Sassy attitude from my 8 yr old.

Sara - posted on 03/02/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My 8 yr old daugher has a bad attitude when it come to chores, doing her homework and just listening in general. Any suggestions on how to nip this so she won't grow up being tottaly uncontrolable?

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Jenny - posted on 03/07/2010

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Happily do chores and homework together. Be kind and gentle and sweet. If she's being "sassy", be even more kind and gentle and sweet. People react better to kindness, than harshness and punishment. Kids are the great sponges and copiers, they will absorb and copy our own attitudes. Be the kind of person, and behave like the kind of person you want her to be and behave like. Don't be "firm", be gentle. Harshness breeds more harshness.

Michelle - posted on 03/07/2010

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OMG...I can't believe I'm reading this!!! I'm having the same problem with my 8yr old daughter. Just really sassy...and tonight just moved me to tears. She's very disrespectful..talking back, keeps talking and pleading when I tell her no. It's unreal. She's a very sweet girl, loves to hug, loves to read. But it seems this sassiness, and little respect for me and her dad has to stop. We have taken things away, the DS, the computer, the Wii. But it seems that doesn't work. I'd hate to make her sit in her room with nothing...and just reading. She'll soon look at reading as a punishment. Some days are really good, but the bad days are really bad. I'm not talking about a child that's violent, hurtful or wants to hit me, but one that really doesn't realize or doesn't want to accept that mom and dad have the final say....



Everyday we sit at the same table and do homework, that's never a problem. She keeps her room very clean, that's never a problem. So what is a mom and dad to do?

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Bea - posted on 08/21/2014

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Glad to know Im not alone!
I have only an 8 yr old girl. She is constantly correcting us as though she is the adult. Hates chores. Hates schoolwork. Won't follow instructions.

Iridescent - posted on 03/07/2010

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We have a hard time right now with our 8 year old as well. Our oldest is 10, and he didn't have the same issues at all, but he's autistic so structure and routine are all that really matters. With our 8 year old, he's just becoming so angry! My husband actually said, "If we don't find a way to take care of this, it won't be long before I'm scared of him." And my husband is not scared of many people.

I talked to the occupational therapist at school for her recommendations. She suggested drawing; when he's angry, make him sit down and draw what is wrong. I got him a small art set so he could do this, explained it to him, and it's set aside in the livingroom so it's easily accessible. We have the same rules for him as for our other children, he has the same chores, no TV except when it's approved, no computer time unless it's approved (usually 30 minutes at a time, max 3-4 times per week, generally on weekends only), a routine that makes sure he's getting enough sleep. He's just not happy with it all and part of it is that he went from being the baby of the family for 6 years to being one of the oldest all at once (we had 3 kids within 2 months). So part of it is that he needs more attention, and we're making a huge effort to give him 1:1 time with each of us parents. His attitude is improving, but it's not great yet.

Kristen - posted on 03/05/2010

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All 3 of my kids went thru this faze. You need to let them know they have responsibilities and if they choose not to take part in their chores or homework, there will be consequences. You need to consider what's most important to them, and remove it. Tell them you don't like them right now, and their aren't your friend, would they like their friend if they acted like that. But stay firm in whatever you choose to inforce.

Aroha - posted on 03/05/2010

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my 8 year old daughter is going through the same. dont have a clue what to do, just keep the door open when she needs to talk, keep listening, keep the rules age appropriate and be firm. easier said than done... let me know if any suggestions work.

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2010

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Why does she have a bad attitude about chores and homework? I hope that you have a no TV and no video games on weekdays rule. If you don't, you may want to start there. Also, if you approach cleaning with a good attitude and her homework with a good attitude - making it fun - time spent together, you should not have a problem. Tasks are better accomplished at this age when you work with your child, side by side.

Elise - posted on 03/05/2010

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i have an 8 yr old boy and am having the same issues i thinks its an age where they are trying to assert themselves as individuals and seperate from their parents i think if they have clear boundries and consequences then we all will get through this age!!

Tricia - posted on 03/04/2010

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This is a hard age for kids in general She is definately testing you....you need to be firm with punishment and do not give in. I am still having the same problems with my 16 year daughter. It is a constant struggle. I would not say Alexus is uncontrollable but she is very strong willed and she is in for a rude awakening someday out there in the real world.

Mahalia - posted on 03/02/2010

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WELL MU SUGGESTION IS TO PUT HER ON PUNISHMENT NOTHING SEVERE. TAKE AWAY THE THINGS SHE ENJOY THE MOST AND THAT SHOULD HELP.AND THE MORE SHE DONT LISTEN THE MORE YOU TAKE AWAY. AND DONT GIVE THEM BACK UNTIL YOU FEEL SHE HAS LEARNED WHAT SHE HAS DONE WRONG.

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