Sending my Children with there grandparents for the summer?

Miccayla - posted on 06/10/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My fiance and I have two children and were a military family so the kids dont see there grandparents very often. Im going home at the end of the month for my bridal shower and there are 4 weeks until the wedding. My fiance's family would like to take my 20 month old for that time (I can always pick up early) but Im just not sure if this is okay he is about 20months old. My oldest already has plans to spend those 4 weeks with my family and his biological dad. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We would love some alone time since were not getting a honey moon and we have gone on 2 dates in 3 years, But were scared our baby will forget us or it will be to hard on him to be away from us and his big brother.

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Patricia - posted on 06/12/2010

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I would go see the inlaws and have several date nights and day outings , lunches. Think about places close by to do activities parks, pools,! This can be a mini vacation for you with short bonding sessions for the grandparents. It won't stress your child and you can help by not over stressing Grandma and Grandpa. Many a time I have seen seniors who have grandchildren visiting who say how nice it will be when they go home. This is a happy MEDIUM not too withdrawn for the child or too taxing on the seniors.

Ashlie - posted on 06/12/2010

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That's an awful long time away. I don't think there is anything necessarily "wrong" with it. I just personally couldn't do it for that long of a time. I don't think your baby will forget you though. But, soooo much development goes on during a month long span during this time. Maybe try a week to two weeks of separation and see how that goes. I'm sure grandma and grandpa would love some quality time. And it's healthy for you two to have some alone time too. But, I have a feeling you'll be ready for your little one to be back sooner than you expect!
Just find a happy medium! Good luck!

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Nancy - posted on 04/28/2013

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When I was about 5 yrs of age I spent my entire summer with my Grandparents out in the desert of there home, it was horrible and to this day I don't know why my parents did this. My Grand mom was not well, and my Grandpapa wasn't either. I would think twice before doing this. You had kids to enjoy them. When I had my son, I made sure I was there every second for him. Be a parent and enjoy your kids stop being selfish for yourselves. You wanted the kids enjoy them.

Erin - posted on 08/01/2010

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I would be ok for maybe 2-3 days but not 4 weeks. I think he is too young IMO. If he was older, maybe 4 or 5 then I might be ok with that. Good luck figuring this out.

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4 weeks? No way would I even consider that. My girls (8.5) spent 2.5 weeks w/ their father this summer and it was WAY too long for me.

At 20 months I wouldn't even do an overnight, but if you are ok w/ leaving him overnight I'd maybe do 3-4 days.

Sherri - posted on 06/12/2010

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I haven't been away from any of my kids that long in their entire lives and they are 13, 11 & 4. I can count on one hand the amount of days I have left my 4 yr old over night in all of his 4 yrs. I couldn't do it that is soooo long.

Angie - posted on 06/12/2010

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Negotiate a shorter visit if you're uncomfortable being away from your child for that long. I didn't even spend a night away from my oldest until he was almost 3 and then it was 2 nights so I could go to a conference with my husband.

Dorene - posted on 06/12/2010

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I understand that it's the grandparents, but I think 4 weeks is way to long. I couldn't do that. It also depends on how attached your child is to you. I think if this is the first time he's been away from you , I think one night is what you should do. Has he been w/ your fiance's parents before? If it's not that often he may not want to stay. Maybe you could all stay there together as a family, and have a "date night" that way you have your fun and the grandparents visit w/ your son and he could have his mommy too. Hope this helps.

Becky - posted on 06/11/2010

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We are military too and having somewhat of the same problem. My mom wants to take my oldest for a month in the summer. My daughter is 3 and really wants to go too but I say no. I know my daughter will do fine because she loves and misses her grandma so much. We skype her everyday because if we don't my daughter starts crying and saying how much she misses her grandma. :-( it makes me sad to see this but I think 3 is still to young to be away for that long. Not to mention I would go crazy without her being driving distance away from us. I have told my mom when she turns 5 is when we can start the summer visit. I know how you feel about not having dates and such because I am right there with you. We have had 1 date in the past year and that was when my mom came out to visit and she watched the girls for us. I know from we lived in Michigan to Langley AFB (VA) is 12 hours straight thru drive so it is a even longer drive to SD. If you feel like you can be away from him for that long do it but I know I could never do it. If you guys really want some alone time, have him take leave, drop the baby off at his parents for a weekend/ or week and go on a mini vacation with just the two of you.

Miccayla - posted on 06/10/2010

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Like I said my fiance is military so going to stay in a hotel near them will not work he's lucky if he gets saturday and sunday off let alone a week off. We currently live in Virginia and my future in laws live in South Dakota. He has been away from his dad for multiple weeks and handles that well but has never been away from me for more then a few hours.

Amy - posted on 06/10/2010

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Is he 1 or 18 months? If he's only one than I would say no more than a couple of days if he's 18 months maybe 1 week or week and 1/2. Some things you may want to consider has he been away from you before? Does he see his granparents enough that he's going to adjust ok? Another thing is can you get there within a reasonable amount of time if something were to go wrong or he doesn't adjust well? I would say if it's more than a couple hours driving or it requires a plane ticket no way! If you and hubby want some time alone maybe you could stay at a hotel near his parents or have them come to your house and you could go some where close by. Good luck!

Sandy - posted on 06/10/2010

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I think that is a really long time for baby to be away from the family....good luck working this out...

Jordan - posted on 06/10/2010

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the thought sounds good, but the reality, idk about. how can you really go that long without "your baby"...i personally couldn't.

maybe for a few days but i wouldnt push it that far. hopefully you figure it out! good luck.

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