showering/bathing with your little ones??

Jenny - posted on 11/10/2010

My daughter just turned 2 and I bath with her. I work full time so it's a time issue with me and she likes playing in the bath with me. I will say she noticed that daddy and mommy have different parts when she was 18 months old and still notices. I think it would be harder for me to take a bath or shower with a son if I had one. I think I would give that duty to daddy. Thsi is just my opinion, do what feels comfortable to you.

Rachel - posted on 11/10/2010

I have to strongly disagree that a 3, 4 or 5 year old is going to have a "sexual" response to seeing their mom or dad of the opposite sex naked. Asking questions, of course. Being curious, of course, but getting aroused, yeah right.

Trinna - posted on 11/10/2010

I have 2 girls and we shower and or bath together all the time I don't see anything wrong with that..but my hubby covered up when they were almost 1 and always does now.

Evelyn - posted on 11/10/2010

Christine,
I was asking myself the same exact question. I have a 5 and 4 year olds. We gave a huge shower area with multiple shower heads and the boys just want to shower together, but recently they have started poibed out the differences in our anatomy so i figured the time to stop had arrived.

Karen - posted on 11/10/2010

I think it depends on what you make of it....my little girls are 5 and 6...and at times, they still shower with Daddy. (It is usually because of hair washing, and to make sure they have completely washed all washable body parts...since they do that on their own...) They have asked questions about Daddy being different...for that matter, they have asked about me being different than they are as well...but, we just explain...Daddy is a boy...you and Mommy are girls...
While we do teach modesty and when it is okay to be undressed and when it is not, we have NEVER made being undressed a big thing. When they are uncomfortable with it, we may change our minds, but for now? I think it is just fine...

Shaye - posted on 11/10/2010

The articles that I have read say parents should not bathe with a child of the opposite sex over the age of 3 because even at this age, they could have responses that might confuse them.

Debbie - posted on 11/10/2010

We have a naked house too! Right now my 2.5yr has no pants on and refuses to arouynd the house,I Find her knickers scattered around the house, sometimes 5 a day. I was a very private person before i met my Hubby. He goes to the toilet with the door open, sleeps naked, even puts the rubbish out naked!!!! I shower with my daughter and love it, she loves skin cuddles (she was breast fed for nearly 2yrs) and loves the closeness. I am only starting to think about not letting her shower with me because she hogs all the water! Do what feels right. You will always get people who agree or disagree with things you do as a parent but if you do it the best way for you Im sure your kids will be happier.

Chenoa - posted on 11/10/2010

I think until you no longer feel comfortable it is fine. My daughter is 4 and we still shower together and it has not been a problem so far.

Stefanie - posted on 11/10/2010

3 is still a baby i say more like 5 that when they really start to notice the diff .but everyone has there confert leavel u no

NaNa - posted on 11/10/2010

You are on the right track, focus on the child not yourself. All children develop at thier own pace. My personal opinion is, when they develop curiosity, you can leave them to be curious without guidance or you can have input. Make sure they get the message that curiousity is normal and good but there are limits. So total openness is unfair to the child, they don't learn good social restraint and too strict sends a message that they should feel shameful about it.

Jennifer - posted on 11/10/2010

What I find very interesting Is that lots of people have said that when they notice the difference between male and female parts...who cares. What do they think they're going to do because they've noticed that?!? Regardless of the fact that when boys go to the toilets they can see every other mans penis in the room!

Jo - posted on 11/10/2010

Definitely by age 3 for boys. They really pick up on the differences and they really notice appearance and those body parts that are naturally attractive to males- it is totally natural, not programmed into them. For the sake of purity I think it is better to begin working on modesty issues between 2 and 3. When I say modesty, I mean respect for privacy and personal integrity of each one's body etc. "This is your body, it is special, we keep this part protected and covered to take the best care of you as we can- etc. so no harm comes to you and no sickness etc." You don't have to be too detailed because they take your word for everything you dictate for the most part!

Rosalie - posted on 11/10/2010

I think it's good to be open.
If he wants to shower with you then let him.
He will reach a stage where he no longer wants to, and that will be the right time.
Trust me, he won't want to shower with you when he is 8 or 9 !

Gayla - posted on 11/10/2010

My daughter took showers with me until she was about 3 1/2-4yrs. The main reason we stopped was because she was able to do it all on her own.

Caterina - posted on 11/10/2010

I think the recognition is good. I have one boy and two girls. My som is the youngest. We all bathed together till we couldn't fit in the tub!

Markita - posted on 11/10/2010

I personally was never really comfortable with it, but there were times it was more convenient. I think the last time my son and I showered together was when he was about 3 or 4. I would say follow your instincts. When he starts to ask questions or if you notice him staring then quietly stop.

Janna - posted on 11/10/2010

As has already been said when someone doesn't feel comfortable. My husband stopped being naked around my daughter when she was about 18 months. I think it was more an issue of him being self conscious than her being uncomfortable. She is 4 and still showers with me for convenience once in a while.

Susan - posted on 11/10/2010

I think it depends on your general attitude toward modesty. There are families that run around in their undies or less in the house and then there are families that have to be fully dressed at all times. It is a personal decision with no "right" or "wrong" answer. The fact that you asked the question means to me that you aren't comfortable doing this with him anymore. So your little baby has to become a big boy now.... Listen to yourself,,,,,

Jen - posted on 11/10/2010

Once he starts noticing that girls and boys are different - I'd think by the time he's 4. Or if you start to feel uncomfortable with it.. then just stop. Everyone is different with their comfort level and the situation. We do it because honestly our 4 yr old daughter hears the shower and before you can turn around she's following you in! It's awfully convenient I'll admit.

Patricia - posted on 11/10/2010

i think it's great the more mysterious and taboo the naked body is the more problems it seems to cause. you're going good i think with your instincts. i agree it's probably getting time. :-)

Allison - posted on 11/10/2010

When either my husband or I are having a shower, our 2 yo son will jump in if he needs to have one. Or, I will bring him in with me when my husband isn't at home. I feel it's safer to have him with me than running around the house. I also have baths with both boys (6 months and 2) because it's easier and safer for me to wash them. My 6 mo is really squirmy and I don't find it very safe balancing over the tub edge trying to wash him. ALSO, I believe that children being naked with their parents inhibits positive feelings about their own sexuality, and that it is healthy. I don't want our children to be shy about anything, and I also want to nurture a healthy outlook for them to be aware of what is and is not appropriate.

Lee Ann - posted on 11/10/2010

I agree with the statement that points out when the child starts to see a difference in body parts ect. I took a bath with my daughter for a little while but stopped around 19 months or so, she started to become interested in my body parts and asking a lot of questions, i answered her of course but i was uncomfortable, however im sure there is a big difference between taking a bath with your son and your daughter......but in all i think its a personal choice

Kelley - posted on 11/10/2010

I still bathe with my son, who will be four in January. I agree with others that say it's a convenience issue. For me, I can't lean over the side of the tub, due to back issues. And I don't want tub time to be solely put on DH. We're also a "naked house," lol. My son feels free to run around half dressed, and I don't mind a bit. It is frustrating when he starts to disrobe at my friends' houses, though. Most of them just laugh and know that he does it because he's comfortable there. :)

Jen - posted on 11/10/2010

My son is nearly 6 & we bathe together along with my daughter who is 14 months old. I was bought up to hide my body & feel ashamed of it & whilst still to a certain extent i am still a bit shy i don't want my kids to grow up thinking that they should be ashamed of their naked bodies! If you are comfortable being naked or bathing with them then they will be comfortable too. Do what feels comfortable for you & your child not what other people tell you you should be doing xx

Kelley - posted on 11/10/2010

My son is 3 1/2 and will still occasionally get in the shower with me or my husband. He pretty much just plays with toys or writes on the wall with his bath crayons and let us wash him. He also takes baths with his younger sister sometimes (she's about 10 months). He knows that boys and girls have different parts, but we don't make any big deal about it so for now everything's ok, but if he gets to a point where he starts commenting about it a lot or anything, then we'll probably stop. It's convenient for us to share those times, though, because we only have one full bathroom!

Heidi - posted on 11/10/2010

I think it's a personal preference. Eventually he won't want to so you don't have to worry about it. It's like sleeping with your child, eventually they want their own bed. Those days don't last forever. Enjoy the bonding time while you can.

Marybeth - posted on 11/10/2010

I had a friend tell me years ago that when her son was in the shower w/ her he was showing some intrest. I think he was about 4. My daughter always used to see me undressed.She actually drew a picture of me undressed in preschool. The teacher asked me if there was anything going on in the house. I called the big wheel of the YMCA @ the time and he blastered the teacher out. I was taken back by the teacher when she said to me that she had read something about molestation on the internet the night before.I had always volunteered in the school.

Deborah - posted on 11/10/2010

I have never bathed with my kids even when they were babies. I think once they start becoming more aware of things is the time to stop.

Kelley - posted on 11/10/2010

You know, I think it's a personal choice. I probably only shower with my son a handful of times in the summer when we're camping (he's 3 1/2 yrs). He hasn't said anything that I can think of in the shower or other times. I mean, it's a fairly regular occurrence that he busts into the bathroom when I'm drying off or using the bathroom. I just don't make a big deal about it. He has asked randomly if I have a "peepee", to which I've replied yes, but girls have a different one than boys. Who knows what you're supposed to say or do, but as long as you're comfortable I'd say don't worry about it.

Evelyn - posted on 11/10/2010

I don't think that its inappropriate. I have showered with my 2 yr old son several times to save time. He also showers with his father on occasions. He pays no mind to body parts, he's more interested in the shower and jumping around. I'd say go until you feel that you shouldnt anymore.

Karlita - posted on 11/10/2010

my son is 4 and i stopped it bc he was asking question so, if your son starts asking, or trying to grab then i would stop. you will know when it's time to stop trust me.

Andrea - posted on 11/10/2010

I think that once he starts asking questions about body parts. I would explain to him that you are different because you are a woman and leave it at that. I don't think you need to go into much detail with someone so young but I don't think it should be sugar coated either. I don't know if me and my husband being medics has anything to do with it but we always speak plainly about body parts and functions. I think that bathing with a child of the opposite sex would be a little strange after about 18 months. My husband NEVER bathed with our daughters. I wouldn't want to bathe with a son for too long. Of course I didn't bathe with my girls very often either. I guess I always thought of that as my time alone and I'd play with them while they were in the tub. I guess I never really thought about it...

Grandma Linda - posted on 11/10/2010

My opinion is when they ask about the certain body parts then it needs to stop! That is how we did it with our kids...

Susanna - posted on 11/10/2010

Hi!
I've never really thought about not showering with my kids. I've got a 3½ and a almost 2 old son. I'm used to showering with then cuz we use the sauna (Finnish steam bath) a lot and you can't let the kids there by themselves. I've grown up so that I've gone to sauna with my dad for a really long time, since he's always had the best songs to sing there. Never seamed unappropriated to me.

I'd like to dress up and change clothing alone, but don't mind when the boys come around to solve their arguments.

It's been funny to read opinions from different countries so here was mine.

Adriana - posted on 11/10/2010

We run a very open household, that is how I grew up and we still both shower with our 4 1/2 year old son. My mom was a nurse and so we learned body parts in a very scientific natural way and that is the way we have chosen to do it. When he has questions we answer them. I've never been shy to answer questions or deem them inappropriate. My son knows where babies come from (since now I'm pregnant) and we've never resorted to the "Gift from God" or mommy's belly. When his curiosity is satisfied we stop answering. Then again, my being Hispanic may have something to do with it, as opposed to my husband growing up in a Slavic home where there were serious limits and not a lot of conversations about sex, body parts, or sexuality. He is comfortable with doing it this way instead of letting our child learn all these important lessons outside our home in a way that we may feel is inappropriate or just wrong. It's just bodies after all, we all have them.

Jennifer - posted on 11/10/2010

If you are comfortabe with it remember that his curiosities are normal and not sexual, I wouldnt worry about it until he is in school and really noticing the diffence with boys and girls but it wont be until much later that he leaves you alone in the cammode anyway

Meg - posted on 11/10/2010

I only showered with my son on camping trips, when that was the only option for cleaning. I did this until last year when he turned 6. Then it was my husbands turn.

Jana - posted on 11/10/2010

My kids (boy of 4 and girl 16month) usually go into bath together and love it. Sometimes they want to take a shower with me...especially when we are on vacation, then the kids also might shower with daddz. we are really open and not ashamed of beeing naked in front of each other. why should we? we are one family. of course, i am teaching my 4 year old , that this only okay within the family and therefore we do not do this with "strangers"

Kelly - posted on 11/10/2010

When you feel it is right for you and your family. My 9yr old son takes showers by himself but still barges in whenever I am trying to have "me" time which is not that often as my 4 yr old daughter and 8 mo old son are usually in the tub/shower with me. It makes it quicker to get everbody in and out. Several times my husband has come in to say something or to check on us & my 9 year old follows so its party of 5 in the bathroom-lol. My hubby has stopped showering with my daughter because she prefers baths with mom. We have never been shy about our bodies & don't act ashamed of them. When questions are asked, we give appropriate answers for the age of that child. I think when it is hidden or you act embrassed/scoot around the questions you will have more problems in the long run. My 9yr old sees nothing wrong with a woman breastfeeding as well-girl parts are not a curiosity or a "giggle" thing with him because it has never been taboo in our house. God made us each differently and we are to love ourselves and everyone else. :)

Karlal - posted on 11/10/2010

I think the time is now. When you start to question your actions.

Linda - posted on 11/10/2010

I had twin girls.. so they were always in the tub together. I never had to make that decision. I agree with the general concensus... you'll know when it's time for a change. My girls bathed together until about 5 when they wanted to start taking a shower instead. That put the skids to them being in there together! :)

Jasmine - posted on 11/10/2010

I dont quite understand how bathing with a child is inapropriate, i've bathed with my son for a year, its easier, as he likes to splash, i may as well bath with him as im going to get drenched anyway. I agree with Aura Oosterveld.

Miren - posted on 11/10/2010

We have never much showered with our kids, but we all wander around naked and in and out of the bathroom when someone is in the shower. My daughter who is 11 and whose body is starting to change now still invites me in to the bathroom to chat while she is showering. Tonight she was showing me the hair growing in her armpits and telling me how gross she thinks it is. It's all about what you as a family are comfortable with.

Amy - posted on 11/10/2010

It's hard to get privacy esp. with DH working all the time. I will take a shower with DD 3 and DD 1 and my gut told me that DS 6 wants privacy now. He says he wants to hog the hot water now to himself. lol! It would be a bit embarrassing if he made some mommy parts comments to his teacher kwim?

Tahlia - posted on 11/10/2010

I stopped with all my kids at the age of 3. I look at them as a little person and find it uncomfortable once I view them that way.

Helen - posted on 11/09/2010

I would say as long as they are comfortable and they are. My 2 youngest are 3 and 6 they often have a bath together but that is already changing but only because my 3 year old son wants the whole bath to him self.
They actually got in the shower with there 15 year olf sister and there was no problems. Dont make a big of any of it and just go with the flow.

Alisha - posted on 11/09/2010

Also, I think if the child is still innocent to body part differences, then it's not a big deal. When they start commenting, then I think it's time!

Alisha - posted on 11/09/2010

I stopped showering with my daughter when she was about 3 I think, she's almost 5 now. She just started making too many mommy body part comments and I didn't want her to anymore! I think whenever you think is fine, except when/if you go camping you will probably have to shower together then because otherwise it's nearly impossible! My daughter prefers baths anyways but today she did want to take a shower with me which she never asks but I told her no.

Dee - posted on 11/09/2010

I sometimes will shower with my 7 year old daughter and 3 year old son when we get out of the swimming pool because we are all freezing when we run into the house and want to get a quick shower and get dried off. I figure it's just easier to soap everybody's heads up at the same time. Save water, soap and time..LOL My kids just stopped taking baths together this year because my son would splash too much and then my daughter would yell at him. My husband is different. He has taken a shower with our son a couple of times, just for fun, because our son asked him if he could take a big boy shower with dad. LOL. I understand the "No privacy" thing too. I grew up in a family with 5 kids so it felt like there was never any privacy and I think we all turned out ok...LOL Depends on who you ask, I guess. LOL I decided recently not to take any more showers with my son because he just started noticing differences in our bodies so I just made the decision that I didn't want to do that anymore. I think it's all up to what you are comfortable with and the kids. They have a natural curiosity and are going to ask questions at some point. Guess I just didn't want to go into all of that with him yet. :-) Good question.

Yvonne - posted on 11/09/2010

wow its really cool to hear that so many of you shower with your kids, especially boys, I shower with the 2yr 8mnth old son because its practical for me, when we get home from work/daycare. My son merrily plays with his toys, doesn't really care about me being naked. my husband walks around naked quite often so nudity is now "frowned upon at home". I'd say go with it until you get uncomfortable.