Sad about Kindergarten. Advice please?

Shelly - posted on 07/31/2012

I found that my daughters were not really ready for preschool till they were 3. I say follow your instincts... if she is just crying for you but is great once you leave she is just doing the mommy thing but if she is really unhappy the entire time there must be another problem.

LaTonya - posted on 07/31/2012

I am the mother of a now 13 year old and I can remember clearly when we first enrolled her in school. She cried uncontrollably each morning. She had been in daycare since 3months of age. The school was an excellent private school and highly recommended. After several weeks some things were revealed that where very unsettling. My child was more then able to talk, but didn't immediately say anything bad about here stay. Later, during casual conversation we learned of some things that were going on. No physical abuse, but definitely physiological and mental things that we would have never subjected our child with. Be sure to listen closely to your child. Kids adapt to change sooner than adults. If several weeks have gone by and still no improvements, you might check with MANY other parents for there experience. Hope all is well and good luck.

Randi - posted on 07/31/2012

I would say don't worry to much about it. My son has been going to the same daycare for a year and a half. Part time for a while and now full time. He loves it but gets up in the morning and doesn't want to go. He would rather go to Nannie's. He cried every day when I would drop him off for a little over a month. I think it is a good idea to have her in a daycare where she is able to interact with other kids. That will help her adjust to school when the time comes. It is hard to leave them crying but they don't hate you for it. I hope that this doesn't last to much longer for you or her.

Tiffany - posted on 07/31/2012

She could just really feel left out in her program. I agree with some of the comments that age 2 is far too young to be in formal school (my daughter began daycare - which is a play-based program - at age 2 and now at almost 4 will be starting another, more formal, play based curriculum. She wont begin formal 'schooling' until she's 6) so she could be super overwhelmed and missing her family.
Be careful about putting her in a situation like this for a prolonged period of time. She could develop sorts of childhood anxiety disorders because of it (not to scare you, but educate you). Not saying kids shouldnt learn to deal, but yours is awfully young, and it seems like she truly isn't ready.

Louise - posted on 07/31/2012

To all the people going on about her going to Kindergarten at 2 years old and how shocked you are, THINK ABOUT IT!!! I don't know where this woman is from but in our country kids here can start at Kindergarten at 2 years old then they go to school at age 5 with kids all different ages till age 11 (not in the same classes obviously)!!! So her saying the ages here seem perfectly normal to me! Don't be so opinionated!!!

Jodi - posted on 07/31/2012

It's just a stage that they go through. My son went through it and now we don't have any problems. Just hang in there

Louise - posted on 07/31/2012

i've seen this happen, kids get used to having that one on one relationships with a certain person but as soon as they go to school, kindy etc.. they lose that and sort of have to compete with the other kids! don't worry so much about it, like what other people have pointed out is she's only been going for awhile, as soon as she forms a friendship with one of her other class mates she'll settle. GL :)

Rene - posted on 07/31/2012

Drop, kiss, assure the child you will be back and leave. If you really want to stay longer pick one day per week where you complete a puzzle together and a set amount of time you stay for (I used to stay 45 minutes probably too long but by the time you read a book, do a puzzle, play outside etc) and discuss the time frame gently throughout the time you stay to educate your daughter in time and space. My son carried on for two years at two different pre schools and now in year five is a well adjusted member of his school who actively partakes in most activities and represents his school in sports and public speaking. It is so tiresome but they love you and want to be with you and they have to go to school, just like you have to go to work, fact of life. Grandma may also help by telling the child she misses her too but that is life and school is compulsory but they will spend time together at this time______ (choose a time) instead and add special grandma time, maybe even allow daughter and grandma the privilege of milkshake once a week or month as a treat to your daughter for going to school. Of course it is not fun but you go through it now or you go through it when school is compulsory and if you wait until then the actual reading etc may be slower. Although in my experience his reading was slower anyway. He has caught up now though and has received Distinctions at times, (I think) I have 3- lots of rewards over the years definitely credits! If you are an extremely organised person you could possibly ask the teacher to video the school time and watch them back with her to show your daughter how much fun she is having although this may be ambitious.I always wish I had more videos.
Enjoy they are precious times :-)

Joy - posted on 07/31/2012

She is still new to the school since she has only been going for 3 weeks. Also it takes kids longer to adjust to a new school when they only go 3 days a week 1/2 days. Maybe see if you can strike up a friendship with one of the other families and try to get the kids together outside of school. Having a special friend at school can make going so much more exciting! Hang in there! I've been working in Day Care for over 25 years and some kids just take longer to adjust.

J. - posted on 07/31/2012

Is your daughter in Pre-School.... or Kindergarten?? I have never heard of a school district allowing a child to enter actual Kindergarten until around the age of 5 years old... or after their 5th birthday... My oldest son is just getting ready to start kindergarten... he turned 5 in May... and we are going to do a virtual school program... this school year... Anyone have any experience with a virtual learning school program? Thanks

Eva M. - posted on 07/31/2012

Why is she in kindergarden when she's only 2?

Claudia - posted on 07/31/2012

I understand that a parent has to do what is best and if it is putting ur daughter in kindergarden then that is what you should do. Does your daughter get along with all her classmates and teachers? There might be more to her not wanting to go then just being away from mommy or grandma. Before you take her out of the kindergarden class maybe do a "surprise" visit, and watch the interaction between the kids and the kids and the teacher(s). She might feel like she isn't getting enough attention, maybe someone isn't treating her very nice. There is many reasons why she is having this reaction. And it could be as simple as just missing mommy, or grandma. But I wouldn't just brush it off or bribe her into being in a bad situation.

Jean Elizabeth - posted on 07/31/2012

Listen to your daughter. She wants to be with her grandma and that's what makes her happy. She's not missing anything. She's gaining invaluable experiences with her grandma that will last her whole lifetime and that she'll pass on to her kids and grandkids. Give a gift to her and her kids. Let her go to grandma's house.

Yvonne - posted on 07/31/2012

UR daughter is TWO and a HALF and she's in KINDERGARTEN???
Don't make sense to me, as here in Canada, kids have to be FIVE to attend KINDERGARTEN.
Personally I can't agree with ur choice to send her so early, but having an autistic child who just finished kindergarten and is heading into grade one I can suggest attending KINDERGARTEN with her, to reassure her confidence in herself & her ability to attend big kid school on her own.
But seriously.... is TWO years old and 7 months really old enough to deal with such surroundings? Especially after being with family her whole life? Not meaning to sound discouraging but sounds pretty unfair to me.
Are you sure your not meaning DAYCARE or NURSERY SCHOOL?
As either would make more sense than a two year old in KINDERGARTEN.lol
If she is incapable of a DAYCARE setting try a DAYHOME which would be more personal.

Havona - posted on 07/31/2012

Welcome to the world of childhood emotional blackmail - don't worry it gets worse, especially after the kids in the school teach her some new tricks. If the school says that she continues like that after you leave, then you have a problem. If not, she is fine keep making it positive until she has adjusted. Is there anyway that grandma can take her to school a couple times? Grandma probably gives her a lot of attention and lets her do things she cant do at home - who wouldn't pick that over school? But if grandma says school is fun, and maybe comes to school and reads a book to the class or spends the day hanging out, then maybe she will see its fun to go to school. Of course grandma probably misses her too, so make sure you are on the same page about the message before sending grandma to school, or they might gang up on you. Also, she is still pretty young, in another couple months her maturity will help her express her emotions more clearly.

Kare - posted on 07/31/2012

My oldest daughter went to daycare until she was 2 1/2. When she first started daycare she was fine but then she started crying every time I dropped her off I visited her everyday on my lunch hour and if I didn't lay her down and put her to sleep she would cry then the babysitter started calling me at work told me to come get her because she cried too much anyhow long story short the baby sitter and put long scrapes and bruises on my babies back and tummy (my daughter was 6 months old). Baby sitter said my daughter was slipping out of her hands and she was trying to catch her. No cameras No proof. After that a camera system is a must. If the "school/daycare" has a camera system take a look at the videos. Make surprise visits to see what is going on, remember that is your right and responsibility to make sure your child is safe. Everyone kept telling me it was normal for babies/children to cry when they are dropped off at day care, I do not believe this, something to your child isn't normal there.

Donna - posted on 07/31/2012

I honestly feel she is way too young to be going to preschool. She's still a baby and wants to be with her mother or someone else she feels close to. Why can't your mother-in-law still keep her, i9f she can't then you will have to look around for someone else she feels close to.

Charlene - posted on 07/31/2012

When a change happens for children so young it may take up to a year to get used to. Stay strong and things do get better

Anne - posted on 07/31/2012

How long has it been? Some kids just take longer to adjust. It may be the pre-school, i.e., not enough warmth and individual attention/support. We chose a Montessori pre-school and worried because she was not quite 3, barely potty trained, and had never been left with anyone except Grandma. But she LOVES it, all sorts of wonderful attention, independent learning, etc. We're off for the summer, and she wakes up every morning saying she can't be late for school, hurry up daddy.

Danielle - posted on 07/31/2012

Most of the time, those tears aren't for her...and are more for you. If she's able to sense that she's making you sad, she'll continue, because she's hoping to eventually get you to cave...seems like a lot for a little mind, and it's not so caniving and more that they understand what it takes to get the results they want. It is a good thing for her to have some independence and learn who she is apart from mom, dad, and even grandma. It may take time to reassure her, but continue to be brave, reassuring, and encouraging...remind her you're her rock. But she may be a person who needs encouragement and doesn't like change, and that's okay. Ask her what would make it easier for her? Even if she can't tell you, you want her to know, her opinion matters. Try to work out a before and after school routine that mght soothe her doubts and fears, things she likes like reading books, looking at pictures of family, taking a walk. You have a great opportunity to instill some great things in her here...confidence being paramount! You can do it mom! I'd love to help some more if you need it...I'm a mommy coach, and if you'd like you can reach me at deyoder@liberty.edu.

Shelley - posted on 07/31/2012

One more thought...it's these little battles that will begin to steer how you both work through issues in life. Be careful of the pattern you establish now. A family member of mine allowed her daughter to cry (among other things) and was not a strong parent. Now at 10 the daughter is hitting her mom. There is a line between nurturing and being a strong parent.

April - posted on 07/31/2012

My daughters did the same exact thing. With my younger daughter, I put her in daycare and then the preschool bus would come pick her up from there. If I dropped her off it was a huge fight to get her in the building and then for me to leave. It could that she has more freedom staying at home with her grandma and gets to do whatever she wants, or that she thinks she's missing out on all these great things grandma is doing without her. Try visiting grandma's house after school for a little bit and make a big deal about telling grandma about all the great things she did that day. Make sure your MIL ooo's and ahhh's about how much she's learning. Good luck, sounds like you have a very opinionated little girl on your hands.

Shelley - posted on 07/31/2012

If she is fine when she's there don't worry. My guess is it's for your attention. See what happens if someone else drops her off, such as your husband.

Melissa - posted on 07/31/2012

We actually do have preschools here in GA that take 2 yr olds.

Erika - posted on 07/31/2012

Why not just keep her at home with you and set up playdates with friends? Maybe consider looking into homeschooling. Hope you find a solution.

Andrea - posted on 07/31/2012

Elaine,
I wouldn't worry too much about the crying unless it causes her to become sick. My youngest child in school at this time is 4, she went last year as well, for half the day. There were some days that she would cry that she didn't want to go, but as soon as she got to the bus stop she was fine. Is there a another child around you that also goes to this school? If so, maybe you can have them come over one day on the weekend to play for alittle bit, then on monday following the playdate, if your daughter starts to cry, reminder her of the wonderful time she had with her classmate and how this other child would miss her if she didn't go to school. My daughter now asks everyday if it is time for her to go back to school ( its summer time here) ..Hang in there, she is your child and you and your husband know what is best for your child.

Diana - posted on 07/31/2012

This is something that I can relate to. My older daughter (now 12 yrs) was with my friend from the time she was 3 mos. until she was 2 years old. I had to put her in daycare after having a 2nd child. She cried every day for 3 months. That being said, she also cried when I would drop her off at my friend who was like a grandmother (Mom-Mom) to her. It used to break my heart. Mom-Mom used to tell me that as soon as I left she was fine, that she was just a little sad about me leaving until I was actually gone. One day I got to witness it first hand. It was summer & Mom-Mom had the windows open because it was warm. I dropped her off. She clung to me and cried like I was abandoning her forever. I walked out of the house & down the steps then heard a funny sound...the sound of my daughter giggling from the kitchen where I just left her not even 30 seconds before! She had no idea that I was still able to hear her. So I waited for a moment & listened. The little stinker was planning her day with Mom-Mom & what her second breakfast was going to be! Once she started daycare I learned that there were a few things that helped. 1.) When you drop her off in the morning don't linger. 2.) Give her a kiss & a hug, tell her you love her, but do not cling. 3.) If she is clingy, hand her off to one of the teachers who should take her by the hand & distract her with a book or activity. 4.) Turn around & leave...do not make eye contact with her, flinch, or show any fear. LOL. Be strong. I found that taking my daughter in & establishing a routine helped. I would take off her coat, hang up her little bag, then sit her at the table with a small snack or her breakfast so that she would have somthing to do rather than concentrating on my leaving. There were some mornings where she needed to be held by one of the teachers (one whom she loved once I was gone because she would talk about how nice she was & how she read stories.). With her first daycare it turned out that the reason she hated being there was because there was a little boy who was going through some serious emotional problems. I started noticing a pattern. On mornings when we arrived before this little boy, she didn't cry. He was on vacation for 2 weeks & she didn't cry one time! The day he came back, she started crying again. Then one morning I was there while he had a melt down. He threw a plastic fire truck as I was leaving & it the wall 3 feet from my head. The last straw though was another day when he picked up a little solid wood chair & threw it hitting my daughter right above the eye. Needless to say, this little boy had more problems than just a bad temper. The school felt sorry for him because of his homelife and were trying to work through it with him. Unfortunately, I valued my daughter's safety a little more than they did. They refused to do anything about the little boy so I needed to find another daycare. The next daycare turned out to be great. Sure she was still a little shy, but as long as we stuck to the routine we started, she felt a little better about my leaving & I felt a little better about leaving her. Good luck!

Ashley - posted on 07/31/2012

sounds like separation anxiety - if she is fine later in day after you are gone - she wants to spend time with you and her family - normal process but she is 2! She may not be ready for school yet either...

Ashley - posted on 07/31/2012

sounds like separation anxiety - if she is fine later in day after you are gone - she wants to spend time with you and her family - normal process but she is 2! She may not be ready for school yet either...

Supermummi - posted on 07/31/2012

She is not ready for school .. I think that she is going to get tried of school cause she is only 2 yrs old ...

Michelle - posted on 07/31/2012

This separation anxiety is not uncommon for children, although it is always heartbreaking for the parent! My son started pre-school at age two also, after only be cared for by us and his grandmother, and he cried for the first week or so, but was fine after that. (He also would stop crying as soon as I left.) He ended up really loving pre-school, but started having anxiety about going again a few months after having changed schools at age 4. This time it was worse, so when we moved to another city, I kept him home with me for 6 months until he started Kindergarten at age 5. He did great the first few months, but after Christmas break, the sep. anxiety started again and was worse than ever. He cried every morning before we even left the house. It even kept him up at night. It took about 2 months to get him re-adjusted to school.
Now it is summer, and he is having issues again. He doesn't want me to be out of his sight. He has no problem going to his grandparents' house for a few days without me, but if he feels like he is without an adult for even a second, he panics.
I don't know exactly why he has such anxiety, but I think I have a pretty good idea. When he was 3 - 4 years old, he lost his grandfather, grandmother, and his teacher to cancer. He seemed to deal with the deaths ok. He went to the funerals - they were not traumatic for him. But, I think he has an unconcious fear of something bad happening to me. He also got a new brother and we moved to a new house and city in this same time period, so it was a lot for a little guy!
As for your situation, it may be the age, but I think lots of children do okay at that age, too. I have read that 3 is more appropriate for most children.
Is your pre-school a play-based one? If it is academically-based, she may be too young.
Has she experienced any loss or is she exposed to anything that she may find frightening? News stories overheard on the radio, arguments between adults, etc.?
I read a book called Simplicity Parenting by Payne - you may want to check it out - he recommends simplifying the child's environment to reduce anxiety. This includes not having too many toys, not talking about adult matters in front of the child, eliminating media exposure, and generally not trying to speed up the process of childhood. It's a good read.
Good luck and I hope she quickly outgrows her anxiety!

Rita - posted on 07/31/2012

She's going thru separation anxiety. It will get better and easier as time goes on. I had the same issue with my son when he started school. I wasn't working, so he was wih mom all day, and then, all of a sudden, he was thrust into this new routine and new suroundings, but as time went on, it got easier for both of us. In the meanwhile, as much as it may hurt you, you need to just drop her off and leave, because the longer you stay around and tell her it's okay, the longer it will take for her to adjust. It may sound mean, but it works.

Carey - posted on 07/31/2012

Elaine,
We put my son in a preschool at 2 1/2 yrs. and he cried and begged not to go. We changed to a different school and he was fine immediately. I think something must have been going on at the other school. It did not seem as welcoming as the new one we tried, it was in a big church and the rooms were sort of dark. The other one was brighter and happier.
This may not be the case for your daughter's school, but just go with your gut instinct and it is a good idea to stop in during the day to see how things are going (without letting her see you).
The school may be fine, though. If you absolutely have to leave her, just love her and spend a lot of time with her when you can. The time they are young is so fleeting and it really is the best investment you can make. I regret working when my son was young. I ended up quittiing and staying home and I think it's the best thing I ever did, no regrets - I now have 4 children and that son I'm talking about is a thriving 19 year old young man now.

Blessings to you and your family,
Carey

Karin - posted on 07/31/2012

Kids like to push our buttons to try and get their own way. Your daughter is in kindergarten or pre-school? 2 is a bit young for kindergarten. My son would cry and hold on to me every morning when I dropped him off at pre-k but was fine when I left. I knew he was in good hands. You mentioned that it's winter by you? Are you in Australia? If so, maybe things are done a little differently there than in the US. If you have faith in the school you send her to, then trust she is ok there. I knew that if things got out of hand or really bad, my son's school would call me but they never did. That is how I knew they were able to handle him. That is what their job is and what they are trained for. They work with kids who cry and fuss every day so they learn how to deal with it. If it makes you feel better, speak with her teacher or the school's director. Maybe they will have some suggestions to help.

Tina - posted on 07/31/2012

My daughter is about the same age as yours and my experience is so similar to yours. I first took her to school in March this year not because I really wanted her to learn but because she was lonely at home and always with the nanny - so to give her a change, i took her to school to socialise and learn how to connect with other kids. SUrprisingly, she did not cry on day one and was simply amazed to see so many kids. Infact, I sneaked out of the compound while she was still digesting her amazement. On day two, she cried a whole deal and did not want to let go. I managed to break away from her but surpisingly, the teacher told me that immediately i left, she stopped crying and gets along pretty well in class. Sometimes when she is dropped to school, she cries but for just a couple of minutes and thats it. On some days, she would also tell me that she does not want to go to school and I would not force her because in any case, I still feel she is young. On a day she's ready to go to school, she would tell us take me to school. Currently,she is not going to school because the teacher said she needs to be in school by 8.00am(initially she used to go at 10.00am) which I felt is too early for her because she wakes up after 8am and I believe they still need to enjoy their sleep for better development since she has nothing to lose as she was only going there for company, not educational development as such. I think it is pretty normal for them to cry especially for kids who are so attached to their guardians, but it would be also good to find out if she is been bullied or any other thing which could be affecting her stay there. Secondly, you can look for another option if your mum can no longer baby sit although I understand how difficult it is.

Melanie - posted on 07/31/2012

both my kids were at child care at 6 months old. No choice. I have no family nearby and had to go back to work. Being this young they didnt appear to worry. My youngest is now 22 months and is starting to have separation anxiety, pretty much the same as your daughter. When my daughter first started, I took her for a few days prior to starting just so I felt comfortable with the staff, which she obviously picked up on herself. She now has a strong bond with one particular staff member. I know if this lady is at the service when I drop my daughter off, that it will be an easy drop off, but if this lady isnt there thats when my daughter screams, cries and tries to bite me. When my son 3 started day care he was actually at the same centre I was at. When ever I got a chance I would go down to his room to check on him. Never had an issue with him, until this year. He is with a different lot of teachers that he is unfamiliar with and some days he is keen to go and others he isnt. When I have the chance I try to spend at least 20 minutes with him, letting him choose what we play. After about 15 minutes I tell him mummy has to go in 5 minutes. Then when there is 2 minutes, I tell him the same thing. Then when it is time for me to leave, I make sure he has his teacher or teacher's assistant nearby, so he knows that he will be looked after.
Perhaps try spending a morning with your daughter in her class (if possible) to help her feel more comfortable in the group and show her that her teachers arent bad people. Try and develop a friendship with her teachers, which ultimately your daughter would see and hopefully will try to mimic.

Dinah - posted on 07/31/2012

Maybe there is a particular teacher she doesnt like in that kindergarten. try changing her to another kindergarten.

Sarah - posted on 07/30/2012

2.5 years old and in a form of school already??Seriously?? I think you're jumping the gun alot. At that age they need to gradually socialize with a couple of kids at a time before you dump her into a classroom full of a bunch of kids. It's a lot easier for a toddler(which is what she is) to cope and deal with one kid being mean and not sharing etc, than a bunch of them. I can't imagine how overwhelmed this child must feel.

Jacque - posted on 07/30/2012

because she doesnt like it ....2 is way to young for preschoo. l if your mother in law is willing to watch her why put her thur that? she has many years of school .. if you are lucky she has 5 years with her grandma. she doesnt have to go to preschoo. l good luck be happy you have a loving grandma for her that is will to care for your child she is a very lucky girl

Jeannie - posted on 07/30/2012

Early socialization is the number one cause of peer dependency, which is the main cause of drug use in teens, peer pressure!. I worked in a wonderful federal day care with nursery school in Orange County. I say little 2 year olds forming gangs, bullying children who weren't aggressive. I saw sweet little babes become depressed, withdrawn, while others became just plain mean. I was 19 and made a decision that when I had children, I would NEVER put them in day care, nursery school, or even leave them with a baby sitter. I became an RN, worked opposite shifts from my husband and raised 2 wonderful men who never used drugs, did great in school, and would tell you wonderful memories of their childhood. Most important, they are wonderful fathers.

Sharen - posted on 07/30/2012

I think the peer pressure is scaring her. Perhaps she is not ready to be part of a big group. I would give her another year at least and let her be safe and comfortable with Grandma. She will have plenty of time to make friends and play on the junglegym but only this very short time to be with family who love her. I am a preschool teacher and I still think home is best for ages 0-5 years. It has been proven that family based care improves intelligence and security in that age group. Best wishes.

Dixie - posted on 07/30/2012

I think it is too way early for her to go to school, probably a daycare is fine... I think she is not emotionally ready yet and let her be a baby first... 3 1/2 - 4 yrs old is ok to go to a Pre-school .... Don't force her or she would end up hating school.

She may still have the separation anxiety too. Give her time, when she is ready, i bet she will let you know.

Goodluck!

Darlene - posted on 07/30/2012

Hi Elaine,
When my daughter was first born, I worked for 9 months...I hated it. Then I left my job and stayed at home with her. When she went to kindergarden, the 1st day of school was actually her 5th birthday. I tho't she would scream and cry,,,On the contrary she told me that she was a big girl and I could go now. I cried all the way home..(big baby I know).

She loved it. During the first parent teacher conference her teacher said she felt that my daughter was too young and wanted to hold her back. I said no because she is a bright child and I did not feel that holding her back was best for her. Within 6 to 8 weeks, my daughter was at the top of her class. I said all this to tell you...Listen to your maternal instincts, what does your heart tell you? Personally, I think your daughter is too young. 4 to 5 years old is as early as most kids start school. Have you considered pre-school or day care? There are alot of moms out there that go thru the same thing. Good luck to you.

Julia - posted on 07/30/2012

Two things have happened to your daughter. She is going to preschool AND she's grieving the loss of her grandmother. I bet that the grieving the loss of her grandmother is mostly what she's crying about. Kids of her age have a strong instinct to bond with their caretakers, and losing a caretaker at this age can be traumatic. If I were you, I would try to get her grandmother to look after her more. She could still go to the preschool, if you want, although another option is to just make sure she gets lots of playdates. Don't worry about your mother-in-law interfering. That's an annoyance to you, but your daughter is suffering a lot more than you do when your mother-in-law interferes. A few years from now you can tactfully get your mother-in-law to interfere less. Right now she is one of your daughter's great loves.

Cindy - posted on 07/30/2012

I have been in education for 10 years now and your daughters tears are a clear sign she is not ready yet to be in school! She is not even three yet! Time spent with grandma is much better spent at this age. Once your child reaches 5 or 6 (whatever age your state law requires) and has to be in school she will be there for 12 plus years so what is the rush? Texas state law says they don't have to be in school until they are six even though the schools take them at 5. I kept mine home until they were six. I have been very happy with the results. Research shows that the closer a child is to six when they start school the better off they are. These students end up being the ones who are confident in themselves and their school work, do much better grade wise, and usually excel.

Lacey - posted on 07/30/2012

Sometimes it helps to go back 20 minutes after dropping her off and peek in the window. She'll be playing and laughing and you will feel so much better about the mornings. Out helped me. My.boy eventually stopped crying at drop off. It's normal. However, if she cries all day, and does not participate, try a smaller class size or different style of teaching. Every child has slightly different needs and comforts.

Sharie - posted on 07/30/2012

I am basically a stay at home mom and have been for almost 6 years. When my daughter was 3 1/2 she started a mothers day out program. Shortly after i enrolled her they offered me a job there. So my son started the mothers day out program when he was 14 months old 2 times a week. My daughter cried for the first 4-6 weeks when I dropped her off but every time I walked by her room she was always laughing and having fun. For my son starting him so young was the best thing for him. He Just turned 3 and is getting ready to start his 3rd year there and he is so excited he can't hardly stand it. It's all he talks about! And this year he is finally old enough to go 3 days a week.
I am also getting ready to start my 3rd year there. The last two years I had the age group "ones" and most of them were 16-23 months as of sept 1. Just from my experiance as a "teacher" it is so much easier for the child and the teacher if you 1) don't start in the middle of the school year. If you can't start with in the first 4 weeks of school, wait til the next year. At the beginning everyone is new, every one crys when they a dropped off, everyone is scared, but they are all going through it together. So if you wait to long after the rest of the class is comfortable with each other and the class room/schedule, your child is going to take longer to adjust then everyone else did. It's going to make your child misserable and all the other children misserable as well because the teachers are trying to get this new child comfortable and adjusted so it takes away from lessons and the schedule the other children are used too so the whole room turns to chaos. 2) when dropping your child off, give her a kiss, say "I hope you have a good day, and I'll be back in a little bit to pick you up" turn and walk away and leave. Don't let her see you again until it's time to go home. It will be heart breaking to hear her cry as you walk away but if you don't she is going to relate it as "if I cry long enough she will come back" and if you do and leave again it will continue to get worse. We would so much rather you call 10 times a day to make sure she is ok rather then the linger around until she stops crying. Ecause it will take her a lot longer to adjust.

Stephanie - posted on 07/30/2012

i think she may be a bit young.
i found if you are very open about it, ie Mum and Dad and Granny have to work and you are sending her there because you love her and want her to be happy.
there may be something bothering her, take lots of time to talk to her and get Dad and Granny on the same wave length, children dont always tell one parent, and see what she says to them.
check with the playschool as well, see what they say and go by your instincts, at the end of the day your her parents.

Bella - posted on 07/30/2012

All the little ones cry for the first few weeks they are separated from their loved ones and taken to a strange place. She probably loves her gran very much and her gran probably loves her very much but she needs to interact with children of her own age. She needs to trust you and know that you are coming back to fetch her. Her pyjamas and bed are all still at your family home, where you all come back to "home". She needs to be made school-ready and neither you nor the granny are able to do that. The teachers are specially trained and work according to a set program. Besides, all the equipment to develope her different skills are available at the shcool. You need to be strong and keep assuring her that you love her and you are coming back to fetch her. Grit your teeth. She probably stops crying before you even turned the next corner!

Lesley Hoka - posted on 07/30/2012

i guess i should say am a lucky mom.. ma baby gal has adapted so well in school i used to feel abit jealous as she never cried for me. her first day in school-baby class i was actually expecting her to cry for me when she was being taken to go to class, but she didnt. she told me bye so well even later in the day when i called her teacher to check on her i was told she was so okay and was busy playing with the other kids. they are now about to close for school holidays and now am worried how she'll be coz of not attending school. when sick and she has to miss school she cries so badly and wants to still go to school, i end up calling her teacher to speak with her which makes her feel much better... am just glad she's coping well and making friends and you shouldn't worry, am sure your child will eventually make friends and get used to being in school.