PRETEEN ISSUES!!

SONYA - posted on 09/23/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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HEY EVERYONE! I HAVE A 12 YEAR OLD BOY, RYAN. HE RECENTLY STARTED SECONDARY SCHOOL AND LAST FRIDAY HE WAS CAUGHT SNEAKING TO THE SHOP AT LUNCH. FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED OUT AT LUNCH. I GAVE OUT TO HIM A LITTLE BUT DIDN'T MAKE TOO BIG AN ISSUE OF IT BUT WHEN I WENT TO SIGN HIS JOURNAL FOR THE WEEK HE HAD FORGED MY SIGNATURE!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHY HE DID IT CAUSE HE TOLD ME ABOUT THE INCIDENT. I GAVE HIM A 2 MONTH GROUNDING FOR IT BUT I'M CURIOUS. ARE ALL PRE TEENS THIS SILLY? AND DO YOU THINK I SHOULD KEEP UP THE PUNISHMENT?

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Jodi - posted on 09/23/2009

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SOnya, I personally don't think ANY child should be allowed to leave the schoolgrounds during school hours without their parent's permission, but that's just me, and that's why I send my son to a private school. My son is 12 and he will be in high school (secondary) in February.



Are all pre-teens this silly? Yes. They think we are stupid, and they will find any way they think they can to get out of trouble. Personally, from experience, I think boys are sillier about it than girls (girls tend to be more manipulative and calculating) but that's just my experience with my lot. Everyone is different.



Now, about the punishment. You gave the grounding after thinking about it, or in anger? Whichever your answer, yes, you now need to stick to it. OR, if you feel you gave the punishement in anger and haste and didn't really think it through properly, you could do a deal with him similar to suspended sentence. Write up a contract, make him understand what he did wrong, explain that if it happens again, the contract will be torn up and the punishment will apply. Just a thought. You CANNOT back down on the punishment entirely, but you could extend him a second chance but make it hard for him.

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Jodi - posted on 09/26/2009

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What your son did sounds like normal teen behavior. If your son is usually a good kid, I wouldn't worry to much. It sounds like the excitment of High School, thinking they could go off campus and not get caught. He forged your signature because he knew what he did was wrong and didn't want to get in trouble. I think you should sit him down and have a discussion on TRUST. That really, in my opinion is the bigger issue. Let him know that if you can't trust him to make the right decisions that is going to affect is abilities to be able to do anything through out his high school years. He needs to know you understand the excitment of High School and the lure to leave campus, but rules are in place for a reason and he needs to respect them. From what you said it sounds like he and maybe some friends just thought they would try it, and you had a talk with him, two months grounding seems a bit excessive to me. I would sit him down talk about trust, he made a poor judgement and in my opinion a week with no privledges is plenty. The punishment should fit the crime, so unless there is more to the story I would re-evaluate the length of time.

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