Should i go to my stepson's school functions?

Carol - posted on 08/23/2012

Had to reiterate. In my family experience we do all we can for our children, Biological and step. this means going to parent conferences. Sitting in the back just to listen is letting not only the mother , but the teacher that you have a interest in the child's life. This is what is important, it is nice to have a decent relationship with the mother, but if that is not fessable, kill it with kindness and show that you will take interest. The child will not forget and will look at you as the other mom. Been there and seen it happen.

Carol - posted on 08/23/2012

Yes you should go. This way he knows you are part of his family. Taking interest in his life means as much as if you were his only mom. He will appreciate your interest as he grows.

Sherri - posted on 08/23/2012

Of course you should, sorry for those that don't like it but you are her other mother half of the time. Whether bio mom likes it or not and you need to know what is going on at school just like they do.

Christina - posted on 08/23/2012

I say that if you are part of the family then by all means attend with you husband. If the wife doesn't want you there ask the teacher about setting up a different time with your family. Since you are the step-mom you play a vital role in his education so by all means attend.

Sylvia - posted on 08/23/2012

Be upfront with school and staff. They are always willing to set up two different parent/teacher conferences. Continue to be involved in his life as you have for the pass three years. My ex has a new family now, but I always make sure the school has his information too. I personally send him copies of things too.

I also have been on the other side too. Always do what's right for the child.

Brandi - posted on 08/23/2012

The more support the better. I think if you all want to be involved then you should. If you can't do conferences together then schedule them separate but always always be involved.

Christine - posted on 08/23/2012

Assuming, as you stated, that you will be an active participant in his schooling, you should definitely attend. In my son's 3rd grade Curriculum Night last year there was a mom and stepmom both in attendance (dad couldn't attend). They both picked up copies of the handouts. The stepmom attended several of the child's school functions, sometimes in conjunction with the mom, other times alone. And each week there were two "Friday Folder's"....one for each set of parents. Both sets equally and actively involved in his education.

Judith - posted on 08/23/2012

If you've been taking care of him as a mother since he was 2, then,continue being a mother to him, attend his parent teacher conferences, cheer him on when he's in school or play.

Just go ahead and be a mother to him, as you've been since he was 2.

Every other issue will sort itself out with time, his progress is all that really matters.

Michelle - posted on 08/23/2012

Of course you should go,children dont see all the legal crap that goes with seperation so he just sees that you are there and willing to participate and that you dont see him any different than the child you and your husband have together!!

Vivien - posted on 08/23/2012

Oh yes, and we have our own parent conferences without the mother as she has caused so so much trouble over the last 5 years.



It works well now.

Vivien - posted on 08/23/2012

Most definetely you should be going. I have exactly the same going on here and I go and he goes to my kids too. You are the one helping him with homework and you need to know how he is doing. My stepsons want me there all the time but we also have their mother trying to stop me by telling them they are parent interviews and that I am not their parent. This is only hurting them. I always go now and they ask me to all their shows and sports and they are proud to have me as their stepmum.

Melissa - posted on 08/23/2012

I agree with Dove - My X-Husband and his now wife were at back to school night last night. Very uncomfortable for everyone.

Lauren - posted on 08/23/2012

If you get along with the Mom & it's fine with her, I see no issue. If she's going to be a pain, contact the teacher to see if you & your husband can have your own conference at a different time. I know with my fiancée's ex, despite having a long telephone conversation where she did nothing but bash my fiancée as a horrible Dad the entire time & even though we agreed to try to get along for the kids, if I text her to tell her something like "please make sure you send back my son's shorts that your son borrowed this weekend" - she calls my fiancée & leaves him a message complaining why an I texting her & he should call her if there is an issue, not me. Some women love to make things difficult just to be difficult. The best way to deal with it is just work around it. Because of her attitude, I rarely attend functions where she will also be there. I think it's just better for the kids even though I think it's not fair to them & I think she needs to get her priorities straight (i.e. be more concerned about the kids rather than being mean to me).

Gwen - posted on 08/23/2012

I attended school functions. Dad and Mom always scheduled their own parent/teacher conference times, so I went to those with their dad.

Narona - posted on 08/23/2012

If I was you I would go to all his functions unless it was a teacher parent conference then I would find out from her to make sure she was comfortably with you going. At the end of the day it's about the child and I feel you have every right to attend his school functions especially if he wants you there. Good luck I know it can be hard dealing with a babymomma they don't always make things easy.

Stefany - posted on 08/21/2012

Well we all get along in front of him. I have always liked her but she is one of those mothers that will be nice to you but she just lies all the time her her own benefit even if it hurts their son. Also they live in two different counties and they went to court over which school district he should be in and the judge ruled in my husbands favor.

Dove - posted on 08/21/2012

Do you have a decent relationship with the mother? If so, then I don't see a problem with you being there... though I'd ask her how she feels about it. If you and her do not have a decent, working relationship then I would say to not be there and just have your husband fill you in on anything.

That is assuming that the mother will also be at these conferences, of course.