refusal to potty training, help

Maria - posted on 11/19/2008 ( 8 moms have responded )

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she will cry when she is going #2 the couple of times that she would sit on the potty and now he doesn't want her diaper changed before she wold tell us when her diaper was dirty. now were on a break but does any one have any advise on how to go about it when we try again. so what were doing now is telling her when ever your ready you tell us. she will be 3 in december.

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Annah - posted on 11/19/2008

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Bless your heart! We have been there and still struggle and my son just turned 5. Just be patient and don't worry. The more stressed you are, the more stressed they are. We have had issues so bad that we ended up at the doctor's office. We have been pee pee potty trained for 2 years, but the poop training was a nightmare. I know it is a nightmare. We live for Miralax and I just remember to keep talking to my son about it calmy. Reminding him daily that everyone has to poop and that his doctor said he MUST at least try everyday. And I remind myself that I've never seen a kid graduate for high school still wearing diapers!! HA HA! You have to laugh to keep from crying! We still give a piece of candy after each poop and if he poops everyday for a whole week, he gets a big prize- like a chocolate ice cream cone or a trip to the park. Hang in there!!!

Kimberly - posted on 11/19/2008

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My son did this briefly and my ped recommended milk of magnesia. It worked great, w/in a few days he was going w/o it. It just loosens things up a bit. It doesn't give them the runs, just makes it so it is harder to hold it, and won't be painful. My niece is also refusing, and does a poopy dance when she has to go. It is pretty common.

Carrie - posted on 11/19/2008

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We had this same problem with my son and he was holding it which caused severe constibpation which caused pain when he actually went which caused a fear of going number 2 and it was this horrible cycle. So we changed him over to Rice Milk instead of cows milk which keeps him regular and if needed a stool softener like MIralax was great because he wasn't able to hold it. I had to omitor dosage so it wasn't too loose. Just a Tablespoon or so would do the trick. It took forever to get him potty trained, but the less attantian we paid, the more he figured it out on his own. He is very private about going potty and we figured he wants to be in control of this aspect of his life so we left it alone and he figured it out. All we did was wipe! :) You will get through this. I know it is stressful but it is one of the only things they can control at this time in theri life.

Jaime - posted on 11/19/2008

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I think she is crying when she goes #2 because she is trying to hold it in, creating constipation. We potty trained my daughter when she was two months shy of turning three. I waited until I felt she could completely comprehend what was about to happen. Then we took one weekend, no pull ups, straight to big girl underwear that she picked out. We took her to the potty about every hour to see if she wanted to go. When she did go, we called "Cinderelle" or "Barbie" etc on the phone - a real live person that we had set up. Get a few of your friends involved. She got so excited about calling her "heroes" she kept wanting to go potty for the reward. Now we had accidents, and she didn't like the feeling of peeing on herself, but we trained her in that one weekend. Pooping took a little longer, maybe a week.



Another thing - what made me realize she was ready was she would wake up with dry diapers. That shows the body can truly hold the pee! We did use pullups at night for about 1 month, until I knew for sure she wouldn't pee.

Jami - posted on 11/19/2008

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My neice had the same problem and still struggles some....Make sure she is getting enough fiber...the new fiber one granola bars work great, and taste good..She also needs to make her mind up about it all too. Is there a friend, her age that goes by herself that you could use as an example for her???

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With my daughter (who is now 9), I bought some new toys and placed them on a shelf above the toilet. I explained to her that when she's able to go potty instead of in her pull-up, she can have them as her reward. With her stubborness, they sat up there for a week or two until she decided she really wanted them. Couple that with a "potty song" of encouragement to make them laugh, it did the trick.

Becky - posted on 11/19/2008

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It is always best to wait for them to be ready. My son refused for months and then right before his 3rd birthday he decided he didn't want diapers anymore. There were a couple accidents but that was it.

Stacy - posted on 11/19/2008

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It is not unusual for this to be happening, many kids go through this. The main thing to do is once you start seriously training... don't go backwards for any reason... always forward or they will become confused and you will all be miserable. Once you are in pull-ups, don't use ANY diapers... once you go to undies... only pull-ups at night, etc.

You can try making it very uncomfortable for her when she does wet or poop by switching to cloth undies and plastic pants. That way she feels "yucky" and wants to let you know when she needs to be changed. That will help her to get familiar with the sensation she has just before she goes and then you are just about there. Good luck!

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