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Sex, Or lack of it!

Sarra - posted on 01/02/2010 ( 53 moms have responded )

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my baby is almost 8 months old and I still have no desire to be with my husband sexually what so ever, don't get me wrong I love him. I just don't want to be close to him, I don't like being touched by him it makes my skin crawl. And when we are intimate, he can totally since that im just not into it. I don't know what to do, can having a baby destroy your sex drive. Does some part of me resent him...I just don't know. All I know is I love him and I love our baby, but I don't love sex. HELP!

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Maggie - posted on 01/02/2010

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hi are you on some sort of birth control cos i'm on the implant and that has seriously affected my sex drive it's somewhere six foot under. it's not as if my partner is a hunchback or some total weirdo that doesn't wash. he's great but the minute he starts to cuddle me or want to get down and dirty i just switch off. for the sake of my relationship we've decided on a date night where once baby who's 11 months is in bed we talk and cuddle and eventually hopefully have sex and its the same night so i really try to get there. i know its not really all me but its mostly the implant making my hormones go crazy. if it's not your birth control maybe you don't feel like a woman anymore and its all about being mummy thats not exactly gonna make you feel very desirable is it. hope this helps.

Jessica - posted on 01/02/2010

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I got like that to a lesser degree. Mine comes and goes. Sometimes I'm really up for it and other times I can't stand the thought of it. I just figured my hormones were all kinds of crazy from the pregnancy still. I've also heard that breastfeeding can make your aversion to sex stronger because, like Sharon said, you see yourself as more matronly rather and sexually. What helps me is if my husband and I just kind of cuddle without showing any sexual intent. Eventually it usually leads to it and for some reason it doesn't bother me. Maybe you have to simply adjust your approach to it. The first time my husband just kind of grabbed me (something that would have been fine before) after I had our daughter I almost smacked him so I know how you feel and I hope what I said helps. Good luck.

Sharon - posted on 01/02/2010

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I have no help for you but i'm curious to see what responses will be.



The only thing I can recall about this is that sometimes women disassociate their bodies from sexual to mother and its hard to switch back.



In which case, maybe non sexual but sensual play is needed?

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