should we really look into adoption at our age?

Jenny - posted on 05/18/2011 ( 128 moms have responded )

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We have decided since I am no longer able to have anymore kids we would like to adopt 2 kids to add to our 4 kids we have now. I'm 39 and well not getting any younger and always wanted a huge family. Does this sound crazy or like something good. I just know there are so many kids without parents who want nothing more but to be loved-and to be apart of a family. We can financially afford to raise more and give them what they would need to grow into wonderful adults. I'm just not sure at my age if the agencies would laugh at me. Just let me know what you think??
Thanks, Jenny

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CATHY - posted on 05/19/2011

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Jenny. Wonderful parents don't "age out" of being adoption candidates, as far as I'm concerned. As the CEO of Angels Foster Family Network, we place many babies with foster families lots older than you and a great family is a great family, at 25 or 55! If you would like to find out more about our fostering program, please check us out: www.angelsfoster.org.

[deleted account]

I think you already know the answer...... they don't look at your age they look at your heart. My husband and I adopted when I was 53 and my husband was 42. It is wonderful. Go for it. They only can say yes or no. And if you don't will you think back with regret ? I think sooooooo......:..

Judy - posted on 05/19/2011

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I am 67 and my husband 69 (in July we add a year) and we have adopted children who are now 13 and almost 15. We also adopted two others but they passed away in 2006 and 2008 at the age of 33 months each. We adopt medically fragile, handicapped children. You are never too old to give a good home and love to children in need.
Good Luck. Judy

Kim - posted on 05/19/2011

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Jenny, I am 43 and in the middle of a divorce. My plan is to adopt a child, possibly even a teen, when my divorce is final. I think it is great that you are willing to adopt two. Please consider those kids in foster care and if that is your choice, take the time to read up on some of the challenges you may face. I think it is a wonderful thing to do, but obviously not for everybody. Good luck with your choice.

Judy - posted on 12/09/2011

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My husband is 70 and I am 68 and we are adopting a medically fragile, special needs one year old. We adopted 5 others when I was 58, 60,63 & 65. We would not consider adopting a "typical" child at our age but there are so many others out there needing good homes. Good luck and God Bless You.

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128 Comments

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Jamie - posted on 12/11/2011

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OMG You are young!

I think the cap is the YOUNGEST parent has to be 50. And that is just certain countries. Domestically I have seen older people adopt.

And my sister is 39 and just had her 5th child (biologically)

Anna - posted on 12/09/2011

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Are you still considering adoption? My husband and I, 45 and 42, just adopted our son in October and are loving every minute of it! We did a private adoption. Agency adoptions are restrictive and you have no control.
My parents were 41 and 44 when I was born. I have one sister that is 17 years older than I. It was "different" having older parents. My friends had parents that were closer to my sisters age and thought my parents were my grandparents.
I wouldn't have traded it for the world. My parents were more established, more patient and had more time to spend with me. They also taught me to be more respectful of others since they were older and came from an age where you respected your elders.
If you're still thinking of adopting and would like to chat, feel free to email me.
Good luck!!!

Kimberly - posted on 05/27/2011

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I know just how u feel. I have wanted another child but am single and have been for years. 5 years ago I decided to be a foster parent. Well 2 years into it I got a phone call for a 2 month old and I was 36 at the time. I was foster only and ended up adopting him a year later. He is 3 years old now and I am 38. I do think "can I do this all over again" since my older son is 18 but I cant picture my life without him in it. If its something you want to go and can I say do it. U will be glad u did. Good luck

Donna - posted on 05/26/2011

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i adopted a 4 year old when i was 38....and my husband was 44 through an agency..if you are willting to consider older children...it works out great agewise and agencies would love towork with parents who are willing to think beyond babies. it can be a wonderful thing....

Traci - posted on 05/25/2011

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It doesn't hurt to look into it and try.. The worst that will happen is they will say no.. Then you just look for a different agency. If it's something you wanna do and God believes it's right for you.. Then it will happen!

Amanda - posted on 05/25/2011

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i say why not. people that age are still having kids. if you can give a kid a wonderful loving life style then thats better than anything. my mom works for the county and there are lots of children put in the care of grandparents so they have a better life. you are not that old. i say yes its a wonderful idea.

Sherry - posted on 05/25/2011

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I was almost 41 years old and my hussband was almost 56 when our miracle baby was born. Besides the fact that older parents get tired out easier, there's nothing wrong with being an older parent and there are advantages, such as having more patience.

Kim - posted on 05/25/2011

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That is so great of you! I had my last DD at 40. I wouldn't think you are too old, but just to let you know toddlers are harder when you get older, all the running around LOL

Karli - posted on 05/25/2011

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Hi Jenny, When I was 16 I gave my son up for adoption and age was not a factor in my decision at all. I looked for financial stability and whether or not they could provide a loving home and good strong morals and ethics. I had my kids when I was 34 and 36 and I often wonder if I could have done this when I was younger. If the rest of your family is on board then go for it and make your whole family part of the process and you just may be able to provide a couple of kids with a great life that they may not have been able to get otherwise.

Michelle - posted on 05/25/2011

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I will be 43 in November and both my children are adopted. a 9 year old girl and a 16 month old boy. The boy was a bit of a surprize, but a great one. Yes i get tired quicker but they are so awesome. If you have the means and the want, i say go for it. If we could there would and or will be more in our house as well.

Eden - posted on 05/25/2011

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That's awesome..you should adopt..I have 5 kids but my husband and kids want to have more. A large family is fun and exciting..no dull moments. God bless you in your plans!

Mary Renee - posted on 05/24/2011

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I don't think they would laugh at you! I think a lot of women these days are waiting longer to have children and as a result, some of them wait until they find it's more difficult and risky to be pregnant and end up adopting instead.

I would maybe suggest you adopt ONE child first, and then if everything goes well, adopt a second. I don't know, I just say that because you already have four children. Five is a big family. After the first child is comfortable in your family then go for the second. I know the process takes a long time - that's just my total ignorant suggestion.

I also say this because if you adopt a child with special needs you might find you have your hands full with five.

Donna - posted on 05/24/2011

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No, it does not sound crazy and there are tons of kids that are not babies our there in the foster care systems that need to be adopted.

Lori - posted on 05/24/2011

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Hi Jenny,
I had a son 25 years ago and couldn't have anymore children. We adopted twin girls from India in 1999 and boys who are natural siblings from the foster care system in 2000. We were 46 when we adopted the girls. We've never looked back and they are truly a blessing. I was adopted in 1955 and my parents were 35 and 37. They were wonderful parents and I thank God for them.
Have fun with it.
Lori

Kyla - posted on 05/24/2011

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I think it's an awesome idea. I don't feel that you are too old at all. There are plenty of kids who need a home and a family and not just infants but older kids as well. I wish you luck on whatever you decide to do, but I say go for it.

Kathy - posted on 05/24/2011

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Hi Jenny, I am 37 and my husband is 38. We have 2 Bio children both girls age 15 and 12. We became Foster Parents 3 years ago and got a call 6 month into it for 2 little boys age 3 and 18mo. parents rights was terminated. We adopted them 6 Mo. later. We kept our license and decided to take a short term baby a year ago that was 8 Mo. old and we have now had him for 12 Mo and the goal now is adoption...he was not in our plan but we LOVE him so much, the only thing now is that his mom is Pregnant again and due in a Month, they said we would get the call to see if we want him as well...just to update that would be 6 children! We have our hands full with the 5 we have but we know they deserve to have each other so in a few weeks we will have a new baby boy! We hope and pray that we will get to keep them forever but with the foster care system there goal at first is always reunification, will be really hard to give them up! So if you are able and willing to help with these children that need a good home go for it! We did and we are 2 busy parents loving every minute of every day....they grow up way to fast!! Do your best and God will give!!! Good luck and my God Bless each of you!!! Kathy

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Hi! my name is Alisha, I was adopted at age 12 and my adoptive mother was 46 my adoptive father was 48. NO!!! i don't think you are to old. I think most agencies look at how well you have raised your own children, if you are financially stable. not how old you are. Adoption is so important, there are many children looking for good homes.

Donna - posted on 05/24/2011

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Age 39 is the perfect age for adoption. I was 60 and had adult children who had their own children. I didn't realize how much additional love I had to give. I am so glad I did it.

Ginny - posted on 05/24/2011

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Definitely go for it. 39 isn't old and there are children in the foster system who need loving, nurturing parents, no matter what age they are. There are also orphans and abandoned children and infants around the world who need the same thing. I say go for it.

Ashley - posted on 05/24/2011

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Do it! Nothing more to it then that :) You have the experience, and the ability and the financial stability for it and you are ready to take on the responsibility of 2 more kids, then go for it! They would be lucky to have you!

Lisa - posted on 05/24/2011

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Go for it!! I think the adoption agencies would love to place 2 kids with experienced parents who can afford to have them & give them what they need to be successful and happy!

Annabel - posted on 05/24/2011

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Why should they laugh at you.... I think it is a lovely thought... there are so many wonderfull children out there that are looking for new homes and families and I think you are doing the right thing. A friend of mine has just found out she has had a few problems catching with a baby and she mentioned looking into adoption.... So I say go for it... if your family members are happy to have more people join your family then yes go for it and good luck

Julie - posted on 05/24/2011

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I had to smile a bit when I read your question. 39 is no way too old to adopt. My adopted daughter is now 5 years old. I began to foster her when she was 6 weeks old. That means I was 44 when I first got her. And yes, I do believe I feel younger now than I did before she was in my life. So Jenny, as long as you and your husband are in agreement, go for it. The process can admittedly be a bit bumpy, but it is well worth the ride. :)

Eileen - posted on 05/23/2011

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No you are not to old, my husband and I just adopted two children and we are in our 40's Though we did not adopt babies! they were 4&5 and that made 5 children in our clan!! so go for it if you can!!

Selina - posted on 05/23/2011

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I say definitely go for it!! It's not crazy at all, besides, the kids will keep you young!! I am 40, will be 41 when our second is born & I would totally consider adopting a third if we want another!! Good luck!! PS - I don't think the agencies would laugh at you, there are so many children out there that need wonderful, loving homes & 39 is not old by any means!!

Lee-Ann - posted on 05/23/2011

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39 is not too old, I had my second son at 39 and my first at 37. Why would the agency laugh at you when you are prepared to open your home to 2 more children and in the process give those 2 children loving parents and 4 siblings to grow up with. Phone them and have a chat, I'm sure they would love to hear from you

Anne - posted on 05/23/2011

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Check out www.adoptuskids.org . I don't think any of those kids care about your age, they just want a family. I think it's great that you are thinking to adopt. I have friends they were foster parents (and have adult kids themselves) and they ended up adopting one of their foster kids that they got as a baby.
Yes, private adoption is expensive, but if you go through the foster care / social services system, it's free. The question is, do you want a baby, or can you handle an older kid from the "system" and all of the problems it might come with?
Good luck!!

Dana - posted on 05/23/2011

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That's wonderful!!! So many kids out there need loving homes,so I say, "Go for it!"

Keri - posted on 05/23/2011

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I don't think age should be a huge factor in adopting. If you are financially able to adopt I say go for it. I don't know how much research you have done, but adoption can cost anywhere from about $10 to $20 thousand dollars. Special needs kids can be easier to adopt, but aren't for everyone. Good luck.

Kim - posted on 05/23/2011

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I was 37 years old when we adopted our daughter. I think I was more prepared and have more patience now than I would have when I was youner. Go for it!!!!

Jennifer - posted on 05/23/2011

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Personally, I think it is fine. I think some adoption agencies have an age cut-off. Some are age 40 and some are age 45.

Rubi - posted on 05/23/2011

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Um 39 is NOT old. I'm 37 and due next month. I am even considering another after this one. 69 maybe too old but not 39 you're a spring chicken like me :)

Yvonne - posted on 05/23/2011

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I am 41 now and had my 2 year old when o was 39 I also have a 18 year old you are not to old to have another child or children matter of fact I feel a lot younger now with a little one around I think if u feel up to the task then go for it and give all the love you can I would do it and also thinking about adopting one since I got my stuff tied after my little one :)

Momof1 - posted on 05/23/2011

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I think it is a great idea. If you can financially support yourselves and children, why not? I always think to myself that I would like to adopt one day, however my husband doesn't really agree. Sigh. If you wanted to have more anyhow, I see zero difference in having your own or adopting. I'm sure you will be great parents and you will be helping out a couple children who may not have a good life otherwise. (And this is coming from a girl who was in foster care.)

Keysha - posted on 05/23/2011

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I think it's a great idea! If you have the ability to do it then you should. There are so many kids out there who need a loving home.

Dana - posted on 05/23/2011

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I was 45 and my husband was 49 when we adopted a newborn baby girl through domestic adoption!

Jackie - posted on 05/23/2011

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I'm 42, soon to be 43 and my husband is 40. We are in the process of adopting a beautiful baby boy. Our agency is Dillon International. Their website will tell you the requirements that different countries have. You are still young enough to expand your family! Best of luck to you!

Terri - posted on 05/23/2011

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Absolutely !! My husband and I adopted two beatiful girls thru the KY foster care system. At the time of the adoptions I was 45 and my husband 46 years old. Like you said, there are a lot of children in our country who need good loving homes. Go for it !!

Patti - posted on 05/23/2011

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Jenny, GO FOR IT...we were 52 and 53 when we adopted out 7 year old niece..she had been with us back and forth since she was 18 months old. Are other daughters who were 24 and 21 when we adopted her have been a great big sister support system..we joke that when she graduates from high scholl she will be able to go to college on our social security, but having children is a blessing..rather they be born to you or adopted...good luck on your new adventure and decision..Patti

Dorothy - posted on 05/23/2011

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I know how it is to adopt. I have adopted four children through the welfare department. We were told that if between the two of your ages it exceeds 80 your are not to adopt. That is the rule they had.

Shirley - posted on 05/23/2011

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I adopted my son when I was 39... It was a private adoption, but it was and has been a great joy... My biological son was 13 at the time and the year before our son of 5 days old died and we were told I shouldn't get pregnant again.. My adopted son is now almost 26 and he has been a true blessing in my life. His dad and I divorced when he was 10 and I raised him alone from then on and have NEVER regretted on moment of adopting him so late in life. If you are really interested in adopting don't let your age stand in your way. He has been a true blessing and I thank god every day for sending him my way. Good luck

Jane - posted on 05/22/2011

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If you want to adopt babies, there are plenty of babies in the US. They just aren't Caucasian babies. They are, however, wonderful human beings who can be a marvelous addition to any family.

Sherry - posted on 05/22/2011

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We have adopted 4 children and are in the process of our 5, we also have 4 birth children. The baby we are in the process of adoption is 20 months old and we have fostered him since he was 5 weeks old. i am 47 and my husband 53...You go for as many adoptions as you feel that you can handle....Adoption is wonderful and age is not a problem as long as you are healthy and love the kids :)

Katrina - posted on 05/22/2011

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My husband and I are on our 4th adoption and he is 43 and I am 53. We have adopted a sibling group and two individuals, a new born and an infant. We are in Texas have adopted all through Children's Protective Services, but they are linked with Associated Catholic Charities, Luthern Social Services, Spaulding for Children and DePelchin's Children's Home. You MUST pass a local, state and nationwide federal background check. Depending on the children, their ages and/or their circumstances the children receive from the state pre-k and college tuition and state medical insurance until they are 18. There are tons of support services available through post-adopt for the CPS kids and the adoptive parents. Some are concerned with "open" adoptions, but most of the time these are not an option, depends on the reason they came into care. It is truly a blessings to be a part of these children's lives.

Tuesday - posted on 05/22/2011

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If you feel you have what it takes, and that you are qualified, pray on it and get on it. The only things that can stop you are yourself and Gods Will.

Sherri - posted on 05/22/2011

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W O N D E R F U L!!!
My husband and I adopted late in years also. I was 41, and my husband was 44. We adopted a beautiful girl 5 years old, and 4 years later we adopted a 8 month old girl. You have our blessing.

Rebecca - posted on 05/22/2011

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We adopted our first child when I was 37 and we are about to complete our second adoption 4 years later which means I am now 41. I admit that my age gave me pause, until I realized how many Hollywood moms are having their first child at 40. Not that they are a role model for me, but I've decided that I am more emotionally stable and spiritually mature than many of those women so why let my age stop me from raising children who need a home. Only you and your family can decide what's right for you, but if you feel the calling and your family is of one accordm DO IT! :-)

Marsha - posted on 05/22/2011

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By no means are you old! A co-worker of mine and her husband adopted at 42 , when she was 42. I never met her husband as he passed when their son was 11 months old, but they had NO issues with the government or any agency giving them problems because of their age. In fact the judge who finalized their adoption (he and his wife who I know personally) also adopted later in life to add to their 4 biological children. There are LOTS of kids out there that need homes and I think if you are open to older kids, kids from other countries, kids with special needs, etc. you'll find the right child(ren) for your family.

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