Scared to have another??

Jodi - posted on 05/11/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Ok, so I have a 7.5 month old baby boy and he's my absolute world! I am not trying to brag, but he is an amazingly good baby. He sleeps so good, he is always all smiles. He happily plays by himself. Wakes up happy, falls asleep happy, you barely hear a peep out of him! Even when we were in the hospital when I had him the nurses were praising him, saying he's the only baby in there they had'nt heard cry yet!
Anyway, my fiance and I want to start trying for another baby right after our wedding this summer, and I am a bit nervous! Everyone keeps telling me that the second is never as good as the first! I've been so spoiled with him I am scared I am going into this blind and with unreasonable expectations. Just wondering if anyone's second was as good as the first. I know all babies are different but I am just wondering about everyone elses experiences, and how they handled a toddler and a newborn. Thanks!

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Kristin - posted on 05/11/2010

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Your child is a wonderful, easy, happy baby because you are happy, relaxed, and not terribly stressed. That's the secret no one tells us. These funny little creatures we bring home pick up on absolutely every thought or feeling we have and then broadcast it.



If anything, I would advise waiting until the idea of another is not making you so nervous. Make no mistake, it is a little scary adding to the family at any time. But as long as you remember that each child is their own person with preferences and quirks, it will be fine.



I've got a 5 year old (obscenely easy child except for only being able to sleep when touching me as a baby/toddler), a not quite 3 year old (stubborn in a way that just delights my father), and 37 weeks with our third. If fully expect this one to be every bit as delightful, challenging, funny, and frustrating as it's two older brothers. I chose the spacing on these kids so that we would ideally be close to the end of the frustrating bits of toddlerhood when the newest addition arrived. It really helped to have a child who could communicate their needs to me while deciphering the needs of an infant. As for handling, it just takes patience. My delightfully easy going child got amazingly demanding when his brother arrived. I rather expect the same with this next one.



Good luck. It is as scary as you think it is and better than you can imagine.

Connie - posted on 05/11/2010

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My first was an easy baby as well. I carefully waited until i would only have one in diapers at a time lol. my second is 2 1/2 years younger than the first. my second baby although a very different person than her sister was also a good baby. just remember that each is their own person. just as you have learned about your first son, you will also learn another child. it helps if the oldest is allowed to help with the baby or at least feel as though they are. Good luck and God Bless!

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Tina - posted on 05/12/2010

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My first was (and still is) a nightmare!! But in his own way, of course, he's still a little angel. My second was my easy baby! Now definately not having another one! I have total respect for those mums who have more than two. Well done!

Best of luck to you, Jodi! No matter what, keep hold of your sense of humour and try to relax about it all!

Sarah - posted on 05/12/2010

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LOL Nicole! Your description of your first sounds EXACTLY the way mine was!
Put me off having another one for 4 yrs!!!!!
:)

Nicola - posted on 05/12/2010

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I'm with Sarah on this one, my eldest was a grim experience... he wouldn't sleep without me in the same room for 2-3 weeks (so I was on the floor next to his cot!), he used to cry all evening (probably colic), after night feeds I used to have a terrible time getting him back to sleep, and spent many hours wheeling him round our tiny living room in his buggy in the dark as that was the only way to soothe him! Looking back, I was totally unprepared for the challenges of motherhood; my dh had anxiety issues with the baby, so I was the one caring for him ALL the time; I was stressed, and probably a little depressed, and he just soaked all the angst up like a sponge!!

When I fell pg the second time, my son was about 20 months old, and I was actually in a blind panic because I felt as though we'd only just got on top of the disruption his arrival had caused and started to be a family... When Son No 2 was born, however, I was prepared for toal chaos, and he turned out to be a contented, sleepy, easy, smiley baby who fed, slept and played without any problem.

My daughter was reasonably easy too. I was an old hand by then, and totally unfazed by whatever she could throw at me!!

Sarah - posted on 05/12/2010

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My eldest was a nightmare! hahaha!
My youngest was a piece of cake.
I do wonder if that's because i knew what i was doing more with my youngest because i'd done it all before!

Fact is, you can never tell until they come along, but by that point you will have fallen madly in love with them, so it won't matter! :)

Louise - posted on 05/12/2010

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It is totally pot luck I am afraid. My first was an angel sleeping through the night and totally a joy. My second upset the apple cart and turned our lives upside down, not that he was a bad baby just that it is so different looking after two babies. It takes more planning and organisation to do any thing. I then left a huge gap between the second and third of 15 years and my daughter is a joy. My boys are out doing there own thing so it is like having an only child again. So it is not that the second baby is naughty it's just a change from having one baby to two! Good luck

Amy - posted on 05/11/2010

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I have a 4 year old boy and was upset to find out I was having a girl because my son was sooo easy! In retrospect it didn't matter what they said I was having I knew it wasn't going to be good! Well I'm very happy to report that my 7 week old daughter is actually easier than my son. Although I'm sure she won't stay this way forever so far so good! Good luck!!

Jenee - posted on 05/11/2010

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My son was an easy baby till about 14 months. Now he is a monster and has hit the terrible twos early. We have decided to wait for this reason. I would like him to be at least 4-5 before we try for the next and heading into school so that way I have lots of free time for the new baby. We wanted to originally try this summer.

Krista - posted on 05/11/2010

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I'm in the same boat as you. My 9-month old is an absurdly pleasant, happy, "easy" baby, and I've already resigned myself to having a colicky, fussy, crankypants as my second. LOL!

I think no matter how difficult or easy your second baby is, it's still going to be a huge adjustment from one child to two.

And even if your second one isn't as easygoing as your first, you have one major advantage going for you: experience. You'll be an old hand at all of your basic baby stuff, and so will be able to better cope with any of the unexpected things that are thrown at you.

And hey, you never know -- your second child could also be easygoing.

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