really worried bout giving birth any tips to help me plz

Brandy - posted on 03/05/2009

Don't worry. What goes in must come out one way or another. Just try to stay calm. The thing about birth is that it doesn't last forever. Good luck.

Heather - posted on 03/05/2009

This is going to sound plain gross, and no one will ever tell you this, but here it is.



When they tell you to push, push way down like you're having the biggest poop. That's exactly it. I know it sounds bad, but it works like a charm.



I had two babies with the help of midwives, and two great homebirths. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but it made me so much calmer. (I'm terrified of hospitals)...my second child was three pushes, that's it....no stitches, no tearing, voila!



Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 03/05/2009

I too was intent on a natural birth and that's what I had. I spent my pregnancy preparing for that, mentally and otherwise. Continued with my fitness routine and yoga - though I switched to pre-natal. Breath and visualization were huge tools for me. Took a childbirth prep class. Had the most amazing doulas and an incredibly supportive husband who was a convert from wanting me to have drugs to knowing that I could do it naturally. Water helps a lot whether you are in and out of the shower or can be in a tub. Move. Find any position that helps. Educate yourself. The birth stories in Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth helped the most but I read many others. Know that childbirth is completely natural and that your body is designed to give birth. Trust that fact and know that women have been giving birth from the beginning of time...without interventions and without doctors. But whatever path you choose educate yourself so that you are a participant in determining the outcome for you and your baby. It is an incredibly intense experience but one that helps prepare you for the intensity that is parenthood. I draw on that strength often. One of my doulas shared this quote with me - "We have a secret in our culture and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." All the best to you.

Miranda - posted on 03/05/2009

I have a almost 7 month old.  I guess I was nervous but I was so excited!!  I Had an all natural delivery.  I did the water birth with no epideral.  I didn't take any classes except the water birth class.  The only thing that I did was read a few books.  My biggest thing to tell you is to just remember to breath.  I really thought the contractions hurt more then actually having her!!  What I have been told from people who have had the epidural they find themselves really tired after have the baby...I wasn't at all tired.  I was so excited that the baby was here so I was basically awake for probably 36 hours!!   I didn't want the epidural...I went in knowing that it was going to hurt like hell and when I was done I was ready for more.  Just relax and breath is the biggest thing!!!  Then after you have the baby make sure that you do relax and sit on a pillow you will heal faster and be a lot more comfortable.  It is hard to just sit back and do nothing but you are going to want to do that!!!  Good Luck with everything!!!!!

Kylie - posted on 03/05/2009

My advice is: Epidural!.. Its really scary when you read the birth books and see the pictures..but trust me you will do it and you will surprise yourself.  Oh yeah and make sure the doc who does the stitches (if that happens) cares and take their time and does a great job, saves a lot of pain and discomfort later. Good luck !

Mary - posted on 03/05/2009

I was way worried as well...I didn't think I could do it and I was scared something would go wrong.  I did get and epidural and let me tell you I am gonna get one everytime I have a baby (we plan on having 3)  I was able to relax and get some rest so that when it was time to push I was relaxed and ready to go.  I also had a doctor that made me feel at ease and the nurses were nice.  Jamie stayed with me the whole time as well...I felt alot better with him there beside me. 

Good luck hunny you will be fine you will see.....Just remember to breath and relax the doctors and nurses will take care of you no matter what. Oh and as soon as your little one is out you forget all about everything else trust me.

Lacy - posted on 03/05/2009

I was completely freaked out too!! My family has a history of short labors so I was sure that I would follow in their footsteps, and thought that I could get through it if it wasn't too long. I was pretty sure that I didn't want an epidural too, but thought I would just be open to the idea. Well, things have a way of going their own course because after 12-14 hours and little progress, I decided to have the epidural. I HATE needles, but I have to say that the epidural didn't hurt at all! It helped me get through the next 12 hours of labor. After about 30 hours, I ended up having a C Section. When they told me I was going to have a C Section, it was my worst nightmare, but I have to say that it wasn't bad. I was just happy to be done and see my son! Trust me, if someone had told me that I would have gone through all that, I wouldn't have believed them. I made the exerience much worse in my head beforehand...only to find that it really wasn't that bad. I know telling you not to worry doesn't help, but just know that you will be fine, and don't listen to all of the horror stories b/c everyone is different!!! You will do great! It is amazing how fast time goes when you are going through it!!

Krystal - posted on 03/03/2009

I was soo freaked out to give birth to my son... When i started to get contractions I was soo excited *they didnt hurt at first, then when they bagan to be painful, i just kept in mind that .. today i'm having a baby, i'm going to be able to see my baby boy.. i was soo excited.. you just have to be brave and know that the end result is worth all the pain. I didn't get any pain meds at all.. I wanted an epi. but to be honest, i forgot to ask.. lol sounds stupid huh? But i really forgot that i had the option to do so.. But, i only pushed for 20 min and he was here!.. and ps. it feels really really good when you are pushing and when he comes out, it's just the contractions that hurt.. lol

Rachel - posted on 03/03/2009

i agree with  many of the mums on here i have a 2 year old and im due to have my second child in 4 weeks i only had gas and air with my first child i watched birthing programmes on telly when i was pregnant the first time like many of the ladies have said oh yes it hurts but when u see ur baby for the first time u will forget everything, my theory is if it is really that bad would women have more children?? you will forget all the pain when u see ur baby just dont worry and enjoy your pregnancy and the time u have to ur self right now and if u have any question ask ur midwife she can tell u everything u need to know

Jenn - posted on 03/03/2009

Our doctor was great! My husband had his laptop playing our favorite music while I was giving birth. And we were all talking about the super bowl commercials...not your typical birthing experience, but it was amazing! It was a tough job but I knew with the support of my husband, I would make it through it! I suggest you have in your room, what makes you most comfortable. Best of luck! : )

Anna - posted on 03/03/2009

I also forgot to mention how you should research how medications etc. affect your baby and mess w/ your bonding experiences. and you should READ READ READ!

Anna - posted on 03/03/2009

I think the way labor and birth represented so badly. I would recommend you see the documentary "The business of being born" by Ricci Lake (sp?) very good, informative etc. It also depends on what kind of labor/birth you want. Do you want Natural or medicated? C-section? personally i prefer as natural as possible. answer that question for yourself. I recommend getting a doula (a labor coach) someone to be w/ you throughout your labor/birth and this person will support you and help you make decisions and answer questions. I also recommend (if you want a natural birth) switching over to a mid-wife. They are less strict about how you labor etc. where as an OB/GYN puts many time limits on you. and gives interventions when not necessary (to speed up labor which cause complications, leading to c-sections or worse).

If you have any questions plz feel free to email me.

I had an all natural birth w/ my 2nd child. No meds, labored at home (which permits you to eat/drink-where the hospital will not), admitted to hospital when i was 8.5 centimeters. having a doula and midwife was also helpful to achieve my goals.

Good luck!

Karla - posted on 03/03/2009

Hi Katie... I had my first when I was 17 years old. I read everything I could find and asked my maternity providers and friends who'd been there every stupid question you could think of. But in the end it came down to the fact that the baby was going to come out one way or another so there was no point worrying about it. He was induced with epidural and it was perfect as I had felt no contractions. My second was overseas, again with an epidural they inserted too late, so I felt everything for the first time. Sore? Most definately! But the labour pain was such an insignificant detail at the end of it, in comparison to having my new baby girl in my life. The last two I did au natural with no medication, mainly because I didn't enjoy the sluggishness I felt after the epidural previously and I just wanted to hold my babies and remember every second from the moment they came. Every birth is different and no-one can predict what will happen wih yours. Best thing is to ask the dumb questions and accept the journey as it is because the destination is gonna be sweet! Good luck doll!

Karla - posted on 03/03/2009

Hi Katie... I had my first when I was 17 years old. I read everything I could find and asked my maternity providers and friends who'd been there every stupid question you could think of. But in the end it came down to the fact that the baby was going to come out one way or another so there was no point worrying about it. He was induced with epidural and it was perfect as I had felt no contractions. My second was overseas, again with an epidural they inserted too late, so I felt everything for the first time. Sore? Most definately! But the labour pain was such an insignificant detail at the end of it, in comparison to having my new baby girl in my life. The last two I did au natural with no medication, mainly because I didn't enjoy the sluggishness I felt after the epidural previously and I just wanted to hold my babies and remember every second from the moment they came. Every birth is different and no-one can predict what will happen wih yours. Best thing is to ask the dumb questions and accept the journey as it is because the destination is gonna be sweet! Good luck doll!

Annabel - posted on 03/03/2009

I thought it was going to be the worst thing ever, because that's what all the books and your friends tell you. But it wasn't the final pushing phase the pain miraculously disappears and a pushing urge takes over which doesn't hurt. I had my baby at home and in that final stage they told me they could see the head. I thought they ment if they looked up, but they told me to look and there her head was half out. AND I HAD NO PAIN. I couldn't believe it another few contractions and she was out. Rule of tumb is this Pain is caused by anxiety and fear (tension= fear=pain) being able to feel relaxed and calm, even enjoying it as the best moment ever allows your body to do it's own natural thing...birth your baby. Enjoy it, I've had worse days at work than going through labour.

Elaine - posted on 03/03/2009

I gave birth to my first 10 months ago. I was in the shower for a bit they had two shower heads one on my back and one on my stomach. It was so soothing, hardly felt the contractions. The gas made me feel sick. Later I got out and gave birth laying on my back on the bed. It was uncomfortable and difficult next time Im staying in the shower for the entire time. I also had my mum and my partner in the room. My mum gave me water and my partner gave me massages and watched the birth... Sorry men but I woman needs her mother!!

Kelly - posted on 03/02/2009

I think everyone is scared. It's fear of the unknown the first time and subsequent times it's fear of the KNOWN!!

I just reckon that women have been having babies for centuries and the body is mostly an automatic model. How lucky are we these days that we have hospitals, midwives, specialty Doctors and drugs. Just BE and don't forget your breathing techniques. I thought my first birth would be so much more painful than it actually was. I had it trumped up so much in my head, I was pleasantly surprised. I was able to have 3 births entirely without drugs ( not that I didn't ask for them ) and I never thought I would have been able to do that. You also get something at the end. It's not just pain for pains sake. You get a beautiful baby.

All the best,

Kelly

Carielle - posted on 03/02/2009

I was very scared too!  I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle the pain.  They started me on Stadol, which only made my vision blurry for a few minutes and when they were about to give me the epidural the nurse checked me again and said it was too late for that, it was time to push.  It was only three pushes later and my beautiful little girl was here.  I know it's different for everyone but I have to say it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.  When they said there wasn't time for the epidural, I got really scared but then she came so fast that it really didn't seem so bad.  I healed quickly and was up and around shortly after she was born.  Good luck to you.  It's normal to be scared but just know that no matter how your child enters this world, it's all worth it!

Krystal - posted on 03/02/2009

Congrats! I was so scared to about labor and delivery. I had a natural delivery and it was good. The best advice i can give you is to just listen to your body! My Daughter is now 6 months old and i dont even remember the pain, just the joy of meeting my baby girl.
Goodluck!!

Karlie - posted on 03/02/2009

i freaked out to!!! my advice is to go with the flow no matter how prepared you are it can change. i had a birth plan and it went out the window when i had to be induced and be monitored the whole time. i had planned to go natural if i could but i ended up having an epidural. i highly recomend having one thay are ausome. just remember no one will give you a medal for going natural!!!

Lelia - posted on 03/02/2009

dont worry its a piece of cake !! take the meds they offer . i had one daughter with out the meds very very painful and the other with the meds and i slept through everything until the nurse woke me up tellin me to push ! even if u have to have a c section which isnt so bad my cousin had one and she was on the meds so she didnt feel anything anyhow. i would go for the meds though but it always ur choice ! Good Luck

Jacy - posted on 03/02/2009

dont be scared. i had my daughter when i was 21. i signed up for a birthing class with my husband. its 6 weeks long (well the one i took was) and its very informational. they show you many techniques to relax and also show you how to do it with out meds if thats your choice. there was like 30 couples in my class and i was the youngest and the only one not fearfull to give birth. a great website to look at is babycenter.com. i dont know how far along you are but i would really suggest a birthing class if you have time. good luck!

Annette - posted on 03/02/2009

I can only tell you that giving birth is excrutiating!!! Now, having said something that will make you want to curse me let me tell you that it is the most rewarding experience of your life. As bad as labor is you will forget every second of the agony the moment you see your child. Believe me I know, I had four children in four years and would not change one second of my crazy long labors!!!! You will do great, enjoy every second of pregnancy, labor and motherhood!!!

Kimberly - posted on 03/02/2009

Just remember our bodies were made to do this, it is a natural thing. RELAX and focus on the precious outcome. The birth is temporary, the baby is forever, try to focus on the long term. Also look into a Doula if you would like that extra support int he birthing room. Have fun!

Nicole - posted on 03/02/2009

My favorite piece of advice was to take along an exercise or birthing ball. Sitting on it during contractions was WAY better than walking or trying to sit/lay on the bed! Also, since I hadn't fully dilated they gave me an ambien at around 4 cm / 9pm so I could sleep--that was awful. Just enough to make me groggy, and then I didn't handle the contractions as well because I was half asleep. It was much easier once that wore off.

Stephanie - posted on 03/02/2009

I was nervous about giving birth too. I was planning a homebirth with no drugs whatsoever. As the labor started, it wasnt as bad but the progression was pretty intense. The thing is, the moment you are given the OK to push, it is the most incredile RELIEVING feeling ever!!!! I ended up being in active labor for 3 days before finally pushing, and the way i think about it now, i would do it all over again in a minute, with no drugs. The actual birthing part is pretty incredible too. Really intense but once the babes head comes out and then the body....oh man. So beautiful.

In my opnion, just dont worry! It makes it seem much worse than it actually is.

Audra - posted on 03/02/2009

Buy the book "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" by Susan McCutcheon and practice, practice, practice! I had a home birth using the Bradley method & had an awesome experience! Being able to relax and let your body do its job is the most important thing. When you tense up, it just intensifies the pain. Learn to relax and get in "the zone." Hope this helps!

Shelly - posted on 03/02/2009

Katie,

  The best advice I can give you is keep your eyes open when the hard labor starts if you keep your eyes shut all you will focus on is the pain.  It's amazing how well it works!!!  Thats how I made it through my 3rd delivery with out pain meds...Good Luck PS When are you do???

Teri-Lyn - posted on 03/02/2009

the epidural is awesome, it made it so much easier, n biggest tip, relax. i didnt beleive ppl when they said its a pain soon forgotten, n yes it hurts, but its all worth it. ull do fine :)

Michelle - posted on 03/02/2009

yep, i'm with lacrecia! i am also (well, almost!) a mum of 7, and you know towards the end of every pregnancy i always find myself getting a little nervous...but once it starts, i just kind of switch and suddenly i know what i am doing. my first and last labours were the best! with my first, i didn't want any pain relief because i had listened to some horror stories and thought nah, i'm gonna be here for hours and hours, don't want pain relief too early and by the time it all started getting really full on, i was pushing (had a mirror at the end of the bed) and my darling baby girl arrived.....people can tell you a million things but at the end of the day, its going to be your labour....with as many kids as i have, i always joke and say labour is the closest i'm ever going to get to a meditative state! you may find that you just kind of zone out...let that happen, just focus on what your body is doing and remember to stay excited...there is nothing in the world that comes close to feeling that baby you have spent so much time just dying to meet sliding out of your body and suddenly....its there. it absolutely hurts, mate...but every contraction is one closer...you can do this...just try not to get overwhelmed by it all and use your breathing to control the pain....don't let it control you....the harder the pain, the deeper you breathe....and count your way through each contraction if it helps...but you know what? that all sounds great but hey, if it all goes to crap and you need to have a ceaserean, your body has still produced a beautiful bubby...how it gets here is really neither here nor there....good luck and trust yourself...you may find once it starts you know exactly what you are doing!

Sarita - posted on 03/02/2009

once it starts you forget about everything but that baby, your mind zeros in on the prize. Don't worry everything will be ok Good luck

Lacrecia - posted on 03/02/2009

Katie,

Congratulations on your near finished journey of carrying your little one into the Earth..I am , by no means an expert, but I have had 7, count em seven children and am thrity five. I opted to have natural childbirth without epidurals , but that was MY Birth Plan. During this time, take some moments to meditate and envision how you would like your birth plan to go, then let go and let GOD. As we all know, everything doesn't go as planned, but havaing a plan can be helfpul. While you are in labor or proceeding towards labor, it is important to remember that your body is doing what it needs to do, to get your sweet angel here. Also remember that women have been birthing babies for over 2,000 years and you will be adding to that number. Go with your body, if you want to scream, scream,. if you want to grunt, grunt, if you want quiet, silence the talkers...I wish you many happy memories now and forever....Mom of seven

Lacrecia - posted on 03/02/2009

Katie,

Congratulations on your near finished journey of carrying your little one into the Earth..I am , by no means an expert, but I have had 7, count em seven children and am thrity five. I opted to have natural childbirth without epidurals , but that was MY Birth Plan. During this time, take some moments to meditate and envision how you would like your birth plan to go, then let go and let GOD. As we all know, everything doesn't go as planned, but havaing a plan can be helfpul. While you are in labor or proceeding towards labor, it is important to remember that your body is doing what it needs to do, to get your sweet angel here. Also remember that women have been birthing babies for over 2,000 years and you will be adding to that number. Go with your body, if you want to scream, scream,. if you want to grunt, grunt, if you want quiet, silence the talkers...I wish you many happy memories now and forever....Mom of seven

Kate CP - posted on 03/02/2009

Quoting Michele:

Don't listen to anyone's horror stories and stay away from any Discovery Health or TLC shows about labor and delivery.

Oh, thank you for saying that! Those shows do nothing but scare the crap out of women.

Katie, it's natural and normal to be scared. Just remember: women have been doing this for thousands of years. Your body will know what to do and just go with it. If you feel like you need to get up and walk around then do it. If you think that labor would go easier with you standing on your head then have some one hold your feet! Have a good coach and do research on all the different ways to give birth and see which one appeals most for you. 

I had a natural child birth-no epidural (although I had to have pitocin to restart contractions after they had stopped over night) and I didn't go to any child birthing classes, either. You will know what to do when the time comes. You'll be fine. Congrats and good luck. :)

N - posted on 03/02/2009

Best advice I got on the subject:  When they tell you that you can push.....push as hard as you can!  The harder you push, the sooner the pushing part will be all over.

Rebecca - posted on 03/02/2009

I just had my first child. She is now a month old. I had an epidural. I heard horror stories about them but Im glad I did.I felt the actual labor but the epidural stopped me from feeling my contractions. Which was the worst part for me anyways. The only thing I wish someone had warned me about is peeing afterwards. It really burns. My advise would be to buy a sitz bath  and some Tucks pads for after. Another thing I heard about was an exercise taking your finger and putting pressure toward your perinium to sorta stretch it. for like a week before due date to prevent tearing. I laughed and thought yeah right but did it anyways. I did tear a bit but it was so minor that I didnt need stitches. The best way I can think to describe the labor is feeling like I had to poop. Hope this helps. Goodluck and Congratulations.

Heather - posted on 03/02/2009

You'll be surprised how much you do know once you're in the moment...I was nervous too, but once everything started happening...I was a pro!  lol  Just try to be calm...and relaxed...thats the biggest thing, because if you are too tense things progress slightly slower.  And don't feel bad if you feel like you need something to help with the pain.  My husband and I spent my whole pregnancy with this huge plan that I was going to do everything natural...but I decided to get an epidural once I was at 4 1/2 centimeters and I was fully dilated 15 minutes later.

P.S. If you have a birthing ball...take it with you!!!  It really helped me during transition  :)

Good Luck...and congrats!!

Malinda - posted on 03/02/2009

I second the recommendation of a Doula if you can. We plan to have one for this birth and I really think it would have helped a lot with our first child. It is absolutely true that no two birth experiences are identical, but having an educated birth coach (Doula) as your advocate will help keep your mind off of everybody and everything else and focus on what *you* need to do.



Good Luck and Congratulations!!

Amie - posted on 03/02/2009

I agree with Michele Matthews. I was an opposite of all these mom's apparently though. LOL! I wasn't worried or scared. My prenatal class teacher told me I was the calmest woman she'd ever met. But then I had the attitude of too late to turn back now. haha. Keep an open mind though even with all the options. No birth is exactly the same. I have 3 kids, and one more due in 3 1/2 weeks now. yay! Everyone has different opinions too. My mom thinks I'm nuts for wanting a fast labor, it's harder on your body she goes. Pfftt her shortest labor was my brother and that was 12 hours. Mine was my youngest at 7 hours and the hospital was so busy and she came a lot quicker than expected I didn't get the drugs I got with the 1st to. Yes it was painful but the pain quickly fades and you get to hold your baby. =) You might not forget it though like I've heard other women say. I didn't but it's worth it to me. When you start too don't panic, there will be lots of people around who gone through it thousands of times so if you do end up forgetting anything they'll be there to help. No question or concern is a stupid one! They'll understand.

Kami - posted on 03/02/2009

First of all congrats on your pregnancy! For both of my babies I took a pre-natal yoga class which helped tons with my breathing (very important to control pain) and it helped me be more limber in delivering. Less pain, less complications in baby getting stuck etc.

Good luck and enjoy your little one!

Michele - posted on 03/02/2009

Don't listen to anyone's horror stories and stay away from any Discovery Health or TLC shows about labor and deliver. No two deliveries are the same, so there's no telling what you'll go through. Just know that whatever happens, you'll have an adorable little miracle that will make everything you just went through completely obsolete! The idea of giving birth is very scary, but your instincts will kick in at the right time and you'll do what you gotta do :) Best of luck!

Amie - posted on 03/02/2009

I hope you know you are 100% normal for being scared to give birth. Every women is different. Try to enjoy the last little bit of time left. I thought of it as millions of women have done this before me and millions will do it after me. I'm not going to give advice on this, I'm just going to tell you what I did.



I ended up at the hospital when I was 4 cent. I know I wanted the epidural, For me it was the best thing I could have done for myself. The reason why is because They put me on a push botten one. I didn't sleep for 2 days before hand I was so tired. the epidural let me sleep so peaceful for the 1st 4 hours that I got to regain some of strengh to be about to push with all I had. I pushed for 2 hours. I stopped taking the epidural right before I started pushing, so after about an hour I could feel everything, not all the pain, but I know when I had to push, I could feel her coming out, don't get me wrong it still hurt, but it was a good pain. I didn't want to pull my hair out and I was screaming. For me it was perfect. If i have another baby, I will do the same thing again, I got to enjoy giving birth rather then feel all the pain, I only felt about 50% of it. also, I pushed for a while on my back, then they gave me the bar. I LOVED THE BAR. lol. it did hurt a little more but it went so much faster for me with the bar. I've already told my husband, if we have another one, i want the bar right away. Do yo know if you plan on an epidural or natural? Either way, what ever you decided will be the best choice for you. I hated being prego's, but man oh man, I tell everyone I would give birth every month if I could. I loved it. But i think it was because of the way I did the epidural.

Sara - posted on 03/02/2009

I was super nervous about giving birth, but it was not as bad as i had made it out to be in my mind! Just remember that you need to focus. When it comes time to push, try to remember how you push when you go #2, because that is exactly what you need to do. This will come in handy especially if you have an epidural. But, when it does come time to push your body just kind of takes over. It's more like you are helping it. You feel the urge to push and you just do it! It'll go great! Try not to preoccupy yourself so much with it and just enjoy your last few days/weeks of pregnancy and sleep! Good luck!

Kristen - posted on 03/02/2009

I was scared too when I had my little one a month ago.. I was induced (took 14 hours because Connor's head was sideways in the birth canal). I did it and without an epidural or any other pain meds (which was surprising cause I am a huge wimp). If your scared just ask lots of questions, thats what I did. Also if you are having back labor or any real noticable back pain try kneeling and have the bed propped up so you can lean over with your head on your hands. It helps alot to relieve the pain. Just remember the nurses are there to support you in any way they can so don't be afraid to bother them.

Crystal - posted on 03/02/2009

I was scared too. My birthday classes really helped me, and breathing kept me calm. As well, I found the nicer I was too my nurses, even through to pain, the more attentive they were to me. Inform yourself, I read all kinds of books, joined groups on the web and watched... a baby story on TLC :). Through the fear remember that you will be meeting your beautiful baby soon... think of his/her precious little toes and mouth and ears (I love nw babies)... the end result hopefully will help you relax, a little. Heres hoping you a happy and healthy birth!

Barbara - posted on 03/02/2009

Here's a website that can help you find a doula if you are curious.

www.dona.org

Hope this helps you!

Barbara - posted on 03/02/2009

Hire a BIRTH DOULA!  They will help you soooo much during the birth!!  They know all the tricks for dealing with the pain, and helping your partner and you to achieve the birth you want.  You won't regret it!

Brenda - posted on 03/02/2009

It is scary the first time around.  I had a less than ideal birth when I had really hoped for a non medicated natural birth.  My advice to you is to stay very flexible.  If you make a birth plan, make sure you go in understanding that sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to (mine sure didn't!).  I still had a wonderful experience despite that fact. First of all, if you are birthing in a hospital, make sure you visit and tour the hosptial and talk to the nurses (not the doctors) and take any birthing classes offered by your hospital.  They will help immensely.  What you need to remember is the nurses are your support in a hospital setting, and you want to be able to trust them.

There is nothing wrong with having pain medication or an epidural (I went in dead set against it, and that was a mistake).  If you want to stay away from narcotics during labor, (I did) there is another pain drug called Stadol that is the non narcotic form of Demorol but they only use it if you request it.  My suggestion is even if you don't want pain meds, sign ahead of time anyway because you don't know what will happen during labor.  The same goes for the epidural (I was also dead set against it too and had to sign mid labor to get one after fifteen hours of hard pitocin induced back labor).  An epi does not numb you, and generally most places use a "walking" epidural (though they won't let you walk with it) and you still feel all your contractions, it just minimizes the pain.

In my case, the epidural kept me from having a c section.  I had a super long labor (20 hours after water broke) and needed the time to relax and rest and it was during that time my dilation finished and the baby descended.  The main thing is, just no matter how you decide to give birth, listen to the nurses and what they have to say while you're in labor.  Consider their suggestions (you don't have to take them), and get to know your hospital ahead of time.  FInd out what their procedures are and you'll be alright.  And again, stay FLEXIBLE!!!  :)  Good luck, and know it isn't that bad.  I've got a second due in May....  Its all worth it when they lay that baby on your chest.

Charlie - posted on 03/02/2009

Of course giving birth is scary. If you plan on having the baby naturally with no meds my prayers are with you :) but if you are ok with the idea of an epidural i would definately say go with that. Your contractions may be intense and painful but could also not be all that severe those things are a person to person thing. But Like the ladies before me have said Relax and do what ever it takes to try to relax. Remember that you are about to bring a beautiful baby into this world who is going to love you unconditionaly and try to concentrate on that. Trust in your doctors and make sure you have people who are supportive and calm there with you. Good Luck I'm very excited for you. And my prayers are with you.

Joy - posted on 03/02/2009

I won't say that you shouldn't be nervous because it's natural to be.  Every mother was nervous about labor, especially with the first.  Have you taken a childbirth class?  If not, I would highly recommend it.  The class helped to lessen my worry because so many of my questions were answered.  Also, you're with other pregnant women and it's a relief to hear someone else ask about something you have been wondering about also. 

Labor is something that is different for every woman.  But you can have the experience you want if you just remember to not let the doctors bully you into something you don't want.  When my water first broke in the hospital, the doctor immediately wanted to hook me up with an epidural.  I wanted to go drug free and so my boyfriend and me both said "NO!".  I think the doc was kinda shocked because most women today use epidurals (not that there's anything wrong with that if that's what YOU choose, not your doc).  Then, when I had been in labor for 4 hours, the doc kept coming in and saying "OK, I'm coming back in half an hour to check on you and if you haven't had that baby by then I'm sending you for a c-section."  I don't know if he was just trying to scare me into continuing my labor but it worked.  I got mad at him and it would make me push harder. 

So my best piece of advice is to just educate yourself.  We are naturally afraid of the unknown so knowledge is power in my opinion.  Also, get yourself a birthing ball.  That helped to relieve the pain quite a bit.  Warm showers during labor also helped.  Also, I don't know how it works in England, but here in the US they don't let you leave the hospital with the baby unless you have a carseat so don't forget to buy one ahead of time, learn how to properly install it and bring it with you to the hospital.  If you can find a class on car seat safety, I would recommend that as well.  We took one here through our local fire department and it was SUCH a relief.  After the class, they actually came to our car and showed us how to install it correctly.  If we hadn't taken that course, we would have been overwhelmed by that instruction manual.  Good luck and remember, just BREATHE and get ready to meet your new favorite person in the world.  You never knew love until you hold your tiny miracle in your arms...