realtives on my dads side?

Sarah - posted on 12/21/2009

i dont think they feel bad bcus i went over there once and all they paid attention to was the baby they didnt say one word to me...no i never even say nothing to ne of them...then they go around saying im a bad kid and everything...and that i should do this and that...idk ne more

Rosie - posted on 12/21/2009

is there too much drama, and fighting with you and your dad and grandparents? cause if you guys don't have a civil relationship then u shouldn't put your baby in the middle of that. maybe u should talk to your dad and get your relationship figured out before u introduce your daughter into all of the drama. babies do have a way of bringing people together and it sounds like they want to be a part of your baby's life as a way of getting back into yours as well.

Theresa - posted on 12/21/2009

Maybe they feel bad about how they treated you and don't know how to tell you that. Maybe they think that by being active in her life they are making up for how they were with you. If you choose to let them be in her life I would make sure that they are not saying negetive things about you to her. If you see them starting to put her or you down you need to tell them in no uncertain terms that saying those things will not be tolerated or they son't be able to spend time with her. The more family a person has in their lives the better, but only if those people are positive influences in their lives.

Sarah - posted on 12/21/2009

thank you all for ur helpful advice..i know they are my family...but i think im mostly scared for her im scared they were hurt her emotionally like they do to me my mom told me that when i was a baby they acted the same way but now that im older they act like this...i dont think i shoould forgive them for the way the treat me. only bcus im scared and yes i know they want to open a bank account but they probably wont put no money in it they jsut probably want to go around n say hey i opened an account for her..i dont think honestly my dad wants to be there i believe that his mom and dad are forcing him. idk so much going on...i keep her from my boyfriends side of the family bcus they are psycho..i know there her family but idc they are seriously psycho...idk am i to picky? i just odnt want her to get hurt ya know?

Heidi - posted on 12/21/2009

I can relate with you. It doesnt seem fair that they want to spend time and money with your little girl, when they couldnt give you a second of their busy life. I can agree with the other posts. (all of them) I can see where Rebecca and Iysha come from. Maybe they see they messed up big when you were little and want to make it up buy spending time with your lil girl. IF YOU feel like you can get past this and let them in.. Make THEM earn it. As for them seting up a savings account.. Why dont you set up an acount. Because sinces shes a minor, a family member has to be on the account. (And im sure you would rather it be yourself instead of them.. ) and then tell them where it is. They can deposit money at any time.. THey just wont be able to get the balance or withdraw any money! Or you can tell them to purchase savings bonds. Remember she can always use the money when she gets older..school, car, a home.

But I would sit down and have a nice lovely talk with all of them.. Without your daughter around incase things get rough. :) And tell them how it is. If they want to spend time with her. Then they need to get over them selves and spend time with you too. They cant have thier cake and eat it too! But remember you have feelings and tell them that. If you feel you can get past them ingoring you for 19 yrs. It might be worth it.. Who knows maybe theyll put you in their will :) Thats why I talk to and spend time with my dads family!!
REMEMBER just because your forgive your grandparents and spend time with them dont mean you have to do the same with your dad!!!! Merry Christmas!!!

Amanda - posted on 12/21/2009

Im going through the same thing (kinda). My fathers side of the family have always put me down & has always started fights and soo much drama. And I dont want that for my son (6months old). They still haven't seen him (not even pictures) but weither thats right or wrong I really dont mind. Im protecting my sunshine. Maybe if your family isn't trying to be family with you also then just leave it at when she gets older let her choose. It hurts but protecting your baby comes first (for me). Hope that helps you in some way.

Iysha - posted on 12/21/2009

Maybe this is the opportunity to get closer to them...babies usually bring people closer together...and as for the bank account, your baby could use that later on for college or to put a down payment on a house or something when she's older. Take what they give and be thankful that they want to be in your daughter's life. My Fiance gets upset about my parents and aunts wanting to be around our daughter all the time but the way I see it, the more people in her life that love her and want to show it, the better.

Hayley - posted on 12/21/2009

why should u be pushed to the back this is cruel and mean if i was u i would stop there contact y should they feel they have the right to spend time with ur child after treating u so horribly make it clear thay will get no contact till this mess is sorted out how dare they i dont know u but the way u have been treated infuriates me the only people ur child needs is u and her father and happiness and she will not get that if there is tenion which they r quite clearly causing i myself would stop all contact till they have sorted things with u ur daughter dont need to be in the middle of this i hope u get it sorted 4 u and ur daughter i truly do

Rebecca - posted on 12/21/2009

I can't pretend to know what you're going through, however I do have a little bit of advice. Good or bad, your family is the only family you will ever have. I wasn't close to my dad, but I always thought there would be time to fix our issues. He passed away this year, and my chance will never come. You may be able to mend fences with your family if you can look within yourself and forgive them. I would certainly tell them how you're feeling, but try to do it in a way that isn't aggressive. If your father and his wife would like to play an active part in your daughter's life, think of it this way; doesn't she deserve to have loving grandparents? Even if you never have a great relationship with your dad, don't deny your daughter her family.