Pro-Life or Pro-Choice - when there are issues invovled

Andrea - posted on 07/27/2011

2 years ago Oct. 13th 2009, I was faced with this Question head on by my doctor's. As we had just found out our second child, a little girl had Gastroschisis and a Scytic Hydomia {spelling not 100%} and the doctor told me to just end the perg. I myself could not make that choice i was already 13 weeks and had seen her, heard her heart beat. I looked at my husband, doctor's and family and told them she had the right to life just as the rest of us did. It was a very high risk, with my problems, I was in per-term labor at 32 weeks and 22 years old to find i also had chicken pox. At 36 weeks her AF dropped to 3cm and the induced me the next day. I gave birth to a 2-3lb baby { couldn't tell me 100%} She was "normal" other then the Gastroschisis {insides outside body} She was in the NICU for 6 weeks and now she is a "normal" Two year old little lady other then a few problems with potty time.. So in the long run, Every family, Woman have the right to make there choice that is best for them and there family. Not everyone can say one way or another until it is looking you right in the face and someone is saying to just end your preg.
Not trying to be rude nor am i saying i disagree with anyone. I just feel that every family or woman needs to make the best educated decision.

Tonya - posted on 07/27/2011

I am pro-choice but for myself I couldn't abort even for those reason. But I haven't ever been in those situations so I don't know exactly what I would do.

Keera - posted on 07/22/2011

UPDATE: I moved almost 3 months ago & dont have internet. I only get online ever once-in-awhile at my parents house.

Anyway...the girl that was raped lost the baby. They believe it was due to stress & her unhealthy diet.

The one with the back issues was put on bed rest for the last 2.5months but her & the baby boy are doing great! There were issues here & there because of her condition but they are both fine =]

Kathy - posted on 04/13/2011

Sensitive subject. I think this is up to each individual woman. We each should always have the ultimate right to decide what is and isn't done to and with our bodies. So to personally answer, if I was in these situations: In a medical situation, if the child can be saved but not myself, then the child is to be saved. If the pregnany is developing in an area where it can not be sustained, then the pregnany would be terminated, If I was raped and became pregnant, at this point and due to medical reasons, I would have an abortion. Before I had my uterin ablasion, I would have said that I would have either kept the baby or gave it up for adoption. Now it is too dangerous for me to become pregnant.

Lynne - posted on 04/13/2011

P.S. My daughter is perfectly healthy!

Lynne - posted on 04/13/2011

Who is to say years later that the woman who was raped will not feel guilty from killing her baby, if she has an abortion? She is stealing the life from another individual, if she has an abortion. If she does have an abortion, there is always a higher risk she will loose wanted pregnancies later. As far as the lady with the back problems, doctors do not always know what they are talking about! If I would have aborted my daughter who is my only living child just because a specialist & my OBGYN thought she was going to be a Down's Syndrome baby, I would not have any children. I miscarried my 1st child & had a full term stillborn daughter 5+ months ago. Trust me, there is not a day that goes by that I do not ache for the time I could have spent with my children.

Jenni - posted on 04/13/2011

Yes, that is *your* opinion on when life begins. Not everyone will agree with you. Sorry, I'm not going down that road with various opinions on that... don't wish to derail this thread.
I don't have to ask them. The woman deciding whether or not to have an abortion should consider that. I have never had an abortion, nor would I consider it in most cases. But I'm not about to tell another woman she should believe what I believe.

And don't put words in my mouth. Don't turn me into someone who has no value of life and views disabilities as a burdan on society....
I believe I said in a previous post that I have no problem paying extra taxes to help those who are struggling. Do you? I am saying that prolifers are so quick to tell another woman not to have an abortion. But when she doesn't and takes the route of adoption. I don't see you (generally 'you') stepping up and helping that child or providing a loving home for that 'unwanted' child. *YOU* want to stop women from getting abortions.... but *YOU* don't want to deal with the aftermath.
I do not see abandoned drug addicted babies or children with any other handicap as a burden. I think it's sad and unfair that they have to go through life not being loved.

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2011

I don't see how it can be a question as to when "life begins". To me, my childern were children the second they were conceived. I loved them instantly. So, if you don't believe that your kids were children before birth, what were they, just an annoying growth that you magically loved the second you saw them breathe? I'm confused, why is a child not a child just because they haven't experienced certain milestones yet? As for the child that was born with a crack addiction, or fetal alcohol syndrom, why don't you ask them if they would have prefered to have died before they ever got a chance to experience the world. You consider their "handicaps" as a burden. To them, they are a part of life.

Jenni - posted on 04/13/2011

@Jennifer I guess that comes down to individual's personal belief on when that child's 'life' begins. You nor I can determine when that it is. It is highly determined by individual beliefs.



Yes, we all know how realistic it is for a person to abstain from sex. What if they never want to have a child ever? They should have to remain celebate for the rest of their lives? What about women who work in the sex industry or drug addicts who couldn't give an *F* about whether or not they accidently get pregnant. Then torture the child slowly to death in their womb by doing drugs, contracting STDs, binge drinking and smoking. Hoping that if they do enough drugs they can self-abort. But if that doesn't happen, oh well... they'll just give that child up or treat them like a nuissance or burden... beat them, torture them, allow strange men to have their way with them... I don't think they care about *responsibility* and I'm pretty sure they'd have a few unkind words for you and others who told them they should abstain from sex.



No. It won't take away the anguish, pain and fear... but if a woman feels she can't handle raising a child from her rape. It's probably because she doesn't want the constant reminder in her face... she doesn't want to end up resenting that innocent child. Yes, she could go the route of adoption.... and I believe many women do. But when it comes down to it, it's her choice not yours. Unless you're willing to adopt her child and raise it yourself. You or anyone else have no business telling her she MUST go through with the pregnancy for the sake of the child.



Anyways, I covered a lot of this in my previous posts. So I'm going to stop repeating myself. :)

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2011

An abortion isn't about the womans body, it's about the CHILD'S!!! In all cases except rape, the woman already made her choice. She could have chosen not to have sex. In the case of rape, the woman didn't decide to have sex, but killing an innocent child over it, isn't going to make the anguish, pain and fear she has from that rape disappear.

Jenni - posted on 04/13/2011

" Why do we have the right to decide which struggles are ok, and which ones deserve a "mercy killing". "

*We* (society) don't have the right to decide. The woman does. There shouldn't be stipulations on an abortion. There isn't in my country. Yet we boast an incredibly low abortion rate. Why?
Because we're not busy worrying about what a woman should or shouldn't do with her own body. Instead we focus on taking preventative measures. Providing social assistance programs, sex education taught by science and not religious morals, universal healthcare, deal with reality instead of preaching moralistic ideals. We don't mind payng extra taxes to help out those who are struggling.

Jennifer - posted on 04/13/2011

I am 100% pro life. I don't believe there is ever a reason to kill a child. I don't care if the woman was raped, has medical issues, or is an addict. All children are special and PERFECT no matter what the rest of the world thinks. Everyone goes through struggles in their life. Some of those struggles are more visible while others are internal. Why do we have the right to decide which struggles are ok, and which ones deserve a "mercy killing".

Jenni - posted on 04/13/2011

To me the prolife stance is idealistic. If we lived in a utopian society where everyone believed the same way I do. No one does drugs, everyone is strong enough to keep their rapists baby, everyone abstains from sex before marriage, every unwanted child is adopted, everyone can afford and emotionally cope with a terminally ill child... but that's an ideal, it's not reality. So while prolifers are patting themselves on their back for their superior beliefs and morals, the rest of society has to deal with the aftermath.



My sister is a 25 year old RN. She currently works at a large metropoliton Sick Children's Hospital. She's worked in children's hospices as well. She will tell you what happens to many of these abandoned, terminally ill children. How many parents have left their children to be instintutionalized, or see them once a year. How these children are vastly left to suffer alone aside from the occasional nurse coming to change a diaper, feed a bottle or give a bath. How she still cries when she holds one of these grave infants, babies, toddlers, children who have been abandoned and have no one aside from her and the other nurses to show them affection and 'love'.

My sister has vowed to adopt. Even though she is able to have biological children of her own. She has decided to adopt instead. She is prochoice.



WOW!!! I can't believe how selfish my sister is! She should be ashamed!

*eye roll*



I'm not saying all these children should have been aborted. All I'm saying is why don't you prolifers since you're all about 'life'... adopt one. Be proactive instead of retroactively screaming murder at mothers who go into abortion clinics. Or typing out a few strong words and opinions from behind your computer screens. For those prolifers who do actively help these children or abondoned children, or have adopted... this is not for you. I applaud *you* and have the utmost respect for you.

Pippa - posted on 04/13/2011

Nobody takes Abortion lightly, I'm fed up of this idea that people are using abortion as a type of birth control seriously people who in there right mind would think "no its ok don't bother with a condom i can just visit a clinic be verbally abused and get a non-anesthetized invasive uterine surgical procedure instead because thats much easier than prevention"

No body is immune to mistakes and not everybody has the ability or funding to bring up a very sick child or even a healthy one nowadays, But nobody ever wants to be in a situation where that is there only choice, nobody wants an abortion

Jenni - posted on 04/13/2011

Pro-choice isn't about baby murdering and selfishness. It's about it not being my body and not being my choice. Not everyone believes life begins at the moment of conception. Even scientists are conflicted on when life begins. Not everyone is religious. Not everyone is all in the same situation. Not everyone can abstain from sex before marriage. Not everyone can handle carrying their rapists baby. Not everyone is willing to sacrifice their own life for their child. That is why I'm pro choice, because I am NOT HER. Even if I may not ever believe in abortion for myself, who am I to push my beliefs on another woman. Pro choice is about freedom of choice and freedom of beliefs.



Of course pro choice is about prevention. That's why we don't preach idealistic morals like abstinence and instead teach responsibility. We believe in PP. Birth control being easy to obtain and affordable. Sex Education. The day after pill and above all assistance groups for single mothers, rape victims, drug addicts.....

But the funny thing is... most conservatives are prolife and completely against any gov't funded social assistance. Ironic, isn't it?



@Julia, I'd really like to know where you came up with that 70% of women who become pregnant through rape keep their baby. Link please.

Pippa - posted on 04/13/2011

i'm pro-choice myself because it is upto a person what they do with there own body, i do not think i am strong enough to go through with a pregnancy if i knew the child had no chance of survival so i would abort, as far as rape goes, i have never been raped so i am in no way qualified to tell somebody what to do in that situation, it is not as easy as saying just have the child adopted, because then you are dealing not just with the emotional issues of rape but also the problems that span from having a child you probably can't bear to look at but you know is out there somewhere, but people that are pro-life should be admired for giving birth in these situations.



i just wish sometimes that some pro-lifers would stop being preachy because when it comes down to it if you decide to keep your baby that is your choice and i have no right to try and change it, and that is the same the other way round. my body is my own, Not God's, not my mothers, not some random mans from the pro-life movement and not a polititions. Its mine and i'll do what the heck i want to with it, sorry to rant lol, your friends are in a difficult situation but whatever they choose to do i hope they have a good support network

Kim - posted on 04/13/2011

I believe that abortion should only be used when a woman has been raped or when their life is in danger if they continue with the pregnancy. I used to work in Labor and Delivery as an RN. I have seen so many woman who have 5 or 6 abortions because they used it as their birth control. That is just wrong!

Remona - posted on 04/12/2011

We all have to stand before God and be judge for our actions. Wrong is wrong. Meaning if abortions are wrong, so was having sex outside of marriage. If a woman is going to have one, it should be done early, like 5-8 weeks. Waiting longer really seems like murder.

Remona - posted on 04/12/2011

We all have to stand before God and be judge for our actions. Wrong is wrong. Meaning if abortions are wrong, so was having sex outside of marriage. If a woman is going to have one, it should be done early, like 5-8 weeks. Waiting longer really seems like murder.

Katie - posted on 04/12/2011

WOW! touchy subject all around! I believe thateveryone has the right to decide what they want to do in thier situation, everyone has thier own reasons for making their choice and must live with that choice. I know some people that have made a mistake once..then learned from the situation not to repeat it, others I know have had many terminations, I will not confirm or deny having had one myself, but who am I to judge? for those ranting about god..let that be their issue when they are called to judgment. On the rape, drugs ect issue..again I think this is personal choice...people can not make the choice for others, before someone has one I'm sure a lot of thought goes into it. On the other hand I do feel for the forgotten men in this disscussion..some are forced to deal when they aren't ready with no thought given to them and others are devistated by the prospect.

I personally have two beautiful children, one with low functioning autism and epilepsy..and if pregnant again and told I would have another child the same..I would abort, I suppose people have thier own issues with that, but again..it's my choice, thats the beauty of living in society today..CHOICE.

I would hope that most people would choose not to bully anyone into anything based on thier opinion..u may get what u want..and they could be happy forever...others may not and puish the child.

Charlie - posted on 04/12/2011

If it were a matter of death in the instance that I would die I would have to abort ...My children here need me .



To bring another child into the world to leave not only them motherles as well as previous children motherless , heartbroken ect is selfish , reckless , thoughtless and nothing more than one final ego stroking .

Amber - posted on 04/12/2011

You're right society is selfish, incredibly selfish. It is selfish to force a woman to have a child that she can't afford so that they can struggle and starve. It is selfish to have a child who is addicted to drugs so that they can suffer from the symptoms of withdraw. It is selfish to force a woman who doesn't want children to have a child that she will mistreat for the rest of their lives. It is selfish to force one set of beliefs upon an entire population because they feel that they have it all figured out. The world is an incredibly selfish place.



And I'm pretty sure my son's dad got me pregnant...not God. Unless it was an immaculate conception, there was a penis/sperm involved that did the impregnating. :)



I personally would never have an abortion. But I have never been addicted to drugs. I have never been impregnated due to rape. I am upper middle class and have never had to worry about whether or not I could afford life's necessities for my child. In a perfect world, none of these things would have to factor into a pregnancy, but this world isn't perfect.



I'm not saying that every person in these situations should have an abortion, nor would I encourage it. I know people who aren't well off that have wonderful, healthy children whom they love. I know a person whose grandchild was addicted to drugs and suffered withdraws; she is beginning to flourish, but it has taken many, many years.

These children had people to love them and care for them, but not all children do. In the case that they will not have a loving, caring person to tend to them, it would be selfish to bring them into life to only make them suffer.



In the end, only the potential mother knows what she can and cannot handle. She knows what is best for her mental and physical health. This is not a decision that should be made lightly, nor should it be the first alternative. But it shouldn't be denied to a woman based on a set of beliefs that she might not share with the rest of the population.

Sheri - posted on 04/11/2011

What we might want to happen and what the government should mandate are often different things. In my opinion, what goes on in a woman's own body is her business alone.

Cynthia - posted on 04/11/2011

I agree with you totally Julia. I am wondering why is it that "pro choice" really seems to shout of so much selfishness? It is so much more than your body. I have seen some that suffer tremendously from the guilt of an abortion. I have seen children born with addiction. No it is not pretty...but why encourage abortion rather than encourage help to increase the chances of a possible healthy baby? Why has our society become so selfish...I want what I want and I want it now...does not matter what others say. That is what our society is screaming anymore. It is so sad....that there is NO value for life.

Julia - posted on 04/11/2011

70% of women who are pregnant from a rape keep their babies. In America they have even formed a group and they don't like the anti-life side using them to continue their fight for abortion. They will tell you women need love, support and time to come to terms with what has happened. They also say their babies have been a very healing experience for them. I have read stories from women who have had an abortion after a rape and they have said it is like being raped again. One violent act after another is not healing, taking away the baby won't stop the trauma of being raped you just add more trauma for the woman. Over 80% of women suffer from post abortion stress which includes depression, turning to drugs or drinking to numb the pain, some even try to commit suicide. These are not signs of something that is good for women.
As for your other friend I would tell her to find a pro-life doctor who will help her through her pregnancy, a lot of doctors are to quick to suggest abortion these days as they see it as a easy way out for them. I had a friend go to her doctor the other day because she was pregnant with her second child, her first was 4 months old and the doctor said "You're not going to keep it are you ?" There was nothing wrong with her and she was happy about the pregnancy. My doctor is pro-life and she trains young doctors, she told me these days they are taught to offer abortion first. Very sad for women who are already confused if this is the first thing they are offered, where is the "choice". There are many stories about women who have been pregnant and found out they have cancer, most doctors told them abortion was their only option. This is so not true, you just have to find a doctor who still believes in their oath. Working to save both mother and child.

Cynthia - posted on 04/11/2011

I too am prolife unless it is endangering the mother....for example an ectopic pregnancy. Neither the mother nor the baby will survive that.

Holly - posted on 04/11/2011

I'm 100% pro-life. I would die for my children. It doesn't matter to me if they are born or not. I would pray like hell and take that risk. If your raped well sorry that happened go you but its not the baby's fault. Give it up for adoption. YouTube abortion and watch how its done. Its disgusting and there is absolutely no excuse good enough for me to get it done.

And if I was pregnant and was told it would have a disability I'm sure I would be upset but you know What I'd get over it and love my child no matter What. I couldn't imagine saying oh its going to be slow or crippled I'll just kill it and maybe get lucky with the next one.

Deb - posted on 04/11/2011

I think bringing GOD'S WILL into the equation is not always so helpful.....Ultimately its your body not gods, so its up to YOU to decide whats right for you & your unborn child. I think its commendable for mothers who choose to have a child knowing there is a disability , but that was their choice to have them and then live a life of constantly caring for them, and hoping they have some quality of life. Some people just CANNOT cope doing that for whatever reason....I dont think they should be slammed for their decision. I totally agree with the PRO-SENSE comment. I think until you are in that position yourself is very easy to harshly judge others choices. Goodluck trying to help your friends Keera xo

Lela - posted on 04/11/2011

Laura, you are awesome! You are very right. We are not God and He will take a child if he chooses. We should not "play" God and take lives.

Laura - posted on 04/11/2011

I am Pro life when I was 20 weeks pregnent with my son he was diagnosed with severe hydrocephalus (water on the brain) and I was asked if I wanted to abort him and with no thought at all said no. God got me pregnent with this child and if it is not meant to be God will take this child. It is not my choice I am not God. My son is now 2 years old and even though he is very delayed, he has a feeding tube and can't walk and is not saying words yet we are getting along just fine, with lots of therapy. I could not emagine it any other way.

Lela - posted on 04/11/2011

Jennifer, you are exactly right. I wish people thought more about the life of their child, their own flesh, then just themselves.

Jennifer - posted on 04/11/2011

I have a child diagnosed Autism and I wouldn't trade her for anything. There are no unwanted children, there are only unwanting parents.

Jennifer - posted on 04/11/2011

I agree that all children deserve the opportunity to be born. Sometimes things go badly during pregnancy, I know that personally. One of the sadest things to me is an ectopic pregnancy where the baby, who is likely totally normal, has to be removed surgically because of the tremendous liklihood the mother will die from that pregnancy. However, it has happened a few times that ectopic pregnancies have gone to term so maybe someday we will know how to prevent the death of the child.

Karen - posted on 04/11/2011

We all have our own strong personal feelings ! Have we been through it ! Maybe we should try walking in anothers shoes before we judge or criticise.

Jessi - posted on 04/11/2011

I am pro-life but the exact things you are asking about is when I think abortion is an option. If there is a medical problem that could risk 1 or both lives or if the mother was raped and even then some rape victims do choose to carry out the pregnancy and keep the baby or give them up for adoption.

But I do think if you play the game you should pay the price...I did and personally although my sons father isn't taking care of his responsibilities, I am and don't know what I would do without him!

Jenni - posted on 04/11/2011

@Sarah. I just have to say, I love that!!! Pro-sense. That's a very logical and realistic way of looking at.



I'm surprised no one mentioned the day after pill yet. That is excellent advice to seek medically treatment immediately after a rape. It's so important for women to know that in acting quickly they can prevent the possibility of further trama as a result of the rape.

Sarah - posted on 04/11/2011

I think that maybe we're missing a step in the game. If a woman is raped she should immediately get medical treatment which should include the day after pill. And, No, the day after pill is Not the same thing as the abortion pill. During my work as a rape crisis advocate I saw hundreds of girls & women who were raped and Not One refused the day after pill. As women, it is our duty to be informed of the option available to us and to inform our friends, sisters, etc.

Although I am very pro-choice, I am even more Pro-Sense which, in my book means making informed decisions as early as possible to prevent unwanted pregnancy. That includes using multiple forms of contraception, the day after pill and adoption in cases when that can be done and abortion as a last result.

Venus - posted on 04/11/2011

Your pro-life, I'm pro-choice and both are okay! For me, it is more of a freedom than a choice. My body is my body, there's not one single person on Earth that should tell me what I can and can not do with MY body. It's just that simple for me.

Lela - posted on 04/10/2011

Amanda,
EXACTLY!!!!!!

Lela - posted on 04/10/2011

No baby, fetus, life, should have to suffer death, because of the stupidity of one or both of the parents.

Amanda - posted on 04/10/2011

I am prolife as well without any exceptions. I don't believe it is the child's fault if a mother is raped. I know a woman who was raped and kept her child and he is one of the most amazing people that I have ever met. There is also adoption. All that woman has to do is 9 months and then if she thinks that she will not be a good mother to the child of the person that raped her then there are millions of loving families that would love to have that child. If there is something wrong in utero, God may want a child to come to Him rather than to the parents then that is His decision. The child will not last the pregnancy anyways. This is my opion. Once you have concieved it is not just your body. It is the child's body as well. Who are you to say that this person can not live? You could be killing a future president or the person that cure's cancer. You never know just how special that person might be....Give them a chance to be that person...

Deb - posted on 04/10/2011

I think its up to each individual to decide what is right for them at that time in their life. Things are not always so black and white, and every circumstance is different because every person deals with things differently. Not all kids are so lucky to get adopted out into a good family to have a great life,even healthy ones- is it fair for them to have to struggle through life feeling unwanted to make yourself feel better or is it kinder to abort early and avoid possibly causing a child a life of hardship & sadness ???

Jen - posted on 04/10/2011

A baby growing outside the uterus cannot survive, and the mother will likely die as well, so that needs to be dealt with. Like you, I'm pro-life in most cases. I'm not sure how I feel about it when rape is involved. I just think that danger to the life of the mother is so rare in pregnancy that discussion about it is greatly inflated. Have you ever actually known a woman whose life was at risk because of a normal pregancy? And if you have, did the woman know beforehand that it was unwise for her to become pregnant because of a pre-existing medical condition?

Sonya - posted on 04/10/2011

o yeah and am really sorry to hear bout your friends hope everything works out for them :D

Sonya - posted on 04/10/2011

ok goin to give my opinion. . . i am pro life :D altho i will always try not to force my beliefs on any one. . . but ok when it comes to rape i myself would not kill the baby if i knew i couldnt live with a baby that was giving to me by a horrible man/men i would go for adoption altho i would as to me that baby would always be apart of me, and for medical issues fair enough if you knew for sure YOU were going to die from havin the baby fair enough as there no point you dieing as baby would die too, but as andrea said if doc said there goin be problems with baby jus let it go with the nature of it if the baby wasnt meant to be born then tats the way it will be and least then you will knw you didnt just kill of the baby to make things easier. . and as i said at the begin am jus stating my opinoin and not forcing my beliefs on anyone, o and as for druggies that get preg they should clean up there act even if it is just for the 9 months untill they have the baby i knw it aint easy but there is help out i know from my own experiences altho finding out i was preg done it for me bout hey i always wanted to be a mammy :D its the best thing ever :D

Andrea - posted on 04/10/2011

I'm pro-life. I was given the option of aborting one of my twin boys because one them had many medical problems. I didn't give it a second thought when I said "No way". I told the doctor that if he dies, it won't be because I gave up on him as there was still hope for him. Unfortunately he died at 2 days old. On the plus side, his twin just turned 2.

Keera - posted on 04/10/2011

To the people asking how old the my friends are...the one raped is 18 and the one with the back issue is 26. The one who was raped has to go to a specialist because there are "issues" and they aren't telling her anything. And the other already has 2 kids and thats why she is so worried about going through the pregnancy.

Julianne - posted on 04/10/2011

I believe its wrong to abort.
I also think each woman has the right do decide what to do with her own body even though it may go against my beliefs. After all, they are only my beliefs, not fact or law.
Personally if i were raped then i would keep the child because regardless of conception, the child is still mine. If i had a serious medical problem i would probably get the abortion because i wouldn't want to leave gabby without a mom. If i didnt have her i wouldn't do it.

Alisha - posted on 04/10/2011

I am por life too unless it deals with being raped, or a family member raps you and you. Or if the baby is in the wrong area other then the uterus. It think if we had a to pick to keep the baby or risk my life my husband would want to keep me around. Because we can always try again.

Teresa - posted on 04/09/2011

That's true Johnny.... and why I'm pro-life. :)