Should u have 2 pay a grandparent 2 babysit ur kids

Christy - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 190 moms have responded )

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My boy friend's mom is charge 1 of his sister in laws 2 baby sit her kids witch is her grandchildern. She told her she can't cause she is single mom, she has 2 pay the rent, & other bills on her own' Well the grandmother said that she will not watch them if she don't pay her. Isn't that kinda like chosing money over ur grandchildern. I got asked 2 baby sit on the weekends like the grandma, now she is mad at me cause I will do it for free, but their mom supplies thier breaskfest & lunch the 2 days I will have them. Thier grandma only had them 1 sat. a month, & 2 sundays a month thats all I am going 2 have them, & sundays they was at church most of the day. Is his sisster in law wrong for not paying her, cause she supplied the food & drinks, plus anything else they need. And am I wrong for doin it free!!!!

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Natalie - posted on 05/05/2009

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My mom acts like she's doing me some ungodly favor that no one else would do if i ask her to take my son for an hour while i run some where. I havent asked her many times - - maybe 3 times at the most. She got a really big attitude around Easter time when i told her we were going out for massages and forgot to tell her dinner was afterward.

Jules - posted on 05/05/2009

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O.M.G. there are some serious grandmother issues here...sorry grandparent should NEVER charge for looking after there grandchild.....and you are doing the right thing.... x

Emily - posted on 05/05/2009

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id say yes to the grandparent expecting a payment if she was not having food, nappies and the likes supplied, but she IS family, and the grandparent, she is not being a nice person towards the children being money driven,

no ur perfectly right in minding the kids for no fee, if u baby sit when ever it suits all involved then all that u should expect bak in return is them to do u a favour some day ur stuck, ,,, thats the way id do things, hope that makes sense lol

Kelly - posted on 05/05/2009

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To add on, I do pay my sister to watch my daughter, but not as much as I would pay a normal sitter. She is 20, in school and drives an hour to get here. She never has asked me to pay her, but I know she is turning down other jobs or not working shifts at the mall because she is coming to watch my baby.

Kelly - posted on 05/05/2009

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When I was pregnant, my mother offered to watch my daughter a few times a week after she arrived. This has been a godsend, and my mother has never asked for money. If she needs something like diapers or wipes or formula, she lets me know and I provide them. Whenever my mom sits at my house, she stops for coffee on the way. I bought her a Dunkin' Donuts gift card (made online with a picture of her granddaughter on it!) and I keep it loaded with money at all times because I truly appreciate what my mom does for me. Doing little things here and there for my mom now is so much fun, because I know she would never accept money, but the occasional present or lunch is something we can both enjoy!

[deleted account]

i think the grandmother has every right 2 ask 4 sum money, they aint her children, i think sum parents take the piss out of grandparents thinking ther jus free childcare, at the end of the day shes had her children now its time 4 her rest and enjoy life.

Laurie - posted on 05/04/2009

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I have to agree with Sarah.. When I was able to be an at home mom I watched my brother-in-laws kids.. and was paid for it.. it was a way to help us out financially and to be able to keep the kids in the family.. and not in a day care facility.. I did not ask for any specified amount.. they came up with the figure.. I would have done it for free because I WAS home.. but they felt that would be taking undue advantage.. Although I am thier auntie.. I was also providing safe, educational, loving care for them while thier parents were at work. My parents would not ever ask nor would I as a grandparent (not yet) for money to watch the grandkids.. but if it is thier job to do so.. something I am sure could be worked out.. there is a difference between watching the kids occasionally and babysitting full time... it all depends on the situation.. for both ends of the debate..I hope that when my children marry and have kids.. that I have the luxury to be able to take care of my grandkids.. for free or for a dinner at the kids once a week!

Marisol - posted on 05/04/2009

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i am sorry to say, but that is a shame...in my family we don't expect anything for taking care of family...it should be a no brainer...i think it is heartless for a grandmother, grandfather, aunt or uncle to charge to take care of family no matter what the circumstances...

Sandra - posted on 05/04/2009

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Hi Christy, I don't think Grand parents should charge 2 babysit the grandkids as long as it's only every now and again & the grand parents aren't taken for granted. I think ur great for doing it for free, U seem to have a kind heart.. Keep up d good work girl..

Sandra xx.

Eve - posted on 05/04/2009

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ading to my previous answer... as a parent I look forward to taking care of my grandchildren (in the far off future) free of charge if the alternative is Daycare. In my case I would be offering to do it and not being asked by my children to do so in which case no payment is expected or due. :-)

Eve - posted on 05/04/2009

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Absolutely! Speaking from someone who actually paid a grandparent to care for my children. Not because I had to but because she did not have to help and I had peace of mind in knowing my child was being loved and cared for by a loved one. It also was alot cheaper than paying a Day Care Center. I feel if you don't you take it for granted like it's your right?!?! Is that really fair?

Holly - posted on 05/04/2009

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Quoting Saffron:

I think that there is probably a lot more to this than meets the eye, grandparents love looking after their offsprings offspring but has she given up work to help if so things might be tight for her, does the daughter in law take liberties and not abide by agreements made etc etc. I know my mum wouldnt take a penny from us but that doesnt make it right and she shouldnt expect to get her childcare for free. If she is as broke as you say she is more than likely getting child care help, why cant she give that to the grandma - that not her money to keep !!!!! Maybe the grandma cant afford to do anything or go anywhere to stimulate the chil or take the child on day trips without the money. Next the daughter in law will be complaining the child is a tv junkie or computer addict. Unfortunately not all "outside air" is as free as it used to be or as relaxing as it once was with drunks hanging around the parks we once used to play on with no care in the world. All i am saying is dont judge her !!!!



I'm with Saffron on this one, it all depends on many other facters. 

Marie - posted on 05/04/2009

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Hi,

I think you are doing a great job, those children need someone and their mom needs to not be worried about them when she is at work, the grandmother must be really petty and small minded, my in laws or my mother would never dream of asking me to pay them to babysit, isnt it payment enough to be with the children? You keep up the wonderful work and be good to those kids, they deserve it . You are being an Angle for their mother and for them, keep it up, there's a place in heaven for you.

Dianne - posted on 05/04/2009

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I have charged my daughter for watching my grandson. My daughter lives within the home here and she is 17, going to college, and I myself am struggling to make ends meet. She had offered to pay since she got Fed grants and loans. Now she has run out of money and I do not ask her for money but she paid when she was able to. I felt like it taught her responsibility. I also only asked $50 a week for 4 days of babysitting a week. In the case you mentioned tho - I think Grandma should have done it at no cost. I love all my grandkids and value the time that I can spend with them.

Marie - posted on 05/04/2009

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I am so appalled at this-- my mother or my mother in law would never dream of charging me to babysit, this is so ridiculous to me, isn't it payment enough to be able to spend time with the children?? I think the she is just going to have to get over the fact that you are going to do the sitting for free, it's her loss, in more ways than one. You're doing a great job, keep it up and be good to those kids, they deserve it.

Lindie - posted on 05/04/2009

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Just for a day a week or so, I dont think it is right that a Grandparent charges for looking after their grand kids. They should rather use that time and bond and play with the kids.

[deleted account]

She should not expect anyone to watch her children on a regular basis without offering to pay. Relatives may babysit once in awhile for free to give parents a night out but babysitting on a regular basis should be paid for. It is not grandmas fault or anyone elses that mom is a single parent and can't afford childcare. There are many government programs out there to help pay for childcare and if the parents income is low, childcare will be paid for through these programs. She should look into these options. I understand with feeling like you want to help out but you should be paid something for your time...if not money, then in service.

Mary - posted on 05/04/2009

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Grandma has a right to charge. She has to give up her plans in order to watch the kids....and watching kids is not easy. I have always paid my grandma to babysit....not because she asked me to but because I would not expect anyone else to babysit for free. If she invites them over to spend time that is different completely. Being a grandma, or any relative does not mean you have to babysit for free. Babysitting is a bigbi job and an important one, and having a good babysitter is worth the money it costs, no matter who the babysitter is.

Nedda - posted on 05/04/2009

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Definitely not! I am a Grandma and I absolutely love my Grandchildren and would never ever dream of taking money to babysit them. I would be offended if my daughter even offered me money.

Angela - posted on 05/04/2009

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the grandma is wrong,u are right.my girls grandparents do it 4 free.but i pay her auntie for lookin afta her.she picks her up from school,feeds her and baths her so i can work full time,because its family.

Terrie - posted on 05/03/2009

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Quoting Cheryl:

As a grandma I certainly don't charge my son to watch his daughter on occasion. He brings me something to eat or drink in return. However, I don't encourage the idea that I am available at the drop of the hat, and I do need to be asked because sometimes I will have to rearrange my schedule and need some notice. Grandparents don't mind being needed, but we do resent being taken for granted. I have seen too many cases where the children think it is their right to dump the kids whenever they feel like it, or the parents ignor the grandparents existance unless they need a sitter. Thats just wrong and tends to lead the demand for payment out of spite.


 

Sharonda - posted on 05/03/2009

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IM SORRY I GOT SOOOO UPSET ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION I DIDNT EVEN ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. NO YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR THEM TO WATCH THEIR GRANDCHILDREN. I GUESS YOU COULD IF THEY REALLY NEEDED IT THOUGH. BUT IT SHOULDNT BE ALL THE TIME. JUST MY OPINION

Kathy - posted on 05/03/2009

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Neither my parents nor my husbands parents would ever think about taking money to watch their grandkids. We do, however, take them out for dinner or get them a gift certificate when they gone the extra mile and watched the kids unexpectedly or for a lengthy time. They don't want to accept anything for it but we always make it seem that they really helped us out.

Becky - posted on 05/03/2009

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NO! I think it would be a nice gesture to invite them over for dinner for payment if they feel guilty for not paying- but a grandparent should never expect payment in my opinion.

Heather - posted on 05/03/2009

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umm i think unless you are using the grandparent as a daycare 5 days a week AND they really needed the money, then in no way should the grandparent refuse to watch their grandchildren unless they are paid. isn't that what grandparents are for!!

Amber - posted on 05/03/2009

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I think thats so stupid. the grandma should never say that they want paid for watching there own grandchildren. it should be an honor to watch her grandchildren.

Amber - posted on 05/03/2009

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I think thats so stupid. the grandma should never say that they want paid for watching there own grandchildren. it should be an honor to watch her grandchildren.

Tonya - posted on 05/03/2009

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except if they watch them on a daily basis...then I agree that they should charge...actually I would feel bad if I didn't pay something. but every once in a while then no..they shouldn't

Tonya - posted on 05/03/2009

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I think that grandparents should watch their grandkids for free. That is their own blood and they should want to spend time with them.

[deleted account]

I normally believe us as grand parents should charge to babysit our grand children.. but their are extenuating surcomstances...Times have changed there are now single moms that have to work or two income familiesto make enough to live.. We are to treasure the time we have with our grand children.. So if it just so mom can shop or just a night to exscape we should not charge at all But if you are the sole caretaker of two or more grand dhildren while mom works a 40 hour work week it doesn't hurt to ask for a little just to help with food or other expences the you pay for. but not full babysitting pay...

Maryann - posted on 05/03/2009

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Baby sit once in awhile no, but on a daily basis .you better believe it!!

I always gave my parents something for babysitting while I worked. I knew they would spend it on my kids anyway

Heather - posted on 05/03/2009

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My mother-in-law use to charge me for keeping my boys. However she used the money on the boys, either buying them clothes or whatever they happen to need. I feel that if the money is being spent on the kids then it saves a parent time going to the store but if the grantparents are profitting off keeping their grandkids, that's wrong.

[deleted account]

I normally believe us as grand parents should charge to babysit our grand children.. but their are extenuating surcomstances...Times have changed there are now single moms that have to work or two income familiesto make enough to live.. We are to treasure the time we have with our grand children.. So if it just so mom can shop or just a night to exscape we should not charge at all But if you are the sole caretaker of two or more grand dhildren while mom works a 40 hour work week it doesn't hurt to ask for a little just to help with food or other expences the you pay for. but not full babysitting pay...

Kelly - posted on 05/03/2009

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My mother-in-law babysits 3 days a week while my husband and I are at work. We pay her $100/week. However, she drives to our house, which is a good 35-40 minutes one way and she does housework (laundry, vacuuming, dusting, dishes, and a lot more) My dad watches her one day, and he refused money. I think it all depends on the situation.

Kristan - posted on 05/03/2009

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I had to pay my mom to watch my daughter too, it's too bad because I would never charge to watch my grandchildren.

Amy - posted on 05/03/2009

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No grandparents should not charge to watch their grandchildern. When my hubby and I went out of town they still watched them. But when I had an abussive home sitter my parents said they would watch my kids while we both worked. They never asked for anything in return but I felt necessary to compansate them somehow since they had them almost 10 - 12 hours a day 5 days a week. At first it was hard for my parents to accept it and what they did with that money was buy play toys for their back yard for the kids to play with. I was happy to pay them because I knew that my kids were well taken care of and LOVED!!! which I knew they would not get at a daycare center where it would have costed me 4x's what I was giving my parents. My parents watch my 3 boys until they were in middle school and I know that no one regrets or ever felt that they were a burden.

Angela - posted on 05/03/2009

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to clarify I do love my mom but she can never do anything out of kindness. Babysitting isnt even an option at this point as I get a lecture if I even hint I want some time for me. And for those of you who say dont have kids if you cant afford it. Well I didnt expect to be raising my kids alone. I was married and he cheated and the I was gonna get married and he cheated. I wouldnt have had kids if I knew I was going to be raising them by myself. But we all need help and kindness sometimes. I dont expect my parents to watch my kids. I dont go out every weekend, in fact I have had exactly one night out by myself in 8 months and that was to country kitchen for dinner.

Angela - posted on 05/03/2009

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Well I guess Im not the only one who has to pay. My mom expects to be paid what I would pay a day care and provide food for them. I am a single mom of 2, when my husband told me to leave I had no where else to go I went to my mom and dad. I statrd school had no money from the dad and 1000 a month to my name, She wanted 200 a week for my girl plus wanted rent. I ended up putting her in day care as it was cheaper. when I ended a 3 yr relationship with my second childs father due to violence and cheating, again had no where else to go. I had a good job and my mom and dad were struggling due to non payment of bills so I was paying $500 for rent and $360 every 2 weeks for child care. She only watched them on sun mon tue from 3-11p. She kept saying I wasnt paying her enough even though she got paid on time every time. and when I lost my job due to cut backs she expected me to pay her $80 that I didnt owe her because in her words " a real day care would make you do it and I deserve it." If I ask her now to babysit for me so I can go to dinner she tells me that single moms dont go out with men and that I do not need to go out at all, she didnt have fun when her kids were little why should I have fun. I guess she dosent remember me and my bro and sis going to our granparents every weekend giving her and dad a break. No There isnt always more to the story, My mother is selfish, and greedy. Everything and I do mean everything is about her. When I got pregnant with my second child she swore I did it just to shame her, that I am no good and I am a failure who brought it all on myself she constantly reminds me that I went out and got pregnant so I should have to be the one who dosent get a break. As if I pourposly made my EX violent just to inconveniance her. Some moms are just shitty.

[deleted account]

If this grandmother is having a hard time financially, then you should not mind giving her some money. Grandmothers are meant to be grandmothers and not babysitters. I don't mind having my grandchildren one weekend a month and I don't take both at the same time just one cause it gives that child some time for herself. Another thing is if grandmom has them alot and she is getting tired, she just might not be able to keep up with them.

Rebecca - posted on 05/03/2009

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As a grandma....I do NO charge at all. It is my honor to watch my grandchildren. At times I get to see the treasure moments of first steps, first tooth, first lost of tooth...something that while I was working my mother got to see...it is just a treasure and pure gift that now I get to see that. We are have custody of our 6 yr old grand daughter and I would never trade that or charge of that in amillion years !!

Genara - posted on 05/03/2009

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Yes, I think it is fair to pay the grandparent something every blue moon, but not a constant payn' period no. Thats their grand kids and they should keep them so that they can get to know them, but they should get something in return to. Times are hard but the grandparents are helpn' out.

Debra - posted on 05/03/2009

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As a new grandma.....No, you shouldn't have to pay gramma for sitting! However it would be nice to include snacks, food,diapers, wipes and so on for your child. ALSO please realize that while most of us are thrilled to watch the babies, help out when we can...we are NOT a dumping ground and it's not our job.....

Sherri - posted on 05/03/2009

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well i am a proud grandma and love every minute of it.....i would not charge if it was only on an occasion.....but if this was an everyday job eight hours a day then i would work something out with my kids and would also depend on cicumstances.....when it is everyday it becomes a job and i love my grandkids but i have also raised my kids.....i think to be fair to both of us we could come up with some kind of a plan.....certainly if my kids could not afford it, i would help. and definately if it was a few days a month i already see them that much anyways so y not babysit for free......everyone needs help sometime so dont feel bad.....just have fun with them.....

[deleted account]

Surely to God family should be thrilled at the chance of spending time with the kids and shouldn't charge for their time!!!?!!?!?!
That said, my sister in law charges me.... it's a weekly gig though so....
Anyway, grandparents are different and no WAY should they charge! If it were my kids, I would rather pay a sitter than a grandparent!!!

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