relationship after the baby

Rabecca - posted on 01/12/2010

I think its different for everyone it really depends on how to take changes in your marriage and I have seen over and over again in friends marriages ( I was single when I had my son ) but the husbands getting really jelous of the new baby and not having thier wives just paying attention to them anymore not that I think they totally knew thats what they were doing it but eventually most came around and some it lasted along time to where they really didnt have much a conection with the baby till they could say daddy then wow this kid is the greated thing ever .

Some men are just more intune with this is a huge deal and really there to take care of things and dont really think thier wives are super woman and can nurse a baby take out the trash feed the dog and make dinner do the dishes all at the sametime and try to help out but have seen alot of men that just dont understand they need to contribute more and lets face it I know I hate to ask for help I just want my husband to somehow see I need his help figure it out and act accordingly but men can tread minds and sometimes just need to be asked or make them think they are the best husband in the world if they would do this or that LOL

Sharon - posted on 01/12/2010

yeah our relationship has changed.



There are three kids. Mortgage payments, life insurance payments, braces, retainers, shwartz appliances, soccer league fees x 3, swimming lesson fees x 3, school book fairs, flat tires, the house to keep clean, holidays to plan for, Christmas recitals, parent teacher conferences, the house to keep clean, the rug to repair, the freezer that is going out, the cat box to keep clean, a GAZILLION loads of landry, .....



We're busy. We don't have time or privacy for nooners any more, we can't pack up the one baby and hit the trail to go hiking so we've gained more weight, despite playing soccer with the kids 3 times a week.. :: sigh ::



We're more comfortable with each other, its weird. Once upon a time everything was so sparkly and new, now we're more like comfy old robes.



We appreciate each other more, give compliments, try to pick up the slack from each other... way back then we'd never have admitted we weren't able to do it all.



I like us now. Its been a rough road though, lol

Jen - posted on 01/12/2010

I think most relationships change after baby; whether it's for the good or bad, there is a change that occurs when you add a person to a circle. My husband and I have good and bad times. Sometimes it seems like there are more bad times (which I know there aren't, it just seems that way) but it's when I watch him with our daughters that I realize just how much I love him and how I could not imagine living my life without him. He has allowed me the opportunity to stay home and raise our four children, for that I could never begin to thank him. He is helpful and frequently cooks and/or cleans to help me. He is wonderful and I think that in writing this, I've allowed myself to see just how fortunate I am to have him in my life.

Krista - posted on 01/12/2010

My husband and I actually became even closer after the baby arrived. We had a really great, solid relationship prior to Sam being born. So having him there for labour and delivery, and sharing the amazing moment of Sam's birth, and seeing each other fall head-over-heels for our little boy has just added a new dimension to our relationship.

I hear of people having a baby in hopes of making their relationship stronger. I think that only works if your relationship is very strong to begin with. Otherwise, a baby can be a serious strain.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/12/2010

My relationship with my baby's father did change. I don't know if it was good or bad and it change in the fact that we don't get enough alone time together but we understand that somethings were going to change. We still talk about everything and I still think of him as my best friend. We have made adjustments to our relationship. Some days we talk more than other and we have found that we have to make time for each other.

Melanie - posted on 01/12/2010

My husband was supportive but like in your situation didn't understand how much work a stay at home mum does. After a day at home with bub he too started to appreciate what I did more.



All relationships change after a major upheaval and having a child is a major upheaval, you now have the responsibility of another person and lets face it they can have uncanny ability to interfere in any attempts of intimacy. You also now have a different hat you need to get used to wearing (the mummy/daddy hat).



My husband and I have had some ups and downs, but the thing that has really saved us is baby free time. I am very lucky, both my parents and my husbands dad and step-mum and more recently hubby's mum (she lives 6 hours away), all pitch in and we get soe tie every three to four months. It is great it really gives us tie to reconnect and we try to go for dinner or at least eat food she doesn't like etc etc.



Our daughter is now eight and yes our relationship has changed, but we wouldn't change it for the world (well at least most of the time!). We love watching her grow and seeing the world through her eyes. In some ways having her has bought us closer together and in others we are further apart - but having her is worth it.

Amy - posted on 01/12/2010

My husbands and my relationship hasn't really changed at all. There are some nights we don't talk as much because were spending time as a family playing with our son. We still talk about everything and anything still, that has helped us keep our feet where they are I guess.