recently became single

Eve - posted on 05/15/2010

Although I'm back with my partner we did break for a few months and one of the things I was told [and I know to be true] is to make sure that contact is still there for your daughter and your ex - even if it's just on the phone. Your relationship with him is separate to his relationship with your daughter [of course there are extenuating circumstances like if there is abuse in the relationship etc]. It's going to be really hard but listen to what others have said - get support, you're gonna need it. And don't throw yourself into keeping busy because that stuff that you think will make you break down is just gonna sit and wait and your daughter will pick up on it. Try getting someone to mind her for an hour and break down!! Lose control, cry your heart out - you need to sometimes.

Jennifer - posted on 05/14/2010

I went through the same thing when my daughter had just turned a year. I cried everytime my daughter cried for her dad and worried about if i was doing the right thing but now it has been a year and we are doing great! I would be lying if i said it wasnt hard at first and really it did take the whole year to get easy. My daughter was sad for about 4 months or so then she really started to blossom and played more and is happy all the time. I also worried about my alone time but when i was alone i found myself worring about my child and what i had to do to give her the life she deserves that i just didnt have the time or right mind set to brake down. I hope you are alright and remeber you are strong!

Sharon - posted on 05/14/2010

You'll be fine.



This all seems overwhelming at first but look, you've lived through this so far. You can continue to fight through this.



Your baby is REALLY resiliant and will bounce back from this. Just like you.



Focus on enjoying the free moments you have. Focus on the moments she is happy. When she is whiney and unsettled, count it as par for the course, its just what happens to babies now & then.



You were so strong to leave him and to see your life would be better off without him, you can continue to be this strong and stronger.

R. - posted on 05/14/2010

Leaving a relationship is not easy, it takes time to recover. Take one day at a time, do something fun/nice with your daughter every chance you get. Take time for yourself, read,exercise, join a single parent support group in your area. Moving on is part of life, you will be alright.....smile.

Gwen - posted on 05/14/2010

1-Find a good counselor
2-Surround yourself with people who love and support you
3-It's OKAY to ask for help
4-It's OKAY to accept help
5-It's OKAY to cry

Your baby is fussy because her routine has changed and she can sense your tension. Take one day at a time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with experiencing your emotions. Of course you are going to break-down from time to time. Your relationship died and you are mourning the loss. Give yourself time and permission to grieve.

JuLeah - posted on 05/13/2010

Change is hard, little ones pick up on our emotion - she knows you are upset and so she is upset

Take care of yourself, get support, get sleep, eat healthy foods, talk it out, talk with friends .... as you calm down so will she - it is adjustment for both of you, but you will be okay

Establish new routines and stick with them, babies find comfort in that -

Tracy - posted on 05/13/2010

I take it you're near family again? Good. Lean on them. Have her talk to him on the phone, to maintain the connection. Yes, that stinks, but it's right for her. Just like being apart from him is probably right for all of you.

Good luck

Katherine - posted on 05/13/2010

There are a ton of support communities here and you also may want to find a mom group in your area.