Reading to your children

Andrea - posted on 01/27/2011

Our son is the same age. We have been reading to him for around 8 months now. Yes, they will tear the books. Try board books. Get used books, freebies, yard sales, etc., so you won't get upset if he rips or bites the book. We have shelved all the more delicate books to save for when he is older. Read to him just before he goes to sleep when he is calmer. Make it part of the nighttime routine. Try slowly. It is ok if you do not get thru a book. A board book will be shorter and have very colorful pages that will help keep his interest. When we started he was not very attentive but it was all to build the routine. Now he picks out the board book he wants to "read". Try the Susan Boyton board books. They are short and very colorful. Our son picks them over any other author. Be patient and go slow. Let him tug and pull at the book and eventually he will get into the routine. Good Luck! Andrea, mom to Roc.

Krista - posted on 01/27/2011

Amanda, you might want to amend your original post to say at what age you started reading to your child. It seems like a lot of people are overlooking the part where you said you've been trying to read to him for quite some time. (Besides, to some people that might mean months, to others it might mean days.) Hopefully that'll reduce the amount of "you left it too late!" scolding-type posts.

Thanks!
Krista
WTCOM Mod

Kathleen - posted on 01/27/2011

It's never too early to read them a book, as one mom stated. They DO know what they are if you tell them. One thing to do would be to watch what sparks their interest. Maybe he likes trucks, or bears etc. Then focus on that. Or let him look and when he stops at a certain pic tell him what that is over and over. He will come around to say..."hey, mom knows what these things are"

Anne - posted on 01/27/2011

Depends on the child, try only using board books, so he can't rip them easily! my 2.5 year old does not sit still until sleepy, I let him run around and read to the oldest child. Your son might just want attention. Just keep talking to him. Don't worry about it. Finishing a book, may not matter to your boy. Try just reading a page or two and stopping before he rips it out of your hands, he does have a habit, maybe you can help him break it!

Kathleen - posted on 01/27/2011

My 18 month old is the same. Most children will have only a fewe minutes that they will maybe pay attention to you when you read. It's NORMAL. But don't stop eventually he will listen more and more intently to you. :) Read aloud too, he will pick up on repeated words.

Donna - posted on 01/27/2011

All the time. I have been reading to my daughter since she was still in th womb. For a while now she take the book from me and pretends to read to us. She will even take one of her books off the bookshelf, sit and read to herself. Her manual dexterity is still developing so there are a few damaged pages but that will improve with age. It's good development.

Sandra - posted on 01/27/2011

I agree with letting him play while you read. He will probably wander back and forth to see pictures, especially if it's a book that he likes. There was one book that my son loved and we would read and re-read it. Sooner or later he'll be able to sit for storytime but this may not happen for another year. Just keep reading to him and also modeling that reading is important to you too. My son, at 5, will pick up a section of the newspaper and 'read' it. He wants to be like mommy & daddy. His JK teacher just sent home a story for him to read. I read it to him once and then he was able to read it to me. Pretty amazing since I didn't realize he was even at that point in his reading ability. Just keep reading! That's the key. He'll get it.

Lorna Lorraine - posted on 01/27/2011

Children have different personalities and temperament. You want to make reading a fun activity for your young child; therefore, incorporate the reading into an activity that your child enjoys, and you will slowly get him to enjoy reading as well. When he starts to hold the book (even if upside down) and mimic reading, he will actually initiate the activity himself.

Bontle - posted on 01/27/2011

I think 16 months is way too soon, he doesnt understant to him a book is something to play with. give it time, i started reading to my daughter when she was about 3 years and it went very well, she is now 4years and loves books. Good luck

Stephanie - posted on 01/27/2011

Try putting him on your lap. Use board books and let him turn to the next page.

Donya - posted on 01/27/2011

Lol Board books are sooo not indestructible! All of myson's are missing the corners and part of the spines. I'm convinced that one day he'll poo a novel! He brings the books to me when he's ready. I've read to him while he's in the tub and I know he's listening and will actually look up when I pause and turn the pages. It will get better with time.

Ann - posted on 01/27/2011

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies, but I would say take him to the library and take some time to browse the board books with him. Don't try to actually read them, just flip through a few and see which ones catch his eye. Little ones that age often don't have the patience for a story, but a touch feely book they can talk about is likely to catch his attention. Most of all, don't feel guilty - this isn't some horrible lapse that means he'll never enjoy reading. It is an opportunity to discover something fun and new.

Faye - posted on 01/27/2011

I have 3 boys ages 7 1/2, almost 4, & 2 They are all different with reading. First it is okay to start with just looking at pictures with him. Chose things he is interested in. My kids loved books with pictures of trains & trucks. Get ones they can feel and peek under the flaps, exc. Let him see you read too. 2 of my boys loved to read, but only when they wanted to. My middle one did not until age 3. He would only read 1 or 2 specific books (we read everyone poops every day for a year). We have also put into our routine that the kids can pick a couple of books to take into bed with them at night. They are allowed to read for 15 minutes. The all love this, even my previously non reader (and yes them just looking at the pages is okay). You want to foster a love of books & reading, not a hate of it, so don't push.

Sandra - posted on 01/27/2011

I've been reading to my son since he was about two months old. He's five months now and loves to be read to. We're working our way through A A Milne's original Winnie The Pooh books and he laughs every time he sees a picture. I would think that the ripping of books out of your hands is more a symptom of the age than an actual disliking of reading. If he insists on being so damaging to books though, perhaps you should photocopy the books you love so that your copy is 'backed up' or read to him from downloaded books on the internet. You can get many old children's books from Project Gutenbeg which are free domain - not pirated (if that's a no-no for you) or just making up stories and drawing pictures on a small whiteboard or chalkboard.

Alison - posted on 01/27/2011

get him a library ticket (in his name). Let him help you choose some short board books (picture books). Let him choose which book you will read. They should be very short. With lots of pictures. With not many words. Sit him on your lap. Talk about the pictures. Point to things. Be interesting. He is not old enough for paper books yet, because he has to learn to turn the page carefully first. You are not reading at him. You are reading with him. Does your library have toddler sessions? Go along, you can learn best by watching other people do it.

Jana - posted on 01/27/2011

Hey there.. dont give up yet ...16 months is an age where they dont like to sit and listen to long, but what i found helped with both of my boys at that age was getting books that are very interactive, such as touch and feel books, or sound makeing books, it catches there attention alot better ,, out o fall the books the touch and feel books were amazing the kids absolutly loved them and wanted to see what was on the next page so they could touch it such as hourses main on the horse, and straw for a hay bail, they truely are amazing books and keep little ones wanting more ... hope this helps .... goodluck

Amanda - posted on 01/26/2011

Margaret,
Thank you so much. I have noticed a lot of people condemning me, but that is not what I was asking for. Nor did I say that I have not been reading to my child. In fact, I did post a second piece which said that he used to sit and listen. My trouble/concern is what do I do now? I did get a lot of useful feedback. My child does have board books, one of which he did destroy, and interactive books. He does only have one touchy-feely book, which he really likes, but it's also the one he destroyed. He mostly only likes the fur/soft pattern on that one. For all of you that gave helpful advice, thank you. Oh, I have also read to my son from my own books. This worked really well when he was younger, but not as well now. Someone had mentioned that he just likes hearing my voice-maybe that's the problem; as a stay-at-home mom he hears my voice so much throughout the day! :)

Teresa - posted on 01/26/2011

my son is 10 months and is at a big ripping phase, so we put away the paper books for a while and i just stick with board books for now. (or photo albums, he loves to look at pictures of himself and me and his dad, so cute :)
he also really likes the books with different textures (touch and feel books). my son doesnt usually make it through a full book either, and he hates to sit still, so usually i put the book on the floor, and get down there with him and I read it or we just flip the pages.
at this age it is good for him to be exposed to books, interacting with them, develping an interest in them and hearing lots of different examples of language (stories, words, conversations, etc.)
reading a book start to finish isnt the important part, just sharing the experience and making it positve.

Margaret - posted on 01/26/2011

There are many good suggestions here. 16 mo is young to sit and listen to a story but the ideas about board and cloth books, interactive books, telling stories are great. I am disappointed with the comments that say things like "you should have been", "my child was ..." and "we did this and our child is wonderful". These comments can be hurtful. they aren't supportive but instead are critical and boastful.

My kids are grown. I used a lot of the ideas mentioned here. I also would get books about topics that my kids were excited about. I love that the letter writer is working so hard at being a good mom.

Gina - posted on 01/26/2011

my 18 month likes to read so we read alot together .. yea she doesnt let me finish some books but we still read

Jane - posted on 01/26/2011

It sounds to me like you may be reading the wrong type of books to your son. Try the cardboard, hard picture books that can't be ripped and only have a few colorful pages. They used to make small books that were just right for little hands when my girls were young and those were very fun because kids can hold them and turn the pages, which involves them. At 16 mos, your son doesn't care about the story, not word for word anyway. He mostly likes to hear your voice and look at the pictures. His attention span is only about a couple of minutes. You could try making up your own story to the pictures, relating it to you, him, and/or the people/pets in his life. I started reading to my children when they were just a few months old and I truly believe it helped develop their keen minds and long attention spans.

Christine - posted on 01/26/2011

Any communicating you do with your child will be similar to reading. And you could read an adult book or something else you like because just hearing words and you talking is helping cognitive and literary skills. I would have board books in his toy box that he can take out and look at even if for seconds. Mem Fox is a leading educator in the country and she has a lot of books on what and how is best to read to children. Pick up her book, Reading Magic. It is great! You are doing just fine though. It is NEVER too late to read to your child. Children at this age are very active and sitting listening to books doesn't happen.

Beth - posted on 01/26/2011

He's just too busy to slow down, and he'd rather you play with him. Don't give up, and choose times when he's a bit tired. I also read to my almost 3 year old when he's in the high chair/eating and in the bath tub. Try that and you'll have his attention plus he can't rip the books out of your hands. Lastly, let him know it's not okay to rip pages or take things from people's hands.

Beth - posted on 01/26/2011

I have that problem but my daughter is only eight months, we will see how she is at that age.....

Kerrie - posted on 01/26/2011

Interactive (sensory and big colorful pics) and peek a boo books are great for toddlers, but, like everyone else says, he is listening whenever you are talking, even if you don't think he is... good luck!

Brittany - posted on 01/26/2011

I found that shorter books help as well as board books. I don't force my daughter to still while I read aloud to her. She is often off playing while I read. I've noticed that she gets board with some books faster than others. I found a used bookstore in my area that had board books for $2 and she seems to like those the best. They have at most 3 words per page and are bright and full of animals (which she loves).

Olga - posted on 01/26/2011

I started with the Thats not my . . . . books - they were great for Ellie. I started reading to her every day a few times from the time she was 2 weeks old. Eventually we lenghthed the time of the story time. She is 18 months old now and sits through whole books. Sometimes we start a book and she loses interest and we start another, sometimes we read the same book over and over again ( like last night, my little ladybug was read 11 times!) but for the most part she will sit with me and listen to stories for about 30 minutes every night before bed. I put out a stack of books and she chooses what she wants to hear. It is great that she has started talking now and finishes sentences or shouts out the character names.

Sandy - posted on 01/26/2011

Find something he's interested in, and let him play with the books and look at them, talk about what is happening in pictures, you don't necessarily have to "read" the book to him. Someone said you may have started too late, so him go back to playing with books like we let infants do. My son has always loved books, but he only really gets into them if it's something interesting to him. He prefers non fictions (trucks, cars, dinosaurs, animals) to story books. Take him to the library, and let him pick out books or take him to the books store. Let him become comfortable around books, and he'll begin to want to listen to the stories. If you take him to the library, talk to the librarians and ask them other ways you can help him with reading skills. What you want him to learn is the proper orientation of a book (up right with the cover forward), letter and work recognition (not reading, but understanding that the letters make up words, I believe they also call this print motivation). Take him to story times at the libraries, my children love this, they read, but they also dance and sing. Good Luck! There really is a lot a child should learn at home to make learning to read a ton easier. My husband is a reading interventionist so luckily he has little things that are second nature to him that he does when reading with them. (Although this does get annoying when I am reading an alphabet book to my child and he's criticizing their choice of words to use with the letter:)

Holly - posted on 01/26/2011

You need shorter books to start off. Simple picture books works well. Flip the flap and hide and seek books are interactive and interesting to little ones. Don't expect little ones to sit through long books.

Holly - posted on 01/26/2011

You need shorter books to start off. Simple picture books works well. Flip the flap and hide and seek books are interactive and interesting to little ones. Don't expect little ones to sit through long books.

Becky - posted on 01/26/2011

Oh my goodness Amanda! Read, read, READ to your child. It is such a wonderful feeling when they finally take the book from you and read to YOU. Mine had their favorite stories and I read them over and over and over again. -- Have you tried starting with big thick picture books or the 'pop up' stories? When reading (or trying to read) do you make silly noises and sounds the child can identify with? Many times being silly and getting them to laugh will get them more interested. Doesn't really matter if you follow the story at first, just do what you can to get interest. You'll see, it'll happen.

Jennifer - posted on 01/26/2011

We literally started reading to our children in the hospital. The hospital has a "Read to Me!" program that offers a complimentary bag of books, CD's and a monthly calender introducing a new book each month for that age. Now our 23 month old hands US the books to read!

Elaine - posted on 01/26/2011

Picture books are best, especially those with thick cardboard pages!

Trish - posted on 01/26/2011

My son is 1yo I have been reading to him for a couple of months now and he does the same thing... I bought him some of his own books the ones with cardboard pages so he can't rip them and I don't let him get a hold of the paper one's until he is old enough to be nice...any way it's never to early to read to them he may not listen but he will learn what a book is and how you turn the pages and the colors...my son like i said is 1 and because of me reading to him if he is in his room playing he will hide behind his rocker with his pal monkey and read to him. it is the cutest darn thing...so do not get discouraged he knows what a book is an the story, kids just like to destroy calmness at all cost ha

Teresa - posted on 01/26/2011

Hi Amanda! My son grabs books from me too from time to time whenever I read to him but he does it because he wants to hold the book himself, flip through it's pages and "read." He has learned to love books and reading very much because I have read to him since he was a baby. We let him play with books even as an infant. We looked at them together and sometimes he chewed on them. He also didn't sit on my lap the whole time when I read to him until now that he's already 27 months old. But this did not mean he was not interested in what I was reading. Toddlers especially active ones like my son simply can't sit still very long even when the story in the book is short. I discovered that he was listening even as he played with other toys and as he walked around because when I ask him about the story that I read, he is able to answer and he knows what happened. By doing this, my son started reading some words beginning on his 2nd birthday. Since last October, he has read around 15 words including his name GIAN and JESUS. I just make reading a regular activity everyday -- morning, noon and at bedtime. It also helped that my husband and I read a lot and he sees us doing that often.

Judy - posted on 01/26/2011

You are on the right track wanting to read to him. However, as a Reading Tutor, one of the 1st things we teach the children is 'how' to read a book--front to back, left to right. Also, at this age, getting him excited about books is as important as the actual words on the page. Let him look at the pages freely and identify with it. Even counting books do not need to be read in order. Notice what is on the page. Board books are much more age-appropriate than paper books. Enjoy your baby and enjoy the books.

Melissa - posted on 01/26/2011

Definitely go with board books at 16 mos. They are sturdy for a reason. Get some that are more interactive and maybe ask him to show you different colors or shapes or tell him what they are. If you make it more interactive, it may be more likely to hold his attention. If books aren't working, try to start by telling a story together that you make up yourselves. Good luck!!!!

Jenny - posted on 01/26/2011

I've ALWAYS read to my daughter, from the time I was pregnant. She'll sit through a full story and I think a lot of that has to do with giving her choices. My husband and I each read her a book at bed time (sometimes now only one depending on lengh) but she gets to pick which book. Also, when she was a little younger (she'll be two next week), if she wasn't interested in listening to the story we would just talk about the pictures.
If you are having problems with pages getting torn look for board books designed for the littlest hands.
Good luck and be sure to involve your son in the decision making as to what books are bought/checked out of the library/read.

Joan - posted on 01/26/2011

I read to my daughter from when she was in the womb (I know sounds silly) at bedtime and whenever we were having a cuddle the fun thing is it doesn't have to be a book if you are reading the newspaper or a leaflet read it gently to him. My daughter is now 9 years old and loves books she gets most upset when the library is closed and she can't get new books. Read to him on the bus or in the car it can be anything at all street names, directions even if you are in a cafe or restuarant read the menu to him its surprising what they actually pay attention to . I have a picture of my daughter when she is about 7 months old looking at a menu and you would think she was reading it lol. Another hint is to buy books from second hand shops so they don't cost a lot so if he does rip them it doesn't matter to much! Still tell him off but don't make a fuss over it he will only come to hate them then! Hope you find this helpful.

Donna - posted on 01/26/2011

Hi, I had this all the time :) so I just let him look through books himself and have easy access to all the sturdy ones. My boy is now just over 2 and he will now sit through a whole book, LOVES the Gruffalo, it may have something to do with all the voices I put on haha, but its now a pleasure to have story time before bed. My advice would be to just leave it to short/part stories for another few months. just pick simple books with lots of bright pictures and chat to him about the colour/name of things. In a couple of months you will be creating voices to characters like it was something you did all the time, lol. Enjoy. Hope this helps a little :) My son has had books for so long he will happily grab a book and pretend to read before he grabs a car. Because he know he can.

Becky - posted on 01/26/2011

I have read to my son every since I was pregnant with him. He will be 6yrs old in April and I read him at least 10 books every night at bedtime. I feel that it is very important that we read to them, explain what we are reading and choose a wide variety of things to read. My son is very smart and starting to read to me and loves our storytime every night.

Kevin - posted on 01/26/2011

Yes, my daughter does the same thing. She even had some books that were "rip proof" but she quickly proved them wrong haha. the whole point to reading to your kids as I see it is this. Your spending time focused with them, and only them as you are concentrated on the material and the child listening. This is awesome quality time, and will teach him or her that mommy or daddy loves them enough to spend some time ..just the two of us... and have fun.

Michele - posted on 01/26/2011

I like the ideas from the other parents. I have tried audio books and my children love them and actually request for them now. They can read along with audiobooks now. When they were young I put on the audiobooks as they were running around and playing. I never thought they were listening at first but stayed the course. They would ask me questions about the stories later on and then I knew they were listening. Children take in far more than they can project.
I agree with the other parents in not making it forced. Children can grow to hate reading and look at it as something they have to do instead of something they enjoy doing when it is forced upon them early on.
Don't stress, it does get better as their attention spans grow. A strong hard page book is the best for your child's age now. Let him explore books by holding them and grabbing them, even if it looks violent now. If it is a strong book it will stand the test of time. Try the audio - I think you find sanity in sharing this experience with your child. Good luck..

Kylie - posted on 01/26/2011

i have always read to my son, from the time he was born. when he tried to be rough with his books i always corrected this and now he is 2, he sleeps next to his book shelf, and will often pull books out to "read" when he wakes up from his nap before he calls me, and has never meant to rip or break a book. plus he doesn't really have to look at a book to be hearing it, having it open and reading out loud while he is doing something else can work, and if he wants to come and sit and look encourage him to be gentle with the books.

Heather - posted on 01/26/2011

i read to my twin girls after meals while they're in their high chairs. try board books with songs or rhymes too.

Antrina - posted on 01/26/2011

I read that the reason they eat them may be due to a lack of iron - so I give her 0.5 ml every few days and it has seemed to help...

Jessica - posted on 01/26/2011

they are babies, it gets better when they are older. just keep trying! the not sitting still and eating the book is normal. it doesn't last forever.

Antrina - posted on 01/26/2011

Same with me and Belle, she seems so uninterested! Makes it quite frustrating! At times she would rather eat the book!

Candace - posted on 01/26/2011

Get books on tapes or CD's from your local library. That way, even if he is being busy, he can still listen without destroying the book to get your attention. DO NOT allow him to destroy the books, or be disrespectful to them. I read to my daughter in utero. It's NEVER too early.

Melissa - posted on 01/26/2011

My suggestion (as a mother and as an elementary special ed. teacher) is to continue reading to him. Expose him to books or anything with print, but don't force him to sit through an entire book if he can't handle it. You can also skip the text if he can't handle it and just talk about the pictures (point and label) or make up your own story. A 16 month old's attention span is not very long!! Be patient with him. :) At 16 months, my son couldn't sit still for stories. Now, at 20 months, he sits through multiple stories and points to the words as I read (not necessarily the words I'm saying, but he understands that I am reading from left to right!). Stick with it, and cut both he and yourself some slack! :)