Should u have 2 pay a grandparent 2 babysit ur kids

Christy - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 190 moms have responded )

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My boy friend's mom is charge 1 of his sister in laws 2 baby sit her kids witch is her grandchildern. She told her she can't cause she is single mom, she has 2 pay the rent, & other bills on her own' Well the grandmother said that she will not watch them if she don't pay her. Isn't that kinda like chosing money over ur grandchildern. I got asked 2 baby sit on the weekends like the grandma, now she is mad at me cause I will do it for free, but their mom supplies thier breaskfest & lunch the 2 days I will have them. Thier grandma only had them 1 sat. a month, & 2 sundays a month thats all I am going 2 have them, & sundays they was at church most of the day. Is his sisster in law wrong for not paying her, cause she supplied the food & drinks, plus anything else they need. And am I wrong for doin it free!!!!

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Shakita - posted on 05/03/2009

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YES YOU SHOULD GIVE THEM SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE THERE THE GRANDPARENT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEYARE YOUR BABYSITTER THEY TOOK CARE OFTHEIR KIDS THAT WHY ITS YOUR KID

Esther - posted on 05/03/2009

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My friend pays her mother $1600 a month to watch her child while she is at work. That is approximately the same she would pay a daycare. I think there is something to be said for that. I don't think you should have to pay a grandparent if it's occassional babysitting, but if it's a standing arrangement, I don't think that's wrong. Also, and I know I won't make myself popular saying this, I don't think you should have children if you cannot afford to pay for them or if you have to depend on favors from others to provide what they need (and clearly they need more than food and clothes only, they need someone to care for them 24/7). This is why I'm only having one child.

Sherri - posted on 05/03/2009

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well i am a proud grandma and love every minute of it.....i would not charge if it was only on an occasion.....but if this was an everyday job eight hours a day then i would work something out with my kids and would also depend on cicumstances.....when it is everyday it becomes a job and i love my grandkids but i have also raised my kids.....i think to be fair to both of us we could come up with some kind of a plan.....certainly if my kids could not afford it, i would help. and definately if it was a few days a month i already see them that much anyways so y not babysit for free......everyone needs help sometime so dont feel bad.....just have fun with them.....

Jessica - posted on 05/03/2009

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If grandma watches the baby all day every day, I think she should get paid.
Other than that she should do it for free. WOW!
You are right. I help my friends and sister in law with baby sitting too and I would never ask them for money!

Denise - posted on 05/03/2009

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my daughter pays me for her 2 girls. i have them 6 days one week an 4 the next. i don't work cause i take care of them. my daughter makes me take money cause she says she would have to give it to someone eles an would rather help me. however if she is low on money one week an ask if she can pay half or next week than i say sure an if she just can't than thats ok to. it takes my time an if i have things to do than i have to find someone to watch them or take them with me. i raised 3 daughters an now i just want to be grandma not mom. its hard work. if i want the kids for a speacial day than thats my choice as grandma . i told my daughter if she has another one they have to go to day care. we grandmas get tired an need breaks to. i feel if its to hard to pay for daycare stop having children. i love my grandaughters with my whole heart but its still a job.

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Shannon - posted on 04/17/2011

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no your family family should not ask for money excpecally if she bring everything. you are not wrong at all. shannon

Rashida - posted on 05/06/2009

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OMG I have to pay my sister to watch my daughter. I think its sick b/c I watch her son for free. I don't think family should charge to babysit, unless they are saving the money for the child's college fund!!!

Michele - posted on 05/06/2009

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No your not wrong for watching your friends kids but you shouldn't fault granny for wanting to get paid. SHe probably really needs the money and if she doesn't want to do maybe that is her way of just saying so. Just because your a grandparent doesn't mean you have to watch your grand kids. I had to pay my mother to watch her grandkids.

Linda - posted on 05/06/2009

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Well this is going to sound like a conderdiction. As I'm raising my two grand children. And I don't recieve any money from the parents for child support. But with saying that...I believe there is a huge diffrence with baby sitting your grandbabies on a Friday evening for a couple of hours once in a while. And baby sitting while the parents/parent goes to work...I'm with the grandmother on this one. I think she should get paid. If she didn't have you, then she'd have to hire someone else. And I'm sure it would cost her alot more then the grandmother is charging....Also, because this lady is a single Mother, and more then likely not making a whole lot of money, she could get the grand mother to baby sit and have the amount subsidised through the goverment.

Sharmaine - posted on 05/06/2009

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yes I totally agree, when I have my grandkids its nanny tme, not babysitting, thats something I offer to do occasionally so the parents can have a night off, rememberits not 1950 when grandmothers were at home all the time , nannys work full time today and are wore out, plus alot of us are divorced so were trying to make a new life for ourselves and needour time also

Sharmaine - posted on 05/06/2009

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are you saying the grandmother gets food stamps?hello she needs the money!!

Caryn - posted on 05/06/2009

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My mother used to charge me money too. I know I needed her alot because I was workng and studying, but like your sister in law, I supplied everything! Nowadays she doesn't charge me, probably because I don't actually need her as much anymore, so she is always more than happy to babysit!

Shelly - posted on 05/06/2009

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Christy,

If you feel lead to watch these children and not charge mom for doing so then go for it and don't worry about what Grandma says...Just remember it's going to be grandma missing out on this time with her grand babys...And if she is going to be made at you for helping someone out then I guess she's the one that has the problem and needs to work it out within her self...I have 4 grand babys and wish that they close enough to watch them more...I go over any time she has had to go in the hospital either giving birth or for surgery...And I would never charge for doing this for her...

Shannon - posted on 05/06/2009

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As a grandmother I would not charge my children to keep my grandchildren, However I do know some friends of mine that feel that since they are not in a good financial place and feel that they would have to pay for day care anyway that this way they would get good care plus she could still pay her bills. But personally I think that is a subject that should be discussed and agreed upon before it ever gets to a situation like this one has. Hope this helps.

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Mary:

Junita...I am not being rude at all...I am just saying if you care so much about your grandchild then why wouldn't you be there to help when it is needed?? I don't know anything about these goverment things you are talking about and maybe this woman didn't either perhaps if someone suggested this to her it would help.

Of course I understand grandmothers have lives and jobs and any retired grandmothers prob don't make alot of money so I understand if they wouldn't be able to do it everyday! I just ment that I think family should be there to help out in times of need when they are able....If it takes severl different family members to help out then so be it....then maybe this woman could figure things out and get herself situated and maybe find out about this goverment help you are talking about.

In my opinion if you are asking a grandmother to babysit for you while you go back to work of course money should be offered and then it is up to the grandmother to take it or not. If you are only asking once in a while to get away or because you need a little time then sure it should be free. My mother told me if I ever need time for me to just ask and she would take Jayden for the day free of charge and his other grandparents do the same and that is how it should be.

all in all this is just my opinion and you are free to have yours. I just felt Terri was being a little rude in the fact that she made it sound like anyone who asks for help from grandmother is asking for the grandmother to raise their children for them when that isn't the case at all. I take care of my child just fine but sometimes I need a break and my mother is there to help for free.


And that I understand. For this lady to get childcare help she needs to go down to the Welfare office to apply for this help, sometimes there is a waiting list, but when I got it I made it on right away same with my friend who is on it now and started last year. I love my grandkids and will do anything I can do for them and there parents, I just can't do it everyday anymore. I live 45 mins from all my grandkids and try to spend every week for 1 or 2 days with them, I take them to the park, strolling them in there car strollers that I bought for them. For the older kids I like to take them to the movies and out for treats afterwards. There was once about 1 1/2 yrs ago one of my daughters asked if I could take care of my granddaughter for 6 mos, 5 days a week, 12 hrs a day, all I asked for than was for $10 a day which I turned around and kept buying her snacks and  toys to play at my house and when the babysitting was over I gave them all to her to take home. But when any of my daughters ask me to if I can babysit so they can go out for the night or weekend I would do it in a heartbeat, and for free.  I'm just trying to stand up for a lot of these Grandmothers, whose children they raised are saying it's there duty as grandparents to take care of ther grandkids for free everyday. If Grandma wants to do it for free and can do it physically than that's great, but I do hope that there children will find ways to thank her sometimes. I wish good luck to the lady who really needs the childcare that she will be able to get into that program, it is so worth it.

Mary - posted on 05/06/2009

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Junita...I am not being rude at all...I am just saying if you care so much about your grandchild then why wouldn't you be there to help when it is needed?? I don't know anything about these goverment things you are talking about and maybe this woman didn't either perhaps if someone suggested this to her it would help.



Of course I understand grandmothers have lives and jobs and any retired grandmothers prob don't make alot of money so I understand if they wouldn't be able to do it everyday! I just ment that I think family should be there to help out in times of need when they are able....If it takes severl different family members to help out then so be it....then maybe this woman could figure things out and get herself situated and maybe find out about this goverment help you are talking about.



In my opinion if you are asking a grandmother to babysit for you while you go back to work of course money should be offered and then it is up to the grandmother to take it or not. If you are only asking once in a while to get away or because you need a little time then sure it should be free. My mother told me if I ever need time for me to just ask and she would take Jayden for the day free of charge and his other grandparents do the same and that is how it should be.



all in all this is just my opinion and you are free to have yours. I just felt Terri was being a little rude in the fact that she made it sound like anyone who asks for help from grandmother is asking for the grandmother to raise their children for them when that isn't the case at all. I take care of my child just fine but sometimes I need a break and my mother is there to help for free.

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Mary:



Quoting Terrie:

I think you are absolutely free to choose whether or not you "babysit" for free, relative or otherwise. I think it is appalling that you would get on here and whine about a grandparent who would dare to charge. The grandparents are not responsible for the raising of the children you give us. It is our responsibility only to love and adore them
Yes I am a grandparent. I have 9 wonderful grand kids and one on the way. I have never "babysat" any of them. When they are with me, I am grandparenting. Just as you should all be parenting. Don't expect someone, even your own parents, to do your job.

And learn to use spell check before posting.


She's not being rude, you are!!  If a mother has a problem with childcare go ask the goverment for help, they do have childcare services, which they pay most of the childcare, I know that for a fact, cause there was a time in my life when I lost my son and my marriage almost  broke up and I had to take care of 5 of my other children and go to work to make ends meet on my own for a few years, till my husband and I got our life back together and he wasn't working ether for awhile because of the grelf. I did get the help for childcare services for free, two of my children went to Kindercare for 5 yrs, both even attending kindergarden at the Kindercare and when it was time to go to regular school they would bus them to school and back to Kindercare all free, meals and snacks included. I have a friend at the moment who has her 3 kids in Kindercare or your choice of childcare, and it's being paid for by the government free, she pays 0 amt. and that's happining now. Give Grandmothers a break and let them be Grandmothers and enjoy there grandkids and spoil them the way it should be. I too like to say to some of these Grandmothers who raised there own children the right way in being responsable with there life. When it comes to money why are you thinking older people who are retired make money, that's not true at all, if anything we make less money now then when we were working. Sure I would help out my Children with my g-kids if they really needed it, but not as a everyday babysitter, As we get older are bodies get tired and it gets harder to run around everyday after the g-kids. Let us be grandmothers the way it should be and when we can do it, (unless you really need us for a weekend, you need a day off, or on our time and it's free with love and enjoyment) But if we can babysit and you need us full time so you can go to work, yes you should give some money, it's going to be cheaper than regular childcare, unless you apply for goverment help for childcare services. We end up spending most of that money back on our grandkids, I know I do.



Wow you are a little rude aren't you??  I am sorry but I totaly dissagree with everything you said.  I don't look at my mother as a built in babysitter and I don't depend on her to "raise" my child as you say.  No where in this post did this lady say that either....this woman is looking for help so that she can work and feed her children I don't think it is to much to ask for the grandmother of those children to lend a hand whe she can with no charge.  How is that wrong????  If you love and adore them so much wouldn't you WANT to see them and help in the process??? 






My mother still works so I know she cannot take Jayden whenever I need her to and I am sure most other grandparents have lives as well but in my case I ask my mother if I need her and if she can she helps and if she can't I stay home.  I am a stay at home mom with no car so I can't bring Jayden on most of my errands with me casue it is just to hard to drag a huge carseat in taxies....so when I need help my mom is there for me free of charge and that's how it should be and that's how I plan to be with my grandchildren!!





 

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Patricia: I agree with you!!

I am a Mom to 4 kids. Between the 4 kids there are 6 grankids with 2 more on the way this summer. I quit my job to watch my first grandson while his parents worked. They offered me money to watch him if I would quit work. So I quit my job....they would have to pay a daycare anyway and that could amount to a lot of money....I would rather they paid me then to have to pay a stranger to take care of them. You never know what kind of people are taking care of them, afterall, you hear about child death everyday from their babysitters. I felt terrible taking their money but they insisted! They were so grateful that I would take good care of them with no worries while they were at work. They ended up having 2 more kids and I took care of them also....drove them to pre-school...outings for school...etc,etc. I enjoyed also being there for them and still do. As my other children began having their kids, I then got paid to watch them also...ACCORDING TO WHAT THEY COULD AFFORD! And I will also watch them for free on occasion depending what the situation is. But my belief is, if you do this for free then they tend to take advantage of you. I had, at one time, been watching 5 of the 6....two of those were babies only 5 months a part....and it wasn't a walk on the beach let me tell ya...but I would NO WAY have strangers taking care of them. My husband is retired and the extra money comes in handy....as another post said...I usually end up spending the money on the grandkids in one way or another anyway. I always have the shelves stocked for them with the goodies and so forth....or new toys. Since I watch them during the week I request that they don't ask me to watch them on the weekends....I do need time for myself.....again, depending on the situation. In answer to the question...I feel that No you shouldn't have to pay a grandparent to watch the kids occasionally....but if it is a full time situation, you would be paying someone else anyway so why not someone you can trust and have peace of mind. Just a little side note....2 of my kids live within very close walking distance so it's not like I never get to see these grankids. I love them all and wouldn't have it any other way. Grandparents should never be taken advantage of because the kids feel it's their place....that's ridiculous!


 

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Mary:

That is what grandmas are for. To babysit for free!


Not everyday!!!  Nana's  have a life too you know!!! They will do it on there own time to babysit, they raised there children already, why should they raise yours????? Nana's are there to help if really needed and to have Nana time to enjoy there grandkids!!!!!!

Tracy - posted on 05/06/2009

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sorry, grannie raised her kids.She doesn't have to raise anyone elses. I think a Grandparent should never be used that way. And they are being used. Having a child is a choice, you have to make sacrifices along the way. Its time for your friend to grow up.

Barbara - posted on 05/06/2009

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I happen to be a grandma, and I never asked to be paid for baby sitting, but I also got tired of being asked all the time with the thought I had nothing better to do. A number of grandmas babysit as a way to make extra cash to make ends meet. It is not a grandmas place to be the free sitter, when our children have children they need to make the necessary arrangements for child care. If the grandma wants to do it out of the goodness of their heart that is great, but I see nothing wrong with it being a safe and secure babysitter that charges either.

Kerrin - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Dia:

 I mean we are in a recession not a depression...


Recession = Depression... they just keep changing the name of it so people dont freak out and send us into an even longer depression. I watch my neice and I charge my sister in law to do it. No gramma and grandpa shouldnt charge you if you ask them to watch the kids once in a while but when it gets to be i need you to watch them this many days for this many hours, then yeah, why should they have to re-arrange their lives to accomadate you? Besides, your probably going to end up paying them less than if you take them to an actual day care.

Jamie - posted on 05/06/2009

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Yes! I feel that no one should do it for free. Taking care of children is a real chore. And you aren't really doing it for free due to the fact that you are making the mother supply their breakfast, lunches and drinks. When I was working and had no one to watch my small infant me and my husband decided to have my parents watch her. You figure they are giving your child their undivided attention, meeting their needs, I provided my daughters formula, diapers, wipes, then when she was old enough regular food. I know my parents would use the money to buy her items as well as for themselves. My daughter still goes and visits them every weekend. She loves to stay with them on Fridays and Saturdays. Now they don't want any money now but I do different things for them. I take them to their doctor's appts, shopping, provide extra food and will go to their house and help out with anything they want. Just remember life is too short to have all the fighting and bickering.

[deleted account]

Quoting Mary:



Quoting Terrie:

I think you are absolutely free to choose whether or not you "babysit" for free, relative or otherwise. I think it is appalling that you would get on here and whine about a grandparent who would dare to charge. The grandparents are not responsible for the raising of the children you give us. It is our responsibility only to love and adore them
Yes I am a grandparent. I have 9 wonderful grand kids and one on the way. I have never "babysat" any of them. When they are with me, I am grandparenting. Just as you should all be parenting. Don't expect someone, even your own parents, to do your job.

And learn to use spell check before posting.






Wow you are a little rude aren't you??  I am sorry but I totaly dissagree with everything you said.  I don't look at my mother as a built in babysitter and I don't depend on her to "raise" my child as you say.  No where in this post did this lady say that either....this woman is looking for help so that she can work and feed her children I don't think it is to much to ask for the grandmother of those children to lend a hand whe she can with no charge.  How is that wrong????  If you love and adore them so much wouldn't you WANT to see them and help in the process??? 






My mother still works so I know she cannot take Jayden whenever I need her to and I am sure most other grandparents have lives as well but in my case I ask my mother if I need her and if she can she helps and if she can't I stay home.  I am a stay at home mom with no car so I can't bring Jayden on most of my errands with me casue it is just to hard to drag a huge carseat in taxies....so when I need help my mom is there for me free of charge and that's how it should be and that's how I plan to be with my grandchildren!!





Thank you.

[deleted account]

Quoting Mary:



Quoting Terrie:

I think you are absolutely free to choose whether or not you "babysit" for free, relative or otherwise. I think it is appalling that you would get on here and whine about a grandparent who would dare to charge. The grandparents are not responsible for the raising of the children you give us. It is our responsibility only to love and adore them
Yes I am a grandparent. I have 9 wonderful grand kids and one on the way. I have never "babysat" any of them. When they are with me, I am grandparenting. Just as you should all be parenting. Don't expect someone, even your own parents, to do your job.

And learn to use spell check before posting.






Wow you are a little rude aren't you??  I am sorry but I totaly dissagree with everything you said.  I don't look at my mother as a built in babysitter and I don't depend on her to "raise" my child as you say.  No where in this post did this lady say that either....this woman is looking for help so that she can work and feed her children I don't think it is to much to ask for the grandmother of those children to lend a hand whe she can with no charge.  How is that wrong????  If you love and adore them so much wouldn't you WANT to see them and help in the process??? 






My mother still works so I know she cannot take Jayden whenever I need her to and I am sure most other grandparents have lives as well but in my case I ask my mother if I need her and if she can she helps and if she can't I stay home.  I am a stay at home mom with no car so I can't bring Jayden on most of my errands with me casue it is just to hard to drag a huge carseat in taxies....so when I need help my mom is there for me free of charge and that's how it should be and that's how I plan to be with my grandchildren!!





Thank you.

Mary - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Terrie:

I think you are absolutely free to choose whether or not you "babysit" for free, relative or otherwise. I think it is appalling that you would get on here and whine about a grandparent who would dare to charge. The grandparents are not responsible for the raising of the children you give us. It is our responsibility only to love and adore them
Yes I am a grandparent. I have 9 wonderful grand kids and one on the way. I have never "babysat" any of them. When they are with me, I am grandparenting. Just as you should all be parenting. Don't expect someone, even your own parents, to do your job.

And learn to use spell check before posting.



Wow you are a little rude aren't you??  I am sorry but I totaly dissagree with everything you said.  I don't look at my mother as a built in babysitter and I don't depend on her to "raise" my child as you say.  No where in this post did this lady say that either....this woman is looking for help so that she can work and feed her children I don't think it is to much to ask for the grandmother of those children to lend a hand whe she can with no charge.  How is that wrong????  If you love and adore them so much wouldn't you WANT to see them and help in the process??? 



My mother still works so I know she cannot take Jayden whenever I need her to and I am sure most other grandparents have lives as well but in my case I ask my mother if I need her and if she can she helps and if she can't I stay home.  I am a stay at home mom with no car so I can't bring Jayden on most of my errands with me casue it is just to hard to drag a huge carseat in taxies....so when I need help my mom is there for me free of charge and that's how it should be and that's how I plan to be with my grandchildren!!

Mary - posted on 05/06/2009

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NO!! That's crazy...It is like saying You have to give me money to spend time with my grandchildren. I know that My mother gladly takes Jayden every chance she gets and so do his other grandparents....If Jamie and I are going somewhere for a longer period of time than normal or if we had to go over night(hasen't happened yet though) I offer to give something but it is always refused.

[deleted account]

I don't think grandparents should be paid... but it is not unheard of to be married into a family dynamic that could (or would) expect some compensation. We provide my MIL with diapers, clothes and food (and a car seat). My parents don't require anything - in fact, they take offense to my providing those things as if I'm taking that "privilege" away. Every family (or culture) is different.

[deleted account]

I don't think Grandparents should be paid to look after their Grandchildren, my Mom wouldn't take money from me to look after my kids in a million years, she doesn't even want me to send them over with snacks & stuff (which I would prefer to do if she were looking after them daily). Even if I were to receive daycare subsidy, my Mom is the type of person that would rather I keep the subsidy than give it to her, she always says "You need it more than I do!" I was raised that family helps family!

Deborah - posted on 05/06/2009

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I babysit my grandchildren for free!! My mother used to charge me an outrageous price when she watched my children when they were younger.

Terrie - posted on 05/06/2009

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I think you are absolutely free to choose whether or not you "babysit" for free, relative or otherwise. I think it is appalling that you would get on here and whine about a grandparent who would dare to charge. The grandparents are not responsible for the raising of the children you give us. It is our responsibility only to love and adore them

Yes I am a grandparent. I have 9 wonderful grand kids and one on the way. I have never "babysat" any of them. When they are with me, I am grandparenting. Just as you should all be parenting. Don't expect someone, even your own parents, to do your job.



And learn to use spell check before posting.

Lauren - posted on 05/06/2009

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oh my gosh..when i need to go out without the baby(not very often once every few MONTHS) my mother takes my baby overnight for free. my boyfriends mom offered to as well but usually i just have my mom do it because she has a nursery in her house since she has 3 grandchildren that are still babies..shouldnt have to pay a relative or even a good friend..it's good that you're helping out i dont know what grandma's problem is

Sarah - posted on 05/06/2009

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hiya christy, no i dont think you are, i think the granma is way out of order, my mam has my 3 kids 2 days a week all day and feeds them just because she wants to spent time with them, and my inlaws will always babysit if asked and and every so often has them over night when they are free to do so just because they to would like to spent time with the kids, and when i was working full time both lots of granp ofter to help as much as they could as they all 4 work and when they did help me and my hubby out it was for free!. i think this women is greedy and and think your great for helping your sister inlaw out!.

Maria - posted on 05/06/2009

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Whatever happend to families helping out.There is no way i would pay any granparent.Its hard enough that these days that both parents have to work.Surely these granparents would know how its hard to get ahead these days.If anything I would be inviting them over for dinner to thank them but money.... NO!

Maria - posted on 05/06/2009

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Whatever happend to families helping out.There is no way i would pay any granparent.Its hard enough that these days that both parents have to work.Surely these granparents would know how its hard to get ahead these days.If anything I would be inviting them over for dinner to thank them but money.... NO!

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Lori:

I think it depends on the situation. If she is able to pay for babysitting then she should pay for it somewhere else and not expect family to do it, or expect to return the favor.. But if she can't afford it then the grandma should probably help out and not charge her along with other family members helping out. I am also a grandma and love my grandchildren more than anybody could possibly know. My experience has been that I have raised my children and the time I spend with my grandchildren should be fun not work. I don't have a problem with my children asking me to babysit, but we as grandparents should not be seen as babysitters. As for you, no I don't think that you babysitting for free is wrong, I actually babysat for my sister for free. Not only that you can take turns babysitting each others kids, and then you are both benefiting. Don't hold it against the grandma, she has done her raising of children and should enjoy her grandkids, not see them as work. I have babysat for my children when they needed it for a couple of hours while they work and never expected any payment, but they have not expected me to if they have another alternative. I think it might be hard to understand unless you have been a grandparent :)


Yes Lori your saying it the way I would say it. You are so right.

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Lori:

Thanks to adult children who understand the love we have for our grandchildren, and see the value of us babysitting, and not having to take their children to a daycare. Congratulations to your parents for doing an awesome job in raising you with respect!


Wow!! Lori, you said it right!! I second that!!!

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Elisha:

No way that is crazy!! I know my parents jump at the chance to babysit it means time with their grandchildren.. Sounds a bit odd to me - unless she is always asking and the Granny is trying to make a point?


Elisha, Sounds like your parents are asking on there terms to have there grandchildren, that's okay.

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

No your not wrong. That grandmother is, it should be a pleasure not a job.


Yes you are wrong MIchelle, It's a pleasure to have our grandkids on our own time, we have a life too. We raised our children up already. We are not babysitting machines. They gave birth to there children and they are responsable for them. If they have a hard time paying a childcare when they must go to work than offer grandmother some money. WE HAVE A LIFE AND WE DESERVE THAT LIFE,  as retired grandparents we only get a small amount of money. So just like you it very hard for us too.  We did our part rasing our children up. I will babysit when it's on my time or for emergency only or my kids want to go out for the evening or weekend, than Nana will be there and take my grandkids. If you can't handle having kids, why did they have kids? My grandchildren love me and enjoy being with me, I'm there to spoil them and have fun with them.



I had 6 children and I paid childcare for them each and everyone of them. When my mom wanted them than I would let her have them so that she can enjoy her time with her grandkids, and spoil them, that's the way it should be. Yes it's a pleasure to have them but not on your terms, unless it's an emergency, or we agree that you want me to babysit, i'll do it for a cheaper price. But that money goes right back to my grandkids for when I take them out, treat them at mcdonalds, buy clothers, see shows. A lot of these young people are not thinking correct. Wait till your children are grown up and your in our shoes, than come back here and write us another letter. To the lady who is babysitting for free, that's what she wants to do, Horray for her, that;s her choice.



 

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

No your not wrong. That grandmother is, it should be a pleasure not a job.


Yes you are wrong MIchelle, It's a pleasure to have our grandkids on our own time, we have a life too. We raised our children up already. We are not babysitting machines. They gave birth to there children and they are responsable for them. If they have a hard time paying a childcare when they must go to work than offer grandmother some money. WE HAVE A LIFE AND WE DESERVE THAT LIFE,  as retired grandparents we only get a small amount of money. So just like you it very hard for us too.  We did our part rasing our children up. I will babysit when it's on my time or for emergency only or my kids want to go out for the evening or weekend, than Nana will be there and take my grandkids. If you can't handle having kids, why did they have kids? My grandchildren love me and enjoy being with me, I'm there to spoil them and have fun with them.



I had 6 children and I paid childcare for them each and everyone of them. When my mom wanted them than I would let her have them so that she can enjoy her time with her grandkids, and spoil them, that's the way it should be. Yes it's a pleasure to have them but not on your terms, unless it's an emergency, or we agree that you want me to babysit, i'll do it for a cheaper price. But that money goes right back to my grandkids for when I take them out, treat them at mcdonalds, buy clothers, see shows. A lot of these young people are not thinking correct. Wait till your children are grown up and your in our shoes, than come back here and write us another letter. To the lady who is babysitting for free, that's what she wants to do, Horray for her, that;s her choice.



 

Elisha - posted on 05/06/2009

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No way that is crazy!! I know my parents jump at the chance to babysit it means time with their grandchildren.. Sounds a bit odd to me - unless she is always asking and the Granny is trying to make a point?

Elisha - posted on 05/06/2009

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No way that is crazy!! I know my parents jump at the chance to babysit it means time with their grandchildren.. Sounds a bit odd to me - unless she is always asking and the Granny is trying to make a point?

Juanita - posted on 05/06/2009

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Quoting Julie:

OK. I am a grandma, and also a mother of fairly young children. Aside from this, I am also a daycare provider, so my opinions may be a bit different! I would not dream of charging my daughter for watching my grandson...if it is occasionally so they may go on a date or run errands. If it were on a regular basis...yes!!! I understand $ is tight for most everyone, but if you are expecting grandma to watch your little ones so you can go to work...offer her something!! If you can't afford to pay her, clean her house, rake her yard...anything!! She is providing a service that you would have to pay a bundle for somewhere else, so she deserves SOMETHING! Never just "expect" her to take care of YOUR responsibilities. She has already raised her kids and is at the point where she should be enjoying her life! She (I'm sure) has many things she would rather be doing.


Thank you Julie: You said it right!!

Juanita - posted on 05/05/2009

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Quoting Lori:

Amen Julie! Responsibility is the name of the game! I love being a grandparent and helping out when it's my choice to do so, not to be an automatic babysitter! Grandparents have lives to!


Thank you Lori, Responsibliity is the name of the game!  Grandparents already raised there children, and helping out when it's our choice, or when it's an emergency. Grandparents do have lives too!  And I love having Nana times with my grandkids, we have lots of fun.

Juanita - posted on 05/05/2009

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Quoting Kara:

i pay my mom if i want her to watch them on my time. she would get them sometimes on her own for nana time.


I agree with your answer, that you pay your mom to watch them on your time, but when it's her time than it's nana's time.  And that's the way it should be. Paying a childcare costs lots of money and you don't know how well the kids are being taken care of, at least you know your mom will do a better job with her grandchildren. And will not charge as much as a childcare or another babysitter.  Grandma already raised her children up. Why are you asking her to raise your kids up and pay for them on your time. If you couldn't afford to pay for childcare than why did you have children. And if your not happy to give Grandma some sort of pay on your work time than go look for a childcare or babysitter. But don't get mad at Grandma. Wait till you become a Grandma before you really start talking about other Grandma's, be in her shoes first.  Grandma's are not being mean or sulfish, and yes they have hard times these days too living on SSA or living on small retirement money. I'm sure Grandma loves her grandkids and will do anythng she can for them, most of all when it's Grandma time I'm sure she really goes out of her way to do everything fun for her Grandkids.

[deleted account]

You truly pocess great devotion and you have a wonderful sence of responsibily. You are absolutely not wrong for babysitting free of charge. I don't believe that grandparents should ask to be paid for babysitting their grandchildren.......that is nonsence!!!! Especialy considering your friend's financial predicament.

Patricia - posted on 05/05/2009

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Family should not put that kind of hardship on one of their own. I am a single mom and my family and his family never asked for money because they knew I was struggling. with everything their payment was being with my daughter that is all they wanted. You are not wrong for doing it for free. Maybe it is because I was in that kind of situation and can relate to her. You are a sweet soul for doing that for someone that is not a full family member. The grandmother could learn something from your example. If grandma wants to get paid she should ask her son for it not Mom

Jodie - posted on 05/05/2009

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not u r not wrong for doing it free and yes it is like picking money over your grandkids my mum is the same. but my mother inlaw often takes our kids and dus not ask for a thing same people are just like that.

Lori - posted on 05/05/2009

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Amen Julie! Responsibility is the name of the game! I love being a grandparent and helping out when it's my choice to do so, not to be an automatic babysitter! Grandparents have lives to!

Julie - posted on 05/05/2009

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OK. I am a grandma, and also a mother of fairly young children. Aside from this, I am also a daycare provider, so my opinions may be a bit different! I would not dream of charging my daughter for watching my grandson...if it is occasionally so they may go on a date or run errands. If it were on a regular basis...yes!!! I understand $ is tight for most everyone, but if you are expecting grandma to watch your little ones so you can go to work...offer her something!! If you can't afford to pay her, clean her house, rake her yard...anything!! She is providing a service that you would have to pay a bundle for somewhere else, so she deserves SOMETHING! Never just "expect" her to take care of YOUR responsibilities. She has already raised her kids and is at the point where she should be enjoying her life! She (I'm sure) has many things she would rather be doing.

Lori - posted on 05/05/2009

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Thanks to adult children who understand the love we have for our grandchildren, and see the value of us babysitting, and not having to take their children to a daycare. Congratulations to your parents for doing an awesome job in raising you with respect!

Lori - posted on 05/05/2009

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I think it depends on the situation. If she is able to pay for babysitting then she should pay for it somewhere else and not expect family to do it, or expect to return the favor.. But if she can't afford it then the grandma should probably help out and not charge her along with other family members helping out. I am also a grandma and love my grandchildren more than anybody could possibly know. My experience has been that I have raised my children and the time I spend with my grandchildren should be fun not work. I don't have a problem with my children asking me to babysit, but we as grandparents should not be seen as babysitters. As for you, no I don't think that you babysitting for free is wrong, I actually babysat for my sister for free. Not only that you can take turns babysitting each others kids, and then you are both benefiting. Don't hold it against the grandma, she has done her raising of children and should enjoy her grandkids, not see them as work. I have babysat for my children when they needed it for a couple of hours while they work and never expected any payment, but they have not expected me to if they have another alternative. I think it might be hard to understand unless you have been a grandparent :)

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