2 are 14 and 12. We've contemplated for years now. Since I will be 42 in January, we think we better decide now or never. Thanks!

Destiny - posted on 09/23/2013

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Im 31 and got two boys 9 and 12 and had a baby girl 7 months ago and thinking of having one more so ahe has aomone near her age to grow up with

Kathy - posted on 03/24/2013

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I am 48 and having my seventh baby a son any day now, nearly a 9 year age gap from my daughter. This pregnancy was very unexpected, I thought I was in menopause till I was 17 weeks along. My oldest son will be 25 next month and is expecting a baby boy, my first grandchild. I feel kind of bad that my little guy will have no siblings near his age. I am also nervous about having a baby again after such a long time. Mainly coping with the lack of sleep and juggling the older kids schedules and the baby and adjusting to being at home full time for a while and a one income family.

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2013

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I am 37 and I have a 19 yr old son, 15 yr old daughter, and a 6 yr old son. I thought about the fourth child for the same reason but I don't know. My two older ones love and protect the youngest. I'm worried he will be too spoiled. But, I have great babysitters. Lol

Christie - posted on 01/26/2013

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i have half sister that 17 years younger than me, but i have closer relationship with her than with my brothers (my brothers are 5 and 3 years older than me).
and with my mom, she had normal deliveries with my brothers n me, but with my sister, she choose a planned c-sect, since she was scared and got nervous.

Olivia - posted on 01/26/2013

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I considered a termination as I just panicked about the sacrifices I would have to make as my business is going well and my daughters are so independent, they are 12 and 10. I went through hell considering it and booked the appointment. I felt a huge relief after booking the appointment then 4 hours later got into a fit of crying and it did not stop for 2 days. I had to tell my daughters I was feeling unwell as my husband was working abroad and was worried sick about me. Then one Tuesday eve I gave my youngest daughter some custard for pudding after her dinner, she was so thrilled and excited to be having custard that it made me feel so emotional that she could be at 10 be so grateful for such a simple pleasure and I decided that I wanted this baby to taste custard, to feel the sun on it and meet these 2 incredibly humble, polite and beautiful souls I have as daughters, so I cancelled my appointment and I pray that one day my baby will have custard!
Husband and I are excited but wary about our new baby and still want our first scan before telling our daughters.

Diane - posted on 01/26/2013

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I did it and it's so wonderful! Especially now because if I didn't, I wouldn't have any children home. My kids ages are 32, 29, 25 a set of twins that are 15 all boys and then My 13 year old daughter. Now I have my first granddaughter and she is 4 months old. My life is so blessed and I would do it all over again.

Diane - posted on 01/26/2013

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I did it and it's so wonderful! Especially now because if I didn't, I wouldn't have any children home. My kids ages are 32, 29, 25 a set of twins that are 15 all boys and then My 13 year old daughter. Now I have my first granddaughter and she is 4 months old. My life is so blessed and I would do it all over again.

Nicole - posted on 01/19/2013

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Hi Ava,

Congratulations!

I understand how you feel...my husband are new parents again after 15 years for me and 21 years for my husband. It's like doing it for the first time again. We too have been thinking about the fact that our little girl would be alone growing up...but not sure about another baby at this time.
Take the time to enjoy the pregnancy and everything will fall into place.

Darla - posted on 01/19/2013

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I was nervous, too! We have six kids (the first 5 were born within six years). After 15 years, we had another one. My youngest son is now an UNCLE at age 6 to 4 of my granddaughters. One of my granddaughters calls him her brother. It is, indeed, a blessing. Good luck and many prayers to you and your family!

Olivia - posted on 01/18/2013

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I am going throughout same thing. I am pregnant with our third and my daughters are 12 and 10. We have not told them yet not until the 12 week scan but I am sure they will be thrilled as they love little children. I am also nervous about going back to the baby thing. Thought those days were behind me. I am 37.

Melody Mendez - posted on 01/18/2013

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You never know you might be like me a pregnant at 40 and had twins then you won't have to worry about a sibling! LOL!! I just had my twins in October and its GREAT IM SO IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! And my oldest is 24, then I have a 13 year old , then a 9 year old and then my twins which are 15 weeks old!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! ALL GIRLS!!!!!!!

Alegre - posted on 01/12/2013

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My oldest will be 8 and my youngest will be 7 when this new baby is born. Obviously not as big a gap as 14 years but still we are at a very different stage in our lives. Now that my kids are in school full time I was ready to reenter the work force but it doesn't look like that will be happening. I am 36 and we still may have a 4th just so this one also has a playmate. My first 2 are only 14 months apart so we planned on waiting to have anymore but it took us over a year to get pregnant with this one after I had my IUD removed. I am also gestational diabetic and was with my first two but this time has been worse and I am on insulin so that is one thing that causes me to say that this child may just be by himself.

Mandy - posted on 01/12/2013

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My aunt also found out at the age of 42 that she was pregnant..her children at the time were 20 and 18......all went well and she said its the best thing that ever happened her it was hard at the beginning but she pulled through it!!!!Her pregnancy was also unexpected she taut she sick and went to the doctor for him to tell her she was pregnant!!!!

Felecia - posted on 01/09/2013

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ENJOY THIS PREGNANCY!!! This post is so very close to my heart. We were in a very similar situation a year ago. We now have a one year old that is SIXTEEN (16) years YOUNGER than the last one. We were really happy yet frightened when we found out. Now that we have five boys, we are actually quite happy. Our children are the following ages: 22, 20, 20, 17 and 1 years old. We also considered having another but my doctor said NO MORE PLEASE so he will be raised almost as an only child.

Just watch your health, rest when your body says rest and enjoy letting your older children and husband take care of you. I found that older body didn't bounce back as quickly; and having a baby so late was not "just like riding a bike". lol. Congrations! Enjoy and best wishes to you and your entire family.

Amanda - posted on 01/08/2013

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We have a 13 year gap between our two sons. This has been an amazing experience! We are much more relaxed this time, as we are older and more secure. Our oldest son has been amazing! He's taken on an almost parent-like role (even though we don't even ask him to babysit...we promised him that we would not treat him like a built-in babysitter)...but he WANTS to be involved. I see him growing in many ways...he's becoming stronger in his character and is not only learning more about the importance of family, but he's learning patience and tolerance. Our little Peanut has strengthened our family in ways I didn't even know were possible. Congratulations on your big news!!

Cecilia - posted on 01/05/2013

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yep same thing happened to me cept it was a 10 year gap. I had a 13,11,10 year old. Found out i was pregnant and my 10 yr old was so happy. That baby is now 2. Her sister and her hang out and have fun all the time. We choose to have another also, she is now 4 months.
She is the greatest lesson i could ever wish for. She is colic, she is the reason all my kids want to wait to have children.

Having the babies along with teens only reinforces the family bond. It makes you remember why you love your teens even though they are a pain at times. It has taught me to relearn patience, i was lacking that as they grew older.

I had realized when i was preg. with the last i would be sending my oldest to college before i send her to pre-school. Just roll with the punches and do what you think is best for your family as far as having a 4th.

Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2013

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I had my kids almost 12 years apart ... I love it ... it's like being a new mom all over again. So much time has past that I forgot alot about the stages, etc ... I also didn't have the guilt of not giving my kids the same amount of attention. My son had 11 almost 12 years of being an only child and he was at the age where he was independent on every level so didn't need me for anything ( except to pay for things haha ) ... Now they are 3 and almost 15 and my daughter is like an only child in the regards of my time and attention as my son is in high school, has a job, gf etc so really doesn't need me for anything ... AND I have a live in babysitter whenever we want to go on a date or whatever. The only part that I feel bad about it, although they are close now, cause they live in the same house, is that my son and daughter won't have a close sibling relationship. My son will be gone in 2 years to college and my daughter will have just started school ... Congrats and good luck :)

Linda - posted on 01/02/2013

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HI! I have a 13 & a 19 year gap between my children, it really worried me when i was pregnant wondering how i would cope, also how they would get on, they are brill together...glad i did'nt do it any differently. Enjoy your family...they grow up too soon. xxx

Loraine - posted on 01/02/2013

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My 1st grandchild is due 26th June.
My 3rd child, 1st with new partner is due Aug 3rd.
My only concern is my daughters 21 & 19 not being happy when they find out.
I'm not concerned about age gap as my mom gave birth to my sister 2 months before her youngest brother was born (shes the 2nd of 8, families were bigger back then)
My uncle (who was named after my sister, as she died when a month old) & I were more like brother & sister growing up. I dont expect this with my grandchild & my child as we now live 3hrs drive away but who knows what the future holds :)

Karen - posted on 01/02/2013

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Yes, Ive also had the granny thing a lot. BUT dont let it get to you. Now I have evens more confusion as have a 5 and 9 year old, plus 2year old granddaughter. Everybody thinks theyre siblings as look so alike.

Melody Mendez - posted on 01/01/2013

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I DEFINATLY agree with Mary I've been asked a couple of times if my twins were my grand children???? Where's the respect these days lol were getting older but were not dead!!!!!!

Mary - posted on 12/31/2012

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My situation is very similar. (The big difference is my first two children have one father and my third has another.) I have two boys that are 18 and 14. I have a 2 year old daughter. I'm 41 and my boyfriend is 42. We are having so much fun with our daughter. We joke about looking like her grandparents. But really, being a 40 something parent is really cool! My two older boys really love their sister. They are old enough to really help, like watch her if I'm doing dishes or cooking. I've never left her with a sitter but if I wanted to, they'd be great babysitters. Congrats and enjoy! You're going to be more tired, definitely. But it's going to be so fun!

Erin - posted on 12/31/2012

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We have a seven year gap between out two oldest and our baby. Not as big as yours but still a difference. We also considered a 4th but this last pregnancy was very difficult for me so we have decided not to have another. We are considering becoming foster to adopt parents because we also don't want this one to grow up alone. The older two are great big sisters and a lot of help to me. The baby always has plenty of attention and is striving to keep up with the other two :). It's working well for our family so far and we are nine months in.

Laura - posted on 12/30/2012

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we just had our 3rd baby...we have a 16 yr old son and an 11 yr old daughter, both through previous relationships. our daughter is ecstatic, but my son just seems like he doesnt care either way.

Becky - posted on 12/29/2012

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I had a daughter that turned 16 and twins that were 14 when we had our fourth.....they adore her! She is now 3.5 years old and we are trying for another and I just turned 44. I just had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, unfortunately this is more common at our mature :) age. My doctor said I'm healthy but he wants me to do blood work 3 weeks after my first period since the miscarriage. this will tell him how close I am to menopause, check my thyroid and my hormone levels. i'm also curious to see how these numbers come in.
good luck!

Cindy - posted on 12/28/2012

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I have two different family friends who their children were like 12 and 14 and then had 2 more and they all seem like healthy happy families!!!! Let the older "help" and not be "responsible" for them. Love them all and best wishes to you all!!!!

Gwen - posted on 12/28/2012

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Congratulations! I was in just about the same position. Our son was 20 yrs and our twin girls were 12 yrs when we found out I was pregnant. 6 days after the girls turned 13 we welcomed Emily. She is now 21 months. It has definitely been different but at the same time sooo much fun. She has helped us remember what innocence is. I think the hardest part is remembering that as much as she tries, she can't do the same things the teenagers do. I wish you all the best with your special gift. Enjoy.

Karen - posted on 12/27/2012

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congrats! I have a 15year gap. Daughter is 24 and Jaryd (9) was totally unexpected. We also decided to have another little sibling for him, but battled with pregnancy. Kaiden is now 5, we tried for a 2year age gap. I would love to have another little one, but at 52, hubby says hes done.

Mandy - posted on 12/26/2012

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you lucky girl, congratulations to you all. I had an 11 year old and 8 year old when I got pregnant again at 42, baby born 10 days before my 43rd birthday. My older children are now 20 and 17 and would not be without their 8 year old brother who they both adore. I would have dearly loved another child after him, for the same reasons you mentioned, but sadly it never happened again. There are many times when I truly wished that it had as the older boys have each other. But my 8 year old is a very happy healthy young boy who has many friends and of course us. Good luck with your future plans and all the very best.

Jo Anne - posted on 12/25/2012

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I'm so happy that you still have another one baby.that's very good, I also have a small kid after 6 years gap with my 4th child. And she's the one accompanied us where ever we go.Just so happy that we still have one left who is so eager to go with us.

Maryann - posted on 12/24/2012

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Me and my brother are 17th years a part I was 12th grd when my mom had my brother my daughter and my brother r 3 years r apart

Meriona - posted on 12/24/2012

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I goofed when writing my first reply and accidently posted it thinking it had been deleted. I forgot to say my mother had 7 children with 27 years between the oldest and youngest. She never regretted any of us either.

Meriona - posted on 12/24/2012

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Two thoughts - my little sister was born when I was 14 and she was just like my own, I loved her so much! I took her with me overtown in her stroller and I was the only one she let rock her to sleep. She and I were closest of all seven of us kids.
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two thoughts - 1st - my little sister was born when I was 14 and she was just like my own from the day she was born. I even pushed her overtown in her stroller when I went to see my future husband. We were the closest of all seven of the kids in my family until the day she died from cancer at 55 with me by her side. 2nd - My last two children were 10 years apart and I wouldn't give up one day of my son's childhood. He is the one who kept us young. He is the one who made Christmas fun again. He is the one who kept away the empty nest syndrone when his sibs were old enough to be on their own. He is the one who gave us our only granddaughter after having 7 grandsons, the youngest 17. So don't be afraid to have this precious little baby. You'll do just fine and be surprised what a blessing they will be. Good luck to you.

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That is a God given gift. Welcome the child and be grateful for that is a blessing. Please do not abort your baby. other couples need kids,give the baby for adoption if it is going to be hard on you financially. There are a lot of options but do not give up by killing your fetus.

Ana - posted on 12/23/2012

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Congatulations!!!! Instead of two parents, baby will have four. This is such a blessing, all of you will enjoy the baby. Take good care of you, eat very health, stop junk food. Remember that this age, the body doesn't produce enough nutrients, and the baby needs it, as well as you. Visit a nutritionist to guide you all though you pregnancy, I think your doctor will suggest it. God Bless you & your family

Eleanor - posted on 12/23/2012

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I have a 27, 25, and 4 year old. I was 45 when my last one was born. A complete surprise. I was not supose to be able to have more kids. She is a joy to have around and her two older brothers fight over her

Sanela - posted on 12/23/2012

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Hi, i am 42 and my sister is 15 ys older than me and my brother 7. For the past 25 ys i dont feel any age difference between us and i am so much closer to her than friends or my cousins that are my age. Just enjoy, i would love to be in position that you are in!!:)

Kathy - posted on 12/23/2012

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My son was 19 when my husband and i found out ....unexpectedly... that we were going to be having another baby. My first night being home after our baby was born... She had woke at about 1am for a feeding... My son was right there when he heard her cry. He brought her to me every time she woke up and ran down to the kitchen to get me a drink etc... He rocked and cooed the baby as much as myself. Lol... Everything went so well, we realized how much we missed having little ones around.... 13 months later we had another daughter, and 2 years after that we had our son.... Both very much planned for:) Oh ya... I am also in my early 40's :)

Margaret - posted on 12/23/2012

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I know many mums in this situation and they've all coped extremely well Ava...best of luck with your adorable baby! - Margaret in Brisbane, Australia :)

Cheryl - posted on 12/23/2012

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Even though you feel like you're the only one going through this, you can see from all the posts that it's not all that uncommon. I had my "second family" when I was 32. However, because I had my two daughters very young, they were already in high school when our little guy was born. He had 3 moms and a dad! The girls loved and cared for him and like the other posters we often fought for time with the baby. I did wish he had been twins though. Mainly because I had the extra help in the early years and he would have had a playmate when the girls went off to college. He's 21 now and survived being an only child....with benefits (he is very close to his two sisters and became an uncle at age 8), He is truly a blessing and my husband and I found ourselves savoring our time with him. We were much better parents by then and appreciated the "second chance" at parenting. Good luck with your "second family!"

Amy - posted on 12/23/2012

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congrats I have a 23,8, 7 it keeps you young remembera child is a blessing from God enjoy . Make sure to keep up with doc on all that is going on .....after we had jeremiah we wanted another also lol it has worked out wonderful....

Connie - posted on 12/23/2012

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Mine are 10 years apart--have fun and enjoy it. And "being alone"? You don't "have" to have a 4th child--the 3rd will be just fine.

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