Showering with son?

Hilary - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 199 moms have responded )

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I have brought my son in the shower with me since he was a newborn but now that he is almost 2 yrs old I am wondering when I should stop doing this. I'm concerned of injuring his psyche with having a memory of his mother naked. As this was never a concern with my girls, I'm very lost on this issue and would really appreciate your input.

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Natalie - posted on 01/27/2010

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I don't shower with my son and my husband does it sometimes with him when he cuts his hair.

I don't think it traumatizes children to see their parents naked. It's a natural thing and we shouldn't teach them that our body is something to be ashamed of.



My son is 4 and my daughter is 2. I do not close the bathroom door when i shower and when i get dressed i leave the door open a little bit so i can hear what's going on in the living room while i'm not there. They both do come in and ask me or tell me something but they think it's a natural thing.



They do know the body parts and that girls and boys are different and that no one is allowed to touch their privates and if anyone ever does to let us know.



Other than that i see nothing wrong with it. America is just too prude. You can sex small kids up, dress them sexy and see sex related things on tv but yet it's not ok to let your kids see you naked? Hm... that makes no sense to me.



I never had a problem with nakedness. My mother also thought it was natural and nothing to be shamed of.. am i traumatized? Heck no. Now, if i would've seen my parents in the act of sex then YEAH, i probably would be traumatized, lol. my husband walked in once on his parents when he was little and he still remembers it.

Now, we always lock our door

Cherelle - posted on 01/28/2010

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To Gloria Gosse, with your reply of "Um no. Not appropriate. Kids of any age do not belong in the shower or bath with yoou and don't belong in your bedroom Neither should you go in the bathroom unannounced once they are old enough to have a bath by themselves. Respect each other privacy."

How dare you. Children are an essential attachment to the parent for at least the first year or 2 after birth because they are so dependant, and no child is ever harmed by being in the shower naked with their parent. I used to shower with my parents, i bathed with my son, and I will do it with any other children i have. Why? A) its convinient and lets you both ahve time for a shower, B) its alone time to have individual time with that child, C) they love it. Because you are so adverse to the idea you have obviously missed some of the most gleeful squeels a child can make; when they realise they are about to go for a shower with their parent.

As to children not belonging in the bedroom, popey! Would you leave your newborn in a seperate room where you cant hear them cry, and dont know whats happening to them? Its natural that you sleep,shower and eat with the child, not inapropriate. Im sorry to say it, but how prudish. I grew up on a farm, and while we all knew what parts were what and what was allowable and what was wrong, my 3 brothers, my sister and i used to run around naked and play in the sprinklers outside until we were about 8. There is nothing wrong or indecent about it at all, and its a shame that you will teach your children to hide their bodies.

Tiffany - posted on 01/27/2010

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I bring my son into the shower with me all the time. He is almost 3. He will be 3 Feb 9th. We have always been very open with our children and instead of hiding the naked body we just go about our business. If we showered we would walk over to the bedroom to get our clothing. I dont want my children to think being naked is a bad thing or that there is something to be ashamed about because you are naked. You should be proud of your body no matter what. That is what i want them to believe. (And i believe there is a difference in being proud of your body and flaunting your body ;) )You come into the world that way soooo.... I try not to make a big deal out of being naked. However, I do think that when they are old enough to be aware of the difference in male and female and they start asking questions that it would be time to stop.

Cristy - posted on 01/27/2010

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By the way I always thought it was weird when I was a kid if other kids didn't know what a penis or vagina looked like. Also, I think children being aware of their sexual organs makes it easier for you to discuss things later on about sex and to open up a dialogue about bad touching and not letting others touch you in certain places or not touching others in their private places.

Mary - posted on 01/30/2010

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Some of you seem to have taken offense at my comment that you are a wife first and a mother second. I meant no offense. I'm a 50-year-old woman with seven children, most of whom are out of my home. I've just seen too many marriages wrecked because hubby went off with someone else because wife put kids first. - too many women depressed and purposeless when their kids leave home because their kids were their entire identity. -too many mamas estranged from kids because they couldn't let go at the appropriate time and, according to the kids, butt into their children's marriages and child-rearing choices. - too many parents who felt like failures when their children chose to do something they would never have chosen for them. -too many marriages that split up when the nest emptied because they no longer KNEW their spouse. This saddens me. I wouldn't want any of you to experience these things. That's why I said what I did. I'm not saying neglect your children. Far from it. But you were a wife (I guess some of you aren't married, so it doesn't apply to you.) before you were a mother and, hopefully, will be after your kids leave home.

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Jolene - posted on 02/01/2010

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I disagree.

I have nursed all 5 of my children, I also run an in home day care, and the children that stare and made me feel embarrassed are the 'few' children whose parents were overly concerned about their children seeing them naked. I did not ever nurse openly and always had a small cloth covering me, but the few boys, who had never seen their mommy made me very uncomfortable, with them trying to see what was going on, or look under neath, or between the blanket and my arm. I would have to tell them to GO play please.

I am a very private person, but if my children walk in on me in the bathroom, tough luck for them, I will holler and say NAKED to give them fair warning, but most of the time they continue in with their eyes shielded. We have never been one to make a big deal of the naked body, it is just that naked.

My children are all grown now but they never had a curiosity about the opposite sex because they saw what the opposite sex looked like. They always knew that family living in the same home seeing each other naked, due to the fact you walked in on them, was DIFFERENT. That anyone, related or not, telling you or wanting you to see/look at them naked is WRONG! It is all about teaching correct principles.

We showered with my children, on occasion, because we were vacationing, trying to hurry it along, or because we were paying per shower use, but never after about age 3.

I agree with the time to stop is when they start staring, or asking.

My father died when I was young but I remember walking in on my mom dressing on different occasions and being embarrassed, but it never scarred me. And like my children, I would just continue to tell her what ever I had wanted in the first place.

CHERYL - posted on 02/01/2010

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I stopped taken my son in the shower when he was 2, That is when he noticed things then,

Yes it was easy to shower with him until then, but I knew he was getting to old just like my girls was. I stopped when they was about 2 also.

Emma - posted on 02/01/2010

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I just wanted to point out that children who bathe/shower with parents at a young age do not go around pointing and grabbing everyone they meet! My son started getting in the shower with me when he was too big for the baby bath. When he was 4 he started having showers on his own with me there to wash his hair because he wanted to be a big boy. He asked questions and got his answers and has never tried to touch me in private places. Kids can see the difference between being comfortable in your own skin at home and being modest around others. When he was 4 he got a sore swollen penis from an infection and I took him to see the nurse, he was embarrassed about pulling down his pants in front of a stranger but I explained that when you are ill you have to be examined to find out how to make you better. Also when getting changed for swimming lessons he is discreet and will go in a cubicle if there is one available.



I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids don't have to be either exhibitionists or ashamed of their bodies and freaked out by others, there is a middle ground

Emma - posted on 02/01/2010

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I just wanted to point out that children who bathe/shower with parents at a young age do not go around pointing and grabbing everyone they meet! My son started getting in the shower with me when he was too big for the baby bath. When he was 4 he started having showers on his own with me there to wash his hair because he wanted to be a big boy. He asked questions and got his answers and has never tried to touch me in private places. Kids can see the difference between being comfortable in your own skin at home and being modest around others. When he was 4 he got a sore swollen penis from an infection and I took him to see the nurse, he was embarrassed about pulling down his pants in front of a stranger but I explained that when you are ill you have to be examined to find out how to make you better. Also when getting changed for swimming lessons he is discreet and will go in a cubicle if there is one available.



I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids don't have to be either exhibitionists or ashamed of their bodies and freaked out by others, there is a middle ground

Emma - posted on 02/01/2010

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I just wanted to point out that children who bathe/shower with parents at a young age do not go around pointing and grabbing everyone they meet! My son started getting in the shower with me when he was too big for the baby bath. When he was 4 he started having showers on his own with me there to wash his hair because he wanted to be a big boy. He asked questions and got his answers and has never tried to touch me in private places. Kids can see the difference between being comfortable in your own skin at home and being modest around others. When he was 4 he got a sore swollen penis from an infection and I took him to see the nurse, he was embarrassed about pulling down his pants in front of a stranger but I explained that when you are ill you have to be examined to find out how to make you better. Also when getting changed for swimming lessons he is discreet and will go in a cubicle if there is one available.



I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids don't have to be either exhibitionists or ashamed of their bodies and freaked out by others, there is a middle ground

Nicole - posted on 02/01/2010

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I have 2 boys and that is about the age I stopped showering together. I knew it was definelty time to stop when he was asking questions about my breasts and private area and trying to touch my breasts and asked me "mom, where is your penis?" It was funny but I maturely educated him that boys and girls are different and that was the last shower together. I believe it is VERY important to teach privacy and not to run around naked and have other "see you" not even siblings only unless it is mommy or daddy! Time to start teaching modisty in the kids.

Blu - posted on 02/01/2010

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@Janaye-They know bc we teach them. My daughter's father doesnt take baths with her bc he is not a very affectionate person. Ive always seen my mothers and sisters naked and it never bothered me.



I know alot of grown mean and women who are uncomfortable with their bodies bc they were taught that there was something wrong or sinful about being naked. My daughter will be 1 in a wk. She watches me take shower (not with me bc the water at our apt is too finicky) and use the bathroom. I use this time to show her how to wash or use the potty.

Soleil - posted on 02/01/2010

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I took a bath with my son until he started asking questions and noticing our differences... I don't know that it will damage his psyche to see you naked, I think it's just a matter of how comfortable you are with what he sees.

[deleted account]

I shower with my son who is 3 years old. As does my husband. He is well aware of girl and boy body parts. I started this out of convenience when he was a baby. Now it is to help him develop his confidence in who he is as a human male and not be afraid of his sexuality as he gets older. It will also develop his bond and trust with us. He will feel comfortable coming to talk to us as he gets older about things that most families feel are taboo. I see nothing wrong with it. Parenting these days is a lot different then when our parents raised us. Once we get our heads around that then maybe society on a whole will be able to accept alternatives to raising intelligent respectful children.

Norma - posted on 02/01/2010

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I never showered with my kids, But, I think as long as the child isn't trying to reach out and touch or point that is a sign its time to stop. But i do agree that my showers where always my time, I used to place my kids in a seater or playpen, basinette in the door way so i can shower, I give you all a pat on the back rofl i couldn't hold a child while trying to wash lol my kids where the ones that needed to he held. If hubby was home he was mom/slash dad while i had my bath time lol. But i think around age 3 is a good time to start getting them to shower alone. teach them early to wash there privates and slowly alone while you sit near by on the toilet or chair while they do it. I dont see a problem with it under age 3, age 3 they are more aware of there parts and curious to ask and touch anything and everything. As for the coment of knowing proper names for there parts my kids have known that since they where able to speak. I didn't give pet name for body parts. Dont listen to all the negative people who post, its your choice and you know your child. there is never a merical age for alot of stuff. but signs are there, pointing, trying to touch, asking questions or stairing all good signs its time to stop. I do agree with JaNaye Bridges about teaching kids privacy at a young age reason why i never showered bathed with my kids but i dont judge other cause they dont have same beliefs. Beauty about parenting we all dont have to agree haha no magic perfect parent.

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2010

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I have 2 boys one is 16 months the other is 28 months and either my husband or I almost always shower with them. It takes way to long to bathe two boys separately and I can't leave them alone to shower if they are awake so I just take them in. My two year old knows that boys and girls have different parts and he knows the names of the parts. He also knows that he isn't allowed to touch other peoples parts. I don't think it's weird unless the adult makes it weird. At some point your child will want their independence and won't want to shower with mommy or daddy and I think that is the point when it is over. Either that or when it feels weird to mommy or daddy.



Oh and I also showered with my parents when I was little. I vaguely remember what they look like naked and I am not warped because of it. It is really a non-issue for me. It isn't sexual it is just a body.



Good luck and just follow your instinct. Don't worry about others just do what feels right to you.

Shoni - posted on 02/01/2010

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I showered with my son until he started asking questions about my parts. I answered his questions with a simple answer and then changed the subject. That was the last shower we had together and he was about 3 years old. It really depends on how open you are about answering questions about the human body.

[deleted account]

I usually try to put myself in my kids shoes when i make decisions. I don't remember much before the age of 3 1/2 and would i have wanted to take showers with my mom and dad past that age??!! Nope, very thankful i have no recollection of what they looked like naked. There are so many wonderful ways to bond with your children other than showering together. If your questioning it, seems like it's starting to feel uncomfortable.

Michelle - posted on 02/01/2010

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I have two children my son is 9 and my daughter is 6, they have both showered with me and their father since they were born. We just recently, within the last year, started no coed showers. Neither of my children ever had an issue with it. My husband found that showering with my daughter became a bit odd when her height was just too "right on" when he was in the shower with her. (her line of sight was right at his private area) My son just found himself wanting a bit more privacy, this also came with wanting his own Boy shampoo and body wash. Privacy, not from me but I think from his sister. We have always been pretty open with the fact that boys have boy parts on the outside and girls have girl parts on the inside. Unfortunately we have never used the Proper terms for their parts so this is where I am still trying to figure out how to work that in. My friend suggests be "matter of fact" from the beginning. You have a knuckle, you have a penis, you have a nose. I wish I would have known her sooner. So after all of this I guess it depends on your family and your child, but there is nothing wrong with it as long as everyone is respectful of each other. I guess watch his reaction to showering with you. If he shows signs of too much interest or distaste for it, move to private bathing. He most likely will ask, look and possibly try to touch,"teaching moments" this is mommy's (insert identification word of choice), this is only for mommy. This is your (insert word) this is only yours and mommy and daddy help you wash it until you are big enough to do it yourself. Hope maybe some of this helps. Good luck

[deleted account]

I guess this is totally CULTURAL - similar to breast-feeding time limits. Or even the bottle time limits. My doctor just said to take my daughter off the bottle at 2 years almost, while I went a toddler birthday party shortly after and saw a Hispanic Mom with her 3 year old son on a bottle. So...having said that...I was a bit uncomfortable when I read this. But its just me. I do occassionally take a bath with bubbles w/ my daughter; at 22 months she thinks its funny when Mommy jumps in, but my husband does NOT. He does bathe her, but she's NEVER seen him naked, etc. Maybe Americans are too prude. Maybe with so much of this "Nancy Grace" culture of "Oh MY God...you're going to jail"...who knows...I don't know.



What I can say...is that IF you are questioning it, then maybe its time to revamp or rethink what you are often. In life, I've found that we KNOW what we should do. Your heart has already told you. Your son can bathe on his own assisted. There is nothing wrong with drawing him a bath and you sitting on the side of the tub, that's how we bathe our daughter about 99% of the time. She gets in w/ her toys and we sit on the side or we fold clothing in the bedroom while watching her play and splash, etc. Do what you feel in your heart...no mom can tell you right or wrong. As I said, I don't typically bathe with my daughter, but if you feel its RIGHT for you, then go for it. I probably would be very upset to read this IF the boy was 10 years old, when I believe boys are questionning or learning about their own sexuality. Then it would seriously bother me. BUT...I think up to 3 years old is probably okay!!!! To me....

Chantell - posted on 02/01/2010

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In the privacey of you own home you and your family should feel free to be however you want.I the child is happy then just enjoy the freedom. There is nothing wrong with the naked body and everything it does. We can protect our children without making them feel afraid or shamed. The two issues don't go togther.

Emma - posted on 02/01/2010

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No child is going to be traumatised if they are happy at the time, let them decide when they are ready to shower on their own and they will be fine.



I really don't understand why some have such a problem with nudity. If you don't teach your children appropriate behaviour and talk to them you put them at risk. Do you really want someone else telling them what they think when they are on a school trip or a sleepover?

Ann - posted on 02/01/2010

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Your son is still pretty young, at 2 he wont store the memories of showering, and as he gets toward 3, he should be able to take a bath (if available) with close supervision. He might need to be a little older to handle a shower by himself. I am a single mom of a 4 1/2 yr old boy, so I have thought of this myself. my boy mainly takes baths but once in a great while he takes a shower with me. Just the two of us in the house, so I cant have daddy or other male relative take over his bathing and help him with toileting (he is a late toilet trainee). And of course he sees me dressing, pottying, etc. We are matter of fact about it. As he gets closer toward age 5 I plan to encourage him to develop his masculine privacy without hinting there is any shame about it.

Kristy - posted on 02/01/2010

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Maybe it is wrong I dont know but I shower with 3 year old son and change in front of 5 year old. Never really thought about just know that sometimes it is just easier and it saves on water! My parents were the same way with me growing up and I think if it is not treated like something WRONG, then they also will never think of it. It is natural we are as god makes.....

Catherine - posted on 02/01/2010

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I still shower and bath with my 3 year old and nearly 18 month old sons - we do have the what is that and what are those conversations! But theres no embarrasment and I don't think you need to worry about stopping yet xx

Aimee - posted on 02/01/2010

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My son is 27 months and has been showering with me all along as well. He nursed until 16 months(so I'll never have to hear the words "what's that" about those- he knows they are "boobs" and mommies have them), and we have an open-door policy in the bathroom to encourage potty training and he sees us both get dressed- I do not see any harm in it. I think it is natural for young children to see these things and it shouldn't be taboo. When we moved to our new place and took new jobs, I just did not have time to bathe him separately or have anyone to keep an eye on him while I showered. We have recently moved into a new home, with an extra bathroom- depending on how things go, I think I will start "weaning" him from showering together. We will have Mommy and Daddy's bathroom (shower only) and we will have Gavin's bathroom (tub/shower). This will, of course, depend on if I have time to take my own shower when hubby's new work schedule gets finalized!



I do think this is something that should be stopped by the time they enter school, of course, so as not to cause concern with teachers and because you don't want them remembering too much too vividly. Plus, they need to break away and start gaining some independence, and hopefully can stay out of trouble long enough for Mommy to sneak in a quick 5-10 min shower! So, I think around age 3-4 is probably a good idea to back off the showers together and gradually impose a little modesty.

DEBORAH - posted on 02/01/2010

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Now is the time to STOP this because he is going to start remembering and even if one of your girls would say something about in public and the wrong person heard it or even if they said something at school then you are running a chance of CIY being called and the girls are goimg to start thinking this is ok to be in bathroom with males with their clothing off

Claudia - posted on 02/01/2010

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Now hun ..your instincts are telling you .Dont have guilt just start today ...they will be fine.

Chris - posted on 02/01/2010

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First of all, JaNaye, your right, most people are not going to like what you say. There is an issue of trust in families. Children don't have to worry about what they look like or if they have clothes on in the house, or if they forgot to shut the bathroom door when they ran in too pee. HILARY, I guarantee your kid will be ok as long as you are ok with what is going on, and you raise your son to be comfortable with himself. I have 3 kids: 2 girls (14, 12) and 1 boy (9), and all of them have, at one time or another, showered with my husband and myself. The girls stopped showering with their dad at around age six or seven, and I finally had them stopped going in the bathroom for whatever reason, while he was showering at around age 10. We vacation every year down at a river resort which requires fast showering (not much hot water) so I get in and rotate with each kid still. Yes even the older ones because they tend to take too long! I can get all four of us out in fifteen minutes or less. All five of us walk around the house in our underwear or panties searching the laundry baskets for clothes. But when it comes to going out the door, everyone knows to dress appropriately. Everyone knows about predators. No one goes anywhere alone. And to top it off, my husband AND my son won't even answer the door without a shirt on. They are all very happy, healthy, well adjusted kids, straight A students, and successful athletes.

So Hilary, if you're still ready all this after 173 replies, RELAX! :-)

Stacey - posted on 01/31/2010

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Sometimes you have to shower with them my son is 9 months and I feel funny about it but at the end of the day I can't shower if no one else is home unless he comes in with me when he was little I'd watch him in the bath and at the same time quickly jump into the shower. Single mothers have no choice but to do this while their kids are so young you can't leave them unsupervised.

Melissa - posted on 01/31/2010

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personally I see nothing wrong with showering with a parent. I remember doing it when I was young, and it has not damaged me in any way. I showered with both mum and dad. My eldest is 5 in may and he still showers with me or daddy and as long as he wants to he is welcome. Generally children will get to an age and they decide that they want more privacy. When that time comes his wishes will be respected. My daughter is 13 months and is not fond of the shower. My son is aware that I have boobies and sees me breastfeed his sister. The toilet door is only closed when we have visitors, otherwise I have a screaming bub on the otherside. My son asks questions and has also tryed to grab my boob in the shower, not in a sexual way, just curiosity. I simply told him no dont touch. I answer all his questions truthfully and we dont make a big deal about nudity. They see both me and hubby getting dressed showering or getting undressed. Its only sexual if you make it that way. We are doing nothing "dirty" so there is nothing wrong with what we do. But each to there own and if it makes you uncomfortable dont do it. As for the people who say you will damage your childrens psyche, you people are the damaged ones in my mind!

Megan - posted on 01/31/2010

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I still shower with my son, and hes almost 2 and a half, when he starts asking questions, then ill stop, sometimes its the only time i get to take a shower, considering i have a 3 month old son also! He takes baths with his 2 and a half year old cousin also, who is a girl, and they just love it! they play and think their swimming! and it saves on my water bill alot! i dont see any harm in it

Gwendolyn - posted on 01/31/2010

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Trust your instincts. If your son is not uncomfortable then continue for a while longer. If he starts asking questions... answer them and then make a change. I would suggest stopping by the time he is 5. You do not want to have to go to his school and have conversations with the staff about something totally innocent that just does not sound right to people outside your family. As for his psyche.. teaching possitve body image & privacy is somethign you will do well as a loving mom.

Anisca - posted on 01/31/2010

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Well my son is now 2yrs old and i think its cool 2 give him his space cuz he'll need it ooner or later so why not now... He takes bath on his own and i take showers by myself i think its also a bit easier to manage

[deleted account]

i showered with all of my boys. it just makes it easier and quicker to get both of us done. my middle child is almost 3 and is starting to look at me weird sometimes so i dont do it as offten. but i think it is a good way to also teach them good cleaning habits.

Kathryn - posted on 01/31/2010

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That's a good question. I have no problem with getting undressed in front of my daughter but my husband doesn't even want her to see him in his underwear. I think at that young it's still ok. Maybe stop by 4 or 5 but for now they are still young and innocent. If they ask what is that, just explain in age appropriate terms.

Kelly - posted on 01/31/2010

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My son, 4 1/2, and daughter, almost 7, just recently stopped taking baths together. The reason I stopped this was I found them in the bedroom. She had taken his clothes off and was giving him a pretend bath. We talked about it and I explained it is not OK. She and I have been taking showers together instead.

Amelia - posted on 01/31/2010

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My son is 2 and i still stick him in the shower with me from time to time. It is a matter of time and convenience for me. I also have a 7 weeks old daughter so i get a shower when I can. My husband works full time and is also a full time student so if it takes Levi going in the shower with me for me to get one then so it will be. To me he is still too young to know anything other than "Heck Yeah mom I'm gonna splash you good! He's not old enough to think of anything other than playing in the water with his toys and feeling like a big boy with his own wash cloth and soap. I think once he starts to wonder why mommy has different parts than he does and wants to know why then we will call that one quits but until then I will do what I have to do when time and hygiene are of the essence.

Karmen - posted on 01/31/2010

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Natalie--thank u i dont know y ppl overanalize things my son is gona b 3 in june hes always taken a shower wit me.. to him its normal he knows body parts n he doesnt start questioning me he just enjoys his time w/ me we have talks n laughs in there i teach him how to wash his body properly i think if u make it seem like a big deal then it will b just relax ppl stress things way too much

Theresa - posted on 01/31/2010

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My oldest son used to come into the bathroom when I showered. I'd leave the door open since we were home alone. When he was about 3 he pointed and my pubic hair and said "Mommy I think you missed a spot, you have some poopy on you." i decided that he was noticing things so maybe it was time to have a privacy discussion. I just told him that when people are going to have their clothe soff they want privacy, so from now on I was going to shut the door when I showered or went poty and he would have to knock if he wanted something. There were no problems with that. I don't think kids become aware of bodies until about 3 or so. Take cues from your son. if he starts noticing differences or tried to touch body parts that's probably a good sign to have the privacy conversation. You also don't want to go over boeard and make him feel that bodies are bad things either.

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2010

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This is to JaNaye... there's a new thing called...communication, try it it really does work! Teach your children about "sick" people, privacy... that their body is theirs and not to be embarrassed...dont shut down when they ask questions....showering is not going to hurt them..unless it is innapropriate!

Crystal - posted on 01/31/2010

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When he starts to notice a difference, explain in "child "terms, just act natural dont make a big deal out of it ...then stop. Thats how i handled it with my now 7y/o, I've always taught him not to be ashamed of his body but also know we need our privacy. Comunication is key!

Sandra - posted on 01/31/2010

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I've wondered the same. I shower with my 2yr old son sometimes because its easier just to get my shower in and bath him in all at one time. I think this may be the last year we shower together.

Rachelle - posted on 01/31/2010

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My son is six years old. I hide nothing from him. I see no reason for it. He has asked me all the questions you would expect and I have answered him honestly. It's only a dirty thing if you make it dirty. The more you hide it the dirtier it gets.

Jessica - posted on 01/31/2010

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My 6 year old still gets in the shower with me if we're in a hurry and neither of us are uncomfortable. He knows he can ask me questions and I feel that I shouldn't have to hide myself just because I have boys. They both know that "girls" are different and we have different body parts. I think it's better for kids to know the truth early and ask questions then to wonder about things.

Danna - posted on 01/31/2010

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My rule of thumb for what it's worth! When my son started asking "what are those?" I explained very simply my body parts; his body parts; and then the showers together ended. I think it is important to let them know what things are, but I never expected to be his model for discovery:) I remember asking friends what they though (my son is now 28), and we all had pretty much the same. I never wanted my son to be ashamed asking, but I didn't want to encourage the long glances either. Hope this helps.

Noreen - posted on 01/31/2010

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i still shower with my 2 daughters, 2 and 4... i think i just let them know it's ok to shower with us but only mommy is allowed to shower them... nobody else should do that... to be confident with their body and natural... not to be seen naked by others... introducing them the difference between girls and boys... that when they grow big they will become like mommy... and needs privacy... so my little 4 years old, is learning, she ask privacy in going to toilet by closing the door and call out for me when she needs something... i think it's ok as we slowly teach them the way of things and not to put malice... just educating them on the changes of growing... kids are very perceptive... and eager to learn... so when they ask "what's that?" , just answer them appropriately and explain the difference of being a baby and becoming a big girl and what it is to be adult like mommy and daddy... good luck...

Vickie - posted on 01/31/2010

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Two to three is a good time to stop. They just see you as mom then and should be no "damage". It is fun to lather them up and play with them in the shower-makes it fun for them too and a 'good' experience overall.

Vickie - posted on 01/31/2010

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Two to three is a good time to stop. They just see you as mom then and should be no "damage". It is fun to lather them up and play with them in the shower-makes it fun for them too and a 'good' experience overall.

Lauren - posted on 01/31/2010

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Both my husband and I take turns with showering our 18 month old son and 3yo daughter, we have no choice as we do not have a bath and they are both obviously too big for a baby bath. It would be irresponsible for us to leave them to shower by themselves and someones got to hop in to wash them... I don't see any problem with it while they are young...

Rebecca - posted on 01/31/2010

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JaNaye - seriously? They know the difference because we talk to them and tell them. They need to learn bodies are not to be feared. Keep everything under wraps and they will just have even greater curiosity when older and be even more at risk.



I think there is nothing wrong as long as you and your child are comfortable. Same as showering/bathing your kids together. Being too strict just sets them up to have body issues etc when they are older I think. There is a balance that needs to be struck between protecting our children from abuse, and creating other problems.



There is nothing wrong with family members doing normal, everyday things like showering/bathing/toiletting in sight of each other as long as everyone is comfortable.

Lydia - posted on 01/31/2010

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I have always showered in front of both my son and daughter, now 8 and 9. I think that children reach a decision in their own head when they no longer feel confortable either watching or bathing with their parents. I certainly don't feel weird with my 8 yr old boy in the shower with me as I gave birth to him and have looked after him all his life, I often have to wash him as he doesn't bother himself. When he turns around and says he would rather wash himself , I'll respect his wishes.

April - posted on 01/31/2010

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I have 3 boys, ages 14, 11 and 8. I stopped showering with them when they started asking about the differences between us or were acting overly curious. You aren't going to hurt their Psyche just by making sure they are clean. If anything it might just make you closer to their Psyche...at least that is what my experience has taught me and their Pediatrician agreed with me 100%.

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