Su - posted on 02/21/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )
My 15 year old daughter began self harming about three and a half years ago. At the time she was dealing with starting high school, the death of her grandfather, the recent devorce of myself and her dad, the birth of his first child with the woman he had cheated on me with intermittently for 8 years and me starting a relationship with my partner who I have now been with for about 4 years and ofcourse teenage hormones. Before this she had always been a happy child with lots of friends and always did well at school. she self harmed irregularly but it often happened when she was visiting her dad. She said he ignored her or didn't spend time with her and i know from past experience that he finds it hard to show affection and to give love in anyway other than to spend money and she was finding this out for herself.
For a long time I blamed him for the self harming but recently I have realised that she is actually trying to get at me. We have always had a close relationship but when I started seeing my partner she felt I was not paying as much attention to her. She has never admitted this but I can see that after having me to herself for 5 years after I left her father it obviously affected her deeply when I met my partner.
She craves my attention because she has never had that from her father and it was always us against the world. I have always worked fulltime and she has never liked this. My family live about 60 miles away and every time she self harmed in the past she had pleaded with me to move there. This has never been an option as my life is here. The last time she self harmed she again begged me and after a long talk with myself I said No. three weeks later she tried to commit suicide. Anyone know how to deal with this?....