Second grade dilema

Sahira - posted on 07/28/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son starts second grade in Aug., He didn't do very well in first grade. If he does not do well in 2nd grade, can I ask for him to be put back in 1st grade? Can it be done?

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Libby - posted on 07/28/2009

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Also, I think it would be detrimental to his self esteem to let him start 2nd grade and then decide to bump him back. If you REALLY want him to stay in 1st then do it before the school year starts. You need to make this decision now to prepare him for what to expect. But I think if he's passing and the school doesn't suggest to hold him back, then just figure out a way to help him prosper in the 2nd grade. I have however seen kids stay in kindergarten for 2 years. Sometimes the parents who have the young 5's will decide to keep them in another year. When my son was in Kindergarten there were about 3 kids in his class and they were definetly comfortable with the work (sometimes maybe too comfortable and goofed off some), but they seemed to be good leaders and helpers. But that was a decision made early on and the children knew what to expect. I'm not sure it would be beneficial to yank your child back into another grade somewhere during the school year. My oldest is also going into the 2nd grade and we'll also have a Kindergartner this year. I volunteer in the schools and it's the best way for me to keep tabs on what they're learning. It also shows that I support them in their school work and that it is VERY important to do well in school. If you have the opportunity I would suggest volunteering and being as hands on as possible. I found it very rewarding. I not only work with my child, but with all of the students in the grade that my child is in. They look up to me as a teacher and that is very cool!

Libby - posted on 07/28/2009

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I'm not sure that would be the best solution. Perhaps if he doesn't do well you could get him the help that he needs to keep up with the 2nd grade curriculum. Perhaps he needs tested to see if he has a learning disability. It may be something very small and once it is figured out he can get the support he needs from school and at home. Also, perhaps an outside tutor would be good.



My best friend was against holding her child back in the 2nd grade even though the school suggested it. She said no, got her two tutors, got her tested (even though she had asked for it for half of the previous school year and the school didn't do it), and now she is doing much better. She's not a prodigy child or anything like that, but she is doing better because they are helping figure out where she needs help with her school work. Don't let your kid get over looked. Stand up for him and make sure they do all they can do at the school.

Lorena - posted on 07/28/2009

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What do you mean by "He didn't do very well in first grade"? I wouldn't hold him back, instead I would work with him during his 2nd grade year trying to find ways to encourage him and get him excited about school and learning. Spending more time reading together, etc... like others suggested talk to a school counselor, they might be able to help you with ideas. In my son's school they also have special classes where they help kids that are struggling in different areas. Hope he has a good year! (My oldest is also starting 2nd grade and my youngest will be in Kindergarten)

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You know, I had a similar problem with my son. Keeping in mind that my son goes to private school- I am not sure how your school is set up- I placed him in Kindergarten this past fall, and within 2 weeks, he was overwhelmed and feeling 'tummy aches'. I went to the director and we spoke about his problem, and after much hesitation I then decided to place him in Jr. Kindergarten, and his attitude completely changed. He became happy and started loving class, and has been doing great!

Basically, the director sat me down and asked why I would be hesitant to pull him back a year- and then she said "you know, they are young only once, later in life no one will care how old he was when he graduated. Placing him in a grade when he's overwhelmed will only teach him to fear and dislike school. A bit of challenge is good for the brain, but too much challenge will set him up for failure for the rest of his scholastic career". THAT was the best advice I've gotten, and I now can see all the difference in him. He has excelled in Jr. Kindergarten, and will start Kindergarten this fall. Good luck, and follow your instincts!

Ashley - posted on 07/28/2009

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if you're concerned about it now, I'd have him kept back this year, otherwise he wastes 2 years of his life.

Tina - posted on 07/28/2009

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Talk to the counselor at his school. Actually his 1st grade teacher should have said something to you at his parent/teacher conference. Stay involved with your kids education as much as possible. Always ask questions.

Jennifer - posted on 07/28/2009

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i'm sure they could !!! My daughter is also starting 2nd!! And also has a hard time at school !!! HAve you tried p.t.a? it worked wonders 4 us11

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Ask the school. If there was a concern, the 1st grade teacher should have brought it up as an option to you at the end of the school year. They might not allow him to be retained after the school year starts though, I'm not sure how that works. But I think you can retain a child at the parents request. However, if he's meeting the standards and can keep up with the work, even if it's not straight A's, they might recommend he stay where he is. I'd go in and ask now.

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I would imagine it could be done. This would be something you should ask the school district office about. They can tell you what you need to do and what to look for to see if your son should be held back.

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